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InvisibleSkorpivoMusterion
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Why did the Chicken cross the road?
    #2243647 - 01/15/04 11:18 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Fireworks_God: Why ask why the chicken crossed the road? In the end, it doesn?t matter. All that matters is that we are here now. Now leave me the fuck alone so I can play my damn Bass and listen to my Metal.

Swami: Actually, it was NOT a Chicken, but in fact, a Hen, furthermore, it did not cross a road, a road is paved man-made structure consisting of tar and concrete. What the Hen actually crossed, was a path.

Frog: The chicken is paying off bad karma collected from it's previous lifetime and thus is attempting to get run over by a vehicle on the road; as that is what the entity within the chicken did in it's previous incarnation as a human, to another chicken.

Mr_Mushrooms: According to evolution, the Chicken is actually a form of a modern dinosaur. Therefore it retains instinctoidal programming encoded in it?s DNA from the prehistoric ages where it?s ancient relatives once consumed various rodents, insects and so on; thus the chicken was driven by it?s natural instincts left over from evolution to gobble up the field mouse that was across the road.

Silversoul: How do you know that the Chicken crossed the road? Maybe you think you know, but you really don?t know that you know that the chicken crossed the road, you know?

Schlorch: I would concur that the chicken succumbed to the wrath of Nicotine Addiction, as it saw the luscious morsels of Tobacco leaves growing on the other side of the road; thus spiraling itself down a road of Consumer Addiction and propelling it?s malleable ego into the mold of typical Chicken-Paradigms of Chicken-Society.

Shroomism: It was being subconsciously guided by 4th dimensional alien entities to enter a Quantum Galactic portal to the next dimensional plane of existence.

Phluck: The Chicken was taunted and teased and picked on by other chickens, because of it?s homosexual preferences and sexual orientation that was different from the norm, since they were all insecure with their sexuality. So, the Chicken then finally decided to cross the road to the other side, where there are more accepting and non-judgmental chickens. Oh wait! I just did some research on it; actually, the whole thing?s a myth. ?insert skeptic proof link- The chicken didn?t cross the road. 

Trendal: I theorize that it was because of the Multi-verse due to the String Theory, the alternative chicken in the parallel universe did NOT cross the road; which then created the effect of the alternate universe where the chicken DID cross the road, which happens to be the Universe we reside in.

Kaoiwas: Due to the law of Physics, the chicken is incapable of flight, despite the wings it possesses; so it had to walk across the road.


Mixomatosis: What a stupid question! You?re probably just asking because you want to tell me a joke, aren?t you? Well I?m ahead of you so don?t even try to pull that on me, because I?m on top of things and I will make you look STUPID for even trying!

Positronius: Why bother asking me? I?m just gonna paraphrase what Mixomatosis said and give you a similar friggin answer. Now go away so I can preach to my cult of how Philosophers are Evil.

TrueKimbo: It was getting rather sick and tired of skeptics mocking and harassing him about professing to have telekinetic powers, so the Chicken finally gained the inner energy and used it?s telekinetic ability to levitate itself across the road, and away from all the skeptics as they all watched with their jaws wide open in disbelief and marvel. And for a good measure, the Chicken gave them all headaches, with it?s psychic energy.

Learyfan: It was having a conversation with God.

Shizpow: It was performing it?s duty as a Street Samurai, to demonstrate it?s inner-Zen and harmony, that which dissipated all fear of crossing the road.

Doctor J: The side it was traversing on was haunted by spirits and ghosts of deceased chickens, and got tired of dealing with all the female-chicken?s drama and problems, so it moved to the other side.

Shroomnoob: It?s Viagra-dealer was waiting for him on the other side.

PsiloKitten: Because it wanted to exercise it?s FREEDOM and RIGHT as a Chicken. It needed to show the world that it is NOT just any little Chicken, and DAMN PROUD to be a CHICKEN!

MarkostheGnostic: It was searching for it?s inner harmony of spirituality and truth in the Chicken-Religion. It wanted to explore other insights of Dogmas and beliefs, and religions of higher powers in the Universe. It wanted to find?GOD.

Ped: The first problem lies in the arbitrary illusionary judgment that the Chicken and Road are seperate; which is fueled by the same process of gradual decline in culture, wit and basic awareness can also be observed with each consecutive school year at any public education institution in the West. The two are intrinsically connected to the collapse of America into an apathetic, slothful sedation that came with the injection of low-brow Prime Time sitcoms such as "Full House", "Friends" and "Will & Grace", as well as the poisonous insurgence of such politically sanctioned and installed entertainers as MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice. It's been a process which was conciously initiated after the first Gulf War in 1991, eventually giving way to such abominations as "American Pie" I, II, and III, "Who Wants to Be A Millionaire", "Survivor", "American Idol", and most distressing of all, the election of Arnold Shwarzneggar into public office.
The symptoms of this sickness are now manifesting in the unbridled escalation of aestheticism and disrespect for women seen with the rise of corporate rap music, a textbook case of the frantic hardening of the species-ego when exposed to such against-the-grain notions as mystical psychology, UFO's, and the frighteningly sudden stark self-awareness that came with the crest of the 1960's acid wave.
What a bunch of nonsense, eh!

