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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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cez

Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 5,854
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Quote:
OrgoneConclusion said: Same story; new chapter. Available at Amazon.com for $19.95 hardcover edition.
You finagled your way back into her grace?
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Re: Divine Love vs. Egoic Love [Re: cez]
#22431623 - 10/25/15 12:04 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Maybe.
We spoke briefly the other day on the phone. She was on a 5 minute break from a philosophy class at the community college, so the conversation was quite rushed. This was the first time we talked in three months and it was positive as far as it went. IOW - no restraining order! She said she was deliberately incommunicado to see how I would deal with my crazy episode and emotional upheaval on my own without leaning on her for support - a very wise woman.
I will know more when she calls back, which will probably not be for a week or two. This woman is very cautious and guarded and likes to take lots of time to process things whereas I blurt out whatever I am feeling at the moment without thinking.
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Re: Divine Love vs. Egoic Love [Re: Jaegar]
#22431675 - 10/25/15 12:12 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Jaegar said: What does "The Divine" look like?

Seriously though, I cannot explain it. It wasn't like rainbows or auras. It was a complete and total perceptual shift and it sure seemed "real". Either that or I am totally
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Quote:
DividedQuantum said: How much signed?
It is hard to sign a book with a straitjacket on. If you visit me at The Home, please bring Gummi Bears.
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White Beard

Registered: 08/13/11
Posts: 6,325
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Quote:
OrgoneConclusion said: I am totally 
This.
She is likely like any other woman and will likely break your heart again, and maybe take some of your money. You have just built up an ideal in your mind. She is a human being like anyone else, stop thinking she is a god!
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White Beard

Registered: 08/13/11
Posts: 6,325
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Quote:
OrgoneConclusion said: She said she was deliberately incommunicado to see how I would deal with my crazy episode and emotional upheaval on my own without leaning on her for support - a very wise woman.
She's shit testing you.
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yeah


Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 3,729
Last seen: 1 month, 22 days
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cool, dude
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yeah


Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 3,729
Last seen: 1 month, 22 days
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Re: Divine Love vs. Egoic Love [Re: White Beard]
#22431780 - 10/25/15 12:37 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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are you familiar with how OC feels about her? It could be worse
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cez

Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 5,854
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Quote:
OrgoneConclusion said: Maybe.
We spoke briefly the other day on the phone. She was on a 5 minute break from a philosophy class at the community college, so the conversation was quite rushed. This was the first time we talked in three months and it was positive as far as it went. IOW - no restraining order! She said she was deliberately incommunicado to see how I would deal with my crazy episode and emotional upheaval on my own without leaning on her for support - a very wise woman.
I will know more when she calls back, which will probably not be for a week or two. This woman is very cautious and guarded and likes to take lots of time to process things whereas I blurt out whatever I am feeling at the moment without thinking.
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White Beard

Registered: 08/13/11
Posts: 6,325
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Re: Divine Love vs. Egoic Love [Re: yeah]
#22431801 - 10/25/15 12:41 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Yes I do. He's totally hooked and she's going to train him like a dog. He displays a lot of emotion and instead of showing respect or understanding, she shames him, cuts all contact and disappears for months. Contacts OC out of the blue and he comes running back like the good little doggy he is. She knows he's hooked.
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Re: Divine Love vs. Egoic Love [Re: White Beard]
#22431823 - 10/25/15 12:46 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
She is likely like any other woman
This is true, of course. It is not that she is special per se, but for whatever reason, she triggered some major change/shift in me as I relaxed totally in her presence. So no, not worship or putting on a pedestal because it is not about appearance or personality. To put it more mystically, there was an instant energy match that I have never before experienced.
My best male friend commented that we seemed perfect together and that he had never seen me so happy in the 16 years he has known me and I told him just being with her was the best night of my life.
Who wouldn't want more of that?
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DividedQuantum
Outer Head


Registered: 12/06/13
Posts: 9,819
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Re: Divine Love vs. Egoic Love [Re: White Beard]
#22431830 - 10/25/15 12:47 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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White Beard, I sympathize with your position and OC's, both. I do not think she is trying to manipulate him. On the other hand, if you'll remember the Seinfeld episode with George, she has all of the "hand" at this point, which could prove problematic.
-------------------- Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici
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White Beard

Registered: 08/13/11
Posts: 6,325
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Well, most relationships start off picture perfect, yet still devolve into shit for some reason, so I wouldn't expect that feeling to last even if you two do manage to be together.
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Re: Divine Love vs. Egoic Love [Re: White Beard]
#22431857 - 10/25/15 12:56 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
White Beard said: Yes I do. He's totally hooked and she's going to train him like a dog. He displays a lot of emotion and instead of showing respect or understanding, she shames him, cuts all contact and disappears for months. Contacts OC out of the blue and he comes running back like the good little doggy he is. She knows he's hooked.
That is one perspective - and there may be truth in that as it happens all the time. However, I would likely have rejected her had the situation been reversed as would most sane people.
She cut contact because I came on like an obsessive stalker and scared the hell out of her. I think it quite positive that she is willing to look beyond my outrageous behavior. Trying to protect herself from a crazy man is not what I would deem as manipulative.
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White Beard

Registered: 08/13/11
Posts: 6,325
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Well, I haven't read the outburst but it's hard to judge. However, maybe she shamed you in such a way when you opened up emotionally that it hurt your self-esteem and you started thinking that you are 'crazy' or a 'stalker' and she is being extremely generous by taking you back and you're the unworthy one, when in reality what you said wasn't even that crazy. But like I said, I didn't read it and maybe it was genuinely crazy.
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Re: Divine Love vs. Egoic Love [Re: White Beard]
#22431889 - 10/25/15 01:07 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
White Beard said: Well, most relationships start off picture perfect, yet still devolve into shit for some reason, so I wouldn't expect that feeling to last even if you two do manage to be together.
Once again, I agree. The honeymoon phase of any relationship will always end, but if the connection is deep enough, then people can more easily weather day-to-day frictions. But then, this is what I am hoping to discover - can I hold onto The Vision or will it dissipate?
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White Beard

Registered: 08/13/11
Posts: 6,325
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Quote:
OrgoneConclusion said: can I hold onto The Vision or will it dissipate?
I think everything eventually dissipates.
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Quote:
DividedQuantum said: White Beard, I sympathize with your position and OC's, both. I do not think she is trying to manipulate him. On the other hand, if you'll remember the Seinfeld episode with George, she has all of the "hand" at this point, which could prove problematic.
Yes, there is definitely a power imbalance that I will need to address.
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Re: Divine Love vs. Egoic Love [Re: White Beard]
#22431906 - 10/25/15 01:13 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
White Beard said: Well, I haven't read the outburst but it's hard to judge. However, maybe she shamed you in such a way when you opened up emotionally that it hurt your self-esteem and you started thinking that you are 'crazy' or a 'stalker' and she is being extremely generous by taking you back and you're the unworthy one, when in reality what you said wasn't even that crazy. But like I said, I didn't read it and maybe it was genuinely crazy.
Trust me, it was!
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