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InvisibleMush 4 Brains
about tree fiddy
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Registered: 12/19/07
Posts: 8,298
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: ModestMouse]
    #23617922 - 09/06/16 11:49 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

I understand what both of you are saying but its hardly trading "apples for apples." At least for me, i can only speak for myself.

Its certainly better than shooting dope of unknown purity you score on the street. And of course supply and money arent really issues either. But for me a pst habit is leauges away from a heroin habit in many key ways.

With heroin, i have to shoot it. Its the only way i want to take it. Also my tolerence always skyrockets and I'll keep doing more and more til i ruin myself. I cant not spiral out of control into the worst depths of addiction.

If my insurance didnt suck and i could go back to a pain clinic id be prescribed opiates to treat my pain like i was.

Another thing is that ive been clean of all opiates for many months before starting with pst. And the pst has just made my life so much easier. The funny thing is that even though potency is supposed to vary between batches of seeds ive found way more consistency than i ever had with dope.

My dosage has stayed the same, i havent developed any kind of significant tolerence to the seeds. Much like if i had a prescription from a doc, i follow a dosage schedule which i do not deviate from.

I had a realization about heroin and how specifically its in a league of its own. You cant (practically) take an oral dose. You either have to snort, shoot, or smoke (which is not applicable to me due to the type of h i have access to.) Smoking and snorting lead to compulsive dosing. Just the activity, the process itself is addictive.

So far things have been better than good. In my mind its no different than going to a doc and getting a prescription i rightfully need. This whole last year has been like going to rehab for me. I went completely broke, was unemployed and had to rely on my family. I didnt care that i lost everyrhing in my life that was good. I just wanted to get high for the longest time.

I dabbled with trying to get clean, then using again. Clean then relapse, again and again, over and over. I didnt have a cent to my name most of the time but when i did it went to dope. I mean id stay clean for a month because i was broke and couldnt acess anyrhing. Then id get some money and right away use again. It was because mentally i was still addicted.

No physical addiction but a lingering desire to get high. The physical ad struggle of wd isnt shit to me, the mental lock is what got me. At times the only thing that kept me alive was knowing that id have money again and again  i could get high. Thats all i looked forward to. After a while i was beaten down enough and sick of it all. Ready to stop by choice. And i did. I dont crave it anymore honestly. Its a distant nightmare now.


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OfflineApostle
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Registered: 12/12/09
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Last seen: 1 year, 23 days
Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: ModestMouse]
    #23617925 - 09/06/16 11:50 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Broke all my needles.


Had .5 millligrams of suboxone IF that, yesterday.


today is 4 or so days off heroin


No opiods at all in my system today.

I feel fine.

The month or two long heroin binge has come to an end and i am just glad i escaped with so little discomfort.


I'm done Guy.

for real this time.


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OfflineRedBalloon
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Registered: 08/23/16
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Apostle]
    #23617937 - 09/06/16 11:54 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

go get 500mg strength aspirin and take two then drink alot of caffeine


--------------------
i like to keep it mello, ya i keep it mello, i like to keep it mellow, ya i keep it mello, i like to keep it mello

-Jenny Camilla Baker


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InvisibleModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE
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Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Apostle]
    #23617956 - 09/06/16 12:00 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

:highfive:
Lets go apostle we got this
I didn't have the habit as strong as you did but I am 4 days clean as well

Edit: So is jelly we gotta keep this going boys


--------------------
Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?


Edited by ModestMouse (09/06/16 12:10 PM)


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OfflineApostle
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: ModestMouse]
    #23617977 - 09/06/16 12:11 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

i just have to not get bored. physically i've always been alright at champing it out. My mind can get the best of me though especially when i'm stressed out.

I think i'll be okay though and i hope you will be too.

I can probably use sex to fill the void for a while until i get through PAWS.

now to find a willing partner...


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InvisibleModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE
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Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Apostle]
    #23617991 - 09/06/16 12:16 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Lets go baby we got this
:mallow:


--------------------
Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?


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Offlinekakashi68
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Registered: 11/25/11
Posts: 2,116
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Mush 4 Brains]
    #23618202 - 09/06/16 01:11 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Mush 4 Brains said:
Ive been sticking to my poppy seed tea lately and its been treating me very well. My life has been so much more stable and improved compared to when i was doing h. Its like life now is even better than before i started doing h.

Im excited to be free of its stranglehold. I cant even picture doing h anymore. I cant relate to the mindset anymore it disgusts me. The desperation and the anguish from being sick all the time, worrying about getting that next hit all the time. I may still be technically an addict but life is stable. I dont even drink anymore, just my typical daily dose of pst and some mj on occasion.

I woke up a few days ago and in that morning i could smell/feel the beginning of the seasons change. I had a flashback to last year around this time and remembered how horribly depressing life was. It just takes up so much energy and effort to be addicted. Its like a tremendous weight has been lifted.

I remember the last bag i did and how i had a wave of pleasure that lasted 10 mins followed by nothing but regret.




yea... your still addicted... pod withdrawal is slow.


--------------------
You know, just sometimes in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that 400th glass of cornershop piss at 3am--you do sometimes look at yourself and think--this is fantastic. I'm in heaven.
-Bernard Black



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InvisibleMush 4 Brains
about tree fiddy
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Registered: 12/19/07
Posts: 8,298
Loc: Tacos
Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: kakashi68]
    #23618263 - 09/06/16 01:26 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Dependent not addicted technically as my dosage has not increased. Which is irrelevant, in any case its a world of difference than putting a needle in your arm. You really couldnt argue any different to me. Im living proof.

