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Anonymous #1
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Tips and/or advice on how to get out of a deep depression.
#22468064 - 11/02/15 07:16 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Hello. I don't want to go into full details because of security reasons but I will explain what I feel is necessary. For the past 5 years or so I have been deeply depressed. It has only gotten worse over the years and I feel that it is continuing to get worse. Approximately 6 or 7 years ago I was put on various anti-depressant medications and saw a counselor, as well as a psychiatrist. I stopped using the medication altogether and stopped seeing any type of mental healthcare doctors approximately two years ago. One of the reasons for doing so was because I didn't trust the doctors and the medications I was on. Another and perhaps even greater reason for doing so was because I felt that I was weak minded for having to take medications just to be "normal" (term used loosely).
Nowadays I hardly have any motivation to do anything I used to like partaking in-I rarely play guitar anymore, I rarely skateboard, and I hardly go outside of the house. I still go to the gym approximately 3 or 4 times a week though. I used to go about 5 to 6 times a week. Due to living conditions I do not know anyone in my current area so I do not speak to anyone besides people on these forums and my family members on occasion. It's very hard for me to trust anyone because I've always moved across country to different areas my entire life and have never been in the same area for a long period of time so I've never really had many friends. I've had a friend or two here and there but no one that I'd consider a close friend.
Currently I do not use any drugs but for nearly the past decade I was a daily weed smoker and for a while I was using psychedelics weekly (LSD and mushrooms). Since I've stopped using drugs I don't feel like my mental health has improved any. In fact I believe it has gotten worse but on a side-note, during the time period I quit using drugs there were also some pretty major life changes so I can't contribute it to abstaining from drugs. I still think about smoking weed pretty much every day. I also dream every single night and more than often, portions of my dreams consist of me smoking weed or trying to score weed.
I'll end this thread now. If anyone who has been in my shoes at one time in their life and/or someone that cares to, can give me some advice or suggestions I'd appreciate it. I was reading that being depressed actually shortens one's lifespan. I've been like this for approximately 5 years now and even that seems like a very, very long time. I still have a lot of life left to live and I don't want to be like this till the day I am gone. I feel like already I'm living trapped inside my own thoughts. Being depressed for this long and to this extent is negatively effecting literally every single aspect of my life. Bye for now.
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Roostertail

Registered: 09/27/15
Posts: 300
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
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Re: Tips and/or advice on how to get out of a deep depression. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#22468098 - 11/02/15 07:23 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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It's therapeutic to write out your feelings.
I experience depression as well.
It seems as though going to the gym should alleviate some of your symptoms.
I have been told that I need to make my own opportunities.
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HardTrippin
The Ambivalent



Registered: 11/05/09
Posts: 1,303
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 7 years, 4 months
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Re: Tips and/or advice on how to get out of a deep depression. [Re: Roostertail]
#22468172 - 11/02/15 07:41 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Stoicism. Find Enchiridion by Epictetus. It should be online for free. Also, Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. Seriously man, it does wonders. Also, eat well and exercise. Try to get out if you can bring yourself to do so. You need a new model for your life. Stoicism can help with that.
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"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment" - Ralph Waldo Emerson
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HardTrippin
The Ambivalent



Registered: 11/05/09
Posts: 1,303
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 7 years, 4 months
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Re: Tips and/or advice on how to get out of a deep depression. [Re: HardTrippin]
#22468192 - 11/02/15 07:44 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Here is the 'live like a stoic for a week' handbook. It can be immensely valuable too. https://ukcognitive.files.wordpress.com/2014/11/stoic_week_2014_handbook.pdf
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"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment" - Ralph Waldo Emerson
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zZZz
jesus


Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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Re: Tips and/or advice on how to get out of a deep depression. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#22468226 - 11/02/15 07:50 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Why are u depressed?..
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SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



Registered: 07/21/08
Posts: 8,759
Loc: Ontario, Canada,
Last seen: 2 hours, 4 minutes
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Re: Tips and/or advice on how to get out of a deep depression. [Re: HardTrippin]
#22468257 - 11/02/15 07:56 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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i relate to a lot of what you said OP, i dunno if i have any suggestions looks like youre on top of things, the gym thing is very important.
is your depression caused by isolation? i have problems with isolation, i dont see my friends often or socialize though id like too, and i feel like that takes a toll on my mental health.
i dont think psychedelics had much to do with making things worse for you, just seems like a problem due to shitty living circumstances.
me personally have goals that i want to accomplish in my life, and i get joy waking up and doing what i can to work towards achieving them.
i think having some sort of reason to get up in the morning and working towards something is what really helps drag someone out of the blues.
really hope things get better for you.
-------------------- My Drawingzz Draw DMT!
   Trip Report: SHROOMS DMT---- My Youtube Psychedelic Channel
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shr
all hail discordia



