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Peace of Mind 1
Incel Basement Dweller


Registered: 04/05/11
Posts: 15,027
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: kakashi68]
#24830998 - 12/06/17 11:06 PM (6 years, 1 month ago) |
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Apostle
Philanthropist


Registered: 12/12/09
Posts: 31,501
Loc: FL
Last seen: 1 year, 23 days
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I have a job and am about to be free of the legal system
My higher power is gonna have his hands full.
I had a premonition when i was sitting in a meeting, sort of like a vision, and it was the same scene but without me there and a few people saying what a shame it was. My brother also feels like he'll be getting the call soon.
I overdosed again,not long ago, for only the second time ever. It was in my dads bathroom yet again. Just like the first time. I don't live with him,it was supposed to be a nice few days together. i am sure i've made any further visits nerve wrecking if i'm even allowed. I didn't get back into it and i don't plan to but all it takes is a slip and slip i did, nearly into a permanent sleep. If not for the pain i would leave behind i'd probably be less cautious. It wasn't scary from my perspective, either time, nor were there any scenes of hell or anything at all.
I don't think it's just the fent, which is all they found in my system, i think there is other stuff out there because i know the smell of apvp and i sweated it out of my pours. I think they are just mixing what they think are all the popular drugs and combining them when they don't realize that each user has their tastes. This led to me redosing and convincing myself i was sick not long after a bag, probably an uneasiness brought on by pvp. There are people falling asleep from smoking crack and reports of tainted xanax are now common.
I was shooting fentanyl analouges without a scale and i never once fell out like i did these two times. people are dropping like flies around my area and anyone who's in the know , knows fent isn't anything new so idk if they are intentionally distributing something more sinister, perhaps an extra ingredient that isn't even a drug but it's strange.
I'm nearly positive mine had apvp and perhaps i wasnt close to dying and merely had a psychotic black out typical of "flaka" plus the incapacitation of fent and it made it look worse. it sure looked bad though. i had the displeasure of watching myself spasm as if trying to keep my heart going on a video my brother took. The first time i've seen the same horror i've made my parents watch as my mother cried and screamed begging God not to take me.
I don't want to go back, i don't want to be a junky. I HATE being physically dependent. but i don't hate opiates. i like them, may even love them. I like how they make me work better, work out better, not be held back by any of lifes aches and pains...AT FIRST.
I contemplate maintenance programs but i don't want to NEED anything to feel normal. i cannot tolerate withdrawl especially after a long time on the stuff. i've detoxed more recently but only on moderate runs of a week or two and off of kratom, which actually was a bit tough. I think a full blown detox would drive me to suicide though and so if i decided on MMT i know it's a dangerous game. I've only ever kicked my serious usage with jail and i refuse to do that show again either. I'm at the end of my rope with this affliction and 90 percent of the time i want to let it go. dont even think about it.
Everyone has their cup of tea though, i don't like to drink, i do like to smoke but i don't like to feel vulnerable or stoned while out making money and on a long enough timeline there will come a moment where i want an opiate.
Is it safer to try total abstinence rather than maintenance given my history? That's what it boils down to and i'm not sure.
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Magicman69
All About the Benjamins


Registered: 05/29/13
Posts: 6,876
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Apostle]
#24831061 - 12/07/17 12:00 AM (6 years, 1 month ago) |
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Suboxone is a good path for most real Opiate addicts. I'm talking about addicts who have been using opiates for multiple years straight daily at high doses. Addicts who have been through numerous treatments.
Suboxone is the easiest way off and allows the addict time to get the rest of his\her life in order. Like get job for starters, most addicts at this point haven't worked in multiple years. Can't survive without a job.
Suboxone provides stability against an addiction that almost always kills eventually. Then you can wean them down in a controlled manner after a year or two of stability and emotional growth.
'Rehabs' often do more harm than good because that's when most people OD, after a Detox and treatment. They're making money selling the painkillers at a marked up price, then they make money on providing the treatment. It's hilarious and by they I mean the Medical field
Edited by Magicman69 (12/07/17 12:24 AM)
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Apostle
Philanthropist


Registered: 12/12/09
Posts: 31,501
Loc: FL
Last seen: 1 year, 23 days
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Magicman69]
#24831726 - 12/07/17 11:07 AM (6 years, 1 month ago) |
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i spent a year on subs before.
I can get and stay clean, so far my record was 9 months, but i never lose the infatuation and know i'll use them again.
It's more a question of how to prevent my dying when i inevitably dabble and whether or not it'd be better to willingly get physically hooked to have a safer product. Something that is also inevitable once i do start "dabbling".
Having a job is the part im worried about. It's the same reason i never pursued a 10000
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trvptamine
P-Mx$$



