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Invisiblevandago
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I'm becoming increasingly socially awkward around women.
    #22361275 - 10/10/15 11:30 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Like all of them.  It doesn't matter what age.....I just can't make eye contact, or form a word without stuttering.  If I do talk to a girl it's like straight coffee talk....shit about the weather...just solid going through the motions.  I rarely even seek out conversation with a woman anymore......which sucks because when I actually find one I can talk to, flirt with, divulge info too, I am happier overall and time goes by easier.  I have like 0 female friends, I don't talk to my sisters any more, I hear from my mom once or twice a month......I mean I rarely talk to guys either.....its not like I don't want to, I just can't remember how to be the person I enjoy being. When I talk to a woman I instantly start judging myself, my life, my words, everything but her and just think RUN.


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Re: I'm becoming increasingly socially awkward around women. [Re: vandago]
    #22362444 - 10/11/15 09:57 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

vandago said:
I just can't remember how to be the person I enjoy being.




Maybe it's time to join the army, to be all that you can be.  Oh wait, you said Enjoy...

Personally I've pretty much forgotten how to socialize and have fun with people.  Maybe if I liked people more it would be more of a concern and a priority.  I mean, I want to like people, but nowadays people are pretty much a drag.  Too much texting, cell phoning, yakity yak but never listen or observe what's really going on.

And what is going on?  To anyone observing even half eyes open, we can see the start of WWIII and an economic collapse unlike the world has ever seen.  Or, we can wonder who will win the football games today, and if their Fantasy Team will win money against insiders stealing from them.

I mean, what's not "rigged"???  Social interactions are rigged as well, rigged by social convention, status, money, power, control, jealousy, greed and fear.

So get out there, have some fun, life is short!


--------------------
Anxiety is what you make it.


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Invisiblerewind
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Re: I'm becoming increasingly socially awkward around women. [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #22364562 - 10/11/15 05:40 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

You should maybe try a benzodiazepine like Klonopin. I've been prescribed it on and off since 2009. For me it does wonders in the hitting it off with girls department.


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OfflineLucisM
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Re: I'm becoming increasingly socially awkward around women. *DELETED* [Re: vandago]
    #22364676 - 10/11/15 06:05 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Post deleted by Fennario

Reason for deletion: er



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Anonymous #1

Re: I'm becoming increasingly socially awkward around women. [Re: Lucis]
    #22366728 - 10/12/15 04:44 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Vandago. Sounds like a confidence problem to me. It sounds like you have taken a serious look at who you are and what you want. It also sounds like you have no idea how to get there...

You are obviously not a "natural" with women, maybe 10 percent of guys are? IDK. Most men need to really learn and teach themselves how to be confident which unlocks the key to being successful with women and as a bonus with men too... Funny how that one works. But of course the goal here is really to be more confident, successful, and an overall more attractive person right? I would suggest looking up guides on this type of thing. I am guessing your father or older brothers or cousins never taught you. So the reality is you need to teach yourself. Yes it will take time.

What I did was I went to bars every night I could for a long time and naturally you get better with people. But if you also practice the art of attraction which you will learn if you read books, watch youtube videos, ect, WHILE you do the bar scene (or whatever scene you choose) your progress will be much quicker.

At least this is what I did and am still currently doing. The benefit in the end is in every area of your life though as you will notice.

All I can say is what I have experienced so far. I notice when I go out now that there are very few men who actually approach the women (especially the attractive ones), and if they do they strike out most the time. Well this actually makes it easier for the guy who has confidence because he knows he has a better chance than most the other guys there.

All I am saying is that this is actually more of a learned trait/skill than something you are born with...

And sure, Xanax just like alcohol can loosen your nerves and get you out of your comfort zone and allow you to be more natural, but at the same time it will FUCK up your life if you let it... And you see where I am going with this? I have done some xanax in the same situation. I have come to find out that xanax is really only supposed to be used for when you NEED it... You need to be talking to women at least every weekend (and a LOT of them) but probably throughout the week as well. What happens when you have a xanax addiction lol?

As far as the heroin/drug problems I would just worry about not ruining your life and maybe find someone a little lower in the looks department while you do the same steps?

