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quinn
some kinda love


Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 6,799
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annoyed,,
#22366645 - 10/12/15 03:31 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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like, what if we are all these malformed half leaking balloons floating clumsily, jumping at ghosts?
am i going to be hounded by the ghosts of my past to my grave? until i become an actual ghost?
am i going to drift through life with this emotional baggage forever... you know that feeling when you feel things are 'going well' and that you are 'progressing' and then you have an experience that makes you realise you havent progressed very far at all.
that feeling..
i feel super annoyed now and inclined to whine about it on the internet or do some other kind of self indulgent thing. 
like seriously, do you feel like you are emotionally developing through your whole life? that it's one step forward after another, one lesson building on another?
did you feel that to a certain age and then lose it? did you find it? is it always a struggle..
have you gotten from being a bad entity to a good one? and what did you do? maybe you are just an entity that recognises you are not that great or you are kinda bad whihc actually makes you when all is said and done a beautiful entity of truth and real imperfection...
what kind of entity are you??
-------------------- dripping with fantasy
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quinn
some kinda love


Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 6,799
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Re: annoyed,, [Re: quinn]
#22366739 - 10/12/15 04:55 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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how do you guarantee that you arent wasting your time with your life?
how do you guarantee that you dont think you are levelling up into some impressive creature of esteem and intelligence and respect and then are unexpectedly reduced to a sniffling muddle of snot and tears when a cousin calls you 'strange smelly teddy' (ted being your hypothetical name) as they did when you were a child at a family thanksgiving one year
-------------------- dripping with fantasy
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once in a lifetime
sun child



Registered: 02/12/15
Posts: 1,807
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Re: annoyed,, [Re: quinn] 1
#22367819 - 10/12/15 11:47 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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hehe. not to worry Quinn!!
there's good and bad in all life, and we all do plenty of good - sometimes without realizing it. .
When you smile to a stranger, or give someone a hug randomly - those things are felt not just by them -- if someone else sees you do it, they probably get a boost to their immune system as well,
as they found out that anyone who performs, receives or even observes an act of kindness does. . .
as goethe said even almost 200 years ago, every action and word echoes throughout infinity. .
but that's just in the human sphere - i also feel like, the good we do for mother earth is primary. . . and - it does no help to worry about it ( the very etymology of the word worry is quite revealing!!! )
but, change and transformation of our behaviors and treatment of earth mother, that is a
cause for great joy.
peace and so much gladness to you Quinn.. I've only ever really seen positives from you, so I think you are a wonderful human being, at least.
As for the Teddy thing - yep. . . yep. Have been there too. . . time and distance are often the most helpful, most healing factors to those type of relationships. ..
A few years doing art or hobby or anything, and then visiting again. . . can be nice. . . and if, the cousin wasn't growing as much during that time --
well - remember that all life are your cousins. . . all are your family, brother sister father mother ....
at least, I have done ... it seems profound in fact... But about that particular thing - I understand well... One thing is very sensitive people. . it's a very good thing in fact. There's a ancient, wrong view. .. well nevermind it 
people like Antonio Esfandiari and Tom Dwan could not have gotten where they are without being very sensitive to people's microbehaviors and the rest.
-------------------- Innocent, Oldfield & Hegerland Julia Delaney, Bothy Band Rasta Girl, Sister Carol Genesis, Jorma K I Wish You Peace, Lawrence Laughing Do Your Thing, Moondog large . . music garden . . veryall peace them hiStarhouse - main Time Traveler's Guide
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Roostertail

Registered: 09/27/15
Posts: 300
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
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I was at a gathering once and a boy was crying on his birthday. I was leaving and decided to part ways with my old life style and a tear came to my eye.
Sometimes wee look back but what way the energy flows is all up to the Supreme Being.
I picked up my medallion this year and was flooded with is this really happening. A nightly inventory will lesson the load and a honest appraisal of our wrongs will diminish the threats of a rocky ride to freedom.
We reach the highest heights in between breaths. Thats what a wise man passed down to me.
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once in a lifetime
sun child