Registered: 07/06/15
Posts: 4,859
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Apostle]
#24862383 - 12/22/17 04:05 PM (6 years, 1 month ago) |
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Hey guys. Thought id post about how I've been lately.
Ive been clean from heroin for 6 months now and just take my suboxone. It gets really hard at times though no lie. Sometimes I feel like nothing matters and I should just go back to banging again but I know I just can't live my life that way anymore. It does suck not being able to get high on opiates anymore though, I miss the feeling, and I never catch even the slightest buzz on my 8mg subs anymore.
I hope everyone is doing alright as well. Keep your heads up.
--------------------
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kakashi68
Connoiseur of Illicit Substances


Registered: 11/25/11
Posts: 2,116
Loc: STRAYA
Last seen: 10 days, 6 hours
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: trvptamine]
#24862866 - 12/22/17 08:40 PM (6 years, 1 month ago) |
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in my situation ive found things I want to do more than H. Ive get enough shit to do. And my quality of life is just generally better.
I guess I just go to the stage where I dont even want to do it anymore. Like truly wanted to give it up... not just the "i gotta give it up but secretly I still really want to do it" I do get cravings... but there pretty easy to manage.
That said. This all goes to shit when I start getting involved with females. Must stay strong.
-------------------- You know, just sometimes in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that 400th glass of cornershop piss at 3am--you do sometimes look at yourself and think--this is fantastic. I'm in heaven. -Bernard Black
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ModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE



Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: kakashi68]
#24915557 - 01/15/18 11:51 AM (6 years, 15 days ago) |
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Staying the course Still looking for new hobbies to keep my mind busy Looking forward to warmer weather so I can hike
-------------------- Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?
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Near Dylan
Shitpost Artist


Registered: 07/29/15
Posts: 13,929
Last seen: 7 days, 20 hours
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: kakashi68]
#24915583 - 01/15/18 12:03 PM (6 years, 15 days ago) |
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Quote:
kakashi68 said: in my situation ive found things I want to do more than H. Ive get enough shit to do. And my quality of life is just generally better.
I guess I just go to the stage where I dont even want to do it anymore. Like truly wanted to give it up... not just the "i gotta give it up but secretly I still really want to do it" I do get cravings... but there pretty easy to manage.
That said. This all goes to shit when I start getting involved with females. Must stay strong.
i feel the same. I stopped doing heroin and just did other shit and forgot about it
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egodeathflux
Guttersnipe



Registered: 02/02/10
Posts: 3,854
Loc: The Stygian Pits
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Near Dylan]
#24978563 - 02/09/18 12:10 PM (5 years, 11 months ago) |
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Thread's only year old.... sought I'd revive it.
Basically I need UrGENT advice. Going through a detox as I type. FUCKED on pregabs though, so not feeling too bad. JUst wanna know if taking like a 1mg of bupe a day and a bit into a detox would just mke precipitated WD's worse and I'd be just putting another opioid into my systen. It;s be a tiny amount of bupe. Anyadvice/experience please lemme know. Cheers all, goood to be back ater year and a half.
-------------------- "Atrophic interludes weave through my life far too often, for me to fight the biggest enemies" "Standing on the corner of 5th and Vermouth"
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite



Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
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The answer is that it depends. Generally the advice is to wait at least 24h after your last dose, or longer for a heavy habit or long acting opiods like methadone. 1mg is not actually that small of a dose.
I'm not sure I understand the question though, are you in precipitated withdrawals i.e. you took bupe too soon after a full agonist?
I would definitely not take bupe if you're not feeling very very bad. Especially if you're a heavy/long-term user. The risk of precipitated withdrawals is very real.
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sprinkles
otd president


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state
Last seen: 3 years, 17 days
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: ModestMouse] 1
#24978878 - 02/09/18 02:58 PM (5 years, 11 months ago) |
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.
Edited by sprinkles (02/22/18 09:26 PM)
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egodeathflux
Guttersnipe



Registered: 02/02/10
Posts: 3,854
Loc: The Stygian Pits
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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No not taken any bupe. Just have some stashed away and trying to detox at home. Been washing filters 4-5 times last few days that is all I had, and some co-codamol. Was in bad WDtwice in last week. Kept finding more filters etc in places nthtat people thought were cleansed.
Junkies are a resourceful lot. I just wanna be clean. No way I am going back. (lol)
-------------------- "Atrophic interludes weave through my life far too often, for me to fight the biggest enemies" "Standing on the corner of 5th and Vermouth"
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keyohnah
the proverbial mind spread



