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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Near Dylan]
    #22589986 - 11/29/15 11:45 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Yeah I feel bad for people who are hooked who are married and/or especially those with kids.  It's hard enough without having to worry about keeping food on the table and providing emotional support for a young'n.  It's the type of thing that could drive someone to suicide I think :undecided:

Quote:

Near Dylan said:
For withdrawal to DXM :lol: I used to do a few grams of pure powder a week for all of Junior year and it gave me HPPD-like withdraws. I had to quit because it eventually just gave really unpleasant effects. Is it effective at all for opiate w/d?




Some people say yes, I say no.  It might temporarily provide a distraction and but is disassociation, but I find such things to be corrosive to willpower in the end.  Plus I think with anything you use to try and escape opiate withdrawal, if it doesn't work it ends up making things 10x worse.  The only thing that is worse than night after night of insomnia is not being able to sleep even when you're sedated.  That can be hellish, you feel trapped in your body and so exhausted but can't sleep. 

Since DXM has a potential to make you feel like shit, it is something I would avoid especially during the acute withdrawal.  I don't really like DXM so I wouldn't use it, but some people who like it do use it to cope with withdrawal.  Basically people will use anything, but the only thing that really helps is time.


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InvisibleRustifer
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #22590002 - 11/29/15 11:51 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

I've used DXM to withdrawal before quite a bit. I've found that getting fucked up on it is horrible while in that state, but taking 100-150mg is good for distracting you from how bad you feel.


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OfflineMilkdudTitties
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Rustifer]
    #22590009 - 11/29/15 11:53 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Rustifer said:
I've used DXM to withdrawal before quite a bit. I've found that getting fucked up on it is horrible while in that state, but taking 100-150mg is good for distracting you from how bad you feel.





just smoking weed is much better IMO

however, i love a good dxm trip whenever i am sick with a cold or the flu


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InvisibleRustifer
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Rustifer]
    #22590021 - 11/29/15 11:56 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

I fucked up yesterday and took some more tramadol. 300mg :frown:

I defiantly feel a lot worse of than I did before I took it. I was starting to feel great sometimes. Starting to have waves of "ok I am feeling good enough to think about going out and finding a job". I wasn't laying in bed tossing and turning for hours before I fell asleep anymore, I would pass out before an episode or two of a 25 minute show was over. Hopefully this goes away quickly and I can get back on track and feeling well enough for working. I want to get my life started back up and not be sitting around on the computer for 16 hours a day doing nothing.


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InvisibleCowb0yNeal00
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Moonshoe]
    #22590024 - 11/29/15 11:57 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Moonshoe said:
Yeah thats how I sort of look at it. Kratom is just another stable, a sort of herb or vegetable medicine that happens to cure my otherwise debilitating genetic disability of chronic depression, which has basically afflicted my mother and older brother since I was a child, and I got the bad gene too.

So grateful kratom set me free from depression, just wish I could sleep without it, but its no different then if I was on a pharmaceutical antidepressant except the withdrawal from those sounds much worse.



you gotta get off that stuff if you want to become a spiritual person.


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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: MilkdudTitties]
    #22590201 - 11/29/15 12:39 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

We are really happy and I am super grateful for my life. I love being married. My kratom addiction isn't really any different then people who drink a few cups of coffee throughout the day.

I don't feel like its holding me back at all and our life has never been better.

My wife loves what kratom has done for me.

I don't feel like it hinders spirituality.

I am working on getting off it, but I don't feel hard done by at all, in fact, we have never been happier and the past two years I have been on it have been amazing years for both of us.


--------------------


Everything I post is fiction.


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OfflineApostle
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Moonshoe]
    #22590214 - 11/29/15 12:41 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

No offense but i saw this coming and its hard not to feel like "told you so!"


I guess your rants against specific drugs while making exceptions to the ones you took made me harbor some feelings about you regarding addiction.

nothing personal but its kinda like the same thing that happened with Bothhands who was also really vocal against the addicts here and ended up addicted.


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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Apostle]
    #22590232 - 11/29/15 12:45 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Not totally sure what you are trying to say, but I was never "vocal against the addicts here".