Registered: 02/12/15
Posts: 1,807
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'We reach the highest heights in between breaths. Thats what a wise man passed down to me.'
this was beautiful - and could see written from such a beautiful level. Awesomeness 
nightly inventory - i like that very much too. .. from various disciplines, it's been suggested as a wonderful way to improve.
-------------------- Innocent, Oldfield & Hegerland Julia Delaney, Bothy Band Rasta Girl, Sister Carol Genesis, Jorma K I Wish You Peace, Lawrence Laughing Do Your Thing, Moondog large . . music garden . . veryall peace them hiStarhouse - main Time Traveler's Guide
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Roostertail

Registered: 09/27/15
Posts: 300
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
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I complain sometimes like the sun is too bright or I cant hear the music. My feet get tripped up and I really need to seek anothers help.
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once in a lifetime
sun child



Registered: 02/12/15
Posts: 1,807
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We all do, too... as i saw from just another post - you're awesome, lending a hand to those who need it --
' we have two hands, one to help someone up, and one to receive help up '
vivekananda methinks.
-------------------- Innocent, Oldfield & Hegerland Julia Delaney, Bothy Band Rasta Girl, Sister Carol Genesis, Jorma K I Wish You Peace, Lawrence Laughing Do Your Thing, Moondog large . . music garden . . veryall peace them hiStarhouse - main Time Traveler's Guide
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quinn
some kinda love


Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 6,799
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thanks friends you pick me up a bit.... it's been a long time since last night, a million things have happened.. right now i feel pretty good
im not sure how to defeat the monsters of my life but good people help.. i hope i can be one of them .. i hope i can do justice to the people i love in this lifetime.. i hope i can not be a dead shit, to transcend the my shitiness
-------------------- dripping with fantasy
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quinn
some kinda love


Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 6,799
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Re: annoyed,, [Re: quinn]
#22372125 - 10/13/15 08:18 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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even transcend it just a bit.. y'know.. every now and then..
-------------------- dripping with fantasy
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quinn
some kinda love


Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 6,799
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Re: annoyed,, [Re: quinn]
#22372136 - 10/13/15 08:23 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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i just want to see the Godhead emerge out of my silly life for like a few moments and kiss someone when they're not looking and disappear...
is that too much to ask
-------------------- dripping with fantasy
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quinn
some kinda love


Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 6,799
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Re: annoyed,, [Re: quinn]
#22372137 - 10/13/15 08:23 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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*sighs*
-------------------- dripping with fantasy
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Roostertail

Registered: 09/27/15
Posts: 300
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
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Re: annoyed,, [Re: quinn]
#22372324 - 10/13/15 09:24 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Next time you meet a veteran, shake his hand and thank him for his service. Thats what I was taught.
It helps a great deal when all else fails.
I try to keep my monsters in the closet but when thry do appear I pass them like a drink.
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once in a lifetime
sun child



Registered: 02/12/15
Posts: 1,807
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Re: annoyed,, [Re: quinn]
#22372346 - 10/13/15 09:28 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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ah, you reminded me of a nice memory.. when i was a kid, i would have these tremendous crushes, - later i found where i'm meant to be - but my best friend Andrew, a super-genius. . taught me a lot but once i asked him advice about a girl i really liked. . . he said, they liked the unexpected, and suggested i kiss her on the cheek while walking past her in the hall. . . i never did, but it was okay :-) in the long run.
hehe,
a while ago i wrote, 'disappear' is the only self-rhyming word in the american language.

all that you wish for, i am sure you will achieve, dear quinn.
i remember a lovely expression of that by viv too . . . ' i for one, believe nothing in the universe can separate a person from what they truly deserve. '
i think fairly close to exact.
so glad you are feeling good today! :-) i remember something i just saw by the dalai lama. . . am not sure of exact words,
but it was the caption over a video when he got a birhtday cake and he said, ' so each new morning, new birthday, '
something like that 
strength, power, peace, success and all happiness to you quinn -
best, j.
-------------------- Innocent, Oldfield & Hegerland Julia Delaney, Bothy Band Rasta Girl, Sister Carol Genesis, Jorma K I Wish You Peace, Lawrence Laughing Do Your Thing, Moondog large . . music garden . . veryall peace them hiStarhouse - main Time Traveler's Guide
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