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OfflineNear Dylan
Shitpost Artist


Registered: 07/29/15
Posts: 13,929
Last seen: 7 days, 17 hours
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: mycopathia]
    #22449479 - 10/29/15 02:40 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

This jokes have hit a new low.
Much like the Jewish population in the 1940s


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InvisibleSirShroomsAlott
Howdy
I'm a teapot


Registered: 05/15/14
Posts: 6,945
Loc: United States Flag
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Near Dylan]
    #22449503 - 10/29/15 02:44 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

:lol:

Jews overreact a lot, I had a jewish girlfriend and I farted on her and she got super offended by it, I tried explaining that a little gas never hurt anyone


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OfflineNear Dylan
Shitpost Artist


Registered: 07/29/15
Posts: 13,929
Last seen: 7 days, 17 hours
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: SirShroomsAlott]
    #22449511 - 10/29/15 02:46 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Some Jewish bitch insulted me the other day.
She was like "The 70s called, they want their hair back!"
So I said "The 40s called, your shower's ready"


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InvisibleJohnnieYen
Okay
I'm a teapot


Registered: 03/15/11
Posts: 3,529
Loc: City Z
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Near Dylan] * 1
    #22449551 - 10/29/15 02:59 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

A man walks into a dentist office and says "help, I think I'm a moth!"
The dentist looks quizzically at him and says" I think you need a psychiatrist, why did you come in here"
man says "the light was on"


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[center


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InvisibleFruitOfLife
Professional Package Handler


Registered: 05/21/12
Posts: 4,832
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: JohnnieYen] * 1
    #22450729 - 10/29/15 07:41 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Women's rights


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Offlineoccollegeboi
MushroomSpaceGod
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/10/11
Posts: 2,857
Last seen: 5 years, 4 months
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: FruitOfLife] * 2
    #22451208 - 10/29/15 09:15 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

So there's 3 vampires in a bar. The bartender says to the first vampire, "What would you like?" and the vampire responds, "Get me a glass of thick blood" and the bartender gets his drink. To the second vampire, bartender asks the same thing and the second one says, "Get me a glass of thin blood." The bartender asks the third vampire what he wants and he responds, "Get me a glass of hot water" and the bartender gives him a strange look and says, "What the hell do you want hot water for??" The third vampire pulls out a used tampon and states, "I only drink tea."


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Invisiblejahrastafareye
Outcarcerated
 User Gallery


Registered: 10/16/13
Posts: 1,898
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Zombi3]
    #22451237 - 10/29/15 09:19 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

What did the man say to the woman with two black eyes? nothing.  He already told her twice.


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OfflineNear Dylan
Shitpost Artist


Registered: 07/29/15
Posts: 13,929
Last seen: 7 days, 17 hours
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: occollegeboi] * 5
    #22452970 - 10/30/15 10:10 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

occollegeboi said:
So there's 3 vampires in a bar. The bartender says to the first vampire, "What would you like?" and the vampire responds, "Get me a glass of thick blood" and the bartender gets his drink. To the second vampire, bartender asks the same thing and the second one says, "Get me a glass of thin blood." The bartender asks the third vampire what he wants and he responds, "Get me a glass of hot water" and the bartender gives him a strange look and says, "What the hell do you want hot water for??" The third vampire pulls out a used tampon and states, "I only drink tea."



Menstruation jokes just aren't funny. Period.


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OnlineLogicaL ChaosM
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs
Male User Gallery


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,357
Loc: The Inexpressible... Flag
Last seen: 6 minutes, 1 second
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Near Dylan] * 1
    #22453022 - 10/30/15 10:30 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

:justastonishing:


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Invisiblemycopathia
(⊙︿⊙✿)


Registered: 10/12/15
Posts: 20
Loc: dark side of the moon
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Near Dylan]
    #22453167 - 10/30/15 11:13 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

BUMP


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"In the Beginning, all was static; the earth was neither fire nor solid. It was a drop of water on someone’s kitchen table: an instant between the action of spilling and some future cleaning-up. Or, perhaps, the earth is a barnacle on a rock, formed between two waves; an event of no significance, then, created in a vacuum between the ebb and the flow of some unthinkable, unimaginable sea."-- TL


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Invisiblenice1returns
I am the Holy Shit
 User Gallery


Registered: 09/04/14
Posts: 2,303
Loc: miwuaki Flag
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Zombi3]
    #22453255 - 10/30/15 11:41 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Whats the difference between a drug dealer and a whore?

