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kakashi68
Connoiseur of Illicit Substances


Registered: 11/25/11
Posts: 2,116
Loc: STRAYA
Last seen: 10 days, 6 hours
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Quote:
moonrockmushy said:
Quote:
Moonshoe said: Your not really too interested in it huh?
Never heard of someone resorting to suicide because he was "not too interested" in trying the alternative that could save his life, but hey man, its your ride. ....
You clearly don't understand the later stages of addiction and depression suicide ideation sorta comes with the territory.
For me the relief was never quite enough. I mean it was good sometimes, but not 100% reliable and the more I did the more I was left feeling unsatisfied. Honestly I'm so much happier and more satisfied today then I was last month shooting grams and hoping I would die I still get the occasional chill, lots of yawns and sneezes, and next to no sleep, but overall life is good.
At that point it stops being about euphoria and the best you can get is feeling nothing. When I would do shots that would floor me I don't even remember getting a great rush, I just remember slowly going to the ground in the better cases, and falling down knocking tons of shit over and banging myself up most of the time. It was like nothingness tho, not ultimate euphoria.
I had a couple classmates that would always gimme funny looks in school because I was caught nodding out in ridiculous places. One time I just nodded out in the parking lot standing next to my car would always happen in class too but at least then I could just be like "yeah I'm bored" but it's hard to explain nodding out standing by your car door with keys in hand 
If I can do it you can Apostle. You can get a new job if you need to, but perhaps it would be better to hit a detox or something first if you're having trouble stopping on your own. I never would have been able to do it without getting help and making it hard for myself to relapse. If you have family who are close I think it is only fair to let them know what you are going through as honestly as possible, as hard as that is it is better for you and them than the alternative. People who care about you deserve a chance to help, and you deserve the chance to be helped. At least give it a go before you off yourself.
Ive never noded in front of people I guess. I dont go out that much but if I do I have my standard dose which give my good rush and keeps me going for hours but doesnt make me nod.
-------------------- You know, just sometimes in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that 400th glass of cornershop piss at 3am--you do sometimes look at yourself and think--this is fantastic. I'm in heaven. -Bernard Black
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite



Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: kakashi68]
#22736065 - 01/04/16 02:56 PM (8 years, 27 days ago) |
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Yeah I was like that for a while, I don't nod out easily myself, but there was this batch of dope around then that I think was probably cut with fentanyl that was crazy strong and it had me acting like an ass. There wouldn't even be a great rush, but .15 would have me struggling to stay awake and off the floor, which is scary because most people I know shoot a whole .3 bag minimum. Sometimes I do more than that myself. Guess I'm just lucky I was broke and trying to conserve. It's funny tho I was sad to see it go too.
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kakashi68
Connoiseur of Illicit Substances


Registered: 11/25/11
Posts: 2,116
Loc: STRAYA
Last seen: 10 days, 6 hours
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strange that I miss that toxic feeling you get when you first started. When you take to much, nod for AGGGGEES then for the rest of the day you have awful splitting headache combined with puking. Still get it a bit when tolly is low. But that strange sickish nauseous always see to add to high and now ill only feel with the low tolly
-------------------- You know, just sometimes in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that 400th glass of cornershop piss at 3am--you do sometimes look at yourself and think--this is fantastic. I'm in heaven. -Bernard Black
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite



Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: kakashi68]
#22736426 - 01/04/16 04:40 PM (8 years, 27 days ago) |
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Yeah the puking never really stopped for me, but the headaches went away. I do not miss the headaches one bit, the puking I didn't really mind for some reason it wasn't unpleasant.
Really these days I feel like shit no matter what, so I'm pretty much just in it for the rush, which is of course impossible to maintain. You can never be stable you have to force yourself to get sick, then even if I get a rush it is like the sickness clings to my bones so I can't fully enjoy it and I don't feel well for a couple hours. It's all a big disappointment.
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MrSpadoodles
Law Abiding Citizen




Registered: 11/27/15
Posts: 528
Loc: The Shroomery
Last seen: 2 years, 7 months
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welp, glad I'm staying away from opiates
-------------------- The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves. - Allan Watts Looking for a P. Galindoi ATL#7 spore print/syringe. PM me to trade
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kakashi68
Connoiseur of Illicit Substances


