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OfflineWhoManBeing
PsychedelicYogi
Male User Gallery


Registered: 09/01/13
Posts: 3,773
Loc: Oregon
Last seen: 4 days, 27 minutes
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: billy jowl]
    #22456327 - 10/31/15 01:27 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

A priest, a carpenter and plumber walk into a bar, order their drinks, gives cheer.  The carpenter plays pool, angles and measurements his expertise.  The plumber plays pinball. The priest leans on jukebox taking alms for psalms.


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Hip, hip... WhoRAy!!!

Eye was thinking the other day...  ahh, thinking never done me no good.



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Offlinezappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: WhoManBeing] * 3
    #22457425 - 10/31/15 11:50 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

A couple are on a tryst at a motel room going at it hard and heavy.  In the middle of the action the guy tells the girl, "roll over, i'm going to put it in your ass."  "In my ass?!, the girl says.  " That's pretty presumptuous of you."  "Presumptuous,"  the guy exclaims,  "Presumptuous?", he says again.  "That's a pretty big word for a nine year old."


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OfflineNear Dylan
Shitpost Artist


Registered: 07/29/15
Posts: 13,929
Last seen: 7 days, 18 hours
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: zappaisgod]
    #22457448 - 10/31/15 11:58 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

zappaisgod said:
A couple are on a tryst at a motel room going at it hard and heavy.  In the middle of the action the guy tells the girl, "roll over, i'm going to put it in your ass."  "In my ass?!, the girl says.  " That's pretty presumptuous of you."  "Presumptuous,"  the guy exclaims,  "Presumptuous?", he says again.  "That's a pretty big word for a nine year old."



Classic! I heard a joke like kind of like that, but it went
"I was talking to this hot girl online and she said she was an FBI agent. That's a pretty impressive job for a 9 year old." or something like that


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InvisibleZombi3
Bella Ciao!!
Male User Gallery


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 27,086
Loc: Bat Country Flag
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Near Dylan]
    #22479817 - 11/05/15 07:38 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Gunna give out the account today after I get home in like 3-4 hours so get ya last jokes in my bromigos


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Youve Met With A Terrible Fate, Havent You?

Click here to enter this weeks Ban Lottery!!
In Crust We Trust


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
Mdmazing
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 13,137
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Zombi3] * 2
    #22479954 - 11/05/15 08:07 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

you're toetally awesome zombie :awehigh:


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:
To define is to confine.


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InvisibleJohnnieYen
Okay
I'm a teapot


Registered: 03/15/11
Posts: 3,529
Loc: City Z
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Rebelutionsssss] * 2
    #22480690 - 11/05/15 11:16 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

A little boy goes up to his father and asks: "Dad, what's the difference between hypothetical and reality?"
The father replies: "Well son, I could give you the book definitions, but I feel it could be best to show you by example. Go upstairs and ask your mother if she'd have sex with the mailman for $500,000."

The boy goes and asks his mother: "Mom, would you have sex with the mailman for $500,000?" The mother replies: "Hell yes I would!"

The little boy returns to his father: "Dad, she said 'Hell yes I would!'" The father then says: "Okay, now go and ask your older sister if she'd have sex with her principal for $500,000."
The boy asks his sister: "Would you have sex with your principal for $500,000?" The sister replies: "Hell yes I would!"
He returns to his father: "Dad, she said 'Hell yes I would!'"

The father answers: "Okay son, here's the deal: Hypothetically, we're millionaires, but in reality, we're just living with a couple of whores."


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[center


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OfflinePatlal
You ask too many questions
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Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa Flag
Last seen: 6 hours, 37 minutes
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: JohnnieYen]
    #22480842 - 11/05/15 11:54 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

A poor father and his son live in the woods together. The fridge is almost empty and the dad gives his son the last 50$ he has to go in town and buy groceries.

So the son takes the path in the woods to get to town and walks casually. Suddenly he sees a gloryhole booth giving blowjobs for 50$.... The son looks at the booth then the cash and in the end decides to go for the gloryhole. He figures he'll tell his father that he got robbed or something...

So the son gets a blowjob then waits half an hour to make it seem as if he went to town and then goes back home to his father pretending to be sad that he lost the cash.

When he gets in the house the father has a big smile on his face... The son asks his dad, why are you smiling like that???

The father replies: I just made $50!!!


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Edited by Patlal (11/05/15 12:05 PM)


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Invisiblethelanzii

Registered: 11/13/12
Posts: 5,434
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Patlal]
    #22480948 - 11/05/15 12:24 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

why are black people so tall?
cause their Negroes


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OfflineNear Dylan
Shitpost Artist


Registered: 07/29/15
Posts: 13,929
Last seen: 7 days, 18 hours
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: thelanzii]
    #22481030 - 11/05/15 12:49 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

(knee grows)


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InvisibleShiithead
Your Huckleberry
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Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 9,997
Loc: God's Flat Green Earth
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Near Dylan]
    #22481042 - 11/05/15 12:51 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

God.

Just kidding.




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Ephesians 6:12
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Psalm 12:6
The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times.
Hebrews 11:3
Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.
Revelation 3:11
Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.


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OfflineNear Dylan
Shitpost Artist


Registered: 07/29/15
Posts: 13,929
Last seen: 7 days, 18 hours
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Shiithead]
    #22481129 - 11/05/15 01:09 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

How do you start a rave in africa?
Glue toast to the ceiling


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InvisibleZombi3
Bella Ciao!!
Male User Gallery


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 27,086
Loc: Bat Country Flag
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: SirShroomsAlott]
    #22481490 - 11/05/15 03:07 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

SirShroomsAlott said:
I don't understand why Obama has to give his speeches behind bullet proof glass. I mean,I know he's black and all, but I doubt he'll shoot anyone.



Here's the winning joke with 8 plus ones! Your supporter account will be given to you tonight, congrats SirShroomsAlott!!

Thanks for playing everybody!


--------------------
Youve Met With A Terrible Fate, Havent You?

Click here to enter this weeks Ban Lottery!!
In Crust We Trust


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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs
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Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,359
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Zombi3] * 1
    #22481664 - 11/05/15 03:54 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

that was my favorite joke and yours too Zombi3!

Good work SirShroomsALot :awesome::thumbup:


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Invisiblechameleon303
Male User Gallery


Registered: 10/06/09
Posts: 1,703
Loc: Arcane Sanctuary Flag
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: LogicaL Chaos] * 1
    #22482050 - 11/05/15 05:19 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

a cow jumps out of a plane moo and his chute fails to open, his moo life flashes before his eyes, he hits the ground mooooo, his eyes open to find him self about to jump again moo,he thinks to himself is this what they call a paradox.

i must read threads more before posting haha, great winning joke btw


Edited by chameleon303 (11/05/15 07:03 PM)


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