Registered: 08/12/10
Posts: 557
Last seen: 6 years, 7 days
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Re: Tips and/or advice on how to get out of a deep depression. [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#22478537 - 11/04/15 09:50 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Get your health back. Eat right, go to the gym if you feel like it. Don't force yourself to go to the gym if you don't have the energy. Your body may need a break.
Eat more fruits and veggies. Have a green drink for breakfast. Natural vitamins and antioxidants do wonderful things for your well being. Do this consistently for months before you decide whether or not it's worth your time.
If possible, get a job where you talk to people.
Also, create things. Write poetry, short stories, music, whatever you like. This is extremely therapeutic
Go to a support group.
Listen to positive audio tapes every day. Even if you don't want to, even if all you want to do is reject the positivity, expose yourself to it. There are loads of vids on youtube. Try Infinite Waters, he is a super positive dude.
Find a philosophy that works for you. I like Buddhism. Ajahn Brahm is a great Buddhist speaker. Your life revolves around philosophy; it is how you view the world. Adopt a positive philosophy
"All things pass". Remember that. You'll come out of this a far stronger person that you went into it. Consider that perhaps life is preparing you for a greater purpose.
Edited by shr (11/04/15 09:53 PM)
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champinhom
Lord Justhappensness


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 987
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Re: Tips and/or advice on how to get out of a deep depression. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#22483797 - 11/05/15 11:02 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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I will not reply to an anonymous poster who doesn't have the decency to revisit his own posts. I consider this guy a troll.
-------------------- My father used to say: I don't care what else you do in life, just don't be an asshole. People, forgive me when I forget what my daddy said. Cut back the proliferating list of people whose opinions can hurt you. Unless they have done or want to do you some good, their views are just not worth tracking. Saul Bellow “People are just cannibals unless they leave each other alone.” Doris Lessing Those whom the gods would save, they dower with compassion. Mr. P. Silocybin
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head



Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 8,781
Loc: straya
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
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Re: Tips and/or advice on how to get out of a deep depression. [Re: champinhom]
#22483887 - 11/05/15 11:17 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Sometimes it's embarrassing to expose yourself like this and you think maybe you shouldn't have done it... so you don't come back.
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Tips and/or advice on how to get out of a deep depression. [Re: circastes]
#22486202 - 11/06/15 01:41 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Hello everyone. I am back. I go on this forum often now because this is the only place that I get to talk to people and have full conversations with others. Honestly though, I'm sort of trying to stop going on so much because I have become very preoccupied with reading and posting on here for the past 7 months or so. At first I only used this website to read articles pertaining to information on mushrooms and LSD. Then after about half a year or so of becoming a member I started posting a lot more frequently. I went from approximately a couple hundred posts to begin with, (before I became "obsessed", for a lack of a better term, to nearly 2,000 posts in under a year...) I really do apologize that you folks have given me advice and I didn't respond to all of you. I hadn't checked this thread until now because after I made the thread I became fearful of others posting comments such as "get over it" or "what are you so depressed about" and other remarks like these. Stupid? Yeah... probably... I used to think and say all the time that I didn't care what anyone else thought about me but I've come to realize over the past couple years that I actually do. I will now reply to everyone who took their time to comment on my thread thread. Thank you.
@Roostertail: Yes, I feel it is therapeutic to write down my feelings and thoughts. More than often I don't let anyone know how I'm really feeling, especially outside of the forums because I don't think anyone I know really can empathize with me. I also feel like I'm being a burden to others when I share my negative thoughts to them. It makes them feel awkward and they usually don't know what to say besides things like, "it will get better" and "it will be okay"... things like that. Going to the gym used to be something I did very frequently. I would go approximately 5 or 6 times a week. Now I only go about 3 or 4 times a week and sometimes less than that. I will never stop going altogether though because I want to have a healthy body and get stronger.
@HardTrippin: Thank you for this advice on reading about Stoicism. I am reading it now and I'm on Tuesday. I'm also taking down notes as I go along because I would surely forget most of what I read if I didn't. I think it may be very hard for me to truly believe and follow the beliefs that are being taught in this handbook but I am definitely willing to give it a try. I think it can only be beneficial. I like these two quotes especially because I often feel that I get hung up on things that I have no control over... Here they are, "Some things are under my control and other things are not." and "what is beyond my control is indifferent to me." Again, thank you for suggestion. It's a long read but I will definitely finish it.
@zZZZz: There are a number of things that I feel depressed about. Some of them being: I feel that I missed out on a lot of things during my childhood and I am at the stage of my life where I am expected to be "grown up" now. I've never felt that I really belonged anywhere because I have always moved throughout my life. I was never in the same school for more than a year and a half except during my primary schooling years (kindergarten to the 4th grade). After 4th grade I began to move nearly every year or two. And not just to a different town or neighborhood. I was moved across country. With all the moving I did I was never really able to make friends. Part of that was most likely on my behalf because I am a shy person to begin with. But over the years I have become very paranoid and not trusting of others so now I'm not even sure If I'd be able to become close with others. I'm not very strong minded because I don't really know who I am or what I want to do in life...
@SleepyE: I think a lot of it has to do with isolation. I've never been in a serious relationship (I'm not counting middle school or jr. high short lived romances...) nor have I had more than a couple friends anywhere I've lived. After a while though we just stop talking altogether and then some time after I move again without letting them know or ever talking to them again. It's like I just disappear. It goes from us hanging out to us not talking for months then to me moving and not telling them or ever speaking to them again. There are a few people that I've met in my lifetime though that I once considered close friends.
@Shr: Thank you for the suggestions. Right now I'd consider myself in pretty decent shape. I'm not overweight but not skinny. I have a decent muscular figure-I'm not ripped or anything but my chest and arms are above average you could say. I'll try eating more fruits and vegetables. I really like bananas, oranges, and peaches. Maybe having a healthier diet and more fit figure will bring on a positive mental attitude. By support group what do you mean? Is it like clubs that pertain to various interests? Like say a photography club, a reading club, an art club, etc. Right now my only philosophy is, "don't do things to others that you don't want them to do to you." I feel that I can empathize with others pretty well. A lot of times even if I see someone on TV or somewhere else crying I get very teary eyed.
@champinhom: I can see where you are coming from... I don't blame you. I can assure you though that I am not a troll. I apologize.
@circastes: I don't expose who I am because yes, you can say that I am embarrassed to show who I really am. Embarrassed isn't even the right word honestly but I don't know which other term to use... Maybe ashamed would be a slightly better word to use, I don't really know. I have just checked this thread today because after making it I started to think that the comments would say things like, "What are you so depressed about..?" or "Some people have it worse." and remarks like that.
Bye for now everyone.
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RJ Tubs 202



Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
Last seen: 6 hours, 6 minutes
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Re: Tips and/or advice on how to get out of a deep depression. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#22489049 - 11/07/15 01:28 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Depression is often rooted in self-hatred and fueled by negative thinking. Self-compassion is critical to feeling better.
I lived in a car once, so know the struggle. A few thoughts below . . .
Don't wish that your life was different. That is the road to Hell. Feeling that life should be different is pure suffering.
Notice the negative thoughts you have and realize as they pop up (repeatedly), you can recognize them as just thoughts and not reality. Give your negative personality a name, such as Gunter.
Depression involves self-absorption. The depressed mind thinks about Me Me Me. The more inward we focus, the more unhappy we are.
Don't believe what your mind tells you, and don't take your emotions too seriously. Yes, this is tough to do, but worth considering. When we give a lot of weight to our thoughts, we buy into the lies our minds tell us.
The mind churns out a lot of bullshit, and it's important remember that fact constantly. Don't try to get rid of your disturbing thoughts or emotions, as that makes them stronger. Just observe them and try to let them wash though you without resistance.
I wish you well.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Tips and/or advice on how to get out of a deep depression. [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
#22489455 - 11/07/15 07:51 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Damn... you are right. Most of my negative thoughts are all about me and what I wish was different about my life. I'm going to have to try to not let the negative thoughts effect me so much. When these kind of thoughts are racing through my head do I just literally say to myself (in my head) that the thoughts I'm having are bullshit or not true?
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yogabunny
fancy cat



Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 11,281
Loc: Nasty Women Get Shit Done
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Re: Tips and/or advice on how to get out of a deep depression. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#22489480 - 11/07/15 07:59 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: Hello. I don't want to go into full details because of security reasons but I will explain what I feel is necessary. For the past 5 years or so I have been deeply depressed. It has only gotten worse over the years and I feel that it is continuing to get worse. Approximately 6 or 7 years ago I was put on various anti-depressant medications and saw a counselor, as well as a psychiatrist. I stopped using the medication altogether and stopped seeing any type of mental healthcare doctors approximately two years ago. One of the reasons for doing so was because I didn't trust the doctors and the medications I was on. Another and perhaps even greater reason for doing so was because I felt that I was weak minded for having to take medications just to be "normal" (term used loosely).
Nowadays I hardly have any motivation to do anything I used to like partaking in-I rarely play guitar anymore, I rarely skateboard, and I hardly go outside of the house. I still go to the gym approximately 3 or 4 times a week though. I used to go about 5 to 6 times a week. Due to living conditions I do not know anyone in my current area so I do not speak to anyone besides people on these forums and my family members on occasion. It's very hard for me to trust anyone because I've always moved across country to different areas my entire life and have never been in the same area for a long period of time so I've never really had many friends. I've had a friend or two here and there but no one that I'd consider a close friend.
First of all:
You are not alone. So many people go through the exact same struggles, so just know if nothing else, that you are not alone.
May I ask - when you were on your medication were you able to play guitar, skateboard, etc?
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yogabunny
fancy cat



Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 11,281
Loc: Nasty Women Get Shit Done
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Re: Tips and/or advice on how to get out of a deep depression. [Re: champinhom]
#22489490 - 11/07/15 08:00 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
champinhom said: I will not reply to an anonymous poster who doesn't have the decency to revisit his own posts. I consider this guy a troll.
FYI: this forum is not quite as active as others. Sometimes people can take days to come back and respond. It's only been 4 days since the OP, so simmer down please.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Tips and/or advice on how to get out of a deep depression. [Re: yogabunny]
#22489561 - 11/07/15 08:21 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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I played my guitar and skateboarded a lot more when I was on medication. I was on various antidepressants before settling on two different ones (one was taken in the morning and the other at night). I believe one was fluoxetine and the other was lamotrigine. I'm fairly positive those were the two I was on for an extended period of time... As you know from my OP, now I am no longer on any medication. I haven't been on any pharmaceuticals for about two years. Maybe even a little bit longer. Now I only play my guitar once or twice a week for a total of maybe 30 minutes to an hour-if that. And I haven't skateboarded in weeks... I rarely do both because every time that I get on my skateboard or start playing guitar I think to myself things like, "wow I f***ing suck." and other really negative thoughts about my level of skill. So it takes the fun out of doing it.
I haven't taken any psychedelic drugs in nearly two months (weed included) but honestly, I did Ritalin and Kratom (not at the same time) two times each in the past couple months out of boredom and literally just wanting to get high... I think I may have a slightly addictive personality because even though the first time using these two substances the effects sucked I went back a few weeks later and tried them both again just in order to feel some kind of high. Everyday I think about smoking weed or using LSD or mushrooms. I dream literally every night and even in a lot of my dreams I am smoking weed or trying to buy weed.
I'm going to use some of the tactics/techniques that HardTrippin and RJ Tubs 202 suggested. It may be really hard for me to actually believe in these new beliefs but I'm willing to give it a shot... Truthfully, I really don't want to be put on any medications again. 
Thank you for replying yogabunny. I hope to see you around in the future. Have a good day.
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yogabunny
fancy cat



Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 11,281
Loc: Nasty Women Get Shit Done
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Re: Tips and/or advice on how to get out of a deep depression. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#22489569 - 11/07/15 08:24 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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As much as you don't want to, it might be a good idea to go back on medication just so you can get to a place where you WANT to do those things again. When your mood is a little bit more balanced and uplifted from medication maybe you can make a plan to implement diet and lifestyle changes to eventually ween yourself off your medicine.
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SleepyE
DMT is metaphysical



