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Celestial Traveler
Random Observer



Registered: 03/03/11
Posts: 7,639
Loc: Idaho
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How do I find out what I want to do for a living?
#22375689 - 10/13/15 08:48 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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I'm in my early-mid twenties and been struggling with this for awhile. It has concerned me because while I know some people might claim otherwise, I feel that my age is far too late to still have questions about what I want to do with my life.
And even if it is natural for someone my age to still be uncertain about these things, knowing this does little to console me, because I know I only have one life and I am wasting time by just sitting around, wondering what the answer to this question might be when I have never been able to solve it.
Another source of anxiety over this is knowing what this implies about my overall character. Some of my peers in school knew what they wanted to pursue since their early teens, perhaps even earlier. The fact that I am still indecisive at this point seems to imply that I am a fragmented, indecisive person, and I know that these types of people rarely get anywhere.
On the bright side, I am currently attending graduate school, but I am struggling heavily with motivation, and I am not really enjoying it. The workload of school and my job combined leaves me worn out and exhausted, and with little time to myself, and I constantly have due dates hanging over my head. This type of stressful lifestyle is not the life I want for myself. Everyday the question of whether or not I really want to do this lingers in the back of my head.
Now understand that I am generally sober about the realities of work, and I understand that employment is a fundamental part of life, and people need to work in order to build and sustain society. I know that I am not entitled to anything and I don't expect to receive any handouts. I also don't want or ask for much in life in terms of monetary value. But I can't imagine a job/career that I would enjoy, and recently I have learned a critical life lesson that trying to force yourself to do something that you don't want to do is eventually going to break you down and cause you to collapse. So I do not think it is desirable or even sustainable for me to hold a job/career for the rest of my life that I am going to hate every single day.
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King Klick
That Guy Everyone Knows



Registered: 11/13/11
Posts: 7,267
Last seen: 7 months, 4 hours
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Theres no point to life. Youre not wasting anything permanent. Even happiness, is just stimulus. So get that idea outta your head and youll probably be happy.
-------------------- Your god is dead, and I killed him. When you’re lost, here I am. Forever with your soul
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DieCommie

Registered: 12/11/03
Posts: 29,258
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Quote:
But I can't imagine a job/career that I would enjoy...
You have to foster and nurture passion for a career, you don't find it. Switch this statement around in your head and imagine enjoying the job/career you have. This is how 99% of people who enjoy their work do it.
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Celestial Traveler
Random Observer



Registered: 03/03/11
Posts: 7,639
Loc: Idaho
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Re: How do I find out what I want to do for a living? [Re: King Klick] 1
#22375754 - 10/13/15 09:00 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
King Klick said: Theres no point to life. Youre not wasting anything permanent. Even happiness, is just stimulus. So get that idea outta your head and youll probably be happy.
I have that sentiment too, that there is no point to life. The thing is I might not share this sentiment when I'm on my deathbed.
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Celestial Traveler
Random Observer



Registered: 03/03/11
Posts: 7,639
Loc: Idaho
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Re: How do I find out what I want to do for a living? [Re: DieCommie]
#22375759 - 10/13/15 09:01 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
DieCommie said:
Quote:
But I can't imagine a job/career that I would enjoy...
You have to foster and nurture passion for a career, you don't find it. Switch this statement around in your head and imagine enjoying the job/career you have. This is how 99% of people who enjoy their work do it.
That's vague. How do I "foster and nurture" passion for a career that doesn't come naturally? This is mostly a sincere question so I would appreciate if you could tell me how. But I will also speculate that there are many people who have convinced themselves that they succeeded at this, but deep down at their core they still hate their job and simply repressed their true feelings.
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Celestial Traveler
Random Observer



Registered: 03/03/11
Posts: 7,639
Loc: Idaho
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Quote:
336 said: You don't find out what you want to do for a living...
It finds you.
Where is the animation in your sig from?
I have seen that somewhere before and am dying to remember where.
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Uzziel
O_o


Registered: 12/30/10
Posts: 11,689
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Try a bunch of shit.
Find out you hate it all.
Try a bunch of different shit.
Find out you hate all that shit, too..
Well damnit, keep on trying till you find shit.
Then be like...sHIT.... THATS MY SHIT RIGHT THERE
Then you do the shit and its fun shit and that shit right there...damn...
shit
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DieCommie

Registered: 12/11/03
Posts: 29,258
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Edited by DieCommie (11/12/16 11:12 PM)
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Oldgregg
I'm old gregg!


