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InvisibleWyoMX
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Registered: 07/06/15
Posts: 2,102
Loc: PNW
Re: tell me how to hang out with this massage parlor girl [Re: evenbreak]
    #22488666 - 11/06/15 10:30 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

You say it's a lose lose to justify not making a move it seems like. You don't know for sure what she would expect or anything man. If you just don't want to date her or something don't do it but to me it seems your making a lot of excuses. Not trying to be a dick.


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OfflineFungusOfTheBungus


Registered: 02/05/15
Posts: 121
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
Re: tell me how to hang out with this massage parlor girl [Re: evenbreak]
    #22488736 - 11/06/15 10:50 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

evenbreak said:
whats my end game tho? Say I bang her, then what? She told me she likes america because she wants to get married, have kids, and start a family here. i think if i bang her, she's going to expect that from me.

damn what am i thinking. this whole thing is lose/lose lol, unless we just stay friends.

but its ok, i dont care about busting my nut anyway. ejaculations are for bitches imo




Dude, you're waaaaay overthinking it. If she's texting and wanting to hang out then she is into you. If you want to make out or bang her then get creative. Shit, I found plenty of places when I was your age.

You don't have to marry her or have kids. Just have fun and be safe.

If you feel like you're losing your masculinity from cleaning the pipes once in awhile then you may need more help then we can give you.

Good luck!!


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Invisibleevenbreak
Stranger
Registered: 01/16/11
Posts: 583
Re: tell me how to hang out with this massage parlor girl [Re: FungusOfTheBungus]
    #22488748 - 11/06/15 10:53 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

she just called me but i didnt pick up...

i dont know what to do or what she wants... this is getting weird

she's from china and they are very traditional there and see sex as a contract for marriage, i read it online. obviously i dont have to marry her after sexing her but she's going to expect it and get her feelings hurt


--------------------
It has been reported that some victims of torture, during the act, would retreat into a fantasy world from which they could not wake up. In this catatonic state, the victim lived in a world just like their normal one, except they weren’t being tortured. The only way that they realized they needed to wake up was a note they found in their fantasy world. It would tell them about their condition, and tell them to wake up. Even then, it would often take months until they were ready to discard their fantasy world and please wake up.


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Offlinenicechrisman
Interdimensional space wizard
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Re: tell me how to hang out with this massage parlor girl [Re: evenbreak]
    #22488752 - 11/06/15 10:55 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Dude not all Chinese are like that. There's plenty of Chinese sluts out there. Lots of girls put on the good girl act to save face when they really want an injection of the vitamin D


--------------------
"Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent:
it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not."

John C. Lily

 


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Invisibleevenbreak
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Registered: 01/16/11
Posts: 583
Re: tell me how to hang out with this massage parlor girl [Re: nicechrisman]
    #22488758 - 11/06/15 10:56 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

listen im chinese too but im not talking about chinese-americans

im talking about culture from china

she's not chinese-american, she's from china and grew up in the culture there. she only came here 1 year ago


--------------------
It has been reported that some victims of torture, during the act, would retreat into a fantasy world from which they could not wake up. In this catatonic state, the victim lived in a world just like their normal one, except they weren’t being tortured. The only way that they realized they needed to wake up was a note they found in their fantasy world. It would tell them about their condition, and tell them to wake up. Even then, it would often take months until they were ready to discard their fantasy world and please wake up.


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OfflineFungusOfTheBungus


Registered: 02/05/15
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Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
Re: tell me how to hang out with this massage parlor girl [Re: evenbreak] * 1
    #22488791 - 11/06/15 11:10 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

evenbreak said:
listen im chinese too but im not talking about chinese-americans

im talking about culture from china

she's not chinese-american, she's from china and grew up in the culture there. she only came here 1 year ago






:bitchplease: This is America. Not China. If you want to put a move in this girl then you better do it now. She's practically throwing herself at you. Quit with the excuses. I don't want to see you back here unless you tell us how you made a final decision and executed it no matter what the outcome was. Make us proud!!


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OfflineP.Zappatecorum
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Re: tell me how to hang out with this massage parlor girl [Re: FungusOfTheBungus] * 1
    #22489083 - 11/07/15 02:02 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Op- you're driving me crazy here, and I'm sure you're driving her crazy.  What the fuck do you want from this?  Study buddies? One-night stand?  Solid dating relationship?.  All women view a serious dating relationship as prelude to marriage, it's in their nature.  Doesn't mean you're locked in just that she thinks of you a potential long term mate and is testing out the waters.  Is her family out here too, does she live with them, or is she alone in the city all by herself.  If she's independent and has a strong will she probably will just want to fuck you and have nice a light relationship.  Get to where guys are actually taking, holding hands and making out before you even start worrying about whether or not she'll expect you to marry her after one fuck.  That's the most ridiculous think I've ever heard.

