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Rustifer
prestige worldwide


Registered: 04/10/05
Posts: 7,071
Loc: Central Texas
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Apostle]
#22593512 - 11/30/15 06:33 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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dope addiction is suicide for passive people.
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Apostle
Philanthropist


Registered: 12/12/09
Posts: 31,501
Loc: FL
Last seen: 1 year, 23 days
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Rustifer]
#22593547 - 11/30/15 06:51 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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But im super aggressive...
I guess that means im gonna live forever.
Sound logic right?
Right.
Woooooooooooooooooohooooooo

Afterall ...
only
the
good
Die
Young
I wanna be forever young
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite



Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Apostle]
#22593951 - 11/30/15 09:47 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Apostle said: Theyre especially useful for IV users in terms of harm reduction.
A close friend of mine was given 3 years to five as his projected time left on earth due to advanced hep c and a heart infection.
Sometimes i feel like my heart is gonna give out sometime soon and i know that ive injected shit tons of drugs not to mention physical debris from cut and carpet surfing then shooting what i find. I imagine my arteries are hella clogged with shit. Also i shot morphine ers the kind that gelled up for a little bit and someone posted a study here about how that gunk builds up in the tiny veins in the brain and causes stroke.
Also i just shot up some suboxone film which has methylcelulose which i read is very bad to inject which i believe because its very viscous.
Nevermind the rcs that physically hurt to inject but i continued to abuse anyway.
So yea i think bupe and methadone save the body and user alot of harm. Unless you inject them like my dumbass. Thats where methadone clinics have the advantage which is distributing the meds daily n watching you take it. Buttt eventually u get take homes and i know those get shot up as well despite it being an oral solution which isnt designed for iv usage. ....

I shot a couple OP 80s that I managed to cook into a jelly syrup like concoction a while back when I was even more desperate and stupid. I'm kinda surprised I didn't croak right then and there really don't like thinking about stuff like that.
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Rustifer
prestige worldwide


Registered: 04/10/05
Posts: 7,071
Loc: Central Texas
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The tramadol didn't really set me back much if any.
I'm pretty motivated about getting a job right now. I applied at 5 places, for halfway decent positions (12-15/hr) If none of these call me back by the end of the week, I'm going to just go to a restaurant up the road and get something temporary so I can stash enough for a down payment on a car and a payment or two, and drop 150 bucks on some fake job references and snag me a good job in a few months. Been sitting on my ass for a month almost now, shit's gotta change.
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Apostle
Philanthropist


Registered: 12/12/09
Posts: 31,501
Loc: FL
Last seen: 1 year, 23 days
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Rustifer]
#22594225 - 11/30/15 11:21 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Good shit broseph!
Im heading down towards miami . Not really but in that direction and most ppl dnt know bout hollywood So i say miami. Its heroin central but i think ill buy weed before i go so im not tempted.
I feel fucking good today!
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Adden

Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 39,201
Loc:
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Adden] 1
#22594300 - 11/30/15 11:41 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Dys said:
Quote:
Cowb0yNeal00 said: Seems like there used to be a lot more herion and opioid addicts on here. Where yall at? Please dont say dead.
20 days sober is where I'm at.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
46
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Moonshoe
Blue Mantis


Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Apostle]
#22594496 - 11/30/15 12:26 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Thanks brother hope things get better for you
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Everything I post is fiction.
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birdeatingspider
Stranger in Paradise