One washes their crack and sells it again

:ducklol:


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Invisiblemycopathia
(⊙︿⊙✿)


Registered: 10/12/15
Posts: 20
Loc: dark side of the moon
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Near Dylan]
    #22453308 - 10/30/15 11:56 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

damn- that's f-cked up, and not funny. two points for you


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"In the Beginning, all was static; the earth was neither fire nor solid. It was a drop of water on someone’s kitchen table: an instant between the action of spilling and some future cleaning-up. Or, perhaps, the earth is a barnacle on a rock, formed between two waves; an event of no significance, then, created in a vacuum between the ebb and the flow of some unthinkable, unimaginable sea."-- TL


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InvisibleThe Phleg
Big Dick Chakra
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 14,473
Loc: Uncanny Valley
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Zombi3] * 1
    #22455092 - 10/30/15 07:37 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Three third-graders, a Jew, an Italian, and an African American are on the playground at recess.
The Jewish kid suggests that they play a new game. "Let's see who has the largest dick,"
he says. "Okay," they all agree.

The Jewish kid pulls down his zipper and whips it out. "That's nothing," says the Italian kid.
He whips his out. His is a couple of inches longer. Not to be outdone, the African American
whips his out. It is by far the biggest, dwarfing the other two in both length and width.
The Jewish and Italian kid are stunned and amazed. "Wow, that thing is huge!" they exclaim.

That night, eating dinner at home, the African American's mother asks him what he did at school today.

"Oh, we worked on a science project, had a math test and read out loud from a new book
...and during recess, my friends and I played "Let's see who has the largest dick."

"What kind of game is that, honey?" asks his mother.

"Well, me, Sidney and Anthony each pulled out our penises, and I had the biggest!
The other kids say its because I'm black. Is that true, Mom?"

The mom replies: "No, honey. It's because you're twenty-three."


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You wanna get high? Drink tap water.
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InvisibleZombi3
Bella Ciao!!
Male User Gallery


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 27,086
Loc: Bat Country Flag
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: The Phleg]
    #22455131 - 10/30/15 07:45 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

I'll probably give out the supporter account tomorrow or the next day sometime! I dunno who's winning so far..


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Youve Met With A Terrible Fate, Havent You?

Click here to enter this weeks Ban Lottery!!
In Crust We Trust


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OfflinePatlal
You ask too many questions
Male User Gallery


Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa Flag
Last seen: 5 hours, 47 minutes
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Zombi3] * 1
    #22455191 - 10/30/15 07:52 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

World's hardest tongue twister:

"pad kid poured curd pulled cold"


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InvisibleNobler Hino
a dojo and a forge?!
 User Gallery


Registered: 08/29/15
Posts: 1,780
Loc: Deep Ellum Flag
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Patlal] * 2
    #22455271 - 10/30/15 08:07 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Guy gets his eye lids ripped off in a car accident, and visits a surgeon. The surgeon tells the guy he can fix his eye lid problem by taking his foreskin off of his cock and sewing them over his eyeballs. The guy says great are there any risks?
The doctor says no but you'll be cock eyed for the rest of your life!


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"The sacred mushroom takes me by the hand and brings me to the world where everything is known. It is they, the sacred mushrooms, that speak in a way I can understand. I ask them and they answer me.”
– Maria Sabina


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OfflineAnahata


Registered: 02/25/12
Posts: 2,399
Last seen: 2 days, 23 hours
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Zombi3]
    #22455337 - 10/30/15 08:22 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Why was the snowman standing in the street with his pants down?
He heard a snowblower was coming.

What's the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

The energizer bunny was arrested the other day, he was charged with battery.

Have you heard the one about the boomerang?
It's coming back.

What do you call a room of stoned Mexicans?
Baked beans.

What happened to the cat that ate the ball of yarn?
She had mittens.

You know why you don't have sex with pigs?
Because they squeal on ya.


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Offlinespirit_shadow
Feature not a bug
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,674
Last seen: 1 hour, 31 minutes
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Anahata]
    #22455707 - 10/30/15 09:42 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Why don't Arab/Muslim area teach drivers ed and sex ed on the same day?

The camels would get too tired.


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ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011
Ban lotto


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OfflineLucisM
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
Last seen: 1 month, 29 days
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Zombi3]
    #22455940 - 10/30/15 10:40 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

There's a white guy, a mexican, and a black guy walking through a farmers pasture lands.

The crazed farmer comes out with a gun and say he's going to kill each one of them unless they can shove 10 veggies/fruits of their choosing up their ass within 1 minute.  The white guy says OK, walks over to some peas and commences to shove 10 pea pods up hit ass rather quickly, the farmer says OK you're good.  The mexican guy walks over to the peanut plants, and commences to shove ten peanuts up his ass with haste, farmer says OK you made it.  Farmer then sees the white guy and the mexican laughing hysterically, he asks what's up and they say "look at the black guy, he's headed to the watermelon patch"


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©️


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Invisiblebilly jowl
blah
Male User Gallery


Registered: 12/11/12
Posts: 1,496
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Lucis] * 1
    #22456279 - 10/31/15 12:53 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

A black guy and a Mexican are riding in a car.
Who is most likely driving.

The cop  :rimshot:


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