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bigjoshman
noob



Registered: 03/23/14
Posts: 574
Loc: Ohio
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At a crossroads.
#22366883 - 10/12/15 07:07 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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I've been away from psychedelics pretty much for a year. I had a couple experiences alone that weren't a good time so I just popped a klonopin and went to bed. The reason the others weren't a good time is that I was tripping behind my girlfriends back. She was always my trip partner prior to a bad experience I had about a year ago. Anyways we've had conversations about how I want to trip again someday. She just says it's not a good idea because of how I had a manic episode. I try to explain to her it's because we did too much, but she still won't consider it. I can't tell if she is right or if she is controlling me too much. We just smoke weed now and are having a good time with it. But I still miss the good times with lsd like dancing in the rain watching dumb and dumber while tripping and laughing my ass off and enjoying great music. I don't miss the manic thought process that doses over 2 tabs bring to me though... Even if I don't go at it anytime soon I still think I want to someday.. maybe that's irresponsible thinking or maybe not. Remember she saw me have a manic episode I experienced it so she might have a different viewpoint than me she was tripping as well but psychedelics are stronger with me than her .. I like that I can smoke outside and chill in my parents house now as well since I've reastablished trust with them and everything. Should I just stick with weed and avoid Lucy forever since I can't have a good time hiding behind my girlfriends back. Or perhaps mention it again in the future when we have our own place together?
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Weiliithinker
Enlightenment Seeker

Registered: 01/13/14
Posts: 206
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
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It's not fun tripping with someone having a manic episode, it takes away from your trip because you feel the need to babysit the other person and it becomes stressful Assure her you want to take a very small amount so you can stay in your right mind during the trip She not trying to control you, she just doesn't want to experience to take place, it's not as fun for her as you may think
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Weiliithinker
Enlightenment Seeker

Registered: 01/13/14
Posts: 206
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
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If your having manic episodes while under the influence of psychs, you should probably Steer clear of any thing more than a tab either way, your psyche may become damaged with continued use, and that probably what your gf thinks also
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bigjoshman
noob



Registered: 03/23/14
Posts: 574
Loc: Ohio
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She won't even listen if I tell her I would only want a half of a tab. It was a very bad trip I thought I was dreaming so I did things I would only do in a dream like scream and try to jump out of a moving car to wake myself up. Ahhh maybe I'll give it a couple years or try to..
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bigjoshman
noob



Registered: 03/23/14
Posts: 574
Loc: Ohio
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It sucks wanting to trip but being unable to have a good time because of guilt...
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voodoochild1000
psychonautic



Registered: 02/04/15
Posts: 2,531
Loc: Cascades!
Last seen: 8 months, 15 days
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B honest with your gf!
-------------------- ....."So Great!"....-Me on 1.5mg LSD ...."We don't need this" -Larkin in response to my "just picked wild LSD!" post
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bigjoshman
noob



Registered: 03/23/14
Posts: 574
Loc: Ohio
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I try to but she just gets mad at me and says youre just gonna do it anyway. Idk it's frustrating I love her so much but sometimes I do whatever it takes to avoid an argument because I won't win
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zZZz
jesus


Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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i would be concerned as well, but if it is something that u feel u cant abstain from for too long i suppose u could just not get her involved at all.
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voodoochild1000
psychonautic



Registered: 02/04/15
Posts: 2,531
Loc: Cascades!
Last seen: 8 months, 15 days
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Re: At a crossroads. [Re: zZZz]
#22367338 - 10/12/15 09:44 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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If you don't get it straight with your girlfriend you're always going to feel a little weird and guilty and it's going to be an awkward conversation afterwards. My lady thinks I'm a little crazy tripping as much as I do but I have talked with her and explained it in a way that she knows I'm doing this for personal development and making myself a better person.
-------------------- ....."So Great!"....-Me on 1.5mg LSD ...."We don't need this" -Larkin in response to my "just picked wild LSD!" post
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Hanz
Freak & Gentleman



Registered: 08/02/15
Posts: 2,932
Loc: Amsterdam
Last seen: 5 years, 4 months
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Re: At a crossroads. [Re: zZZz]
#22367349 - 10/12/15 09:48 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Have you considered other substances... those with less possibility for a manic episode?
Better not do anything in secret. It creates tension, and affirms the distrust if it ever comes out.
Love, Hanz.
-------------------- Small scale alternative parties rich in empathy and extravagance. Happen to know of one in the vicinity of Amsterdam? PM me my dear fellow. I love to meet some other freaks. Oh and, if you can,.. embrace the nyctomorph. It needs you.
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bigjoshman
noob



Registered: 03/23/14
Posts: 574
Loc: Ohio
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Re: At a crossroads. [Re: Hanz]
#22367417 - 10/12/15 10:05 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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I figure lsd was my best bet to avoid a manic episode but I kept pushing 1 dose further which I'm not sure why because 3 was too strong for me then we pushed it to 4 each.I feel like I do need to tell her it's just I cave every time because I don't want to spend the rest of the next two days or so arguing or feeling like an addict...
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voodoochild1000
psychonautic



Registered: 02/04/15
Posts: 2,531
Loc: Cascades!
Last seen: 8 months, 15 days
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Proper ritualistic usage. ...nothing addicted about that!...I trip every 2 weeks...and my lady is ok with that...because she understands my intent..
-------------------- ....."So Great!"....-Me on 1.5mg LSD ...."We don't need this" -Larkin in response to my "just picked wild LSD!" post
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bigjoshman
noob



Registered: 03/23/14
Posts: 574
Loc: Ohio
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How would you reccommend I bring it up? I wouldn't be able to trip often because I have to do it in secret unfortunately from the parents you know..
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Still_tripping
Lord yes!