Registered: 07/21/08
Posts: 8,759
Loc: Ontario, Canada,
Last seen: 2 hours, 4 minutes
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Re: Tips and/or advice on how to get out of a deep depression. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#22489771 - 11/07/15 09:23 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: Everyday I think about smoking weed or using LSD or mushrooms. I dream literally every night and even in a lot of my dreams I am smoking weed or trying to buy weed. .
ahah i was the same when i went straight edge for a year, was dreaming constantly about finding mushrooms randomly and feeling an incredible urge to dose.
i doubt youll stay straight edge for too much longer, i know i didnt. 
but being a psychedelic user is just who i am, only i know how to respect it now and dont use it haphazardly.
-------------------- My Drawingzz Draw DMT!
   Trip Report: SHROOMS DMT---- My Youtube Psychedelic Channel
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Tips and/or advice on how to get out of a deep depression. [Re: SleepyE] 1
#22490074 - 11/07/15 10:30 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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@SleepyE: There are two reasons why I am abstaining from drugs (or trying to):
1. I'm currently looking for a job. 2. I thought maybe if I take a hiatus it will improve my mental health (so far not improving at all.) (not in any specific order.)
It is very tempting because I know that the drugs I would like to be taking are very easily obtainable. With that being said... I've gone this long without them so I know I can go a little bit longer. I'm mostly looking forward to smoking weed... I love not just the effects but the "ritual", if you want to call it that, of smoking... Picking out a nice bud, grinding it up, packing it in a bowl, literally smoking it, listening to tunes, and so on.
@yogabunny: Maybe you are right... And I really do appreciate your advice. I know it may seem like I don't because I still have the thought in mind that I'm going to give various philosophies and a healthier diet a try before I go back to using medication again but I really do. Thank you.
By the way, I'm feeling a little better today than usual. I listened to some Alan Watts videos and have been thinking about what you folks suggested. Wow... I really appreciate it everyone. I've also been spending more time than usual with some pets and I really enjoy their company.
EDIT: grammar
Edited by Anonymous (11/07/15 10:36 AM)
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yogabunny
fancy cat



Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 11,281
Loc: Nasty Women Get Shit Done
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Re: Tips and/or advice on how to get out of a deep depression. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#22490328 - 11/07/15 11:20 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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That's awesome, happy to hear it!
Love Alan Watts...his short speech "What if Money was no object" is always super inspiring if you haven't heard it yet, give it a listen!
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RJ Tubs 202



Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
Last seen: 6 hours, 6 minutes
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Re: Tips and/or advice on how to get out of a deep depression. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#22495147 - 11/08/15 10:56 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: Damn... you are right. Most of my negative thoughts are all about me and what I wish was different about my life. I'm going to have to try to not let the negative thoughts effect me so much. When these kind of thoughts are racing through my head do I just literally say to myself (in my head) that the thoughts I'm having are bullshit or not true?
The most important thing is to simply recognize the thought stream, and realize the mind is constantly producing negativity, especially judgments (about our self and others). Meditation is an effective way to learn about the mind. Meditation is not a technique to clear the mind, (we can't stop the flow of thoughts without drugs). Meditation is a method to observe clearly what's going on in the mind. We make ourselves miserable by believing our negative thoughts, and in order to avoid doing this, we must know what they are. Make a list of your most common negative thoughts, and read it each morning so during the day, you remember they're not true. I'm sure your list is similar to mine and everyone else. We are all in this together.
There are estimates as much as 80% of our thoughts are negative. Negativity and anxiety are highly adaptive important traits that were critical to the evolution of our species and helped our ancestors survive in the wild. Our minds are much more attracted to the negative than the positive. When we wake up in the middle of the night, do we think of something positive, or something negative? At the end of the workday, do we talk about what went well during the day, or the stuff that pissed us off? This is how we are wired. It is not a mental illness.
Edited by RJ Tubs 202 (11/08/15 11:07 AM)
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head



Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 8,781
Loc: straya
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
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Re: Tips and/or advice on how to get out of a deep depression. [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
#22503305 - 11/10/15 01:37 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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You may have to wait it out and let your brain recover from whatever has happened to it, from stress to drugs you can easily damage or disrupt it.
And it DOES recover, unless you have a spear go into your brain or something.
I'm just getting my emotions back ... it's fucking wonderful man! Listening to this right now
And it's just blowing my mind, so much is going on in this track ... (for me, right now)
Good luck!
Music might alleviate some of the pain
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
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RJ Tubs 202



Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
Last seen: 6 hours, 6 minutes
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Re: Tips and/or advice on how to get out of a deep depression. [Re: circastes]
#22506311 - 11/10/15 05:53 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Something else that helps a lot with depression is sober sleep.
Mind altering chemicals negatively effect the quality of sleep. Sober sleep is critical to mental health.
Without sober sleep we're sleep deprived, and there are major repercussions, including depression.
From the age 17 to 45 I probably had less than fifty nights of sober sleep.
Sober sleep has totally change my life. It's as if I have a new brain, now that I get good quality sleep.
It has massively change my mood. I wish I would have known this decades ago.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Tips and/or advice on how to get out of a deep depression. [Re: RJ Tubs 202] 1
#22506423 - 11/10/15 06:19 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Hey guys, what's up?
Hi RJ, by sober sleep do you mean that you don't use drugs during the night time or that you don't use drugs at all (the only drugs that I use are weed, mushrooms, LSD, and on a rare occasion some type of stimulant-usually amphetamine salts XR which is like Adderall) But I haven't used weed, mushrooms, LSD, or amphetamine salts XR in months. I typically go to bed around 11-12 every night and wake up around 8-9 in the morning. I dream every single night. Ever since I stopped using weed which was two months ago I've noticed that I remember my dreams every night. Maybe it is due to the weed but also during the time period that I stopped smoking weed a major change in my life occurred so I'm not sure which one is the main factor.
My day to day mood is improving little by little. I'm not as depressed as I was about a week or two ago. I was barely talking at all, 90% of my thoughts were about how I thought my life was complete shit and how it would never improve, and constantly reminding myself how lonely I am. In the past week or two I'll have a streak of two days where I'll feel content and then maybe for the next day or two I'll go back to feeling very sad (or angry about my life situation and my family) but like I said things are getting a little better. I appreciate it so much that you folks have given me advice and suggestions on how to get out of my depressive state that I've been in for a long time now. Thank you so much everyone.
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RJ Tubs 202



Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
Last seen: 6 hours, 6 minutes
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Re: Tips and/or advice on how to get out of a deep depression. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#22506983 - 11/10/15 08:33 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Glad you are doing better.
And good job on getting a full night sleep. That's so important. And not easy for many people . . . to be disciplined.
By sober sleep I mean sleeping without drugs in the body, so I mean no drugs. If I smoke weed in the morning and then nothing else the rest of the day, for me, my sleep is still very effected. I'm not stoned when I go to bed, but I still don't sleep like I would if I had not smoked. When I smoke weed, and then stop, it takes at least a week for me to sleep well (and remember my dreams, like you say) and it takes another two to three weeks for me to finally get back to feeling totally normal.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Tips and/or advice on how to get out of a deep depression. [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
#22518725 - 11/13/15 04:06 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Thank you. I started a job. I feel like shit again today.
Yeah. I started setting an alarm clock about a week or two ago. 1. because I wanted to stop going to bed so late. 2. other reasons I needed to for. If I go to bed very late & wake up late for a few nights in a row that'll become my schedule for however long until I decide to change it. (Or any others times)
I see... I see what you mean. When I was smoking heavily I would go to bed late every night. My reason/excuse that I'd think to myself: there is no reason to go to sleep now. I'll live out the day to its most and continue to smoke throughout the night. I was smoking several times a day for years. I took a 100% break from weed for some months but I just smoked one single hit from a bong an hour or so ago and now I can't get my thoughts away from something that I feel like shit about that happened today at the job I started. Fuck. Not what I expected.
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RJ Tubs 202



Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
Last seen: 6 hours, 6 minutes
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Re: Tips and/or advice on how to get out of a deep depression. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#22521519 - 11/14/15 09:19 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
When I was smoking heavily I would go to bed late every night. My reason/excuse that I'd think to myself: there is no reason to go to sleep now. I'll live out the day to its most and continue to smoke throughout the night.
For decades I'd stay up very late smoking pot and eating and wouldn't get much sleep. I was ignoring the significant impact of not getting enough sleep. I'd struggle thru each day using caffeine, and then do it again the next night. For decades I did this. Part of addiction is the inability to look ahead to tomorrow and the future and notice how our current decisions, today, effect our happiness. The worst hangover in the world doesn't keep a drunk from drinking again.
I falsely believed pot helped me "relax", but when I stopped, I realized pot makes me very anxious. My repetitive negative thinking increases 10 fold when I smoke. I hate myself and all of life when I smoke. The crazy thing is, I still want to get stoned almost every day, even though it causes me so much misery.
When we do anything repeatedly . . . drugs, video games, gambling, porn . . . it changes the wiring of the brain, and the behavior can become a compulsion, where the goal of engaging in the behavior is not the pleasure it brings, but relief of the anxiety of the urge that has been created by repetition.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Tips and/or advice on how to get out of a deep depression. [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
#22523498 - 11/14/15 05:08 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
RJ Tubs 202 said:
Quote:
Anonymous said:
When I was smoking heavily I would go to bed late every night. My reason/excuse that I'd think to myself: there is no reason to go to sleep now. I'll live out the day to its most and continue to smoke throughout the night.
For decades I'd stay up very late smoking pot and eating and wouldn't get much sleep. I was ignoring the significant impact of not getting enough sleep. I'd struggle thru each day using caffeine, and then do it again the next night. For decades I did this. Part of addiction is the inability to look ahead to tomorrow and the future and notice how our current decisions, today, effect our happiness. The worst hangover in the world doesn't keep a drunk from drinking again.
I falsely believed pot helped me "relax", but when I stopped, I realized pot makes me very anxious. My repetitive negative thinking increases 10 fold when I smoke. I hate myself and all of life when I smoke. The crazy thing is, I still want to get stoned almost every day, even though it causes me so much misery.
When we do anything repeatedly . . . drugs, video games, gambling, porn . . . it changes the wiring of the brain, and the behavior can become a compulsion, where the goal of engaging in the behavior is not the pleasure it brings, but relief of the anxiety of the urge that has been created by repetition.
This seems to be the same scenario for me (the text that is in bold letters). Yesterday when I smoked pot for the first time in months (it was less than even a .2, literally a single small hit). I couldn't stop thinking about mistakes that I made at work or how stupid I thought I looked in front of my peers when another employee belittled me. The same thing happened the time before that when I smoked... I constantly thought about the mistakes I thought I made throughout the course of that day and what others may have thought of me when I made those mistakes... Yet every single day I still want to smoke. I even dream about smoking or trying to score weed. I am almost constantly wanting to do some type of drug.
Today I went outside because it was very nice out and while I was out I had the desire to score weed so I went to various parks in my area actively looking for someone who I could purchase from. I didn't have any luck so when I got home I contemplated doing some other kind of drug. Eventually I settled on salvia plain leaf. This did nothing for my craving.
I wish I had some friends. Just people who I can spend some time with. It makes me feel bad that I literally have zero friends. I just relocated back to an area where I used to live years ago but I don't know anyone or remember anyone from the school I went to. I didn't have any friends at that school to begin with. I think even if I tried to, it'd be very awkward trying to reach out to old classmates after all this time. Shit. I'm babbling. I'm sorry... What do you do yourself to make the urges to do drugs subside?
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RJ Tubs 202



Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
Last seen: 6 hours, 6 minutes
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Re: Tips and/or advice on how to get out of a deep depression. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#22530139 - 11/15/15 11:40 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Don't apologize for babbling . . . this is a message board. It's what we do 
And consider sharing your first name. That might feel good. I've lived an anonymous life for many years, as have many. It takes courage to come out of the closet. You are worthy of having a name and identity.
Accept the urges without resistance. It really can help to give the voice in your head a name, so when you hear it, the request to get high is associated with that character. "Smokey", "Billy-Bob Bongo" or whatever seems right. Always remember the urge is only a thought. Think about how you feel after getting high, and realize the voice is not asking you to act in your best interest. The Voice uses tricky tactics to try to get us to act out.
I've had very few friends in my life, until recently when I joined a meditation group. In the group I met someone who invited me to a recovery group (if you're not religious, like me, there are recovery groups that aren't AA). Then I was invited to a book group. Suddenly I have lots of friends! Human interaction really helps me during times when the "Beast" (my name for my addictive voice) is revved up, agitated, and wanting to get high.
TV, video games, and computers generally do not nourish us like human interaction. Before you do something, ask yourself, "Does this nourish me?".
I recommend joining some type of group. Anything. You don't have to love the focus/subject. A bowling team, arts and crafts class, volunteer organization, model trains, shooting target practice, hiking club, photography class, book club, recovery group. There are many groups to join. Don't worry about fitting in or even being around people your age. Reach out and find people. People will welcome you. It's important to not smoke so your anxiety will not be off the charts.
On the other hand, read a book or two on self-hatred and depression, because being able to be by yourself and be peaceful and at ease is very important. Nobody can save you or me from our loneliness - we have to figure that out our self.
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ShroomerInTheRye
Clit Commander