I have always recognized that certain drugs like heroin and meth and crack are incredibly harmful and addictive and have always avoided using them and warned others to do the same, and that decision has saved my life.

I am so glad I am addicted to kratom and not alcohol, benzos, cocaine, meth, crack, cigarettes, or anything else under the sun.

I am friends with many addicts here, and I am an addict- a kratom addict. I am not "against" anyone, but I know as well as anyone how devestating hard drugs are because I have so many friends here who struggle with stuff like meth or oxy or fentanyl. Its hardcore shit and I feel for them. I can relate in my own little way, but I am so glad I knew to stick to kratom leaf and cannabis and coffee and nothing harder.

My life is happier then it has ever been and I cherish my three daily habits of flower, leaf and bean. I dont regret it at all.


--------------------


Everything I post is fiction.


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OfflineMilkdudTitties
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Apostle]
    #22590255 - 11/29/15 12:49 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

there is nothing wrong with being an addict.

at least i can admit that i am one.


and fuck drug racism.


all drugs should be legal in the US. they call it the 'land of the free' yet i cant even choose what i put into my body?

:wtfsonic:


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OfflineApostle
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Moonshoe]
    #22590258 - 11/29/15 12:49 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Its hard to articulate what i felt without sounding like a prick.

I mean you were very vocal against specific drugs all while taking mxe etizolam and others.


either way i got nothing against you and honestly think you should try n kick the kratom.

not for good, just to get rid of the physical dependance.


Im a heroin addict but i am not currently physically addicted and this makes a huge difference imo.


Im glad you are happy.


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Rustifer]
    #22590426 - 11/29/15 01:19 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Rustifer said:
I fucked up yesterday and took some more tramadol. 300mg :frown:

I defiantly feel a lot worse of than I did before I took it. I was starting to feel great sometimes. Starting to have waves of "ok I am feeling good enough to think about going out and finding a job". I wasn't laying in bed tossing and turning for hours before I fell asleep anymore, I would pass out before an episode or two of a 25 minute show was over. Hopefully this goes away quickly and I can get back on track and feeling well enough for working. I want to get my life started back up and not be sitting around on the computer for 16 hours a day doing nothing.




Don't let it get you down man.  You's a champ.  It's never easy, always a struggle, but worth it in the end.  Keep at it.

Maybe remove yourself from access from the trams.  I had to cut myself off from access to any cash, because I just can't trust myself.  I keep finding things I've squirreled away which I am just using when I really need it to get homework and shit done. 

I really want to get clean, it seems like you do too.  The most important thing is not to give up even after a relapse.  Almost everyone has relapses, and staying emotionally stable despite having a relapse is the most effective strategy to deal with it I think.  It's gonna be a long winter, but I think we can do this and at least give life free from opiates a good go.


I'm looking into this group:  http://www.smartrecovery.org/ as a means of support and guidance.  Anyone have any experience?


Edited by moonrockmushy (11/29/15 01:23 PM)


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InvisibleRustifer
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #22590511 - 11/29/15 01:37 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

I'd have to admit to taking them. :/ And I'm not really ready to do that. I'm kinda hoping it never comes up. That's gonna be a bad conversation. :frown:

But I got out of the house for a little bit, and I feel better now. I guess it's more mental than anything. I hope I don't take anymore. I feel like I wont. Relapsing on tramadol is VERY fulfilling. It just makes me want a real hit.

I've been to detox more times than I can count, easily over 10. They know me by name at the one back home in SA. They actually wont let me back in anymore, because I've left AMA so many times with people, we just start talking and I'm like fuck it lets go get high. I was banging one chick and they almost caught us, and they knew but couldn't prove it. But the final straw was the last time I was in there, I was all fucking klonned out (I had a bottle of 60 klon pills I snuck in) bragging to the staff about how I snuck out over the wall of the smoking area at 3am, to go retrieve a gram I had stashed, and fixed in the bathroom and about how I had banged 2 girls in detox, then went AMA an hour later, scored a block away, came back and fixed in the waiting room bathroom and ODed, someone saw me laying on the floor in the stall ended up getting hit with narcan 2 times. last time I ever fix with my pants down.

lol. :facepalm:

But if you're not a goddamn fool like I am, detox is great. All the klonopin/ativan they dole out to you with the clonidine takes the edge off of the withdrawal completely.