Registered: 10/07/15
Posts: 747
Loc: A small hot country
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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You appear to have 2 issues here to deal with.
Obviously you still want to trip which is understandable given all the good memories associated with it and this feeling is strong enough to have you doing it behind your GF's back. If she finds out though you are going to have a few more issues to deal with too. On the other hand if you don't trip because she won't let you it won't be long before you will resent her for it. You've already expressed a concern she is controlling you. Folks here have encouraged you to be honest with her because that is the only viable solution in the long run, if there is a long run for you two that is.
The other issue is your own feelings of tripping. It is easy to remember the good things when it is something you really want to do. Maybe a few more less than desirable trips is what you need to convince yourself that LSD has to become a thing of the past. That is what happened with me and I gave up that drug a long time ago, it was just too aggressive an experience for me anymore. So I ended up switching to the softer drugs that are fun with little danger associated with them. Point was though that is was my decision and was not forced upon me by someone else. I'm not saying your GF's attitude is wrong but she's giving you a hard choice to make. If she come's to understand how you feel she may cut you some more slack or she may force you to make a decision, which in the long run may not work out as well as she hopes.
Good luck with it and with her.
--------------------
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bigjoshman
noob



Registered: 03/23/14
Posts: 574
Loc: Ohio
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I'm gonna talk to her about it. I don't expect a good outcome but I figure being honest is better than being sneaky and doing it behind her back. At least that is my conclusion at the moment. I really think I do want to do lsd again. Light dose and never go above 2 hits and no more risky at home with family situations... I've never had a day trip and I have always wanted to have an active trip where I wasn't confined to a certain area. I am yet to experience one like that.
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P.Zappatecorum
Lophophilus



Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 2,094
Loc: Cactaceae
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
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So you lost your shit, had a psychotic episode and now your girl is terrified of you using psychs so you're sneaking them behind her back.
 Don't trip around her and forget about her ever being comfortable with it, you did what most women find nearly as frightening and bad as a guy who gets drunk and beats her, which is take too many drugs and lose your mind in front of her. That's my wife's no. 1 fear and if I ever did fuck up that bad, you could be sure that she'd never let me trip again. You done fucked up.
If you must trip, tell her it's something you feel you have to do, that you'll be careful, do it at a friends house with a sitter, but be prepared for her to not accept that and if she dumps you over it, that's a choice you'll have to make. But at least be honest. Maybe in time, if you manage to have a bunch of trips without a return of any psychosis, she'll chill out.
Sounds to me like you shouldn't be taking psychs though. You should never lose your shit, even on high doses. If I'm going to go balls deep I do it alone, in a safe and isolated room where I can be as bat-shit crazy as I want. I've had friends that have aggravated underlying mental illnesses with drugs and ended up institutionalized, lost their wife, house custody of their kids, just, fucking ruined their lives because they pushed their minds to far and went bat-shit crazy for a while. If your mind isn't sound and doesn't react well to hallucinogens, you should leave them alone.
Edited by P.Zappatecorum (10/12/15 12:27 PM)
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bigjoshman
noob



Registered: 03/23/14
Posts: 574
Loc: Ohio
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At 4 hits of acid and after watching a scary part in a movie it set me off I really just thought I was dreaming. I knew I fucked up as soon as I sobered up I wouldn't have freaked out so bad if I hadn't done it in such a bad setting
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bigjoshman
noob



Registered: 03/23/14
Posts: 574
Loc: Ohio
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Don't tell me normal people don't lose their shit on high doses for them.. John Lennon had to quit because he had too many bad trips was he fucked up mentally? I don't think so. Just so happens I don't need as much to get to that point but I know it now
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Bigfeely123
Stranger
Registered: 01/30/15
Posts: 2,594
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Quote:
bigjoshman said: Don't tell me normal people don't lose their shit on high doses for them.. John Lennon had to quit because he had too many bad trips was he fucked up mentally? I don't think so. Just so happens I don't need as much to get to that point but I know it now

I really don't believe that people who have bad trips must have some sort of deep-seeded underlying mental illness... That's pretty much the equivalent of saying someone who drinks too much and blacks out has a mental illness. Sometimes too much is just too much.
bigjoshman, you are your own person. You do what you want-not what others expect you to do.
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Bigfeely123
Stranger
Registered: 01/30/15
Posts: 2,594
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Quote:
Weiliithinker said: It's not fun tripping with someone having a manic episode, it takes away from your trip because you feel the need to babysit the other person and it becomes stressful Assure her you want to take a very small amount so you can stay in your right mind during the trip She not trying to control you, she just doesn't want to experience to take place, it's not as fun for her as you may think
I don't think that OP thinks that at all.
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