Registered: 10/18/10
Posts: 2,054
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: sprinkles]
#24979081 - 02/09/18 05:00 PM (5 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
sprinkles said:
when i stop using H i am going to just suffer. one thing i dont want is another crutch. what I hate more than anything is needing something. it is living in bondage.
"Unless we agree to suffer we cannot be free of suffering." -D.T. Suzuki
When I first kicked dope, I went on suboxone maintenance despite my better judgement. Don't get me wrong, it works for some people but I agree with you. I don't want to need anything. I still needed suboxone in the same way I needed heroin; withdrawals were inevitable if I ran out. That's an awful feeling. Getting off suboxone maintenance was one of the best decisions I made.
It's safer than picking up a needle, less chance of being thrown in jail, etc so I understand why people chose it but it's just not for me.
-------------------- "Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story."
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keyohnah
the proverbial mind spread



Registered: 10/18/10
Posts: 2,054
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Precipitated withdrawals is when you throw yourself into withdrawals usually by taking something like suboxone too soon, kicking the full agonist off of your receptors without being able to activate them in the same way.
It sounds like you're just experiencing regular withdrawals? It also sounds like you're just torturing yourself right now, to be honest. You're prolonging your withdrawals by doing cotton shots and by taking other opiates. Either cold turkey it completely or do a legit taper on suboxone and be done with it all.
I've done what you're doing right now. I've literally tried every way to make a cold turkey detox or a detox at home less miserable that I could possibly think of. The blunt truth of it is a cold turkey detox is going to be hell. It is what it is. There are things you can take or do to get some relief but any kind of opiate is just going to prolong your withdrawals unless done on a proper taper schedule.
Are you hell bent on doing this at home or would you consider doing a detox at an actual detox center? Either way, don't give up, man. There's light at the end of the tunnel, I promise. It WILL get better.
-------------------- "Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story."
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egodeathflux
Guttersnipe



Registered: 02/02/10
Posts: 3,854
Loc: The Stygian Pits
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: keyohnah]
#24980129 - 02/10/18 03:32 AM (5 years, 11 months ago) |
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You are right about prlolonging things 100%, what's an addict to do? You need to take away all my toys and seven years of iv use means there is always something, well not now haha.
I know about precips, been through that few times. Going to have to ride it out in the end, hoping I can sedate myself through the worst of it.
Support to any other people going through the same thing.
-------------------- "Atrophic interludes weave through my life far too often, for me to fight the biggest enemies" "Standing on the corner of 5th and Vermouth"
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egodeathflux
Guttersnipe



Registered: 02/02/10
Posts: 3,854
Loc: The Stygian Pits
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Pregab causes constipation, oh fuck!
-------------------- "Atrophic interludes weave through my life far too often, for me to fight the biggest enemies" "Standing on the corner of 5th and Vermouth"
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keyohnah
the proverbial mind spread



Registered: 10/18/10
Posts: 2,054
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I know, it's rough especially in the beginning but it's incredibly worth it. I'm proud of you for making this choice
-------------------- "Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story."
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egodeathflux
Guttersnipe



Registered: 02/02/10
Posts: 3,854
Loc: The Stygian Pits
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: keyohnah]
#24983034 - 02/10/18 01:16 PM (5 years, 11 months ago) |
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Thanks, I'm trying. ANY ADVICE to help with WDs would be amazing, thanks guys/girls/other.
-------------------- "Atrophic interludes weave through my life far too often, for me to fight the biggest enemies" "Standing on the corner of 5th and Vermouth"
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kakashi68
Connoiseur of Illicit Substances


Registered: 11/25/11
Posts: 2,116
Loc: STRAYA
Last seen: 10 days, 6 hours
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reduce any strain on your liver. only take drugs that are NECESSARY like ibuprofen or anti shitting drugs if needed. No high sugar drinks or junk food. Hot showers work good.
-------------------- You know, just sometimes in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that 400th glass of cornershop piss at 3am--you do sometimes look at yourself and think--this is fantastic. I'm in heaven. -Bernard Black
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LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,359
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 2 hours, 33 minutes
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: kakashi68]
#24983312 - 02/10/18 02:26 PM (5 years, 11 months ago) |
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Good advice. Some light exercise to boast endorphins isnt a bad idea either.
Eat healthy foods always helps as well.
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