.2 cents


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Offlinebloodsheen
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Re: I'm becoming increasingly socially awkward around women. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22366996 - 10/12/15 08:01 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

So OP, what else is going on in your life? Are you doing a lot of drugs, living in a shitty situation, etc? While I agree that forcing yourself to talk to women helps, it sounds like the fact that its only getting worse for you might be a symptom of a bigger problem

Just saying, real confidence is the best, if you're ok with your life it will show naturally. However, fake confidence works surprisingly just as well. Like seriously, have a few drinks and just imagine you are a confident person. The best and coolest women out there will probably pick up on your bullshit immediately, but more than fifty percent of women will fall for it hook line and sinker. And its not just confidence in the sense that you walk up to her and talk, its everything. If you are going to touch her arm, dont hesitate or do it awkwardly, just do it like its the most natural thing in the world.

I spent most of my life being afraid of women and it sucks. My ex is an evil cunt but she did give me the practice I needed to learn how suave and cool I can really be. I decided right at the beginning I wasn't going to be a little bitch. I was going to take what I wanted and fuck the consequences... And honestly it worked. Part of the reason she dumped me is because I got too close and stopped being that cool confident guy who first started hitting on her. She saw the person I really was too soon and she lost interest. I'm glad she got rid of me as early as she did because after it was all over I realized how blind I was to how awful of a person she was, but if I had just kept up my charade of confidence and basically being a genius badass with a soft side (women fucking adore that shit) we would have lasted a lot longer.

So anyway, moral of this story is that if you start faking it now, it might turn into real confidence later on, but if you're life is absolute shit you need to just stop worrying about women and take care of that first. Get mental help, get a better job, whatever it is you need to get your life together. I'm moving across the country in December because my life is shit, and even just knowing I have a new and exciting experience on the horizon has made me feel better about myself and less depressed


--------------------


A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog


Edited by bloodsheen (10/12/15 08:13 AM)


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Offlinecircastes
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Re: I'm becoming increasingly socially awkward around women. [Re: bloodsheen] * 1
    #22374918 - 10/13/15 06:27 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

After many years of struggle I've more or less attributed ALL my anxiety to brain dysfunction. About to start a new medication that may help said brain dysfunction, called clozapine. It might be a similar situation for you. Maybe not clozapine but maybe some of the SSxx medications (unless you're paranoid?)

Well that's more a statement coming from the fact that I'm sick of it. There are actually some psychological approaches that are beginning to help me.

- take it easy in all aspects of life. Try not to stress over what you're like around women, and try not to stress that there's no milk in the fridge. Just go up and get some more milk. Don't stress over money, education, THINK IT THROUGH... how seriously am I taking this? How hard should I try? How important is the outcome, really? If you reduce anxiety in general in your life, and have long enjoyable anxiety-free moments, you won't feel so intense about failures or possible failures... and the overall excitement range of the body/brain will decrease, making talking to women easier, perhaps...

- look at the anxiety-producing event (talking to women) as an anomaly in your life, it starts here, I'm talking now, then the anxiety hits, then it's over. So then it's over... get on with something else, and let the anxiety pass. Make sure you let the anxiety pass. Then next time the anxiety comes on, oh it's this weird shit again, there is no personal judgment to be made, there is no real failure, there is only some anomaly.

- if you have anxiety issues at all you should always be stopping and questioning the big question of, "What am I afraid of?"
... you may or may not take it further: "this isn't Compton, this isn't Iraq, there are police around, people are busy with their own lives, even if they judge me I'm sure it's kinda a funny look on my face anyway, what's the big deal, tomorrow is another day..." etc. But usually just calmly inquiring what you're afraid of is enough. Do it as much as you want.

:justdontknow:

I'm in the same boat.


--------------------
My solitude...
My shield...
My armour...

TESTED
WITH
FULL
FORCE


Edited by circastes (10/13/15 06:39 PM)


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Invisiblevandago
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Re: I'm becoming increasingly socially awkward around women. [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #22380953 - 10/14/15 09:25 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

LunarEclipse said:
Quote:

vandago said:
I just can't remember how to be the person I enjoy being.




Maybe it's time to join the army, to be all that you can be.  Oh wait, you said Enjoy...

Personally I've pretty much forgotten how to socialize and have fun with people.  Maybe if I liked people more it would be more of a concern and a priority.  I mean, I want to like people, but nowadays people are pretty much a drag.  Too much texting, cell phoning, yakity yak but never listen or observe what's really going on.

And what is going on?  To anyone observing even half eyes open, we can see the start of WWIII and an economic collapse unlike the world has ever seen.  Or, we can wonder who will win the football games today, and if their Fantasy Team will win money against insiders stealing from them.

I mean, what's not "rigged"???  Social interactions are rigged as well, rigged by social convention, status, money, power, control, jealousy, greed and fear.