SkorpivoMusterion: Because it wanted to get to the other side.

:grin:


--------------------
Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.


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Offlineblackout
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Re: Why did the Chicken cross the road? [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #2243697 - 01/15/04 11:46 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

SkorpivoMusterion said:
SkorpivoMusterion: Because it wanted to get to the other side.
:grin:  




why did it want to get to the other side?
because thats where the public toilets are.
why did it want to go to the toilets?
cause thats where all the cocks hang out


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OfflinePhluck
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Re: Why did the Chicken cross the road? [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #2243703 - 01/15/04 11:52 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Wow... pretty damn accurate, actually.

Except for the last one... I think you'll need an impartial third party to write your own.


--------------------
"I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson
http://phluck.is-after.us


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Offlinefireworks_godS
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Re: Why did the Chicken cross the road? [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #2243713 - 01/15/04 11:57 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

SkorpivoMusterion said:
Fireworks_God: Why ask why the chicken crossed the road? In the end, it doesn?t matter. All that matters is that we are here now. Now leave me the fuck alone so I can play my damn Bass and listen to my Metal.




Classic stuff, my man. I really enjoyed reading them.. I can't count how many times I busted out laughing.

As for mine, I really laughed at that one. :grin:

Of course, my philosophy is actually all-encompassing, so why the chicken crossed the road definitely plays a part.. but ya'll basically only see my "leave me the fuck alone so I can play my damn bass and listen to my metal" side.  :lol:

Killer stuff, man, thanks for taking the time to roast all of us.  :laugh:

You should do one for Lucid and Deymiyan as well.  :thumbup:
Peace.


--------------------
:redpanda:
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you

:heartpump: :bunnyhug: :yinyang:

:yinyang: :levitate: :earth: :levitate: :yinyang:


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Invisiblekaiowas
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Re: Why did the Chicken cross the road? [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #2243715 - 01/15/04 12:01 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

:lol:

that was quite good. 

I have one for you

Skorpivo: because the chicken thought he saw another one that looked just like him about a mile back.


--------------------
Annnnnnd I had a light saber and my friend was there and I said "you look like an indian" and he said "you look like satan" and he found a stick and a rock and he named the rock ooga booga and he named the stick Stick and we both thought that was pretty funny. We got eaten alive by mosquitos but didn't notice til the next day. I stepped on some glass while wading in the swamp and cut my foot open, didn't bother me til the next day either....yeah it was a good time, ended the night by buying some liquor for minors and drinking nips and going to he diner and eating chicken fingers, and then I went home and went to bed.---senior doobie


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InvisibleDoctorJ
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Re: Why did the Chicken cross the road? [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #2243774 - 01/15/04 12:46 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Silversoul7: the chicken corssed the road to get to the Chicken Party Headquarters and join a protest for Chicken's rights.

SWAMI: the chicken crossed the road because it was told to by another chicken and didnt question these orders

Fireworksgod: I'm sure the chicken crossed the road. No wait, waybe it didnt. Ok, It probably just walked halfway across the road.

Phluck: The chicken crossed the road because its genetically determined neurophysiology was conducive to road-crossing behavior

Shroomism: the chicken didnt cross the road, he just accessed the memory of a chicken crossing the road from the Akashic record.

Learyfan: the chicken crossed the road because Bush Knew.

Sclorch: the chicken crossed the road because SWAMI is cool.

Mr_Mushrooms: the chicken crossed the road because it was a former mod (it resigned)

SkorpivoMusterion: The chicken crossed the road to break up a fight between 2 other chickens on the other side.

Frog: the chicken crossed the road to see its guru so it could ask why chickens cross roads.

Marty McFly: "Nobody... calls me chicken..."


--------------------
peace, pot, and microdot!


Edited by DoctorJ (01/15/04 12:58 PM)


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Offlinefireworks_godS
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Re: Why did the Chicken cross the road? [Re: DoctorJ]
    #2243803 - 01/15/04 12:57 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

DoctorJ said:
Fireworksgod:  I'm sure the chicken crossed the road.  No wait, waybe it didnt.  Ok, It probably just walked halfway across the road. 




Does this have anything to do with my posts basically being me thinking out loud, contemplating thoughts as I go along? :grin:
Peace.


