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OfflineTNK
Pleasures of Africa
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #22479911 - 11/05/15 07:59 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

I'm still alive, though not currently using heroin.
Well, not right this minute.

:syringe:


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Edited by TNK (02/22/22 22:22 PM)


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OfflinePatlal
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: larry.fisherman]
    #22480076 - 11/05/15 08:32 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

XLCaps said:
Quote:

IISkuNkII said:
Canada probably



Forbes said that we have the most productive meth heads




Link???


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Offlinesuperbob57
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Patlal]
    #22480107 - 11/05/15 08:40 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

been here awhile off and on the band wagon.


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: superbob57] * 2
    #22484722 - 11/06/15 07:32 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

I've been clean 16 hours, already kinda feel like shit especially considering the last few bags I got were complete garbage, but really not looking forward to the next couple days/weeks/months.  Trying to enjoy being able to sit still while it lasts.  I have some subs.  Don't want to take them but I probably will end up cracking and using them for a quick taper once it gets real bad, but I just can't do this anymore.

:feelingblue:

Wish me luck.


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Offlinepersonergos
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #22484775 - 11/06/15 07:50 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

day 7 without any dope over here! and I've got a good feeling about it this time!! I say that everytime I've tried to quit but idk. this is the longest I've gone without any type of opiate/oid in about 2 years.

Feels good.

Now I'm just waiting for these damn chills to go away. They're pretty annoying.


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: personergos]
    #22484820 - 11/06/15 08:06 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

After weeks and weeks eventually I get to the point where the chills feel kinda good, but that is usually one of the longest lasting effects.  Eventually it loses it's bite and just becomes a little rush of exhilaration.  Nice work man.  Being clean is much better, keep it up.  It's worth it to be free.


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Offlineegodeathflux
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Cowb0yNeal00]
    #22484850 - 11/06/15 08:13 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Right here, bub. Yay for heroin, best decision I ever made..

:cheers: :banana: :suicide:


--------------------

"Atrophic interludes weave through my life far too often, for me to fight the biggest enemies"




"Standing on the corner of 5th and Vermouth"



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Offlinepersonergos
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #22484885 - 11/06/15 08:28 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

moonrockmushy said:
After weeks and weeks eventually I get to the point where the chills feel kinda good, but that is usually one of the longest lasting effects.  Eventually it loses it's bite and just becomes a little rush of exhilaration.  Nice work man.  Being clean is much better, keep it up.  It's worth it to be free.




yea they aren't terrible, especially compared to the other symptoms, just a little annoying.
Thanks man. definitely don't wanna end up back where I was. feeling super optimistic about the whole thing now but I know it's not gonna be easy, even with the worst of the wds done.


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OfflineCrystal G
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #22485096 - 11/06/15 09:26 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

moonrockmushy said:
I've been clean 16 hours, already kinda feel like shit especially considering the last few bags I got were complete garbage, but really not looking forward to the next couple days/weeks/months.  Trying to enjoy being able to sit still while it lasts.  I have some subs.  Don't want to take them but I probably will end up cracking and using them for a quick taper once it gets real bad, but I just can't do this anymore.

:feelingblue:

Wish me luck.




Shit! Clean 16 hours, you have way more willpower than I do. I could never make it past 6 hours and would start freaking the fuck out whenever I'd start getting sick. (This was before I found PCP by the way).

I finally started my REAL taper last night, after shooting my subs for months I have no more veins left. Give it a rest.


Edited by Crystal G (11/07/15 11:14 PM)


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InvisibleAdden
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Posts: 39,201
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #22485140 - 11/06/15 09:37 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

moonrockmushy said:
I've been clean 16 hours, already kinda feel like shit especially considering the last few bags I got were complete garbage, but really not looking forward to the next couple days/weeks/months.  Trying to enjoy being able to sit still while it lasts.  I have some subs.  Don't want to take them but I probably will end up cracking and using them for a quick taper once it gets real bad, but I just can't do this anymore.

:feelingblue:

Wish me luck.





You got this.


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Adden] * 1
    #22485146 - 11/06/15 09:38 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

up with hope, down with dope :dancer:


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To define is to confine.