So get out there, have some fun, life is short!





You are high.


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Invisiblevandago
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Re: I'm becoming increasingly socially awkward around women. [Re: rewind]
    #22380977 - 10/14/15 09:29 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

rewind said:
You should maybe try a benzodiazepine like Klonopin. I've been prescribed it on and off since 2009. For me it does wonders in the hitting it off with girls department.





I've been on and off benzos since 2009.  I hate them.  I have been trying more to get off them, but honestly the times where I had the most out of life, and was together the most, was while on them.....I just kept mixing them with alcohol....and made really shitty decisions.  The mix of those two drugs wrecked my life....and I got it back, but then just went straight downhill again.


The only social interaction I get is comedy, and that's not exactly inviting as much as it is a constant uphill social struggle to interact with witty people. 


I don't even think it's a confidence issue.  I think I have this built up imagine of what I want in a woman and I can't find it anywhere. I still think about a few of my ex's all the time, and I have that "I can't find what I had" again mindstate, but it's been fuckin years.  I almost don't believe in love in general anymore.


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Invisiblerewind
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Re: I'm becoming increasingly socially awkward around women. [Re: vandago]
    #22381664 - 10/15/15 12:56 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Obviously, I meant taking them as prescribed and not abusing them to get high, which means not mixing them with alcohol. A benzodiazepine combined with an antidepressant (an SSRI like Effexor or Celexa) and maybe an antipsychotic (like Zyprexa or Seroquel). It has worked for me.


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Re: I'm becoming increasingly socially awkward around women. [Re: rewind]
    #22381675 - 10/15/15 01:03 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

I'm the same way but lately I've just stopped giving a shit what people think of me. I'll just go up to people and talk and speak my mind weather I annoy them or not (most of the time I do) but I don't give a shit because I'm living my life and if they don't like me they can simply just walk away. Stop caring and those that enjoy your company will stay


--------------------
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To define is to confine.


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Invisiblevandago
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Re: I'm becoming increasingly socially awkward around women. [Re: rewind]
    #22381691 - 10/15/15 01:17 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

rewind said:
Obviously, I meant taking them as prescribed and not abusing them to get high, which means not mixing them with alcohol. A benzodiazepine combined with an antidepressant (an SSRI like Effexor or Celexa) and maybe an antipsychotic (like Zyprexa or Seroquel). It has worked for me.





I take them as prescribed now.  They help when I am on them.....but when I try to abstain from taking one I go catatonic.  I just lay in bed staring at the ceiling tense as fuck.  I stopped taking them for 3 years total and switched to nothing but exercise and healthy diet and I felt amazing....even when I'd get high off what have you...I would feel fine within a day or two.  Now I look at my weights and just sigh.....back to eating pickles and pretzels all day ( I find the time for healthy stuff sometimes, but not 3-5 squares a day ). 

I hate anti psychotics.  They have done horrid things to me.  I don't mess with SSRI's either. 

I don't even like being on Kpins.  The only reason I got back on them was because I was at rock bottom and not sorting anything out because I had extreme anxiety.  I knew if I had something to alleviate that, I would start to do the shitty task of finding a better job and wearing the storm I was in.....and it worked.....but now I am hooked on the damn things again and I don't feel I need them.

I guess I have all this reputation social stigma thing going on again now that I am doing entertainment.  I worry about every little thing I say to a person, and am living in total dogma.  If someone even cracks the slightest joke at me I buckle and go white in the face.  I can't take a prison or cop joke for the life of me anymore, I have a deep rooted fear of being locked back in a cell.  I guess I am extremely worried about making more connections that I will just lose.  I spend all my free time with my dogs....doing dog stuff.....and just letting my mind race.


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: I'm becoming increasingly socially awkward around women. [Re: vandago]
    #22381804 - 10/15/15 02:29 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Wait op how old are you?


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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Invisiblevandago
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Re: I'm becoming increasingly socially awkward around women. [Re: Enjoywho]
    #22381834 - 10/15/15 02:59 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

29. 30 in like 3 weeks.  My birthday is filled with doom too.  One of my good friends and his 2 year old daughter died on their way to my house, hit a deer and lost control head on into a semi on my birthday when I was 22.  Then when I was 25 on my bday we tried celebrating it again....took a few years off grieving at that time of year....and I am on my way to his brothers house and I hit a fucking deer.....totaled my car.  So now every time around this time of year I just get mentally wrecked and nervous as fuck.  I actually was starting to plan out my bday this year and do a big comedy music thing.....but everyone I tried planning it with just isn't down.

