Home | Community | Message Board

World Seed Supply
This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

PhytoExtractum Shop: Maeng Da Thai Kratom Leaf Powder

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | Next >  [ show all ]
InvisibleZombi3
Bella Ciao!!
Male User Gallery


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 27,086
Loc: Bat Country Flag
Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! (Winner = SirShroomsAlott) * 3
    #22445299 - 10/28/15 03:02 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Round 1 Here! (Winner = The Phleg)

I have a supporter account up for grabs going to the poster who posts the funniest joke in this thread! I'll base who gets the supporter account on who's joke gets the most +1's! If nobody +1's any jokes I'll just have a poll or choose my personnal favourite joke lol.

The only rule is you have to post a joke, if your post does not contain a joke you can't win even if you get hella +1's...

Also I will crosscheck winning jokes with my previous contest to make sure you didnt copypaste from round 1.

I'm going to let this run for 1-2 days depending on how quick the jokes roll in.

Looking forward to a good laugh :awesomenod:

:mushdance:


--------------------
Youve Met With A Terrible Fate, Havent You?

Click here to enter this weeks Ban Lottery!!
In Crust We Trust


Edited by Zombi3 (11/05/15 03:06 PM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinehighvibes
just tryna get high

Registered: 10/28/15
Posts: 227
Loc: Canada Flag
Last seen: 8 years, 2 months
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Zombi3] * 3
    #22445330 - 10/28/15 03:07 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Dyslexic man walks into a bra


--------------------
I only did ketamine once. I thought you were supposed to do as much as you do cocaine. I didn't move for 3 hours and it sucked. Fuck ketamine.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinedeff
just love everyone
 User Gallery


Registered: 05/01/04
Posts: 9,406
Loc: clarity Flag
Last seen: 41 minutes, 46 seconds
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Zombi3] * 2
    #22445332 - 10/28/15 03:08 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

what's the best thing about scuba diving?

going under the water :awesome:


--------------------



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleJohnnieYen
Okay
I'm a teapot


Registered: 03/15/11
Posts: 3,529
Loc: City Z
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: deff] * 7
    #22445379 - 10/28/15 03:17 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

what did the kid with no hands get for Christmas?

I don't know, he hasn't opened it yet


--------------------
[center


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflinePatlal
You ask too many questions
Male User Gallery


Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa Flag
Last seen: 7 hours, 14 minutes
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: JohnnieYen]
    #22445393 - 10/28/15 03:20 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

What do you call a Jewish Zebra?

A zebrew!


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleSirShroomsAlott
Howdy
I'm a teapot


Registered: 05/15/14
Posts: 6,945
Loc: United States Flag
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Patlal] * 8
    #22445408 - 10/28/15 03:23 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

I don't understand why Obama has to give his speeches behind bullet proof glass. I mean,I know he's black and all, but I doubt he'll shoot anyone.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleZombi3
Bella Ciao!!
Male User Gallery


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 27,086
Loc: Bat Country Flag
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: SirShroomsAlott]
    #22445414 - 10/28/15 03:25 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

:lmafo:


--------------------
Youve Met With A Terrible Fate, Havent You?

Click here to enter this weeks Ban Lottery!!
In Crust We Trust


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleLe_Canard
The Duk Abides


Registered: 05/16/03
Posts: 94,392
Loc: Earthfarm 1 Flag
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Zombi3] * 1
    #22445429 - 10/28/15 03:28 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

My love is like a candle: forget me and I'll burn your house down.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineTheScientificMethod
Psychonautic Explorer & Writer
Male Unread Journal User Gallery


Registered: 02/20/14
Posts: 632
Loc: USA
Last seen: 21 days, 20 hours
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Patlal]
    #22445430 - 10/28/15 03:28 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

How long does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?

I don't know; I was too busy masterbating to keep track of time


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleSirShroomsAlott
Howdy
I'm a teapot


Registered: 05/15/14
Posts: 6,945
Loc: United States Flag
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: TheScientificMethod] * 6
    #22445444 - 10/28/15 03:30 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

A family walks into a hotel and the father goes to the front desk and says "I hope the porn is disabled."
The guy at the desk replies. "It's just regular porn you sick fuck."

These jokes I'm telling are so dark I'm surprised that they haven't been shot by the police.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinenewshroomer123
Stranger
 User Gallery


Registered: 08/06/14
Posts: 378
Loc: Where ever the weed at Flag
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Zombi3] * 2
    #22445468 - 10/28/15 03:35 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler?




Michael Phelps knows how to finish a race.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleEminence
Male


Registered: 07/25/10
Posts: 16,623
Loc: Richmond, VA Flag
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: newshroomer123]
    #22445510 - 10/28/15 03:48 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

How do you start a rave in Ethiopia?

glue food to the ceiling


--------------------




Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinemygrowscope
Lurker
Male User Gallery


Registered: 09/18/15
Posts: 64
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Eminence]
    #22445534 - 10/28/15 03:55 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

What's the difference between a fag and a refrigerator. .......