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Crystal G]
    #22485165 - 11/06/15 09:44 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Honestly it's weird cuz even though I'm much more physically sick than I would be after not taking subs for 16 hours, so far the anxiety doesn't seem as bad.  I've only been doing dope for maybe a 6 weeks or so now, with a couple of those weeks early on spent on subs, but before I relapsed I had been on like 2mg/day for over a year. 

I keep hoping that because I switched drugs in just the right way, or because the dope I've been doing the past couple days was really weak, or because of some unforseen miracle it won't get that much worse, but that is for sure just wishful thinking.  Another 24 hours and I will be in agony I think.  I don't know if I should give the 3 8mg subs to someone to hold onto, or just throw them out cuz I don't think that doing a 3 day to a week taper will really make much of a difference after years and years. 

Luckily I don't have any obligations except for one online class.  I just finished a job training program and somehow made a good impression on employers who have been calling me, but I have to make excuses not to meet them since I don't think I can maintain my habit and do well at my career.  I'm worried that by the time I get clean it will be too late to call them back for an interview, but I guess it's going to have to wait.


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OfflineTheMovement
faeirie princess in training
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: personergos]
    #22485245 - 11/06/15 10:03 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Tho whims the the day without booze. This shit sucks.


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InvisibleAdden
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: TheMovement]
    #22488630 - 11/06/15 10:22 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

I thought about them today. I had to refill my medications and it crossed my mind briefly. Just reminded myself it's pointless to think of it and I've got more shit to deal with.

I had a therapy appointment today and some homeless girl outside needed a ride somewhere because she was sick. Looked like she would've been the most beautiful girl in the world. Such a shame. She was dope sick and I saw it a mile away. Sweating in 45 degrees with a cold wind, shaky, looked like she was about to puke. I wanted to help, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. It broke my heart so I bought some groceries and brought them to some homeless in the park. I'm trying to be a better person but I just can't get her out of my mind. When she got back over to her ghettoed out boyfriend he started yelling how it's her fault she's where she is and I just left fuck it.


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Adden]
    #22489632 - 11/07/15 08:45 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Failure I am like never before.  I took 6mg of sub 24h after my last shot, and I was fairly sick, but I guess my habit is more out of control than I imagined, and I quickly went into awful precipitated withdrawals from the suboxone.  I went and copped this morning and now still feel like shit, because I am a weak and shitty person, but no longer in agonizing withdrawal.  Fuckfuckfuck. 

I don't even know what to do it seems like I've run my course in terms of Suboxone, which should be a lesson to anyone who is as dumb as me and thinks that chipping on bupe is managable in the long terms.  It worked for me at first, but I abused it and despite it being a strong opiate it makes me extremely sick.

My poor mother deserves so much better, especially since I barely make it a day before I'm starting to lie.  They thought I was on a low dose of suboxone for the past months while I finish up school, but since my Dr. booted me I did most everything I said I wouldn't to make sure that I remain useless and unhappy.  I hate the concerned look that my parents often give me, and the endless nagging questions, but I deserve so much worse.

I don't think there's anything that anyone could say right now to make me feel better, but I figured I would notify on the chance someone was enough of a sucker to root for me that their well wishes are misplaced.  I guess I've got to try again, but I'm, having a hard time putting a positive spin on this.  Can't even get high because the sub is blocking as well as making me sick :rolleyes: least I will be able to get a few things done before I turn back to a tortured and weak mound of quivering discomfort.


Edited by moonrockmushy (11/07/15 08:52 AM)


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InvisibleRustifer
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #22489678 - 11/07/15 09:00 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

I'm getting sick too, gotta wait until tonight to start taking subs.

It's such a hard, hard life we have chosen for ourselves.

I really hope running off to a new city will keep me off of this shit for at least a while. I'm at the end of my rope. I can't believe the things I did the past few days since I left rehab to get high. I hope I can put all this behind me someday, but it seems like this could last us all a lifetime.


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OfflineCrystal G
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #22489687 - 11/07/15 09:02 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

moonrockmushy said:
Failure I am like never before.  I took 6mg of sub 24h after my last shot, and I was fairly sick, but I guess my habit is more out of control than I imagined, and I quickly went into awful precipitated withdrawals from the suboxone.  I went and copped this morning and now still feel like shit, because I am a weak and shitty person, but no longer in agonizing withdrawal.  Fuckfuckfuck. 