And honestly, if this chick is nice, tolerates your bumbling incompetency and neurosis, and she's good looking to boot, you may have to realize that she could be the best chance that you get at a nice, hot and loving wife.  Don't run away thinking sex will put a ring on your finger dude, you're young and you can just tell her if the conversation comes up that you don't feel like it's wise to get married before whatever age, like 28.  That's about the average age. 

Honestly, marriage gets a bad rap, if you snake a good one, if you find yourself dating a woman that is way out of you league and actually loves you back, drop everthing and propose to her immediately.  Read about the "Secretary or Marriage Problem."


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OfflineTripsurfer
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Re: tell me how to hang out with this massage parlor girl [Re: evenbreak]
    #22489261 - 11/07/15 05:19 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

:facepalm: For fucks sake what is wrong with you? Man up dude!


--------------------
Ach en wee ben ik de klos, met mijn boog schoot ik een albatros...

A philosopher is a person who knows less and less about more and more, until he knows nothing about everything.



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Offlinenuentoter
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Re: tell me how to hang out with this massage parlor girl [Re: Tripsurfer]
    #22489333 - 11/07/15 06:33 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Ok dude,I think your being a little passive aggressive with this situation. Your making a lot of assumptions about things that only she knows. She may not even know because she is very likely as confused about the situation as you are.

Try this....
Talk to her.
Tell her how you feel and that you would like some clarity because you want to know if yuppie friends our if it would be appropriate to ask her out on a date.

Forget about your dick for awhile.

If she seems cool to hang out with them hang out. Don't worry so much man. Your going on about sex and marriage and actually worried about it. How many moves ahead are you playing? Be realistic and stick to what you know and what your doing and what you want.

If you tell her your conflicted about where this may be going and don't know if it would be ok to ask her out it shows her honesty and the ability to show a little bit of insecurity and humility. This is a good thing for any relationship and for any deep friendship. She says no then be her friend and compliment her. She's says yes then date her and take your time.

Good luck man.


--------------------

The geometry of us is no chance. We are antennae, we are tuning forks, we are receiver and transmitters of all energy. We are more than we know.  - @entheolove

"I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way - things I had no words for"  - Georgia O'Keefe

I think the word is vagina


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OfflineOldgregg
I'm old gregg!
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Registered: 03/29/09
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Re: tell me how to hang out with this massage parlor girl [Re: nuentoter]
    #22489441 - 11/07/15 07:43 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

chinar gurl very tradition not like western gurl.



she grew up and china and was raised in that culture...a huge amount of those girls are brought up so that they see their value as a person in terms of husband, kids, and wealth. so many will do anything they can to get that. she may very well want to be romantic and marry you, but look at the underlying reasons for it. if you're cool with it then go for it, if not then move on.


--------------------


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Invisibleevenbreak
Stranger
Registered: 01/16/11
Posts: 583
Re: tell me how to hang out with this massage parlor girl [Re: Oldgregg]
    #22490554 - 11/07/15 12:18 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

meh.. i mean... i'm not super physically attracted to her. if she wore makeup and showed more skin and acted more sexual then i would be, but right now things are feeling a bit one-sided...

also.. when we were hanging out last time, i felt insecure in public because i felt people were staring at me because im such a loser that i have to date a girl who doesn't speak english... i know it's crazy and stupid but i can't help it my head is so crazy and insane.

so im not really super crazy about her... i wouldn't mind being her friend, and i wouldn't mind being physically intimate with her... but i know i definitely wouldn't be happy if i dated this girl long term or i married her.....



sorry... i know i sound like an asshole. i cant help how i feel though. i wish i liked her more and am more into her...


--------------------
It has been reported that some victims of torture, during the act, would retreat into a fantasy world from which they could not wake up. In this catatonic state, the victim lived in a world just like their normal one, except they weren’t being tortured. The only way that they realized they needed to wake up was a note they found in their fantasy world. It would tell them about their condition, and tell them to wake up. Even then, it would often take months until they were ready to discard their fantasy world and please wake up.


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OfflineP.Zappatecorum
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Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 2,094
Loc: Cactaceae
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Re: tell me how to hang out with this massage parlor girl [Re: evenbreak] * 1
    #22490617 - 11/07/15 12:33 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Dude, get some counselling.  Your problems seem way deeper than whether this chick is in to you or not.  You don't seem to know what you want and are full of all sort of neurotic anxieties.  Get some professional help and sort your shit out before you end up posting creepy Eliot Rodger style videos and shooting up your school because "hot women" don't like you. 

