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Zombi3
Bella Ciao!!




Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 27,086
Loc: Bat Country
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Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! (Winner = SirShroomsAlott) 3
#22445299 - 10/28/15 03:02 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Round 1 Here! (Winner = The Phleg)
I have a supporter account up for grabs going to the poster who posts the funniest joke in this thread! I'll base who gets the supporter account on who's joke gets the most +1's! If nobody +1's any jokes I'll just have a poll or choose my personnal favourite joke lol.
The only rule is you have to post a joke, if your post does not contain a joke you can't win even if you get hella +1's...
Also I will crosscheck winning jokes with my previous contest to make sure you didnt copypaste from round 1.
I'm going to let this run for 1-2 days depending on how quick the jokes roll in.
Looking forward to a good laugh 
-------------------- You’ve Met With A Terrible Fate, Haven’t You?
Click here to enter this weeks Ban Lottery!! In Crust We Trust
Edited by Zombi3 (11/05/15 03:06 PM)
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highvibes
just tryna get high

Registered: 10/28/15
Posts: 227
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 8 years, 2 months
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Zombi3] 3
#22445330 - 10/28/15 03:07 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Dyslexic man walks into a bra
-------------------- I only did ketamine once. I thought you were supposed to do as much as you do cocaine. I didn't move for 3 hours and it sucked. Fuck ketamine.
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deff
just love everyone



Registered: 05/01/04
Posts: 9,406
Loc: clarity
Last seen: 41 minutes, 46 seconds
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Zombi3] 2
#22445332 - 10/28/15 03:08 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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what's the best thing about scuba diving?
going under the water
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JohnnieYen
Okay



Registered: 03/15/11
Posts: 3,529
Loc: City Z
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: deff] 7
#22445379 - 10/28/15 03:17 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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what did the kid with no hands get for Christmas?
I don't know, he hasn't opened it yet
-------------------- [center
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Patlal
You ask too many questions



Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 7 hours, 14 minutes
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: JohnnieYen]
#22445393 - 10/28/15 03:20 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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What do you call a Jewish Zebra?
A zebrew!
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SirShroomsAlott
Howdy



Registered: 05/15/14
Posts: 6,945
Loc: United States
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Patlal] 8
#22445408 - 10/28/15 03:23 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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I don't understand why Obama has to give his speeches behind bullet proof glass. I mean,I know he's black and all, but I doubt he'll shoot anyone.
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Zombi3
Bella Ciao!!




Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 27,086
Loc: Bat Country
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: SirShroomsAlott]
#22445414 - 10/28/15 03:25 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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-------------------- You’ve Met With A Terrible Fate, Haven’t You?
Click here to enter this weeks Ban Lottery!! In Crust We Trust
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Le_Canard
The Duk Abides


Registered: 05/16/03
Posts: 94,392
Loc: Earthfarm 1
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Zombi3] 1
#22445429 - 10/28/15 03:28 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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My love is like a candle: forget me and I'll burn your house down.
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TheScientificMethod
Psychonautic Explorer & Writer



Registered: 02/20/14
Posts: 632
Loc: USA
Last seen: 21 days, 20 hours
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Patlal]
#22445430 - 10/28/15 03:28 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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How long does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?
I don't know; I was too busy masterbating to keep track of time
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SirShroomsAlott
Howdy



Registered: 05/15/14
Posts: 6,945
Loc: United States
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: TheScientificMethod] 6
#22445444 - 10/28/15 03:30 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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A family walks into a hotel and the father goes to the front desk and says "I hope the porn is disabled." The guy at the desk replies. "It's just regular porn you sick fuck."
These jokes I'm telling are so dark I'm surprised that they haven't been shot by the police.
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newshroomer123
Stranger



Registered: 08/06/14
Posts: 378
Loc: Where ever the weed at
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Zombi3] 2
#22445468 - 10/28/15 03:35 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler?
Michael Phelps knows how to finish a race.
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Eminence



Registered: 07/25/10
Posts: 16,623
Loc: Richmond, VA
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: newshroomer123]
#22445510 - 10/28/15 03:48 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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How do you start a rave in Ethiopia?
glue food to the ceiling
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mygrowscope
Lurker



Registered: 09/18/15
Posts: 64
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Eminence]
#22445534 - 10/28/15 03:55 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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What's the difference between a fag and a refrigerator. .......
A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull the meat out .
-------------------- P.L.U.R.
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Zymosis
Carbon Based Lifeform



Registered: 10/17/15
Posts: 237
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: mygrowscope]
#22445575 - 10/28/15 04:05 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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There are three knights, one with a black sword, one with a golden sword, and one with a bomb. They decide to throw their weapons over the castle to see what they hit.
The knight with the black sword finds a lady crying and asks her why. She replies, "A black sword came out of the sky and killed my dog."
The knight with the golden sword finds another lady crying and asks her why. She replies, "A golden sword came out of the sky and killed my husband."
The knight with the bomb finds a man laughing hysterically and asks him why. He replies, "I farted and my house blew up."
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JohnnieYen
Okay



Registered: 03/15/11
Posts: 3,529
Loc: City Z
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Zymosis]
#22445623 - 10/28/15 04:22 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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What's the best thing about being a meth addict?
Only one sleep till Christmas.
-------------------- [center
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Convikt Kelly
Are you gunna smoke that?


Registered: 10/15/15
Posts: 564
Loc: The Wasteland
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: JohnnieYen] 4
#22445701 - 10/28/15 04:40 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Why are wedding dresses white?
So that the dishwasher matches the fridge and stove
-------------------- Beer.
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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,059
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 1 hour, 53 minutes
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Zombi3] 1
#22446032 - 10/28/15 06:14 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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--------------------
NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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spammy
Stranger


Registered: 09/28/15
Posts: 6
Last seen: 8 years, 2 months
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: koods]
#22446128 - 10/28/15 06:41 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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did i tell you about my uncle gubsy. he was gay. we used to think he was called uncle gubsy because he would take two dicks and go GUB GUB GUB GUB GUB GUB
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Toadstool5
A Registered Mycophile



Registered: 01/22/15
Posts: 1,359
Loc: The Golden State
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Zombi3] 2
#22446225 - 10/28/15 07:13 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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A couple decides to fly from San Francisco International Airport to the Kennedy International Airport in New York for their honeymoon.
The next week they board the plane and take off. Just as the plane made it over the Nevada border they decide they can not wait and it would be fun to start the honeymoon early. So they sneak into the bathroom and had sex almost the entire flight.
When they finally get off the plane the husband tells his new wife that he feels guilty about what they did. She reassures him that many people have joined the "mile high club" and that he shouldn't worry.
The husband replies, "I know you are right, but I didn't vote for Obama."
Confused, she asks, "why does that matter?"
He tells her with a look of shame, "If I fucked over half of the United States, and didn't vote for him, that makes me quite the hypocrite."
-------------------- If you do not know where the mushroom products you are consuming are grown, think twice before eating them. - Paul Stamets AMU Teks Stro's Write Ups
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Nakedmushroomguru
Wanderer



Registered: 10/02/15
Posts: 89
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! Round 2!! [Re: Toadstool5]
#22446299 - 10/28/15 07:32 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Was told this the other night by a friend who is black : why don't black people have nightmares? Cause the last dream they had got shot down
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