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OfflineLucisM
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Rustifer]
    #22590513 - 11/29/15 01:38 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Rustifer said:
I've used DXM to withdrawal before quite a bit. I've found that getting fucked up on it is horrible while in that state, but taking 100-150mg is good for distracting you from how bad you feel.





This has been my experience with DXM for WD's, I like it, but feel like a plastic robot or something when I am dope sick and on it.:grin:


--------------------
©️


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InvisibleRustifer
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Lucis]
    #22590565 - 11/29/15 01:46 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Yeah I've had some really funny experiences on it while dopesick. I didn't know about deslym, the polystirex DXM, and I was SICK SICK and klon-bared out hard. So I drank a whole bottle of the shit... I ended up calling a female friend I hadn't talked to in a year or so, and begging her crying not to kill one of our mutual friends. Nothing in reality made gave me any reason to think she was plotting to kill him. She couldn't talk me down from it, I was so sure that she was going to do it. I was just crying and crying begging her not to. I was dating/manipulating this sober normal girl to let me stay with her, and she was at work while this was going down, but came home in the middle of it and I had trashed her room during this little episode falling all over everything. She had no clue what she had gotten herself into until then. I was just holding on to her legs crying that she's going to kill ph over and over. The whole 12 hours I tripped I was so sure that she was going to kill him.

That girl ended up getting me some oxy from her neighbor, I took them, slept it off, and woke up wtfing really hard about what had happen. I will never take so much of that shit again.


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Rustifer]
    #22590777 - 11/29/15 02:28 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Rustifer said:
I'd have to admit to taking them. :/ And I'm not really ready to do that. I'm kinda hoping it never comes up. That's gonna be a bad conversation. :frown:

But I got out of the house for a little bit, and I feel better now. I guess it's more mental than anything. I hope I don't take anymore. I feel like I wont. Relapsing on tramadol is VERY fulfilling. It just makes me want a real hit.

I've been to detox more times than I can count, easily over 10. They know me by name at the one back home in SA. They actually wont let me back in anymore, because I've left AMA so many times with people, we just start talking and I'm like fuck it lets go get high. I was banging one chick and they almost caught us, and they knew but couldn't prove it. But the final straw was the last time I was in there, I was all fucking klonned out (I had a bottle of 60 klon pills I snuck in) bragging to the staff about how I snuck out over the wall of the smoking area at 3am, to go retrieve a gram I had stashed, and fixed in the bathroom and about how I had banged 2 girls in detox, then went AMA an hour later, scored a block away, came back and fixed in the waiting room bathroom and ODed, someone saw me laying on the floor in the stall ended up getting hit with narcan 2 times. last time I ever fix with my pants down.

lol. :facepalm:

But if you're not a goddamn fool like I am, detox is great. All the klonopin/ativan they dole out to you with the clonidine takes the edge off of the withdrawal completely.




Yeah I'm very hesitant to go through with detox.  I just really doubt it would make a difference in the long term, being such a spiteful bitch.  I just can't stand the idea of needing for-profit institutions to do something that people did on their own and with community support for most of human history.

We're not fools man, we're just some ordinary people in a strange world that doesn't really care about us since we take a drug deemed to be evil, when the real evil stems from seeking to profit off drugs and using them to exploit people.  Can't let them win though, without people strong enough to overcome this oppression it will only get worse.


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InvisibleRustifer
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #22590807 - 11/29/15 02:35 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Yeah where you're at, it might not help. I only go in there when I'm going to be SICK, like to the point of puking myself into dehydration sick. And even then, it's never helped me unless I go directly into rehab from there. In SA the detox is next to a homeless shelter and a block from the jail. Any time I can't score from my regular guys I go down to that area and people are hollering at me to buy brown from them. They literally line up on the sidewalks in the shadow of the 8 story building that is the jail. It blows my mind when I score there every time. But it really fucks with me when I'm in there and sick and know in 5 minutes I can make it better.

You seem like you just need to get some benzos for sleep and tough it out man.