If you feel like you're dating down all the time, you probably have an over-inflated sense of your own self worth, from what you've said and how you're talking, I think you should actually consider yourself lucky that this chick is miraculously interested in you,  It sounds to me like she deserves way better than what you're giving her. :shrug:

The first girl you date doesn't have to be a 10.  You have to start somewhere and if you never get any experience with women because you find fault with every chick that likes you, you'll get more and more alienated and become more and more undatable.  Don't be one of those guys who have impossibly high standards and don't bring much to the table, who treat the women that do like them like shit 'cause they're not "hot" and then hate all women because supermodels don't fall from the sky and worship the ground they walk on.  The internet is full of such fedora wearing MRA "gentlemen" and "nice guys" who justify each other's egotism and arrogance and blame the women for what is in reality entirely their own fault.

This is the kind of chick that likes you.  If you think that makes you low status, maybe you are low status.  Instead of taking it out on women that are giving you affection and companionship, improve yourself and make yourself worthy of the kind of woman you want.  You're really looking a gift horse in the mouth here. 

Dating is pretty low stakes dude, date her, if you think that fucking her would send the wrong message, then don't.  If you get sick of her then break up.  Nobody is saying you have to marry her.  In fact, she isn't even saying that, or even taking about dating.  So why worry?  You're young, if you do start dating tell her straight up that you have no plans for getting married.  If you do end up fucking, use a condom and make sure she's on the pill. 

I've dated some conservative girls that were "saving themselves" for marriage and all, wanting commitment and shit.  3 months later I was fucking them on the beach and getting BJs in the parking lot at school.  Women will say they want commitment because that's how they've been raised, but ultimately every straight young woman wants the dick, even if it makes them feel a little guilty.

Once you're in your late 20's, early 30's it changes, then chicks might really to want to get married and if you meet a hot, smart chick that you really like you should probably marry her right away.  But 25 and younger, fuck it, that's too young to get married and have kids and though women might say that's what they want at that point they really just want your dick.  :shrug:   


Edited by P.Zappatecorum (11/07/15 12:43 PM)


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: tell me how to hang out with this massage parlor girl [Re: P.Zappatecorum]
    #22490648 - 11/07/15 12:41 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Yeah that was an apt analysis I think.  You're definitely neurotic evenbreak, which is ok, but you've got to find some way to not resent other people for your own shortcomings.  I think it's clear that you wish you could be more assertive, but instead of step out of your comfort zone you find little faults in others and blow them out of proportion to justify your inaction.


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Invisibleevenbreak
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Registered: 01/16/11
Posts: 583
Re: tell me how to hang out with this massage parlor girl [Re: P.Zappatecorum]
    #22490668 - 11/07/15 12:47 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

lol, ive dealt with feelings of extreme depression my entire life and i know how i react to those feelings. i dont blame anyone but myself for those emotions, and worst comes to worst, the only one who i'll be killing is myself.

and yes, she does deserve better than me. she's a sweet girl. on some level i feel like im wasting her time if she's trying to see me as a marriage partner while im not all that into it.

i guess the solution here is honesty and transparency.


--------------------
It has been reported that some victims of torture, during the act, would retreat into a fantasy world from which they could not wake up. In this catatonic state, the victim lived in a world just like their normal one, except they weren’t being tortured. The only way that they realized they needed to wake up was a note they found in their fantasy world. It would tell them about their condition, and tell them to wake up. Even then, it would often take months until they were ready to discard their fantasy world and please wake up.


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InvisibleMr.GuessWork
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Re: tell me how to hang out with this massage parlor girl [Re: P.Zappatecorum] * 1
    #22490685 - 11/07/15 12:50 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

I think you should take your time and feel the situation out a bit more. If you both want to hang out then do it as friends. Keep it low pressure and noncommittal. Definitely don't go for any romance until you're comfortable with trusting her and you know her better. Sometimes you should trust your neurosis, and this might be one of those cases. I had a Chinese girl (by girl I mean a 30 year old) I barely knew propose marriage to me over the phone one time and try to move in with me to have kids. I'm not suggesting that's a norm, but that kind of stuff does exist in the world, and you don't want it to be an early romantic experience. There could be cultural pressures for her that you don't understand well, and it's a good idea to move slowly so you don't miss picking up on important details. She probably isn't very familiar with american attitudes about sexual experiences, and you can bet that her family isn't comfortable with them. Stay friends long enough for you to have a decent understanding of her and her expectations. Don't listen to the gung-ho frat-boy advice you're getting in this thread. It's bad advice.

Also don't beat yourself up. There's no reason to tell her you want to date her unless that's the only thing on your mind. There is nothing wrong with getting to know somebody before you decide what you want to tell them. She could probably use a friend anyway, and if she's cool then why not make a new friend.


