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Offlineamilibertine
It’s good to be back!
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Registered: 06/10/09
Posts: 3,241
Loc: Northern South Midwest
Last seen: 4 months, 23 days
Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: mistachow]
    #22719730 - 12/31/15 05:13 AM (8 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

mistachow said:
and lastly, if heroin isnt wonderful, why do people do it more then once?




Because it is a psychologically and physically addictive drug.  That would seem obvious.  Most people have an opiate problem before they get on heroin.  Less common is someone that just wants to try heroin.  Most people would consider this a very stupid thing to do, especially now with this awful epidemic sweeping the country. 

In my city there is NO ONE that hasn't been effected by this bullshit.  People are dying everyday.

I have zero respect for a substance that tries to kill me and the people I love.  Heroin is bullshit. If you think it's wonderful you'll be back to using soon most likely.  Wish you the best though.  Have "fun".


--------------------





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OfflineMrSpadoodles
Law Abiding Citizen
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Registered: 11/27/15
Posts: 528
Loc: The Shroomery
Last seen: 2 years, 7 months
Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: amilibertine]
    #22720628 - 12/31/15 11:07 AM (8 years, 1 month ago)

interesting how the government has fed so many people bullshit..
I used to think ALL drugs turn you into some addict who steals from fakily and friends and does whatever he can to support his addiction and will turn dumb/deformed or whatever..
then I found out the vast majority aren't anything like that.
but heroin definitely firts the stereotype.
if the government would change its drug education to not group the harmless drugs like cannabis and psychedelics with hard drugs like meth and heroin then people would probably have believed them more and wouldn't be in the mess they're in now with those substances. smh


--------------------
The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves.
- Allan Watts


Looking for a P. Galindoi ATL#7 spore print/syringe. PM me to trade :pm:



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InvisibleRustifer
prestige worldwide
Male

Registered: 04/10/05
Posts: 7,071
Loc: Central Texas
Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: MrSpadoodles]
    #22720735 - 12/31/15 11:31 AM (8 years, 1 month ago)

:underage:


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InvisibleAdden
I'm a teapot
Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 39,201
Loc: Flag
Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Rustifer] * 1
    #22721055 - 12/31/15 12:48 PM (8 years, 1 month ago)

I dreamt last night that I was trying to walk up a hill at my old elementary school and my back started to give out. I reached in my pocket for a painkiller and when the capsule dissolved I had a mouth full of mushrooms and dream-tripped balls.

77 days.


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
High on Spite
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Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Adden] * 1
    #22721077 - 12/31/15 12:57 PM (8 years, 1 month ago)

I'm still struggling with a bit of lethargy, but it's amazing how much better I feel after only 24 days.  Other than feeling tired and weak, bored as fuck, and a bit depressed I have no major complaints.  Haven't even had nightmares or dreams where I try unsuccessfully to get high.  Actually haven't smoked tobacco in over a day now and I didn't even try to quit, I just figure I'm not having any fun anyway, why do myself the harm?

I still wake up every morning thinking "what am I going to do to fix this shitty feeling?" but my mind doesn't start thinking about getting high necessarily.  I'm just so used to having an easy answer to having to get up and face the day, or being tired at the end of the day.  The second I yawn, feel drained, or have a sneezing fit I automatically think it must be time to dose.


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InvisibleRustifer
prestige worldwide
Male

Registered: 04/10/05
Posts: 7,071
Loc: Central Texas
Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: moonrockmushy] * 1
    #22721163 - 12/31/15 01:26 PM (8 years, 1 month ago)

Damn, already 24 days? It's funny how the time flies when it's not happening to you. I'm on day.... 57 or so? The third will be 2 months. Other than a weird dream where I had a bottle of 90 norco and I was shoving them all one by one up my ass, I haven't had any using dreams since that last one I told you guys about. I dunno what was going on in my head that night.


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InvisibleAdden
I'm a teapot
Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 39,201
Loc: Flag
Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: moonrockmushy] * 1
    #22721206 - 12/31/15 01:39 PM (8 years, 1 month ago)

It's easy to say and hard to do but that lethargy and idle hands will be the death of you if you don't power through it. For me it was harder to just get up and get out, but getting some good exercise in and pushing myself past exhaustion helped, then just kept going. If it wasn't for hiking, jogging, and mushroom hunting I'd have gone mad. I'm still trying to find things to keep me busy. Not having a way to score - I mean I guess I could there's heroin addicts all over the city - has been proven to be helpful. When I drive by parks or around the city & see these homeless dopesick addicts, it paints a good picture of who I never want to be. It's a good reminder of where I could end up. No thank you :thumbdown:

I'm proud of you both. You've both made it this far, and why bother having to do it all over again. If you've put in the physical and mental work and energy already, it's going to suck doing it again.

