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Anonymous #1

Is it okay to end your life if you're not a good person?
    #22394217 - 10/17/15 04:35 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

I feel like I mean well as a human being but I have a darkside deep down inside that always wins. I also am the most clingy male ever, I say the wrong things all the time, everybody thinks im creepy & that I have lost my mind. I feel like shit & feel like ending it all. I've spent that past several years trying to improve myself but I have only fallen further & further until the point of no return. I mean my family & some other people may be upset by this but its because I feel bad for being a shitty human. I would want them to know I made this choice knowing I fear myself & who I will become.


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OfflinePsilosopherr
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Re: Is it okay to end your life if you're not a good person? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22394221 - 10/17/15 04:35 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

:thisisheavyman:


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InvisibleEminence
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Re: Is it okay to end your life if you're not a good person? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #22394301 - 10/17/15 04:58 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Seems like some professional help would be a good option before that. What are you standards for a "good human being" anyway? Who are you comparing yourself to?


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OfflineGiftofdeprivation
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Re: Is it okay to end your life if you're not a good person? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22394352 - 10/17/15 05:09 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

We're all scumbags. You gotta take steps everyday to be good in this rotten world. Start small, localize, then routinize. Before you know it, you will have positive habits and your world will be peaceful and full of hope once more.

I second the notion of hearing what ideals you are comparing yourself to.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Is it okay to end your life if you're not a good person? [Re: Eminence]
    #22394444 - 10/17/15 05:26 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

I compare myself to what is acceptable in society. The way I feel, interact, socialize & everything is just wrong. If I was able to be living in a cave or on a mountain away from society then I think I would be okay but that's not really something I can do.

what do you mean by professional help? like a psychologist or something like that? Maybe that would be a good idea.

My main concern  Is that just recently had hooked up with a girl for the first in years (im in my early 20s) & she is only my 3rd kiss & I have gotten laid many times but just with my ex. Anyways I scare myself alot when I like a girl.. I mean I become a different person.. I get so into them & then want to hang out all the time & etc.
I am so clingy & unintellonaly it creeps me the fuck out, I am aware that I dont luje what Im doing tell myself no more then when I finally hook up with a chick I do exactly what I have been telling myself I wouldn't do. 

long story short check this last msg she sent me.


"ok I think I need to clarify a little, its not that im not looking for anything serious right now, Im not looking for anything at all any time soon as in during the time I will be in school which is a minimum of 3 more years and im flattered that you're really into me but the feelings arent mutual like yes you're cool and we have shit in common but I don't want to be involved with anyone at all therefore I dont even let myself think of you like that. Yes we made out but if I thought it was gonna turn into something I would of let it happen right off the bat, and I've told you like 3 times since then that its not happening. You just seem like you have this idea that if you hit me up again sometime in the future I'll go for it and I dont think that thats the case... I mean Im sorry I wish I could tell you something else but this has been my mentally since I started uni and I dont think it'll change. I don't really know how else to make that clear without seeming like a bitch"

so embarrassing, I cant even function with girls without making them send me this invetiable kind of msg.

:doublefacepalm: seriously this is not the first time I have acted like this with a girl. I cant even learn from my mistakes. I wish I could take it all back except for us actually hanging out everything after I was a total loser.


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OfflineGiftofdeprivation
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Re: Is it okay to end your life if you're not a good person? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #22394576 - 10/17/15 05:59 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Sounds like you've limited the social experiences in your life, in turn are lacking the skills necessary to be social in a "normal" way (whatever that may be for where you are) and accrued some social phobias in the process.

Pretty textbook man.

A psychologist will help tremendously if you have insurance or can afford it. Essentially they would likely do CBT or ACT therapies, which will heavily involve skills based learning to boost your social skills and exposure to social situations to reduce your anxieties (systematic desensitization).

If you cannot afford a therapist, your best bet is to introduce yourself to more and more social situations. Start small; just chat with coworkers or go out for a drink with them, then bring yourself to more broader social situations with time. Church, parties, public speaking, whatever. Start with easier situations, but keep pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone. Always stay growing!

Dating is tough man, there is no real build up to that. You can go for sluts, but the dynamic can still be complex. It isn't as though you can date younger girls and work up to more and more complex dynamics by finally reaching your age. All you can do is hit on girls more. Don't expect it to go anywhere and know you are going to fail, but that it gets easier.

This is a fixable and minor issue in this day and age. I hope you won't consider throwing in the towel for something so minor in the future. I know you are suffering, but you have the tools to end that suffering and find happiness in life.


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Invisibleonce in a lifetime
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Re: Is it okay to end your life if you're not a good person? [Re: Giftofdeprivation]
    #22396613 - 10/18/15 08:28 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

'I cant even function with girls without making them send me this invetiable kind of msg.'
Beloved friend, you sound just normal to me :sun:
All that is required is time - a beautiful quote I heard once is - be happy, you will become what you like best.
Fill your heart with the highest ideals, and from that will come the greatest work -
almost word for word.

