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InvisibleRustifer
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Registered: 04/10/05
Posts: 7,071
Loc: Central Texas
Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Adden]
    #22548496 - 11/19/15 07:22 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

ok ok ok, you talked me into it. I'm gonna go for a nice long walk.


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InvisibleAdden
I'm a teapot
Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 39,201
Loc: Flag
Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Rustifer]
    #22565847 - 11/23/15 10:07 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

39 days 1h 30m ish.

This past week has gotten exponentially better. I'm sleeping regularly and eating very healthy. Stopped drinking caffeine for the most part, cigarettes almost done with. I hope. Finally starting to have regular emotions but had a moment last night. Frustrated and lost in the city with no wallet or phone so I made the best of it and got a few miles in.


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InvisibleRustifer
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Adden]
    #22565922 - 11/23/15 10:32 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Nice job Dys. Keep it up.

I've got 20 days off real opiates, and it's been 5 days since I took any tramadol. It feels like the symptoms from the taking tramadol for a week were separate from the withdrawal symptoms from the dope/methadone/suboxone. I feel myself coming back the past couple days. I'm noticing the RLS is dying down considerably, I find myself sitting still for long periods of times. I still have trouble falling asleep, but the past two nights I've slept 6-8 hours straight through without too crazy of dreams. The anxiety is dying down too, which is great because I can finally kinda think straight, and that means I can finally start to do things to distract myself from the slight amount of shitty I feel most of the time. It's great, I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel.


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InvisibleAdden
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Posts: 39,201
Loc: Flag
Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Rustifer]
    #22565935 - 11/23/15 10:37 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Keep up the great work, man. Days 20 to 30 were very turbulent for me. My head was all over the place and it worked out well being mush season. It granted my wife a reprieve. I think if I stayed inside I would've caused damage to our marriage. It's good to hear the RLS is dying down. If you're pulling 6 to 8 hours without any assistance then you are much further ahead than I was.


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OfflineLove_spirit
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Cowb0yNeal00]
    #22566043 - 11/23/15 11:16 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Sup dud,
e
Being addicted is fantastic.
Seem like some people have issues no matter
what the sitch. yo.
heard you can drown in water.
Innocent water.


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InvisibleRustifer
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Love_spirit]
    #22566067 - 11/23/15 11:23 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

:epicfacepalm:


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InvisibleMush 4 Brains
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Registered: 12/19/07
Posts: 8,298
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Cowb0yNeal00]
    #22566090 - 11/23/15 11:31 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Been struggling with heroin addiction for the past couple of years. Worst years of my life in every way. Its strange the physical wd is not as bad now as it used to be, the only physical aspects that get to me niw are the sleeping disturbances and the feeling that there's something constantly stuck in my throat.

The depression is the absolute worst part, the regret too. I've crippled my body and mind with this shit. Got a blood infection that nearly killed me months back. It wasnt from dirty needles, it was from the dope itself. I had a minor knee injury and the infected blood got trapped in the joint which required surgery. Good times


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Mush 4 Brains]
    #22566835 - 11/24/15 07:56 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Yeah I always worry about contaminants in the dope :tongue: that sucks that you got sick from it.  Was it tar or powder?

I'm at 5 days again.  Only thing that seemed to reset itself from using after a week clean is the fucking insomnia.  I am back to getting zero sleep, no matter how tired I get.


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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #22566849 - 11/24/15 08:01 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Really sorry for all of you struggling in the trenches of opiate addiction.


I have decided I really need to get off kratom. So I came up with a plan based on tapering down, switching to stem and vein, quitting completely during a week long beach vacation in Antigua, then switching to tianeptine and a few other things to take the edge off.

I love kratom but I dont love being an addict.


--------------------


Everything I post is fiction.


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OfflineApostle
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Moonshoe] * 1
    #22567175 - 11/24/15 09:41 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

5or six days clean here.



Kicking is easy if you know what to expect and just accept it.


Weed weed weed and more weed.


Cant sleep? Smoke some weed and fucking over eat. Youll get at least an hour.

Xanaflex knocked me out for an hour or so before i woke up in sweats too. Not everyone has those though.

Those little incriments of sleep make a biggg difference. Knock yourself out however u can using non opiods.


Moonshoe, i believe in you.