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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Apostle]
    #22591766 - 11/29/15 06:34 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

MXE is amazing stuff but I quit it a long long time ago.

Etizolam has it's uses but I quit it long ago too.

And I have always been clear with everyone about the dangers of
Those two drugs and the issues I had with it.

I warn people that MXE can cause psychosis and etizolam can cause severe addiction and deadly withdrawal.

Warning people about the risks and dangers of drugs is what eduxation is all about.

Being vocal about the risks and dangers of heroine an meth is just common sense. Everyone already knows how bad those drugs are for you, i
Don day anything about them everyone already knows.

The only drugs I do or recommend are coffee, kratom, weed
And occasional red wine or beer as well as certain natural
Psychedelics like ayahuasca dmt or mushrooms.

Everything else is too risky an harmful for the most part.

I am in the process of quitting Kratom, tapering down and have a good plan for how and when to do it. So far is
Going well and I already reduced my use by about two thirds.

I agree there is nothing wrong with being an addict. Everyone is. The key is what you are addicted
To.

My addictions are exercise, Meditation, kratom, yoga,
Love and cuddling, video games , coffee and weed and I have never been happier.


--------------------


Everything I post is fiction.


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OfflineApostle
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Moonshoe]
    #22591800 - 11/29/15 06:41 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Right on man!

I caught a good nod today. Gonna take another break and smoke weed for a few days then probably score next weekend.


I hope things stay functional for you and yours :hug:


I never had any w.d symptoms even after extensive mxe abuse.

I did experience a long episode of psychosis but it was the megalomania kind and not the scared and paranoid kind so i didnt mind.


Love the stuff!


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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Apostle]
    #22593424 - 11/30/15 05:37 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

I never got addiction or withdrawal from MXE either, although I never used it daily. But it did cause me a big psychotic break, but that only lasted for as long as the drug lasted.

I did get my kratom dose down to 1 tsp at a time, which adds up to 5 tsp a day for the past two days, down from 3 tsp at a time= 15 tsp a day, so I dropped my dose from 15 tsp a day/30 grams to 5 tsp a day or about 10-15 grams.

So pretty happy with my progress so far. If I can get it down to like 3 tsp a day that would be awesome.

Be well friend :hug:

Kratom and Ibogaine are the only things I have seen help people get off real opiates.

That or suboxone/bupe/methadone/naltrexone, but those seem to be seen as just the same beast in different fur.

Worth looking into both for all hard opiate addicts.


--------------------


Everything I post is fiction.


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OfflineApostle
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Moonshoe]
    #22593450 - 11/30/15 05:54 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Theyre especially useful for IV users in terms of harm reduction.

A close friend of mine was given 3 years to five as his projected time left on earth due to advanced hep c and a heart infection.

Sometimes i feel like my heart is gonna give out sometime soon and i know that ive injected shit tons of drugs not to mention physical debris from cut and carpet surfing then shooting what i find. I imagine my arteries are hella clogged with shit. Also i shot morphine ers the kind that gelled up for a little bit and someone posted a study here about how that gunk builds up in the tiny veins in the brain and causes stroke.

Also i just shot up some suboxone film which has methylcelulose which i read is very bad to inject which i believe because its very viscous.


Nevermind the rcs that physically hurt to inject but i continued to abuse anyway.


So yea i think bupe and methadone save the body and user alot of harm. Unless you inject them like my dumbass. Thats where methadone clinics have the advantage which is distributing the meds daily n watching you take it. Buttt eventually u get take homes and i know those get shot up as well despite it being an oral solution which isnt designed for iv usage.


Its fucking sad really.

I am killing myself and im not even suicidal.


May your addiction never progress beyond kratom and may all the addicts in this thread find peace.



I wish things couldve been different but dwelling on that will just send me on a binge.

Im out of opiods and wont be buying more for at least a few days.

Im no longer physically addicted so i can reclaim my "chipper" title for now.


Dis shit is crazy. Normal people that meet me have no idea im a needle jockey and we seem so dam alike but i have a secret life which consumes me and revolves around injecting drugs. Idk it just boggles my mind when ppl and girls in particular befriend me and just have no idea what i really am.

:suicide:


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