--------------------
:redpanda:
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you

:heartpump: :bunnyhug: :yinyang:

:yinyang: :levitate: :earth: :levitate: :yinyang:


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InvisibleSkorpivoMusterion
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Re: Why did the Chicken cross the road? [Re: fireworks_god]
    #2243806 - 01/15/04 12:58 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Lucid: The chicken was suffering from a borderline psychosis-schizophrenic personality disorder with extreme social-anxiety and forgot to take it's meds that morning, and completely lost it's mind and delved into a mental-chaos spree and randomly crossed the road in all due insanity...aw fuck, I dunno, where's my MEDS AT??? I have an appt with my shrink in 2 hrs!

Deiymiyan: The chicken had a great eye for detail?and noticed a sign across the road?.


He then decided to look for the hidden lesson?..


The hidden meaning?.




Behind the sign that said ?No Trespassing? on the other side?


--------------------
Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.


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OfflineMAIA
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Re: Why did the Chicken cross the road? [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #2243809 - 01/15/04 12:59 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Why did the Chicken cross the road?




Because it has legs and knows how to use them.

MAIA


--------------------
Spiritual being, living a human experience ... The Shroomery Mandala



Use, do not abuse; neither abstinence nor excess ever renders man happy.
Voltaire


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InvisibletrendalM
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Re: Why did the Chicken cross the road? [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #2243815 - 01/15/04 01:00 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

  :lol:

Good stuff, skorpivo :smile:


--------------------
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InvisibleDoctorJ
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Re: Why did the Chicken cross the road? [Re: fireworks_god]
    #2243821 - 01/15/04 01:05 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Does this have anything to do with my posts basically being me thinking out loud, contemplating thoughts as I go along?
Peace.




pretty much. that and you are one of the few people on here willing to change his opinion mid-arguement when the facts dont pan out. envious of that myself, kid.






"In S oviet Russia, chickens cross you!"


--------------------
peace, pot, and microdot!


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InvisibleSkorpivoMusterion
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Re: Why did the Chicken cross the road? [Re: DoctorJ]
    #2243832 - 01/15/04 01:09 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

DoctorJ said:
SkorpivoMusterion: The chicken crossed the road to break up a fight between 2 other chickens on the other side.





I'm curious, what are you basing this on? :grin:


--------------------
Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.


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Invisiblejpod
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Re: Why did the Chicken cross the road? [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #2243836 - 01/15/04 01:11 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Because when I go to KFC I prefer to take out rather than eat in  :lol:


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InvisibleDoctorJ
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Re: Why did the Chicken cross the road? [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #2243840 - 01/15/04 01:12 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

I'm curious, what are you basing this on?





you seem like a mediator type, but I havent really known you that long, so its just a first impression. I seem to remember you mediating a few arguements both in here and OTD


--------------------
peace, pot, and microdot!


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InvisibleSkorpivoMusterion
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Re: Why did the Chicken cross the road? [Re: DoctorJ]
    #2243845 - 01/15/04 01:14 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

ohhh gotcha :grin:  


--------------------
Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.


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InvisibleSwami
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Re: Why did the Chicken cross the road? [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #2243865 - 01/15/04 01:25 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Funny stuff bro.  :lol:

Cheech & Chong: Well, the chicken was tweakin' on 5 g's of cubies, man. The road was so fucking' cool with all colors of the spectrum pulsing in infinite fractals twirling in cosmic meaning that the bird just like, had to check it out, man. Then a semi-trailer barreling down the road driven by a square who was not groovin', splattered chicken guts all over the road. Bummer, man!  :nut:


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.


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OfflinePhluck
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Re: Why did the Chicken cross the road? [Re: DoctorJ]
    #2243884 - 01/15/04 01:34 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

"Phluck: The chicken crossed the road because its genetically determined neurophysiology was conducive to road-crossing behavior "

Also due to its upbringing and past experiences.


--------------------
"I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson
http://phluck.is-after.us


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InvisibleSkorpivoMusterion
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Re: Why did the Chicken cross the road? [Re: Phluck]
    #2243900 - 01/15/04 01:38 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

I'm curious what you and Swami would say mine is....


--------------------
Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.


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Offlinefireworks_godS
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Re: Why did the Chicken cross the road? [Re: DoctorJ]
    #2244022 - 01/15/04 02:27 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

DoctorJ said:
pretty much.  that and you are one of the few people on here willing to change his opinion mid-arguement when the facts dont pan out.  envious of that myself, kid.





Hell, things change. New information comes in, new perspectives are vantaged from, learning is a constant thing. Thinking is suspossed to be flexible, open to change.. open-mindedness is k3y...

But ja, just got to applaud this post once more, really fucking good stuff! Skorpivo, your one for D was fucking killer!  :grin:
Peace.


--------------------
:redpanda:
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you

:heartpump: :bunnyhug: :yinyang:

:yinyang: :levitate: :earth: :levitate: :yinyang:


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OfflineSeussA
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Re: Why did the Chicken cross the road? [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #2244044 - 01/15/04 02:36 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Seuss: What is the sound of one chicken digesting?


--------------------
Just another spore in the wind.


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