Registered: 03/29/09
Posts: 3,066
Loc: China
Last seen: 30 days, 14 hours
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http://www.mynextmove.org/explore/ip
check this out, might give you a general idea of what you want to do
--------------------

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Celestial Traveler
Random Observer



Registered: 03/03/11
Posts: 7,639
Loc: Idaho
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Re: How do I find out what I want to do for a living? [Re: DieCommie]
#22375873 - 10/13/15 09:23 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
DieCommie said: Yea, it's not necessarily easy. Self talk is very influential. The things you repeat to yourself in your head change the way you think over time. If you let yourself go down a path of negative self talk your feelings, emotions and quality of life will mirror that negativity.
I worked in a restaurant for over 7 years. I saw many people absolutely beaten down by their own negativity over their job. I can't really blame them, restaurant work sucks. I avoided that by consciously and purposefully focusing on the good. No, I didn't love my job in the restaurant. But I didn't hate it either and it didn't wear down my life. Restaurant work really isn't all that bad.
Now I am graduated and I don't love my job. But I focus on the good and look at the world as a whole to gain perspective and feel grateful. And I know this won't be my job forever, so there is no use beating myself up over it - that only hurts me more.
If you hate your job too much, quit. (I'm looking for another job because I don't like mine.) Don't tell yourself that you will have "a" job/career for the rest of your life. That is negative self talk that will not help you one bit. Furthermore, it's most likely not true.
If you let yourself be too stubborn or stuck up to enjoy work that is not a "passion" then you are only spiting yourself. Now I am saying the same thing over and over again in different ways... Your peers that know what they wanted to do since they were teens - don't think they are in a better position than you. They will likely not get exactly what they want, they will still have to deal with disappointment. And who stays the course on a path that was chosen while a teenager? A close minded fool I would say.
I know none of this is a "solution", but I think its a perspective and a way of thinking. Consider seeing a counselor. It doesn't mean you are crazy or bad, this is what they are for.
Remember, your self talk and perspective are reinforcing to your quality of life. The brain is very malleable and plastic. You can learn to like or hate almost anything if you set your mind to it.
Thanks, this is pretty good advice. To some extent I already understood some of the points you made and had already applied them at some point in my life.
For example, I used to work at a grocery store, and while it was menial pay and some of the work was monotonous, I did my best to keep a positive attitude. One thing I kept telling myself (which was true) is that there are people who work 12 hours a day, 7 days a week. And there are people who work in coal mines, or other dangerous jobs that are a lot harder than mine. And there are workers in other countries who don't benefit from minimum wage laws. Anyways you get the picture, things like these I would tell myself to keep my head up and it did work pretty well. But even after awhile I started to lose strength in this and got into an attitude that "yeah, I'm really not happy here."
I'm not one of those stuck up people who tries NOT to like my job just because I tell myself I'm not supposed to like it. I know what you mean by that. But I just can't really fool myself any longer into thinking I'm happy because my deeper self calls bullshit on it.
Also one of the things that was really keeping my head up for awhile was hope. For many years I've always been hoping confidently that things would start to get better, but they still haven't. I'm still poor, tired, feel overworked, etc. A lot of this is attributed to severe insomnia which makes life a lot harder than it really has to be, but anyways I guess I'm rambling at this point.
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Celestial Traveler
Random Observer



Registered: 03/03/11
Posts: 7,639
Loc: Idaho
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Quote:
336 said:

Ty sir.
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wolfiewolfie
Just wingin' it.


Registered: 06/16/15
Posts: 2,177
Loc: Australia
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Try not to think too much about what it is you really want to do and get out there and try different things. Your 'dream career' might be something that hasn't even crossed your mind yet
--------------------
The only reason why T-rex's can't walk backwards is because they're extinct, which perfectly explains why there are no headaches in the rainforest; The parrots eat 'em all. My Drawings
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rackem



Registered: 11/27/09
Posts: 14,024
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op.. im a certified technician, currently a production manager, and will be a fiber engineer by the end of the month..
fuck knowing what you want to do for a living.. that shits overrated. never settle, go big.
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SaltyPeaks
Jedi Master



Registered: 11/13/13
Posts: 153
Last seen: 4 years, 8 months
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The only way I could imagine someone not knowing what they want to do is if they can't find joy in anything. I think you should first figure out what you really like to do, even if you just like sitting on a coach and smoking weed. Once you know what you like to do best, do it. That last part is obviously the hardest by far. But there is someone out there making a good living doing almost anything you can think of, smoking weed in front of a camera has made multiple youtubers a living. I use that only as an example of something most people wouldn't consider possible, there is endless possibilities though.
You like fishing? Be a fishing guide, I personally know some that make incredibly good money and get to fish all over the world.
Like having sex? Do porn, don't know any personally, but if that's what you like to do most just do it.
Like watching movies? Be a film critic, or get into the business.
Most of the fringe stuff doesn't require any fancy degree, just real motivation and passion. People say it all the time that if you love your work you'll never work a day in your life, but very few follow that advice.
There is a spin on it however that I would tell someone with an interest for something that could never be made into a living, I have yet to figure out what that would be, but anyway I would tell them this; You either do what you love, and don't care what you get paid as long as you can survive, or you do what you don't and spend the money on what you do love. Either way you're doing what you love, just one is more direct.
-------------------- It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was Earth.
I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn't feel like a giant, I felt very, very small... -Neil Armstrong
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