I don't even know what to do it seems like I've run my course in terms of Suboxone, which should be a lesson to anyone who is as dumb as me and thinks that chipping on bupe is managable in the long terms.  It worked for me at first, but I abused it and despite it being a strong opiate it makes me extremely sick.

My poor mother deserves so much better, especially since I barely make it a day before I'm starting to lie.  They thought I was on a low dose of suboxone for the past months while I finish up school, but since my Dr. booted me I did most everything I said I wouldn't to make sure that I remain useless and unhappy.  I hate the concerned look that my parents often give me, and the endless nagging questions, but I deserve so much worse.

I don't think there's anything that anyone could say right now to make me feel better, but I figured I would notify on the chance someone was enough of a sucker to root for me that their well wishes are misplaced.  I guess I've got to try again, but I'm, having a hard time putting a positive spin on this.  Can't even get high because the sub is blocking as well as making me sick :rolleyes: least I will be able to get a few things done before I turn back to a tortured and weak mound of quivering discomfort.




Seriously, why don't you find a Sub doctor and ask for generic buprenorphine? You can get like 90 8mg pills for less than $200, which would last you 3 months. Just tell the doctor that you take the 8mg 3 times a day or something.


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Crystal G]
    #22490290 - 11/07/15 11:11 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Because I'm almost sure I will get precipitated withdrawals off of them as well.  Subs are great until one day you go to switch back onto them and realize that they no longer hold you.  At first you feel great switching onto them, then it gets kinda hard, and eventually if you keep at it you can put yourself in hell worse than cold turkey kicks.  That's scary.  It will happen to you as well eventually if you aren't careful.  I used to wonder why anyone would get on methadone when suboxone was available, but that was when I didn't know how bad things got, and how bupe can turn on you when you need it most. 

I mean if I have to wait over 72 hours to be able to take a sub and not even have it work well, I feel like I might as well just bite the bullet and go c/t.  That's so easy to say now of course, at 72h I'm sure I will take whatever I can, but I'm pretty sure getting back on subs will just prolong my agony at this point, and keep me hooked.  My logic this morning was I would just knock out these precipitated withdrawals, which were starting to subside but still really bad, and just kick the old fashioned way without subs.  Some people say that is smoother once you get to where you can't use bupe anymore.  PWDs are bad news.

Seriously guys, stay low on that shit and don't relapse.  It's not a miracle drug, and the potential for suboxone to make an addiction much worse is very real.  It's not like you wake up one day and realize that "hey this is becoming unmanagable, I should reign it in", it's gonna happen when you think that you've got it all planned and under control.  Suddenly they not only don't help, they make you feel worse than ever.

Good luck Rustifier.  How long you plan on waiting before you switch over?  You got a taper planned or just trying to wing it?  Sometimes I think the geographical cure does work.  It won't keep you clean, and it can be a disaster if you're too sick to function, but sometimes withdrawal isn't even that bad if you're occupied and engaged.


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InvisibleZombi3
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #22490313 - 11/07/15 11:17 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Marijuana addict here, still alive.


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InvisibleRustifer
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #22490355 - 11/07/15 11:25 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

I probably still have bup in my blood, so I'm not really worried about PWDs, I'm just going to wait until the 24 hour mark and start microdosing, then wing it. I got a couple weeks to fuck off while I kick, which shouldn't be that bad because I have been in and out of detox and had like 13 days clean in rehab before I relapsed for a few days.

Geographical changed helped me a lot last year, got the longest time off opiates I've had since this all started 11 years ago. Like 8 months. Then I got my ass beat in a bar fight after drinking for 13 hours, and scored a few grams. Then 2 months later 2 of my closest friends ODed back to back, and I relapsed hard in response to that and got on methadone for 6 months. Been off it for 2 months of crazy relapses. It's been nuts.

Was on subs for a year and a half back around 2011. Before that, I could manage for long periods of time, since then, the game's changed. I've been willing to do whatever it takes to stay high. And I fuck things off in a matter of weeks instead of months to years. It's like it concreted me being a junkie for life.


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