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Cowb0yNeal00



Registered: 06/05/13
Posts: 11,059
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Quote:
Severo Blizzard said: Im addicted man, alcohol and weed everyday
why does your emoji say sober then? lol
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MilkdudTitties
My Nipples Look Like Milk Duds



Registered: 03/22/09
Posts: 3,796
Loc: USA
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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i was addicted to heroin for almost 4 years but i have turned my life around.
no one in my life has any idea that i used to do that.
i got a career now and am one of the best people at my company. Normally you wouldn't get a raise until the 6 month mark, i have been there less than that and already gotten two.
I will never touch any sort of opiate again. I am done wasting my life.
even if i get injured, and am in the hospital i will refuse to take opiates
edit, i wanted to add that i tried kratom a few months back. only around 1 gram and i had withdrawls the next day. I can't even smoke weed anymore, i get withdrawls from it now too. Wake up in the night soaked in sweat and feel extremely groggy and tired the next day
My brain chemistry has been changed
Edited by MilkdudTitties (11/29/15 12:42 AM)
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Lucis
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
Last seen: 1 month, 29 days
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Quote:
Cowb0yNeal00 said: What state is this is?
It was in a different part of the country than I am now, very different than where I am now.
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MilkdudTitties
My Nipples Look Like Milk Duds



Registered: 03/22/09
Posts: 3,796
Loc: USA
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Lucis]
#22588963 - 11/29/15 12:53 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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the most evil things i have ever done were when i was on opiates.
they make you soul less and dead inside.
the only reason i was able to quit is because i had to when my dealer got popped.
only after this could i see all the damage i had done to myself. i was thankful that it was taken out of my life
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Moonshoe
Blue Mantis


Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Lucis]
#22588965 - 11/29/15 12:54 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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I am truly physically addicted to kratom. Its gnarly but damn it made my life a hundred times better.
Still sucks to be dependent on something for basic biological functions like sleep.
But if I had to choose between this addiction and the depression and anxiety that was ruining my life before...
No question this addiction has made my life better.
Still trying to taper down/off though.
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Everything I post is fiction.
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Lucis
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
Last seen: 1 month, 29 days
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Quote:
MilkdudTitties said:
they make you soul less and dead inside.
That is how I feel without them because I abused them for so long.
I have been sober from them for almost 3 years, and don't feel like I have returned to the normal state I used to feel when I was using all the time. I have tried everything legal to get back to how I used to feel, but nothing help for longer than 30-60 mins.
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MilkdudTitties
My Nipples Look Like Milk Duds



Registered: 03/22/09
Posts: 3,796
Loc: USA
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Lucis]
#22588991 - 11/29/15 01:07 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Fennario said:
Quote:
MilkdudTitties said:
they make you soul less and dead inside.
That is how I feel without them because I abused them for so long.
I have been sober from them for almost 3 years, and don't feel like I have returned to the normal state I used to feel when I was using all the time. I have tried everything legal to get back to how I used to feel, but nothing help for longer than 30-60 mins.
i am sorry to hear that man.
when i was withdrawling the only thing that gave me comfort or any sort of relief was smoking weed. i was smoking every 5-10 minutes.
i quit a month or two later because of my job. now when i smoke it, its just not worth it. but weed did help me get through one of the toughest times in my life. i am happier now than i have been in my entire life. even if i could go back in time i would still do heroin again because it has made me into the person i am now. I know it has changed the way my brain works.
but its like i always say, i had to make all these mistakes to get to where i am today and i am stronger because of it.
strength is gained through suffering
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Lucis
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
Last seen: 1 month, 29 days
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I agree with your statement "strength is gained through suffering", and have always liked that way of thinking.
I don't look at it as some woe is me type thing though, I made my bed and I intend to lay in it. Somehow I think I really enjoy pain, I think I like pain so much because I was a junkie for so long and have lived with pain of addiction and all that comes with that, that it's like my old friend and don't know how to be without some type of suffering in my life.
Shits fucked up man.
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suttree
Your vibrational content