Do not follow others - follow your heart, trust in your heart; when you have self-faith, all healing is there, all light - all strength --

Have faith in yourself - I can say I have a lot of faith, from this brief message ; especially the line above as I mentioned --

My first and strong thought is - you are just fine, exactly as you are.  Unrequited love is quite universal for humans - not that every human will experience it, but almost every single one. . .

Nothing is absolute, nothing is determined. . . as a Zen monk shared - 'Because you are alive, Everything is possible,'

Or as Devendra sang, 'That peace comes, that peace comes, that peace comes.' -singing slowly on the last word.

Life is unique for everyone, and yet we are the same - an interesting aspect.  We are the same nature as the Sun and Moon, as Earth, the Sky, and Sea -- and all life forms. 

-
-
What is the most beautiful animal in the world?  You are connected with them, they have the same nature, too.

Feel free - go where you please - the way is clear and open; this is the most beautiful truth I have come to; my most valuable heart-felt understanding -- infinitely more valuable to me than gold, for which i have no use, except that it may grant me a few pure foods, fresh air, and some shelter-

Mother Earth's health is the only true wealth-

Once self-faith is attained completely, then miracles do and truly occur left and right - every moment becomes a miracle.  ' You are a miracle, and everything you touch could be a miracle ' - the same Zen monk.

No one has an answer better than you - what your heart tells - beneath all the layers is the Sun- You are That.

Be at peace -- you will attain everything you wish for, in time, - all of us do, who follow Light and Peace and inner love, inner sight -

There is guidance within -- when one learns to be healthful to Earth, Earth gives so much wisdom, beauty and love in return;  'The guardians of heaven and earth,' wrote another Zen monk, from many centuries ago, Dogen, 'Assure fulfillment.'

What is done from love will work beautiful things - Most simply -- all that you wish for, you will one day attain, so wish for good things :sun:

Follow your heart, not others, and someday - sooner or later, I assure you, all will be well.

You are loved, already - you are perfect, as you are.  All you have said shows you have a good heart; trust it.

Letting go of all thoughts of being perfect is perfect itself; You are as beautiful as earth, sun, moon and sky --

as all are of the same nature as them - Light;


Simply feel your heart- what it tells you, is healthful to you and for others - no need to sell oneself.

The poor are beloved, most of all -- those who reject materialism, these are the healers of mother earth;  these are beloved, divine, and honored and respected --

by all and any who are awake, to the life, the love, that is all around, and which rejects materialism; etc.


So very, very much peace and love to you - nothing material is necessary; we create all by our thoughts.

A fish eagle merely hunts only 10 minutes a day -- this and innumerable other aspects of nature, share infinite wisdom. . . No need for materialism, it is quite simply, false.  Based from false conceptions. 

In reality - there is light, peace, and love within the heart of all -- and never a reason to worry, fear or doubt, no matter what may happen - in a immeasurable number of years; no matter what happens.


Hold strong - stay true - you may go anywhere in the universe to travel that you wish.  I recommend walking, as the best way to travel, second to this would be riding a bi-cycle.  These are from wisdom, beauty and love, for earth and Life - These are Good.


Follow your heart- Trust in yourself-  you will succeed.  You, yourself, are the source of wisdom and beauty which you will ever receive -- no one else can give it to you; it is self-discovery.  Especially not those who want to take money from you:    Power disparities are to be avoided.


So, so, so, so very much peace and love, to all beings.


How much sweeter shall peace be, having striven through mountains, forests, winds and rains - and valleys - to attain. . . I promise you this, with all my heart;  You are wonderful, beloved, by all earth and nature, all your life - all through your life, every day of your life; 


You may be anything, you can attain anything - materially or spiritually, yet I'm here to share, the latter is more of which to care.


Peace, Light & Love -


Thank you for writing; for all the Good you do - in a world of sometimes illusion and sometimes Light - it may not always seem as if the Good which you do goes noticed -- Yet there is always someone, somewhere, who shall benefit of our love to earth and life -

Never underestimate Good - there is always someone, somewhere, who benefits from every good that you do -- every smile, every kindness, it creates a beautiful earth.

Thank you for your kindness: Past, present and future.

Kindness prevents suffering, &
Love and appreciation bring everything.

Peace, Love,
J.


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Innocent, Oldfield & Hegerland          Julia Delaney, Bothy Band                                        Rasta Girl, Sister Carol                    Genesis, Jorma K
I Wish You Peace, Lawrence Laughing                                                                                                                    Do Your Thing, Moondog                     
large  . . music garden . .  very
all peace                    them hi
Starhouse - main
Time Traveler's Guide


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