Pst wd doesnt have poop on h addiction/wd for me. I can take the physical wd no prob. I take periodic t-breaks and dont experience bad wd at all due to keeping a low dose.

You could claim im still an addict but youd be wrong by definition. The difference is the desperation is gone. In my months 100% sober i did a lot of soul searching and learned a lot about myself. I dont live to get high anymore


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Posts: 19,067
Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Apostle]
    #23618367 - 09/06/16 01:59 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Apostle said:
Broke all my needles.


Had .5 millligrams of suboxone IF that, yesterday.


today is 4 or so days off heroin


No opiods at all in my system today.

I feel fine.

The month or two long heroin binge has come to an end and i am just glad i escaped with so little discomfort.


I'm done Guy.

for real this time.




Lets hear that same attitude in 36 hours!  You got this!


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OfflineApostle
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #23618374 - 09/06/16 02:03 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

The sub dose was most likely placebo.

i inject my suboxone so what i did was shoot up the wash when i awoke yesterday morning.
i guesstimate that at most it was .5 milligrams.


kicking is the easy part, i just have a problem staying off.

I do hope that i can retain my resolve though and i appreciate the words of encouragement.


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Apostle]
    #23618476 - 09/06/16 02:30 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

IME that is not even close to a placebo and you won't get real sick for 36-48 hours.  Your mileage may vary but with suboxone it is very easy to think that you've tapered well and are through the worst when you're not even close yet.  That is a big part of why it sucks for me at least.

I know what you mean about kicking being easy.  It's a cakewalk compared to dealing with sobriety.


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OfflineApostle
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #23618481 - 09/06/16 02:32 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

moonrockmushy said:
IME that is not even close to a placebo .



In your experience of injecting suboxone washes?

does it really leave that much behind?

i've used suboxone as a sort of buffer zone many times.

i don't know why it works that way for me but it does.
I've heard similar things from other people.

At the same time i've also heard people experience what you describe after thinking they are in the clear.


I'm definitely experiencing some w.d but its nothing significant and i think it may also be withdrawl from gabapentin which i've been abusing profusely.


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Apostle]
    #23618506 - 09/06/16 02:40 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Idunno washes can vary quite a bit, hard to gauge, but I do know that 0.2mg is a decent dose of suboxone, 0.5mg isn't really even that low when you're talking about tapering down from a long-term habit.  Even if it's only been a month this time around, we have permanent brain damage bro.


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OfflineCrumist
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Mush 4 Brains]
    #23618523 - 09/06/16 02:45 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Please be careful about overdosing on the tea. Titrate every batch you make, please.

Glad to hear you are feeling better and I agree the tea is probably a big step closer to sobriety or
away from dependence at least. Good on ya


--------------------
'I am all for resources being allocated to the widowed single mother of 3, lost husband over seas fighting for our country. I am for vets getting mental health access and resources following war. I am not for free money cause a woman can't close her legs or some chump with low testosterone no going to work cause "i'm sad."' -finalexplosion
Nice knowin ya'll! https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/23904704/vc/1#23904704


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OfflineApostle
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #23618525 - 09/06/16 02:46 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

yea i'm just saying i don't think it was enough to stave of w.d. for any lengthy period of time. i was already feeling sick last night and had to eat all of my gabapentin just to get some relief. Given it's 36 hr half-life, i'm inclined to believe the wash may have been inactive since my w.d. set in already.


we are some sick puppies, that's for sure.


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Apostle]
    #23618550 - 09/06/16 02:51 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Just know that suboxone takes days to get out of you, and often I will feel sick after I take it, but I am really only half sick.

Are you getting:

-insomnia
-chills
-gooseflesh
-loose shits
-feeling like someone walked over your grave

If the answer is all yes, maybe you are at your worst, but if you're just feeling drained and unhappy you probably have a ways to go.  Just my take.  If you get none of that after a month run, you're lucky.

In any case keep it up, I definitely don't want to discourage you, just brace for the worst y'know?


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OfflineApostle
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #23618556 - 09/06/16 02:54 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Mostly hot flashes.

i'll keep you updated.


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Offlineegodeathflux
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Crumist]
    #23619607 - 09/06/16 08:20 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Crumist said:
Please be careful about overdosing on the tea. Titrate




I am not familiar with what titrate means in this context... Can you fill me in? I basically use PPT 90% of the time the last 8-9 months.

Managed to make my 1/8th oz last 5-6 days though, with some feeble cotton washes left still, though I haven't bothered since I went back onto tea, shit really works for cravings.

And I agree about a PPT habit being different from an IV dope habit, getting away from the needle fix and the whole routine of cooking up, registering, getting that 5 second wave of relief.. My veins certainly appreciate the rest, been hitting in places I lost years ago since I started on PPT most the time.

Just got my mad supply of pods so good for well over a year for free in terms of being stable. Really wanna try getting a month of not buying dope under my belt as I work on this nutrition build up for the detox I am planning down the line.

Great job guys, ya know who ya are. I am amazed how people seem to think the physical kick is the easy part, if I could get through that I think I would be golden, nothing scares me more in the world that even day 1 of full WDs...


:heart:


--------------------

"Atrophic interludes weave through my life far too often, for me to fight the biggest enemies"




"Standing on the corner of 5th and Vermouth"



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Offlinetimelapses
Life in free form
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Registered: 01/26/11
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Cowb0yNeal00]
    #23620614 - 09/07/16 02:47 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Hanging in there.



--------------------


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InvisibleModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE
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Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: timelapses]
    #23621086 - 09/07/16 07:59 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Another day clean is another day mean


--------------------
Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?


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