Personally i wouldnt risk ruining a vacay but how you kick is not as important as just doing it.


Its almost a spiritual experience tbh.

A whole week of not sleeping and constant vommiting convulsing and diahreaa while in a cold jail cell is a powerful experience.

Most kicks are and its like youre body purging and you really feel the regeneration process. Sure its not pleasant to be so acutely aware of your own body as it repairs itself but once the repairs are done its like being born again.
Learn from this and emerge stronger.
Quit before it destroys all of your support system and gives you more excuses to spiral downward.

I fucking lost everything and still keep trudging on in defiance.
Ill probably lose the battle against the addiction in the end but ill never stop fighting.


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Apostle]
    #22567266 - 11/24/15 10:07 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

:raisemyglass: It's too easy to give in.  That was inspirational Apostle, thanks.  Really hope you can breathe easy sooner than later, but in any case I love the defiance.  That's the only thing that ever worked for me, just being goddamn stubborn when I can't be strong.

Weed doesn't really help me sleep.  Sometimes I don't even know why I smoke when I'm sick.  It is really helpful at first for mood and appetite, but I always overdo it and it just contributes to my lack of energy.


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Offlinedixienormous


Registered: 09/21/14
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #22567278 - 11/24/15 10:09 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Oxygen and food are my main addictions. I consume the earlier way too much to even count. I've been addicted since birth; sadly. :crazy2:


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OfflineApostle
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #22567298 - 11/24/15 10:12 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Yea i think its the overeating that gives me the sleep in the end. Like till your stomach is bloated and you cant move.

Weed worsens my anxiety but if i stay home thats a non issue and it helps distract me from the w.d.

In really hard w.d. though yea sleep is hard to come by. No matter what u take.

Clonodine and xanax have worked best at getting me sleep during BRutal w.d.


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OfflineAllGreyThumbs
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Moonshoe]
    #22567831 - 11/24/15 12:06 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Moonshoe said:
Really sorry for all of you struggling in the trenches of opiate addiction.


I have decided I really need to get off kratom. So I came up with a plan based on tapering down, switching to stem and vein, quitting completely during a week long beach vacation in Antigua, then switching to tianeptine and a few other things to take the edge off.

I love kratom but I dont love being an addict.




Funny how so many people go from singing the praises of kratom to seeing it as a problem.  Make no mistake, I'm right there with you.  Years of screwing around with an unsteady supply of real opiates turned into a daily kratom habit around three years ago.

I look back and it hardly seems like I've even lived these pasts three years.  I mean, I've done everything I was supposed to do, work, raise a family, and so on.  I even took a "trip of a lifetime" and rode a bicycle from DC to Pittsburgh.  I did so much stuff, but it all happened in this slight haze that makes it seem like a dream and that I didn't really live it.

If I valued life it would surely be in my best interest to quit.  The problem is that I don't really value life that much.  As I near middle age I realise that so much of the notion of having a rewarding and fulfilling life may be complete bullshit fed into our heads in order to get us to take a place in the machinery of society.

Listen up kids, and let me tell you the truth about life.  You are not going to get to realize your hopes and dreams.  What is going to happen is that you are going to eventually be forced into a job with a giant, soulless corporation.  You'll spend 49 out of every 52 weeks busting your ass, not to do something useful or improve human life,  but basically just in a desperate effort to keep stock prices aligned the way the overlords like them.

Of course you'll probably find a girl you think you like, so you'll get married, have kids, and get locked into a mortgage.  Then you'll realize that you and your wife really can't stand each other, but that it would be financially devastating to try to separate.

So you'll end up spending almost every day of your life waking up before you want to wake up, to go a place you don't want to go, and do stuff you don't give a damn about.  All just to give you kids a little more choice as to how they will serve the corrupt and greedy system that we must live under.

You may think I'm crazy, but I challenge you to go visit most other places in the world, or look at most times in human history.  What you'll find is that by and large human life is a stuggle to get by and reproduce.  Then you die.  If you are lucky you get to do that without suffering to terribly.  It is only here, at this exact place and time that we even entertain the absurd notion that life should be somehow rewarding and worthwhile.

So again, if I valued this human life experience I would be wise to work my way away from regular use of any substance.  Instead I find myself wishing I had hit things a little harder when I had the chance.  At least if I had been a real opiate addicte my life would have been more interesting than the endless cycle of mind-numbing middle class drudgery.  If it ended up killing me, I might have been better off.