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Invisibleevenbreak
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Registered: 01/16/11
Posts: 583
Re: tell me how to hang out with this massage parlor girl [Re: Mr.GuessWork]
    #22490691 - 11/07/15 12:52 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Mr.GuessWork said:
I think you should take your time and feel the situation out a bit more. If you both want to hang out then do it as friends. Keep it low pressure and noncommittal. Definitely don't go for any romance until you're comfortable with trusting her and you know her better. Sometimes you should trust your neurosis, and this might be one of those cases. I had a Chinese girl (by girl I mean a 30 year old) I barely knew propose marriage to me over the phone one time and try to move in with me to have kids. I'm not suggesting that's a norm, but that kind of stuff does exist in the world, and you don't want it to be an early romantic experience. There could be cultural pressures for her that you don't understand well, and it's a good idea to move slowly so you don't miss picking up on important details. She probably isn't very familiar with american attitudes about sexual experiences, and you can bet that her family isn't comfortable with them. Stay friends long enough for you to have a decent understanding of her and her expectations. Don't listen to the gung-ho frat-boy advice you're getting in this thread. It's bad advice.

Also don't beat yourself up. There's no reason to tell her you want to date her unless that's the only thing on your mind. There is nothing wrong with getting to know somebody before you decide what you want to tell them. She could probably use a friend anyway, and if she's cool then why not make a new friend.




i like that advice.. thanks. She is 30 too btw

so um... how do i bring it up to her that i want her to buy her own food lol


--------------------
It has been reported that some victims of torture, during the act, would retreat into a fantasy world from which they could not wake up. In this catatonic state, the victim lived in a world just like their normal one, except they weren’t being tortured. The only way that they realized they needed to wake up was a note they found in their fantasy world. It would tell them about their condition, and tell them to wake up. Even then, it would often take months until they were ready to discard their fantasy world and please wake up.


Edited by evenbreak (11/07/15 12:54 PM)


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InvisibleMr.GuessWork
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Re: tell me how to hang out with this massage parlor girl [Re: evenbreak]
    #22490708 - 11/07/15 12:58 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

:lol: I don't know. I'd try to do it indirectly. Maybe say you can't afford dinner for both of you or something. This is one of those situations where directness might be considered offensive. Don't beat yourself up for fumbling around a bit.


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: tell me how to hang out with this massage parlor girl [Re: evenbreak]
    #22490713 - 11/07/15 01:00 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

I don't think that will be easy, but it might be a good test of her character to see how she responds.  Maybe drop some hints that you've been eating out too much since you started hanging out together, and it is hurting your wallet.  If you are inviting her, I think it is only fair that you pay, but if it is a mutual thing you'll just have to do like you say, be honest and transparent about your feelings. 

It's not always easy but it's never the wrong thing to do in my opinion.  We're all kinda conditioned to tell little lies and put on fronts to impress others, so it is brave to be able to defy those conventions and talk out something that is bothering you.  If she reacts badly, I think that would be a legit reason to write her off.


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OfflineP.Zappatecorum
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Re: tell me how to hang out with this massage parlor girl [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #22490741 - 11/07/15 01:07 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Dude, yeah, I would just straight out say hey, "I'd like to go out but I'm a little low on funds, would you mind splitting the bill this time?" in the planning stage before you get to the restaurant.  If she balks at that, she's a bitch, if she offers to just buy the entire meal, she's a keeper.  :lol: 

At 30 and her being from an Asian culture, she might be feeling the "clock is ticking" kind of pressure from her friends and family, so worrying about the marriage thing might actually make sense in your case.  The way I see it is that it is usurious and cruel to string along women who are ready to settle down and don't have much time left in terms of childbearing.  Don't waste her time if that's not what you want and she is thinking of it that way.

You should tell her straight up that you're just not looking for a committed relationship or thinking about marriage at this point in your life.  If she's desperate for that you'll know from her response.  How old are you?  Is this chick way older or are you around the same age?  The way you were talking I figured you were like 22. :lol:


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Invisibleevenbreak
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Registered: 01/16/11
Posts: 583
Re: tell me how to hang out with this massage parlor girl [Re: P.Zappatecorum]
    #22490825 - 11/07/15 01:25 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

but do you see now? im not completely crazy or neurotic.. i actually have pretty good instincts on whats going on here. i am 26 btw.

this just sucks because i dont want to hurt anybody's feelings so i want to avoid uncomfortable topics...

but it would be worse to lead her on so i have to, i think. o well i set up another hangout with her on thursday so ill see how it goes...


--------------------
It has been reported that some victims of torture, during the act, would retreat into a fantasy world from which they could not wake up. In this catatonic state, the victim lived in a world just like their normal one, except they weren’t being tortured. The only way that they realized they needed to wake up was a note they found in their fantasy world. It would tell them about their condition, and tell them to wake up. Even then, it would often take months until they were ready to discard their fantasy world and please wake up.


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