Registered: 01/12/12
Posts: 13,036
Loc: Themyscira
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Re: Tips and/or advice on how to get out of a deep depression. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#22555330 - 11/21/15 12:31 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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I was officially diagnosed with major depressive disorder in 2007. At first, I took all of the medications they gave me, but it really only made everything worse. I'm one of those people who gets really suicidal on SSRIs. I was hospitalized in 2008 for depression and an attempt on my own life.
You might find this study interesting to read. It's a study about the quality of life of depressed people.
It seems to come and go in waves, really. This time of year, my Season Affective Disorder kicks in and I have a really hard time getting out of bed and functioning. I am a totally miserable person to be around at times. I know it sounds silly, but I have been known to have a complete crying jag right in the middle of the grocery store for no reason at all. It just sort of comes on and I can't stop it.
Like you, I find that things I used to love don't really make me happy anymore. I played the piano and was even writing a rock opera before depression came in for the knockout. None of that makes me happy anymore, really. Honestly, sitting in front of a piano makes me really depressed. Probably because it reminds me of the times my friends and I sat around a piano when I was younger, playing music, laughing, and doing whatever else was fun.
A therapist told me once that the key to happiness is altruism. When she told me that, at first, I was pissed as all hell. I thought it was complete crap and I was really angry I was paying $125 an hour for that. Turns out, she was right. I joined a volunteer group that donates mammograms and pap smears to uninsured/under insured women in my area. We also do school supply drives and toy drives for kids at this inner city school. This time of year (the holidays) especially gets me down, but I have to admit, it brings tears of joy to my eyes when I see the little thank you cards that the kids drew by hand for us giving them toys and school supplies. I even made lifelong friends in that group who understand that there's going to be parts of the year where I'm a miserable person, and it's not personal. It's just depression.
I guess what I'm trying to say here is that depression changes you...profoundly. It makes sense to me that things you liked before don't give you the same joy. Even though you can't get out of bed some days, you just have to force yourself to do it. Even if you do nothing more than wake up, drink a cup of coffee, and spend all day crying...at least its something. Try finding new things that give you joy. For me, it was volunteering for this organization. It helped me feel not so worthless and self loathing.
For what it's worth, you're not alone, even if you feel like you're all alone.
Thank you for your bravery in reaching out.
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<-- Clicky Clicky
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RJ Tubs 202



Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
Last seen: 6 hours, 6 minutes
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Re: Tips and/or advice on how to get out of a deep depression. [Re: ShroomerInTheRye]
#22558695 - 11/22/15 08:55 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
ShroomerInTheRye said:
A therapist told me once that the key to happiness is altruism.
I agree. The more inwardly focused we are the more miserable we are.
The more outwardly focused we are, the more peace we experience.
It is said that depression is anger turned inward. I find this to be accurate.
And that we have 40,000-60,000 thoughts a day, and as many as 80% are negative.
If we don't implement cognitive tools to neutralize our negative thinking and our self-hatred, we are all at risk for depression.
It's often claimed that depression, anxiety, and alcoholism have strong genetic factors, and are passed down generations. But many researchers disagree, and say that parents without the mental health tools to deal with these issues pass their lack of skills onto their kids. Kids are conditioned to become depressed when they have a depressed parent. And when Johnny watches Dad get drunk every night, he learns that's the normal way to deal with life's challenges, so that's how he copes when he grows up.
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theonlysun81
Long Time Lurker, Recent Member



Registered: 05/11/12
Posts: 1,712
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: Tips and/or advice on how to get out of a deep depression. [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
#22558747 - 11/22/15 09:13 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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foodsgoodtoo
FPSnosurrender



Registered: 02/13/09
Posts: 3,720
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Re: Tips and/or advice on how to get out of a deep depression. [Re: theonlysun81]
#22561824 - 11/23/15 12:06 AM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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some of the best zen reading is teslas own written biography. not probably gonna pull you out but its super fun and enjoyable.
some reason better when accompanied with a sort of episode. i have to wonder if everybody has read it...
Edited by foodsgoodtoo (11/23/15 12:15 AM)
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m4dScientist
Music Always Helps


Registered: 08/04/14
Posts: 1,616
Last seen: 10 months, 25 days
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Re: Tips and/or advice on how to get out of a deep depression. [Re: foodsgoodtoo]
#22584207 - 11/27/15 09:40 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
foodsgoodtoo said: some of the best zen reading is teslas own written biography. not probably gonna pull you out but its super fun and enjoyable.
some reason better when accompanied with a sort of episode. i have to wonder if everybody has read it...
Can u recommend some readings? That sounds really interesting to me
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foodsgoodtoo
FPSnosurrender



Registered: 02/13/09
Posts: 3,720
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Re: Tips and/or advice on how to get out of a deep depression. [Re: m4dScientist]
#22584316 - 11/27/15 10:09 PM (8 years, 2 months ago) |
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