Anything but another god damn day spent doing shit I don't give a damn about and pretending to care about the needs of my masters.  Yet to refuse to play the games means my family loosing what little it has.  Fuck I'm screwed.  No way out.  You play the game out masters dictate or you fall behind and watch everything you have slip away.

Anyway, I think my kratom'a wearing off.  No problem.  Got a pocket full of capsules, just like I do everyday.

Yep, kids, make sure to work real hard.  Get an education.  Get married.  Buy a house.  Have kids.  And by all means stay away from the drugs.  They might make you not care about the things we say are important.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rat_Park


--------------------
I only use drugs medicinally.  If I don't my knees hurt from kneeling down.


Edited by AllGreyThumbs (11/24/15 12:12 PM)


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InvisibleAdden
I'm a teapot
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Posts: 39,201
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: AllGreyThumbs]
    #22567863 - 11/24/15 12:11 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

:aweman:

It's so true it hurts.

:picard:

People always wonder why a husband or wife goes bonkers and kills the kids then pulls a homicide/suicide with no note. Shit like this is why.


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OfflineApostle
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: AllGreyThumbs]
    #22567935 - 11/24/15 12:25 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Nah fuck all that i still believe in love and having dreams.

Any shortcomings in those departments are from lack of effort on my part.

Granted i have pretty realistic goals.

I also have realistic expectations of female behaviour.


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OfflineAllGreyThumbs
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: Apostle]
    #22568012 - 11/24/15 12:36 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Oh, I would like to add that if you have acess to MXE, you can pretty much just skip the acute phase of withdrawal of a moderate kratom addiction.  I just made capsules with around 10 to 15 mg of MXE and took one every time I got too antsy.  I was careful not to get too crazy with the MXE when I needed to be out and about.  Long story short, after 4 days in a glow I came down to find that I didn't really need to take kratom.  In fact I think the NMDA antagonism even helped fix my brain to some extent.

I was drug free for a whole day until I remembered why I liked being on kratom all the time.

Something to consider, though I know MXE is getting harder to come by.  It straight eliminated almost all signs of withdrawal without being too debilitating.  It even carried over enough that I slept ok.  I've done lesser experiments with DXM, but it always makes me feel kind of icky and dysphoric.  It does not completely eliminate withdrawal and even makes the mind fuckery worse.  It'seems a shame to watch MXE slip into history.


--------------------
I only use drugs medicinally.  If I don't my knees hurt from kneeling down.


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InvisibleModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: AllGreyThumbs]
    #22568036 - 11/24/15 12:41 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

:vibin:

Wooooo I'm here and I'm an addict whattup.
Actually, I'm not sure I am but I suspect I'm close to becoming one and I'd better stop.
Oxycodone.
Opana rarely, as it never seems to be around.


--------------------
Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?


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OfflineAllGreyThumbs
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: ModestMouse]
    #22568122 - 11/24/15 12:56 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

There's this notion that if you use too many drugs you miss out on all the good things in life.  All I'm saying is that the good moments in life are often pretty few and far between.  A lot of what gets missed is day to day drudgery.

Personally, when taken as a whole, both good moments and bad, I'm really not sure that the human experience is actually worth all the trouble.  Unfortunately I have kids, so I'm going to try not die until after they grow up.  Of course if anything happened I really wouldn't object that much.

Basically I'm a self hating addict and I'd probably destroy myself pretty quikcly, except that I live in such a boring and backwards ass part of the country, in such a mundane middle class world, that it is a pain in the ass to even get good drugs consistently.  I mean, where the fuck is all this heroin I keep hearing about?

Ugh, to think... I can't even be a respectable drug user.  That's how boring my life is.  Can't have hopes and dreams, can't even properly destroy myself.  Nothing but work and preparing the next generation for work.

You know, I was on a nice steady kratom taper, but it's all gone to shit after reading this thread.


--------------------
I only use drugs medicinally.  If I don't my knees hurt from kneeling down.


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InvisibleModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE
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Re: Where are all the addicts? [Re: AllGreyThumbs]
    #22568259 - 11/24/15 01:23 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

How old are you?


--------------------
Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?


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