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InvisibleWhite Beard

Registered: 08/13/11
Posts: 6,325
Re: Divine Love vs. Egoic Love [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
    #22431914 - 10/25/15 01:14 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

OrgoneConclusion said:
Quote:

White Beard said:
Well, I haven't read the outburst but it's hard to judge. However, maybe she shamed you in such a way when you opened up emotionally that it hurt your self-esteem and you started thinking that you are 'crazy' or a 'stalker' and she is being extremely generous by taking you back and you're the unworthy one, when in reality what you said wasn't even that crazy. But like I said, I didn't read it and maybe it was genuinely crazy.




Trust me, it was! :crazy:




Has anyone given you a second opinion (besides her, of course)?


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InvisibleOrgoneConclusion
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Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
Re: Divine Love vs. Egoic Love [Re: White Beard] * 1
    #22431976 - 10/25/15 01:34 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

My shrink. I was tested after my emotional breakdown and my serotonin levels were so far below normal that I was barely functional. I was experiencing enormous electric shocks going through my body many times a day for weeks along with extreme mood swings, anxiety and crying jags.

Every single issue of rejection and abandonment in my life exploded all at once two days after my meeting with Haley. The doc said I had a (non-technical term) nervous breakdown due to grief and PTSD. I had not dated in 12 years since my exgf's daughter overdosed and died and my gf left me. I had shutdown completely and never fully processed it.

I first told Haley that it was too much and that I wanted nothing to do with her because I would not allow myself to be vulnerable again, then the next day I told her I loved her and practically asked her to marry me after only 8 hours together. Crazy enough?

Here is the deal though. Everything I went through was necessary to clear my past and make me ready for a real relationship - even if it is not with her. It was a total nightmare and the most painful thing I have ever experienced, yet I am in a much better space now than maybe I ever have been.


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Edited by OrgoneConclusion (10/25/15 01:40 PM)


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InvisibleWhite Beard

Registered: 08/13/11
Posts: 6,325
Re: Divine Love vs. Egoic Love [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
    #22431984 - 10/25/15 01:36 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

well good for you. Maybe it will work out well for you. But remember, shrinks make money off of you being crazy so of course they'll think you're crazy. I recommend getting a friend's opinion on the matter.


Edited by White Beard (10/25/15 02:57 PM)


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Onlinedeff
just love everyone
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Registered: 05/01/04
Posts: 9,406
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Re: Divine Love vs. Egoic Love [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
    #22432116 - 10/25/15 02:19 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

sounds good to me OC :smile: i'm happy to hear that this has precipitated positive changes in your life :smile: best wishes! :sun:


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InvisibleDividedQuantumM
Outer Head
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Registered: 12/06/13
Posts: 9,819
Re: Divine Love vs. Egoic Love [Re: deff]
    #22432248 - 10/25/15 02:49 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

deff said:
sounds good to me OC :smile: i'm happy to hear that this has precipitated positive changes in your life :smile: best wishes! :sun:




I concur. :thumbup:


--------------------
Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici


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InvisibleOrgoneConclusion
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Re: Divine Love vs. Egoic Love [Re: DividedQuantum]
    #22432369 - 10/25/15 03:20 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)
Log in to view attachment

The mystery of it all - an OC original.


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InvisibleDividedQuantumM
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Registered: 12/06/13
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Re: Divine Love vs. Egoic Love [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
    #22432398 - 10/25/15 03:30 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

I like that a lot!  Here's a poem of mine that's on topic: 


Robotic Love


Who loves not love?
The poet inquires
It goes to the loftiest heights!
What bad ever comes
A full life requires
Someone having it there in their sights!

Though others are not
So rosy about it
I've heard it called 'romantic fog'
Or else just at best
Temporary, so quit
All this chatter 'bout kissing a frog

And then it goes farther
Harsh, blunt, is it truth?
An amalgam of sex and sentimentality
I'm not so sure
It isn't forsooth
But I've never been one for banality

When one has seen love
Go as haywire as I
Have seen it go far in the past
One wonders a bit
And then thinks by an by
It's just a mechanism, but vast

But I have to suppose
That in my good conscience
I couldn't dismiss such sublime
Thoughts and emotions
There isn't a science
Of love, as there isn't of rhyme


--------------------
Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici


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InvisibleOrgoneConclusion
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Registered: 04/01/07
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Re: Divine Love vs. Egoic Love [Re: DividedQuantum]
    #22432424 - 10/25/15 03:38 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Nice. :congrats:

Thanks for sharing!


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story
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Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
Re: Divine Love vs. Egoic Love [Re: White Beard]
    #22432453 - 10/25/15 03:44 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

White Beard said:
Well, I haven't read the outburst but it's hard to judge. However, maybe she shamed you in such a way when you opened up emotionally that it hurt your self-esteem and you started thinking that you are 'crazy' or a 'stalker' and she is being extremely generous by taking you back and you're the unworthy one, when in reality what you said wasn't even that crazy. But like I said, I didn't read it and maybe it was genuinely crazy.




Oh, it was crazy.






--------------------
Anxiety is what you make it.


Edited by LunarEclipse (10/25/15 04:04 PM)


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InvisibleOrgoneConclusion
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Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
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Re: Divine Love vs. Egoic Love [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #22432526 - 10/25/15 04:08 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

"Where do they teach you to talk like this? In some Panama City sailor wana hump hump bar or is this getaway day, and your last shot at his whiskey. Sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here." ~ Jack Nicholson


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OfflineBlueCoyote
Beyond
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Registered: 05/07/04
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Re: Divine Love vs. Egoic Love [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
    #22444517 - 10/28/15 11:43 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

:inlove: :fairy:


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Posts: 21,407
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Re: Divine Love vs. Egoic Love [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
    #22446079 - 10/28/15 06:27 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

OrgoneConclusion said:
My shrink. I was tested after my emotional breakdown and my serotonin levels were so far below normal that I was barely functional. I was experiencing enormous electric shocks going through my body many times a day for weeks along with extreme mood swings, anxiety and crying jags.

Every single issue of rejection and abandonment in my life exploded all at once two days after my meeting with Haley. The doc said I had a (non-technical term) nervous breakdown due to grief and PTSD. I had not dated in 12 years since my exgf's daughter overdosed and died and my gf left me. I had shutdown completely and never fully processed it.

I first told Haley that it was too much and that I wanted nothing to do with her because I would not allow myself to be vulnerable again, then the next day I told her I loved her and practically asked her to marry me after only 8 hours together. Crazy enough?

Here is the deal though. Everything I went through was necessary to clear my past and make me ready for a real relationship - even if it is not with her. It was a total nightmare and the most painful thing I have ever experienced, yet I am in a much better space now than maybe I ever have been.




Out of a morbid sense of curiousness, did your shrink suggest you contact your "Divine Love" interest again, or to stay away?  Either way, what was their rationale?

TIA.



--------------------
Anxiety is what you make it.


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InvisibleCosmicJokeM
happy mutant
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Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 10,848
Loc: Portland, OR
Re: Divine Love vs. Egoic Love [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
    #22446291 - 10/28/15 07:31 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Your truth will set you free.... seems you've made great strides in being whole again.  Staying open, vulnerable, connecting, yanno, anyone you can do that with is your family....  having some around really helps with feeling isolated.


--------------------
Everything is better than it was the last time.  I'm good.

If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.

It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence.

I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too.  If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story
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Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
Re: Divine Love vs. Egoic Love [Re: CosmicJoke]
    #22448060 - 10/29/15 07:17 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

1000 drummers are better than 1 drummer.



--------------------
Anxiety is what you make it.


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