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Adden

Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 39,201
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Rustifer]
#22490390 - 11/07/15 11:36 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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I could never go on subs or methadone. Oxy wd is hard enough. I can't imagine a whole month of that. No way. God bless you guys but whatever it takes to get clean, do it. Don't end up in the RIP thread =/
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Rustifer
prestige worldwide



Registered: 04/10/05
Posts: 7,071
Loc: Central Texas
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Adden]
#22490445 - 11/07/15 11:48 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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trying really hard not to.
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Adden

Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 39,201
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Rustifer]
#22490453 - 11/07/15 11:49 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Rusty...
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Adden

Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 39,201
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Adden]
#22490459 - 11/07/15 11:52 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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A friend sent me this while I was sick and it made me feel better and helped realize a lot of things on a trip.
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite



Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Rustifer]
#22490475 - 11/07/15 11:58 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Yeah ain't it funny how you don't realize that you've crossed those lines until it's too late. Sounds like you've been through alot lately, but I also think you're the type of tough nut that can defy the odds. I'm here rooting for you man, weather you're well enough to post or not, no matter how many tries it takes. Most of the whole world hates a junkie, I think we even hate ourselves alot of the time , so we've got to stick together through the good and bad times.
Do not go gentle into that good night!
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Rustifer
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Registered: 04/10/05
Posts: 7,071
Loc: Central Texas
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Yeah guys, something is keeping me here. I've ODed so many times, done so much insane shit, and I can still get off scott-free. I've seen so many barely start to put their toe in the water, and they're taken out quick either to prison or the grave. Only lucky junkies get out quick.
I think if I just stay out of San Antonio, I'll be alright without it. At least last time I left I was cool. I just smoked tons of bud.
It's been 14 hours, and I'm not the least bit sick. I'm gonna try to just hold out and go to sleep tonight without taking any sub. Seems like I'll just be restless for a few days if I do that. Normally I'd start puking around right now. Maybe I did use just the right amount in just the right way to prevent getting sick.
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Big Worm
Perf


Registered: 04/20/09
Posts: 7,642
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
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I had a fairly high mg benzo habit about a year ago for a good 4-6 months.
Still don't think I was really addicted, but my body starting showing signs of dependency (physical symptoms)
I was doing 6-8mg Clonazepam a day. Sometimes 70-80mg Diazepam or about 6mg Alprazolam. Sometimes I would mix and match (I had an excellent supplier)
I started getting "Brain Zaps" is the best i can describe it, kind of like the feeling of electricity running through my brain, restless legs, rebound anxiety and depression and just a few other uncomfortable physical symptoms.
As my supply started to dwindle, I knew I had to do something.
So I sold the rest of my clonazepam and started to taper with valium over about a month and that was pretty much it.
I binge hard on benzo's. Not really a consistent habit or addiction. I'll get an order and go in for a couple months. Then stop for a month Then get another order.
But I haven't used any benzo's in about 4-5 months.
I have an order coming in though, so this months is going to be a lot of fun and a lot of lol
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite



Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Rustifer]
#22490615 - 11/07/15 12:33 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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I find when the dope is good 24h to start to get physically sick, and 48h you should have the full cluck going, then after that things start to stabilize except the problems from not sleeping start to factor in so it can continue to get worse for over a week. Maybe you're not as hooked as you think, but that's almost always wishful thinking IME. I one time heard of a guy who through some miracle experienced no withdrawal, and I'm usually not religious but this shit will get me trying to make deals with whatever deity will listen. Gods hates junkies too tho apparently.
I hit another junkie milestone yesterday. Had to reach into my bum and extract a pancaked wad of stuck together pooballs that was threatening to get impacted or tear my sphincter asunder. Normally I make a point to squirt some water up there to soften things up when it gets too sticky, but this was an emergency and required hasty action so that I did not blow my O-ring out.

Another one of those things that I had heard from other junkies, and I was like 'never gonna happen to me' then one day I find myself on the toilet with my stomach doing flips and a sharp pain in my colon and I've done another one of the things I said I would never do. Thank god I used to grow so I have plenty of latex gloves, but still not pleasant other than getting that shitball out of my body.
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Rustifer
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Registered: 04/10/05
Posts: 7,071
Loc: Central Texas
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Had to do that a few months ago because of methadone. I had always used the term shitting bricks. I found out that day I was wrong all those times before.
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Adden

Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 39,201
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Quote:
moonrockmushy said: Yeah ain't it funny how you don't realize that you've crossed those lines until it's too late. Sounds like you've been through alot lately, but I also think you're the type of tough nut that can defy the odds. I'm here rooting for you man, weather you're well enough to post or not, no matter how many tries it takes. Most of the whole world hates a junkie, I think we even hate ourselves alot of the time , so we've got to stick together through the good and bad times.
Do not go gentle into that good night!
You either. You're in my top 5 most respected posters so you can't be that bad of a person. You have solid conviction and stick to your guns. I respect that.
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite



Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Adden] 1
#22490687 - 11/07/15 12:50 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Thanks man, that means alot. This board means alot to me, yourself included, and I think my best posting comes when I am clean so it's good to know I'll be serving the community as well as my own future.