Registered: 10/21/15
Posts: 409
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Lucis]
#22589013 - 11/29/15 01:22 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Happy and alive motherfuckers.
-------------------- PCT
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MilkdudTitties
My Nipples Look Like Milk Duds



Registered: 03/22/09
Posts: 3,796
Loc: USA
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Lucis]
#22589021 - 11/29/15 01:25 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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some of my favorite memories of that time were when i was withdrawling. i could even go so far as to say that i enjoyed withdrawls, because when it happened i would just sit around and watch movies.
maybe eat some weed edibles too. the way i felt was just unique, but when it was happening i didnt like it.
i know i didn't like it when it happened, yet i have fond memories of it.
thats how bad heroin is. it makes you think that even when you were suffering the very most, feeling like shit, that it was still awesome
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Lucis
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
Last seen: 1 month, 29 days
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Quote:
MilkdudTitties said:
thats how bad heroin is. it makes you think that even when you were suffering the very most, feeling like shit, that it was still awesome
I would get so strung out, then get sick and lay there craving dope very badly, but it was like I accepted the fact of what I was and didn't want to fight it, I was a fucking junkie and almost felt proud of that fact at that point in my life. I felt like fighting the fact of what I was only made things worse, made the addiction worse, the pain worse, the craving worse. I wasn't that it was awesome, it was that it was who I was so how could I fight that?
When I first started using I had a decent grasp on who I was, but after a few years of using heavily, you start to see how heroin can affect your thoughts about ever day life, your morality slowly seems to fade away and all you care about is fixing, which I think is why some people do absurd things to get a fix.
I was so numb, comfortably numb I guess you could say. When you find out your friend died from dope, and all you can think about is fixing, then there's something morally corrupt about that, at least I think so. I would learn of a friends death here or there, usually caused from OD, but sometimes people would get heart infections from shooting shitty cocaine and this would kill them too. Pain from that never really caught up until the last couple of years.
I was at work the other day and had to leave because I was at the point of tears remembering a good friend of mine who passed in 2013, shit was intense man, fucking psychedelic intense, was actually amazing.
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kakashi68
Connoiseur of Illicit Substances


Registered: 11/25/11
Posts: 2,116
Loc: STRAYA
Last seen: 10 days, 2 hours
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Moonshoe]
#22589147 - 11/29/15 03:45 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Moonshoe said: I am truly physically addicted to kratom. Its gnarly but damn it made my life a hundred times better.
Still sucks to be dependent on something for basic biological functions like sleep.
But if I had to choose between this addiction and the depression and anxiety that was ruining my life before...
No question this addiction has made my life better.
Still trying to taper down/off though.
well your dependant on food and air aswell?
-------------------- You know, just sometimes in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that 400th glass of cornershop piss at 3am--you do sometimes look at yourself and think--this is fantastic. I'm in heaven. -Bernard Black
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Mush 4 Brains
about tree fiddy


Registered: 12/19/07
Posts: 8,298
Loc: Tacos
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Quote:
moonrockmushy said: Yeah I always worry about contaminants in the dope that sucks that you got sick from it. Was it tar or powder?
I'm at 5 days again. Only thing that seemed to reset itself from using after a week clean is the fucking insomnia. I am back to getting zero sleep, no matter how tired I get.
Its powder, really potent lately too. It was some rare bacteria the docs told me. Nearly killed me, I had night time fevers for a month, would wake up literally drenched in sweat freezing.
The sleep loss really gets to you. Also don't know about you but my eating habits are all messed up too, barely eat at all for weeks
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Moonshoe
Blue Mantis


Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: kakashi68]
#22589381 - 11/29/15 07:53 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Yeah thats how I sort of look at it. Kratom is just another stable, a sort of herb or vegetable medicine that happens to cure my otherwise debilitating genetic disability of chronic depression, which has basically afflicted my mother and older brother since I was a child, and I got the bad gene too.
So grateful kratom set me free from depression, just wish I could sleep without it, but its no different then if I was on a pharmaceutical antidepressant except the withdrawal from those sounds much worse.
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Everything I post is fiction.
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MilkdudTitties
My Nipples Look Like Milk Duds