Registered: 12/18/14
Posts: 2,993
Loc: so many roads
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Moonshoe]
#22594838 - 11/30/15 01:59 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Some of these posts are almost straight from the memoirs of my life.
it is comforting to hear some of you, despite never thinking this would be life, to still be dreaming and goal setting.. that indicates yall are on the upswing from the hopeless despair and the pit of frustration I find myself in, as I have before.
I'm so hard on myself and miss the person I was, wish I could start over or go back and do it all differently. I'm about to be 29 and I feel life is over/ruined.
Months ago I was alcohol and drug binging, cycling between hard liq and MXE and heroin. I have a shrine in my room of all the loved ones I've lost to that junk, and was walking around autopilot existing feeling disgusted with myself.
I now strictly abuse kratom, and am diseased enough to see it as a step in the right direction, lesser of other evils. I ran out the other night, was driving home from work and had sudden urge to puke. Was slowing down and didn't have time so tried to hold myself out the window of my moving car, stalling it in process. not only did I get it all over myself, I had the drive of shame pulling in the driveway with that nasty green vomit all over my car door, inside and out. I wish I could say that was the sole time i had to pull over and yak, or threw up all over myself rushing to find something to hurl into. back to being disgusted, its a vicious cycle. and i really dont see escape let alone a future for myself like i used to when young.
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From all I may be, or have been before, To mingle with the Universe, and feel What I can ne’er express, yet cannot all conceal.
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Moonshoe
Blue Mantis


Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
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That's just it buddy being addicted to Kratom instead of dope or booze is a huge step in the right direction.
You can start improving your life with the Kratom to stabilize you.
With Kratom keeping me well I work out, excel at my job, build my savings , and generally improve my life .
The more together my life is the less I feel the need for drugs to improve my mood.
I hope it helps you as much as it has me !
Be as addicted to Kratom as you want at least you won't die of an overdose or get a blood borne illness or collapsed veins .
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Everything I post is fiction.
Edited by Moonshoe (11/30/15 02:25 PM)
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birdeatingspider
Stranger in Paradise



Registered: 12/18/14
Posts: 2,993
Loc: so many roads
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I went to one meeting. was really excited because they claim they aren't 12 step and look to enforce responsible use as opposed to total abstinence.
but the facilitator made it abundantly clear that anyone serious about recovery can't use, and that it wouldn't be tolerated. on the way out she gave me a pamphlet rehab advertisement and it rubbed me the wrong way so I never went back. Just another institution condemning drugs IMO.
(edit). don't let my experience sway you to trying SMART, it was hands down better than AA/NA.. Starting to think I'm just antisocial.
Edited by birdeatingspider (11/30/15 02:27 PM)
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birdeatingspider
Stranger in Paradise



Registered: 12/18/14
Posts: 2,993
Loc: so many roads
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The thing is Moonshoe I ran out and have been cold turkey for a few days and in that time my thoughts immediately went self destructive. I even reached out last night to my old friend/H hookup and was looking to score and HE was the one who asked if that was what I really wanted to do given what happened last time I relapsed at his place and woke up with my one eye stuck looking outwards. Had to think long and hard before telling him forget I asked, but it reinforces the shame that strengthens the dependency, and vice versa.
my package will come tmrw and all will be right with my world
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From all I may be, or have been before, To mingle with the Universe, and feel What I can ne’er express, yet cannot all conceal.
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Moonshoe
Blue Mantis


Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
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That's just it though man- when you stopped taking Kratom you wanted to relapse on dope - therefore you know Kratom is working well to keep you off junk. Just try not To run out.
I am in a similar boat- my only problem with Kratom is running out. I make sure not To do that. I always reorder when I still have plenty left to avoid any delays or issues leading to a shortage.
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Everything I post is fiction.
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite



Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
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Thanks for the info. I really wish there was someplace non judgemental to get support. Everything is either a racket or a cult it seems, which I guess are the same thing in the end.
I'm very frustrated. Life just never lets up. Mb I'll check it out, can't hurt I guess. I just want to crawl into a hole for the winter and sleep then wake up clean :p
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birdeatingspider
Stranger in Paradise



Registered: 12/18/14
Posts: 2,993
Loc: so many roads
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For me Kratom WD is as unbearable as dope. If only I had the self control to break while I had the stuff yet, my only way to reset tolerance is to completely eat my kilo and then order moar.
But the restlessness, muscle aches, neverending runny nose and zapped energy, not being able to sleep is some of the worst I recall from some darker days. Work actually sent me home today, they think I have the flu.
Try out SMART, it works like any program, only upon commitment. My meetup over on this coast is most likely nothing like anything you'll encounter. TBH ranting in here just now made me feel better and I appreciate the support and empathy, that's all we need to spark a lil hope sometimes.
Not trying to come in storm clouding, I'm gonna' go with my pup to build a fire and envy the wood that becomes nothing once burnt, unlike me left to play with fire.
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From all I may be, or have been before, To mingle with the Universe, and feel What I can ne’er express, yet cannot all conceal.
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite



Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
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Yeah I can see how kratom is as bad a kick as dope in the end. Sorta like suboxone. They say it's easier, and in terms of acute physical stuff mb it is, but both suboxone and krat have the antidepressant effect which leads to anxiety and extreme depression which is the biggest obstacle to overcoming cravings and staying clean.
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Moonshoe
Blue Mantis


Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
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I don't believe Kratom withdrawal is anywhere near as bad as other opiates with the exception of people who switch from harder opiates to Kratom then quit Kratom.
The only people who find Kratom withdrawal that bad are people with past Opiate addictions.
After two years of dosing Kratom all day every day and then quitting cold turkey my withrawal was extremely mild compared to people withdrawing from opium, heroin or oxy.
Like not even remotely close.
If I had been taking heroin, morphine, methadone, Suboxone or OxyContin daily for as long as I had been taking Kratom my withdrawal would have been a hundred times worse.
But because I have never used any opiates other then Kratom my withdrawal was unpleasant but not severe.
In fact I was happily climbing in the Swiss alps feeling Good just a few days after going cold turkey.
On a scale of 1-10 with 1 being almost unoticeable And 10 being a living hell, my withdrawal after 2 years of all day were day dosing I Kratom was a 3 Or 4 at worst and after about 5 days I was totally fine.
I think if it had been heroin or opium or oxy it would have been an 8 or 9.
If I had taken any other opiate as often and as Long as I took Kratom and quit cold turkey I would have been in hell.
Instead I actually felt almost totally fine during the day, Just a bit lethargic , and had bad insomnia at night, With maybe 2-3 days of moderate depression and that was it.
Honestly it was no big deal and I was a long term heavy all day every day user .
Also I didn't develop any significant withdrawal until like 18 Months of all day every day dosing. Any other opiate addiction would have set in much faster.
I am certain Kratom withdrawal sets in much slower, lasts much shorter and is far Less Intense Then any other opiate except for people With past history of using harder opiates.
It seems very clear that people with a Past history of opiate use experience Far Worse Kratom Withdraeal then people who have only ever used Kratom.
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Everything I post is fiction.
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Adden

Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 39,201
Loc:
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Moonshoe]
#22597384 - 12/01/15 12:34 AM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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Kratom withdrawal is like Vicodin w/d for me and I had used for years in high quantities for various injuries. Down to 8 capsules a day and my emotions finally settled down. Through the years I've seen people fight weed addiction and even Shroomery addictions.
Taking the final step off them will be nice, but my ulcers don't like ibuprofen, and I still find myself in agony or bedridden sometimes.
Life is so much better though not being a slave to pills, jesus.
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hex_enduction
satta massa gana



Registered: 01/26/14
Posts: 12,051
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Adden]
#22597933 - 12/01/15 07:10 AM (8 years, 1 month ago) |
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Careful with taking kratom if you have ulcers. I'm pretty sure heavy kratom use either exacerbated or caused the ulcer I got earlier this year. I cant even take it right now because I'm having stomach problems again and krtom just wrecks my stomach. Of course ibuprofen is probably even worse.
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Connoisseur said: oh ive cried on drugs sunshine said: Tragic. I told the cop not to do it but he didn't listen.
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite



Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
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Yeah the thought of an open sore in the stomach being coated in that nasty powder doesn't sound too nice.
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hex_enduction
satta massa gana



Registered: 01/26/14
Posts: 12,051
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
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Thinking about it like that makes me feel really regretful about my copious use. Jesus.
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Connoisseur said: oh ive cried on drugs sunshine said: Tragic. I told the cop not to do it but he didn't listen.
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