Registered: 11/25/11
Posts: 2,116
Loc: STRAYA
Last seen: 10 days, 6 hours
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I think I slept on the couch last night.... i had 10mg lorazapam? Is that bad only use it couple times a year or so. I woked up rested but still sick and no sighs of the ambium walrus' doings.
But then I got my dose. Another week in bliss Iggnorance is bliss, plis but me in the matrix.
-------------------- You know, just sometimes in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that 400th glass of cornershop piss at 3am--you do sometimes look at yourself and think--this is fantastic. I'm in heaven. -Bernard Black
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TNK
Pleasures of Africa



Registered: 01/30/10
Posts: 14,237
Loc: I AM THUNDERBOT
Last seen: 1 month, 18 days
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: kakashi68]
#22738005 - 01/05/16 12:18 AM (8 years, 26 days ago) |
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I just went through a week and a half long heroin binge. it was magical.. until i had to stop. drugs are so crazy
-------------------- Edited by TNK (02/22/22 22:22 PM)
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Cowb0yNeal00



Registered: 06/05/13
Posts: 11,059
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: TNK] 2
#22738008 - 01/05/16 12:19 AM (8 years, 26 days ago) |
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ya right nature kid half ur posts are a lies
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Acaterpillar
A little mad...



Registered: 06/09/07
Posts: 18,693
Loc: Down the rabbit hole
Last seen: 3 months, 27 days
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Been off heroin for about two years now. Been off etizolam for a little over a year. It gets easier every day, don't think I'll ever look back.
Recently was hanging out with this chick I was trying to bang and quickly realized she was a junky. She was talking about getting clean so I gave her some kratom and told her how well it worked for me. She called me the next day asking if I could help her score
-------------------- Aaa...E I O Uuu...A E I O Uuu..A E I O uh Uuu.. *Cough* *Cough* Ooo...U E I O Aaa...U E I Aaa..A E I O Uuuuu... At first sight, The Perfection of Wisdom is bewildering, full of paradox and apparent irrationality.
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TNK
Pleasures of Africa



Registered: 01/30/10
Posts: 14,237
Loc: I AM THUNDERBOT
Last seen: 1 month, 18 days
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Quote:
Cowb0yNeal00 said: ya right nature kid half ur posts are a lies
what does that even mean bro?
-------------------- Edited by TNK (02/22/22 22:22 PM)
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Cowb0yNeal00



Registered: 06/05/13
Posts: 11,059
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: TNK]
#22738073 - 01/05/16 01:00 AM (8 years, 26 days ago) |
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it memes ur full of poop
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TNK
Pleasures of Africa



Registered: 01/30/10
Posts: 14,237
Loc: I AM THUNDERBOT
Last seen: 1 month, 18 days
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What exactly do you think I'm am lying about or fabricating?
-------------------- Edited by TNK (02/22/22 22:22 PM)
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Rustifer
prestige worldwide


Registered: 04/10/05
Posts: 7,071
Loc: Central Texas
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don't even acknowledge that shit bro it's just another one of his 3076 shitposts.
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Rocket

Registered: 03/06/10
Posts: 3,653
Loc: Land of the Freaks
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Rustifer]
#22738086 - 01/05/16 01:05 AM (8 years, 26 days ago) |
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Cowb0yNeal00



Registered: 06/05/13
Posts: 11,059
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Rocket]
#22738099 - 01/05/16 01:11 AM (8 years, 26 days ago) |
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TNK
Pleasures of Africa



Registered: 01/30/10
Posts: 14,237
Loc: I AM THUNDERBOT
Last seen: 1 month, 18 days
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You're dumb.
-------------------- Edited by TNK (02/22/22 22:22 PM)
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Cowb0yNeal00



Registered: 06/05/13
Posts: 11,059
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: TNK]
#22738108 - 01/05/16 01:13 AM (8 years, 26 days ago) |
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your crazy
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Rustifer
prestige worldwide


Registered: 04/10/05
Posts: 7,071
Loc: Central Texas
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you misuse that grem every time you pull it out neal.
it's like the 3rd time to bust it out on me. you do realize that in order for me to still be under age, i would have had to reg my account when I was like 7 years old?
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Cowb0yNeal00



Registered: 06/05/13
Posts: 11,059
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Rustifer]
#22738123 - 01/05/16 01:18 AM (8 years, 26 days ago) |
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yup
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Adden

Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 39,201
Loc:
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Rustifer]
#22738124 - 01/05/16 01:18 AM (8 years, 26 days ago) |
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