Registered: 03/22/09
Posts: 3,796
Loc: USA
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Moonshoe]
#22589523 - 11/29/15 09:08 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Moonshoe said: Yeah thats how I sort of look at it. Kratom is just another stable, a sort of herb or vegetable medicine that happens to cure my otherwise debilitating genetic disability of chronic depression, which has basically afflicted my mother and older brother since I was a child, and I got the bad gene too.
So grateful kratom set me free from depression, just wish I could sleep without it, but its no different then if I was on a pharmaceutical antidepressant except the withdrawal from those sounds much worse.
kratom withdrawl is pretty bad too.
sounds like you have already convinced yourself that you need it though.
i thought i needed drugs too, for depression. drugs never worked very well for that. but getting out and making a real change did.
drugs only fix mental health for a short period. after that, they leave you off worse because you are now relying on them to fix how you feel, instead of fixing it yourself
and eventually they will stop working
kratom probably is a lot better than anti-depressant pharms though.
i dont even understand how they can be called anti-depressants when a side effect they always list is suicidal thoughts?
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Near Dylan
Shitpost Artist


Registered: 07/29/15
Posts: 13,929
Last seen: 7 days, 16 hours
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Lucis] 1
#22589623 - 11/29/15 09:58 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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I used to take 400-600mg dxm before bussing at a seafood place.
I was fired.
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite



Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Near Dylan]
#22589760 - 11/29/15 10:47 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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was that DXM to cope with w/d or just for kicks?
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Near Dylan
Shitpost Artist


Registered: 07/29/15
Posts: 13,929
Last seen: 7 days, 16 hours
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For withdrawal to DXM I used to do a few grams of pure powder a week for all of Junior year and it gave me HPPD-like withdraws. I had to quit because it eventually just gave really unpleasant effects. Is it effective at all for opiate w/d?
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Moonshoe
Blue Mantis


Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
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Yes the withdrawal has gotten pretty bad although it took 2 years of daily dosing to get bad.
I am tapering down my doses.
It has worked EXTREMELY, UNBELIEVABLY well for depression for two years. I have gone from depressed a majority of the time to never at all, and it has worked equally well for anxiety.
Because it puts me in a good mood, I have energy and motivation to work out, meditate, do yoga, work my 12 hour shifts full time job and overtime, clean my house, be social, do stuff.
And then all that feeds in to make my life better, in turn making me less depressed.
Kratom is only one part of my strategy for dealing with depression- I also work out every day, do yoga every two days, meditate every day, and much more.
But kratom has undoubtedly made an enormous positive difference and still to this day works extremely well for my mood, even with my tolerance and even having dropped my dose by 2/3, it still works fantastic for my mood, energy and well being.
The only other thing that ever helped a lot (supplement/drug wise) was S adenosyl Methionine, but that stuff is way way too expensive, and tianeptine, but that stuff is less natural and more "iffy" to me then kratom, and not as effective.
I work on "fixing myself" every day- I have three university degrees, i am in insane shape, I work over time at a good job, I am happily married, own my home etc etc. Its not like I am just using kratom to escape from life, I use kratom to help me live an amazing life.
That said I dont recommend anyone become addicted to it like I have. Once every 2-3 days or less is the way to do kratom for sure, not daily.
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Everything I post is fiction.
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MilkdudTitties
My Nipples Look Like Milk Duds



Registered: 03/22/09
Posts: 3,796
Loc: USA
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Moonshoe]
#22589889 - 11/29/15 11:18 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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damn man. it sounds like you just got dealt some bad cards.
i cant even imagine being married while being addicted.
in my mind you have to deal with all your problems before ever even thinking about getting married. how can you be with someone else when you cant even stand being alone with yourself?
having a degree doesn't really mean much IMO, though
i have one too and it was extremely easy to get. in fact, school just allowed my addiction to flourish
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