Getting to the point with age, trauma, and bitterness I just gave up on things and work all the damn time.  I was grinding out 72 hours a week until last week when I finally decided to tell a job goodbye due to lack of safety and a good schedule.  Not I am stuck doing midnights and just stressed and lonely.


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: I'm becoming increasingly socially awkward around women. [Re: vandago]
    #22381951 - 10/15/15 04:50 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Well fuck man I can't even remember what I was going to say. I'm sorry.

Oh ya. Just keep talking man who cares. They're just people.

Shit a girl I immediately started talking to as she was pretty as puck just quit. I messaged her on the face as she quit. I'm going to be completely honest I was crushing on you. She was like I really did too. But I'm gonna try to keep my family together.  She had just got back with her baby daddy but it never hurts to through in an application. I know your not hiring ATM but keep my resume on file. ::lol:


I just love talking to pretty girls. Just Talk to them man find a way to break the ice.

I'll give you an example. Her sister which is actually hotter :lol:

I was taking the bus and its a 45 minute ride. I got off at the corner store which is about a 15-20 minute walk from work. I thought she was a completely different girl. Oh wait your girl a's sister the one I was crushing on. Oh hello I'm me can I catch a ride to work. Anything to get an in I dont care when things don't work out me and the 2 sisters are friends and talk all the time now.

The end goal isn't sex fuck ill take all the friends in general I can get.

Just talk to them op I fail constantly but I keep doing it. Don't be afraid of rejection it happens.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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OfflineStill_tripping
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Re: I'm becoming increasingly socially awkward around women. [Re: vandago]
    #22381983 - 10/15/15 05:19 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

vandago said:
Like all of them.  It doesn't matter what age.....I just can't make eye contact, or form a word without stuttering...      ...I just can't remember how to be the person I enjoy being. When I talk to a woman I instantly start judging myself, my life, my words, everything but her and just think RUN.




I suspect you need to make peace with yourself first. That means doing what is necessary to become happy with who you are, and that usually means what you've accomplished, where you are going, and what your hopes are. When you've found that inner peace and become happy with yourself, then people will want to be around you and will want you as a friend.

Small bit of advice when talking to women. Break the ice by simply complimenting her on her most outstanding asset. Every woman has one and is aware of it and likes being complimented on it. Then be truthful by stating you wanted to meet/talk to her because you find her attractive. If she dosen't respond positively then that's her loss and you simply go find someone else.

The other thing to remember is that it is not up to you to carry the conversation, rather ask questions and listen. Everyone likes being listened to and women normally complain men don't listen to them. Ask her questions, look and act like you are interested and she'll talk your ears off. If you can survive that and still look interested she'll think you are the best man she's ever met.

It is a very full sea you are fishing in and luck will come eventually but the more self possessed and confident of yourself you are (and therefore the more you really do like yourself) the better it will work for you.


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Re: I'm becoming increasingly socially awkward around women. [Re: circastes]
    #22381989 - 10/15/15 05:23 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Describes beautifully "Anxiety is what you make it".


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Anxiety is what you make it.


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
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Re: I'm becoming increasingly socially awkward around women. [Re: Enjoywho]
    #22382497 - 10/15/15 09:04 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

EnjoyWho, STFU

@Vandago

It sounds like you're putting way too much pressure and stress on the situation. Women are people just like anyone else. Don't make the end goal "to bang" and you'll find that a lot of chicks are pretty easy to talk to. Just my two cents


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: I'm becoming increasingly socially awkward around women. [Re: Still_tripping]
    #22385366 - 10/15/15 08:14 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Still_tripping said:
Quote:

vandago said:
Like all of them.  It doesn't matter what age.....I just can't make eye contact, or form a word without stuttering...      ...I just can't remember how to be the person I enjoy being. When I talk to a woman I instantly start judging myself, my life, my words, everything but her and just think RUN.




I suspect you need to make peace with yourself first. That means doing what is necessary to become happy with who you are, and that usually means what you've accomplished, where you are going, and what your hopes are. When you've found that inner peace and become happy with yourself, then people will want to be around you and will want you as a friend.

Small bit of advice when talking to women. Break the ice by simply complimenting her on her most outstanding asset. Every woman has one and is aware of it and likes being complimented on it. Then be truthful by stating you wanted to meet/talk to her because you find her attractive. If she dosen't respond positively then that's her loss and you simply go find someone else.