You guys know the deal.. but it is nice to see others who are succeeding and it gives me a lot of hope.

It's my first sober new years since before the car wreck. Seems like yesterday but also forever ago.


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Adden] * 1
    #22721255 - 12/31/15 01:52 PM (8 years, 1 month ago)

I've been jogging a couple miles every day for the past couple days, plus shoveling snow and walking on top of that.  I think part of the reason I'm so lazy is I've been smoking weed nonstop since I found out I can actually get high again.  That's hopefully going to stop along with the alcohol after today.

I couldn't have got clean if I didn't delete all my numbers and give all my bank cards to family to hang on to for me.  A few days after I deleted those numbers I was trying all this shit to recover them off my phone, but luckily I couldn't get it before I gave up :guiltyascharged: 

Now I've come too far tho, I at least need to get my life in order before I even think about using opiates again.  I still have a hard time telling myself never again for some reason.


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OfflineApostle
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Registered: 12/12/09
Posts: 31,501
Loc: FL Flag
Last seen: 1 year, 23 days
Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #22727220 - 01/02/16 09:10 AM (8 years, 29 days ago)

Im fucking sickkkkkkkkkkk


i am blowing paychecks to feel like total shit most of the time.


trying to stretch it out so i am well enough to work and then repeat the cycle.


Gonna try to kick this week. shits crazy how fast you start getting sick. my bones hurt and the depression is off the charts.


I knew this was the price though so its all good.


As always,

Good luck out there Guys.


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Posts: 19,067
Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Apostle]
    #22727301 - 01/02/16 09:39 AM (8 years, 29 days ago)

I gotta say being clean ain't half bad.  On top of being sick heroin takes alot from you and gives just the illusion of satisfaction in return.  Hope you can figure out what you need to do to make it work.  Dig deep and don't give up!


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InvisibleCowb0yNeal00
Other


Registered: 06/05/13
Posts: 11,059
Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #22727314 - 01/02/16 09:41 AM (8 years, 29 days ago)

:smile:


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Offlinekakashi68
Connoiseur of Illicit Substances
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Registered: 11/25/11
Posts: 2,116
Loc: STRAYA Flag
Last seen: 10 days, 3 hours
Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Cowb0yNeal00]
    #22734453 - 01/04/16 02:44 AM (8 years, 27 days ago)

:likeaboss:Omg found some lorazapam. SWEET FUCKING RELIEF. I MIGHT BE ABLE TO SLEEP TONIGHT


--------------------
You know, just sometimes in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that 400th glass of cornershop piss at 3am--you do sometimes look at yourself and think--this is fantastic. I'm in heaven.
-Bernard Black



Edited by kakashi68 (01/04/16 02:45 AM)


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OfflineApostle
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Registered: 12/12/09
Posts: 31,501
Loc: FL Flag
Last seen: 1 year, 23 days
Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #22735222 - 01/04/16 09:58 AM (8 years, 27 days ago)

Quote:

moonrockmushy said:
I gotta say being clean ain't half bad.  On top of being sick heroin takes alot from you and gives just the illusion of satisfaction in return.  Hope you can figure out what you need to do to make it work.  Dig deep and don't give up!



The relief it provides is very real but ultimately not worth it.


just shot like a quarter gram and i feel pretty nice.


Kicking after today. Im done with this shit, hopepfully for good.

Got benzos and 3meopcp for the withdrawls, that should get me through. and weed as well.


Never done 3meo but if its anything like mxe ill appreciate the relief because mxe obliterated all of my withdrawl symptoms back when i had a decent habit.



Hang in there Moonrock, i can assure you things arent any fun on this side of the fence and im sure you know this from experience as well.


PRetty sure im getting fired from nodding out at work(literally fell asleep mid sentence while standing, thats how much dope id done) so my life is about to get even shittier.

IF i do get fired i may just use my last check to Overdose. im tired of life.