2012-2013 was my only big period of being clean through my 20s at 18 months, and then the past year I have been relatively stable on suboxone. Actually the reason I signed up here then hardly posted for so many years is that 2005 was also the year I first got hooked on OCs. I was over at opiophile, which I think might be gone now, but that place was depressing and boring once I got over romanticizing the whole lifestyle.
The shroomery has always helped me get clean though, at least once I get through the acute phase where I can't do shit. I will try not to let you down~!
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Adden

Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 39,201
Loc:
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Seriously get up on Kratom for maintenance.
I wish I was at where I am now when I made this post, but I was still getting surgeries and couldn't even get out of bed for physical therapy half the time.
Kratom: Alleviating Opiate Withdrawal
I was on 600mg of oxy a day, with 80mg zohydro and morphine. I can't even remember what dosages. I was also supplementing poppy tea. I'm surprised I didn't die.
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TNK
Pleasures of Africa



Registered: 01/30/10
Posts: 14,237
Loc: I AM THUNDERBOT
Last seen: 1 month, 18 days
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Adden]
#22491105 - 11/07/15 02:25 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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I want to hop back on the opiate bandwagon again so badly. It is a daily struggle not to fall back into my old way of living, a part of me wants to say fuck it, go back to being a homeless gutter-punk heroin addict on the streets of Seattle, than the other part of me is like.
"Are you fucking insane? That shit sucked!"
But I can't help but miss it... That warm numbing feeling of everything going to be alright, if only for a minute, it'll be alright.
I'm pretty sure my best friend of all time has been consumed by the streets... I hope he is alive, but I can't hold my breath, I was the last person to talk to him almost four months ago..
-------------------- Edited by TNK (02/22/22 22:22 PM)
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Rustifer
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Registered: 04/10/05
Posts: 7,071
Loc: Central Texas
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How do you get that post graph? I bet most of mine are made during my clean periods.
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TNK
Pleasures of Africa



Registered: 01/30/10
Posts: 14,237
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Rustifer]
#22491157 - 11/07/15 02:42 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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-------------------- Edited by TNK (02/22/22 22:22 PM)
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Rustifer
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Registered: 04/10/05
Posts: 7,071
Loc: Central Texas
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Rustifer]
#22491169 - 11/07/15 02:45 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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So weird, when I'm not posting here, I'm strung out. This graph is a fairly accurate depiction of my history with heroin.
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morrowasted
Worldwide Stepper



Registered: 10/30/09
Posts: 31,377
Loc: House of Mirrors
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Rustifer]
#22491182 - 11/07/15 02:47 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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So you were strung out for 4 years straight? Ouch.
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TNK
Pleasures of Africa



Registered: 01/30/10
Posts: 14,237
Loc: I AM THUNDERBOT
Last seen: 1 month, 18 days
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: morrowasted]
#22491199 - 11/07/15 02:49 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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I started using Heroin in 2011, stopped a few months ago. My graph depicts the same. lol..
-------------------- Edited by TNK (02/22/22 22:22 PM)
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Rustifer
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Registered: 04/10/05
Posts: 7,071
Loc: Central Texas
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: morrowasted]
#22491226 - 11/07/15 02:54 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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pretty much, was on suboxone all of 2011 and half of 2012, stayed strung out until I went to rehab for the first time at the end of 2012, relapsed 3 days after I got out in January 2013, and stayed strung out except some short stays in rehab and detox until april 2014, had a year clean there until this April, and been on methadone until about 2 months ago. It's been a rough past few years.
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Adden

Registered: 06/04/03
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Rustifer]
#22491240 - 11/07/15 02:56 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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I never would've thought how sad it is to see this from afar. Not aimed at anyone, aimed at opiate addiction.
I'm not high horsing. Just because doctors and surgeons had me on them for injuries doesn't exclude me from being an addict. I was in denial for a long time but when it hurts to leave bed to take a piss and you're still covered in bandages.. well.. =/
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