A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull the meat out .


--------------------
P.L.U.R.:mushroom2:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleZymosis
Carbon Based Lifeform
Male User Gallery


Registered: 10/17/15
Posts: 237
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: mygrowscope]
    #22445575 - 10/28/15 04:05 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

There are three knights, one with a black sword, one with a golden sword, and one with a bomb.  They decide to throw their weapons over the castle to see what they hit.

The knight with the black sword finds a lady crying and asks her why.  She replies, "A black sword came out of the sky and killed my dog."

The knight with the golden sword finds another lady crying and asks her why.  She replies, "A golden sword came out of the sky and killed my husband."

The knight with the bomb finds a man laughing hysterically and asks him why.  He replies, "I farted and my house blew up."


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleJohnnieYen
Okay
I'm a teapot


Registered: 03/15/11
Posts: 3,529
Loc: City Z
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Zymosis]
    #22445623 - 10/28/15 04:22 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

What's the best thing about being a meth addict?

Only one sleep till Christmas.


--------------------
[center


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleConvikt Kelly
Are you gunna smoke that?
Male

Registered: 10/15/15
Posts: 564
Loc: The Wasteland
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: JohnnieYen] * 4
    #22445701 - 10/28/15 04:40 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Why are wedding dresses white?

So that the dishwasher matches the fridge and stove


--------------------
Beer.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinekoods
Ribbit
Male User Gallery


Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,059
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 1 hour, 53 minutes
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Zombi3] * 1
    #22446032 - 10/28/15 06:14 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)



--------------------
NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinespammy
Stranger


Registered: 09/28/15
Posts: 6
Last seen: 8 years, 2 months
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: koods]
    #22446128 - 10/28/15 06:41 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

did i tell you about my uncle gubsy. he was gay. we used to think he was called uncle gubsy because he would take two dicks and go GUB GUB GUB GUB GUB GUB


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleToadstool5
A Registered Mycophile
Male User Gallery


Registered: 01/22/15
Posts: 1,359
Loc: The Golden State
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Zombi3] * 2
    #22446225 - 10/28/15 07:13 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

A couple decides to fly from San Francisco International Airport to the Kennedy International Airport in New York for their honeymoon.

The next week they board the plane and take off. Just as the plane made it over the Nevada border they decide they can not wait and it would be fun to start the honeymoon early. So they sneak into the bathroom and had sex almost the entire flight.

When they finally get off the plane the husband tells his new wife that he feels guilty about what they did. She reassures him that many people have joined the "mile high club" and that he shouldn't worry.

The husband replies, "I know you are right, but I didn't vote for Obama."

Confused, she asks, "why does that matter?"

He tells her with a look of shame, "If I fucked over half of the United States, and didn't vote for him, that makes me quite the hypocrite."


--------------------
If you do not know where the mushroom products you are consuming are grown, think twice before eating them. :badshroom:
- Paul Stamets

AMU Teks :mushroom2: Stro's Write Ups


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleNakedmushroomguru
Wanderer
 User Gallery


Registered: 10/02/15
Posts: 89
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Toadstool5]
    #22446299 - 10/28/15 07:32 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Was told this the other night by a friend who is black : why don't black people have nightmares?              Cause the last dream they had got shot down


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | Next >  [ show all ]

PhytoExtractum Shop: Maeng Da Thai Kratom Leaf Powder


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* how about athread with good jokes?
( 1 2 all )
OhTedy 3,746 21 04/26/08 02:33 AM
by trscstghst
* George Carlin jokes silversoul7 1,782 9 11/14/10 10:05 AM
by Frost
* RED MEAT- Funniest Comic Strip EVER!!!!!!!!!
( 1 2 all )
DoctorJ 9,024 34 11/24/03 12:30 AM
by LiquidSmoke
* Post deleted by Administrator
( 1 2 all )
psychodelic 4,518 23 03/05/03 03:53 AM
by the free thinker
* Irish jokes AislingGheal 1,137 6 03/18/03 08:48 AM
by AislingGheal
* Big newb post Altec79 2,121 11 12/31/02 12:32 PM
by Murex
* Why don't you post in OTD? Senor_Doobie 3,578 16 02/12/03 06:53 AM
by Shroomism
* Lots of Grateful Dead posts lately
( 1 2 all )
Ripple 7,299 25 03/17/03 04:57 AM
by Ripple

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: Entire Staff
4,355 topic views. 4 members, 62 guests and 27 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.036 seconds spending 0.009 seconds on 16 queries.