:cookiemonster:


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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Apostle]
    #22735412 - 01/04/16 10:53 AM (8 years, 27 days ago)

Why not try claiming narcolepsy?


--------------------


Everything I post is fiction.


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OfflineApostle
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Registered: 12/12/09
Posts: 31,501
Loc: FL Flag
Last seen: 1 year, 23 days
Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Moonshoe]
    #22735518 - 01/04/16 11:25 AM (8 years, 27 days ago)

They have a legit condition

Im just a fucking asshole


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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Apostle]
    #22735579 - 01/04/16 11:41 AM (8 years, 27 days ago)

Yeah I know they have a legit condition, I am asking why you don't pretend you do as well to potentially save your job and by your account also your life?

Before you try suicide try ibogaine.


--------------------


Everything I post is fiction.


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OfflineApostle
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Posts: 31,501
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Last seen: 1 year, 23 days
Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Moonshoe]
    #22735598 - 01/04/16 11:47 AM (8 years, 27 days ago)

It'd be an insult to my boss's intelligence who i respect and had been warned by not to show up in such a state as he knows my history.



Im not really too interested in ibogaine.


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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Apostle]
    #22735628 - 01/04/16 11:54 AM (8 years, 27 days ago)

Your not really too interested in it huh?

Never heard of someone resorting to suicide because he was "not too interested" in trying the alternative that could save his life, but hey man, its your ride.

Hope you decide to stick around as I believe in almost any circumstance suicide just lands you in a worse place then what you were trying to escape from.

(exceptions being if you are already dying of a lethal and painful illness or are about to face a far more painful and inescapable death)

For example if I was dying an agonizing death from cancer or if I was trapped in a burning house I would "commit suicide" but really that would just be choosing a more painless death when life was already no longer an option.

But when people choose suicide as a way to escape their karmic debts or the consequences of their mistakes I do believe that just exponentially magnifies the bad karma and karmic debts that will need to be pain in future lives, after lives or bardo states.

Sorry your having a rough road man. Not being interested in ibogaine doesnt seem like a good reason to intentionally overdose when your salvation might be awaiting you in an iboga clinic or, worst comes to worst you can even get it in on the clearweb.

If you only have one last chance, you might as well take it.


--------------------


Everything I post is fiction.


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OfflineApostle
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Registered: 12/12/09
Posts: 31,501
Loc: FL Flag
Last seen: 1 year, 23 days
Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Moonshoe]
    #22735692 - 01/04/16 12:14 PM (8 years, 27 days ago)

No, im just not interested in it, all suicide aside.


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Moonshoe]
    #22735932 - 01/04/16 02:02 PM (8 years, 27 days ago)

Quote:

Moonshoe said:
Your not really too interested in it huh?

Never heard of someone resorting to suicide because he was "not too interested" in trying the alternative that could save his life, but hey man, its your ride.
....




You clearly don't understand the later stages of addiction and depression :smirk: suicide ideation sorta comes with the territory.

For me the relief was never quite enough.  I mean it was good sometimes, but not 100% reliable and the more I did the more I was left feeling unsatisfied.  Honestly I'm so much happier and more satisfied today then I was last month shooting grams and hoping I would die :tongue: I still get the occasional chill, lots of yawns and sneezes, and next to no sleep, but overall life is good.

At that point it stops being about euphoria and the best you can get is feeling nothing.  When I would do shots that would floor me I don't even remember getting a great rush, I just remember slowly going to the ground in the better cases, and falling down knocking tons of shit over and banging myself up most of the time.  It was like nothingness tho, not ultimate euphoria.

I had a couple classmates that would always gimme funny looks in school because I was caught nodding out in ridiculous places.  One time I just nodded out in the parking lot standing next to my car :facepalm: would always happen in class too but at least then I could just be like "yeah I'm bored" but it's hard to explain nodding out standing by your car door with keys in hand :lol:

If I can do it you can Apostle.  You can get a new job if you need to, but perhaps it would be better to hit a detox or something first if you're having trouble stopping on your own.  I never would have been able to do it without getting help and making it hard for myself to relapse.  If you have family who are close I think it is only fair to let them know what you are going through as honestly as possible, as hard as that is it is better for you and them than the alternative.  People who care about you deserve a chance to help, and you deserve the chance to be helped.  At least give it a go before you off yourself.


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