The other thing to remember is that it is not up to you to carry the conversation, rather ask questions and listen. Everyone likes being listened to and women normally complain men don't listen to them. Ask her questions, look and act like you are interested and she'll talk your ears off. If you can survive that and still look interested she'll think you are the best man she's ever met.

It is a very full sea you are fishing in and luck will come eventually but the more self possessed and confident of yourself you are (and therefore the more you really do like yourself) the better it will work for you.




I agree. I was a very timid kid in high school. After I got out I realized fuck this I really like talking to pretty girls and I'm actually pretty funny and likeable. I treat them the same as any other person. Sure I guess I'll get a little anxiety asking a girl out but it doesn't start there. It's starts with banter.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: I'm becoming increasingly socially awkward around women. [Re: Enjoywho]
    #22385377 - 10/15/15 08:17 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Complimenting on an asset I love that shit. I do it all the time. Hey I like your shoes. When there like thank you and I had no intention of taking the conversation further. I walk down the street and do it. Because why not and they always thank me. Your welcome have a great day. As were both smiling and we both continue our journeys.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


Edited by Enjoywho (10/15/15 08:18 PM)


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OfflineKonyap

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Re: I'm becoming increasingly socially awkward around women. [Re: Enjoywho]
    #22385713 - 10/15/15 09:16 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Smile, make eye contact, stand near

usually what girls do
should work for you if they're avail


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OfflineTheMovement
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Re: I'm becoming increasingly socially awkward around women. [Re: vandago]
    #22387424 - 10/16/15 08:27 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Here is the key-

Say to yourself  " I am THE MAN IN THE ROOM" over and over and over again.  Does the man in the room shy away from conversation with that lovely lady sitting next to him?  No, he initiates conversation because he knows he is worth something.  He knows that no matter where he is, he is the most desirable person in the room.  He looks like a greek god.  He is funny, charismatic, and has value to add to other peoples lives.

This is you.  You are the man in the room.  Go out there and prove it.  Talk to everyone, not just women.  I Find that having a good time in general tends to attract women to me.  If you make eye contact with a woman, just go up and talk to her.  It get's easier with experience.

Fake it til you make it bro.  Self-image is one of the most important things.


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Anonymous #1

Re: I'm becoming increasingly socially awkward around women. [Re: TheMovement]
    #22391073 - 10/16/15 10:24 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

TheMovement said:
Here is the key-

Say to yourself  " I am THE MAN IN THE ROOM" over and over and over again.  Does the man in the room shy away from conversation with that lovely lady sitting next to him?  No, he initiates conversation because he knows he is worth something.  He knows that no matter where he is, he is the most desirable person in the room.  He looks like a greek god.  He is funny, charismatic, and has value to add to other peoples lives.

This is you.  You are the man in the room.  Go out there and prove it.  Talk to everyone, not just women.  I Find that having a good time in general tends to attract women to me.  If you make eye contact with a woman, just go up and talk to her.  It get's easier with experience.

Fake it til you make it bro.  Self-image is one of the most important things.




Yep! Just believe in yourself! All good things come with time.


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Re: I'm becoming increasingly socially awkward around women. [Re: TheMovement]
    #22391717 - 10/17/15 02:07 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

TheMovement said:
Here is the key-

Say to yourself  " I am THE MAN IN THE ROOM" over and over and over again.  Does the man in the room shy away from conversation with that lovely lady sitting next to him?  No, he initiates conversation because he knows he is worth something.  He knows that no matter where he is, he is the most desirable person in the room.  He looks like a greek god.  He is funny, charismatic, and has value to add to other peoples lives.

This is you.  You are the man in the room.  Go out there and prove it.  Talk to everyone, not just women.  I Find that having a good time in general tends to attract women to me.  If you make eye contact with a woman, just go up and talk to her.  It get's easier with experience.

Fake it til you make it bro.  Self-image is one of the most important things.





It's not myself I have to reassure matters and exists.  It's love. 

I am pretty damn confident.  I mean I get on a stage and make fun of myself and the crowd as a passion.  It takes a lot of courage to address a whole crowd. 

I literally don't believe in love anymore.  I think it's made up.  I don't even look at my own mother the way I used to.  I guess I am bitter.....or right?  I deeply miss the company of a female....the smell, soft touches, reassurance when I didn't know I need it, sharing food and moments......but then when that feeling becomes fleeting, and I end up bumfuck alone I wonder why I even bothered in the first place.....even keeping women friends, I just hear about their current male endeavors or their ex's, or other power trip style stuff where I am fully convinced all women hate men for no reason and just use them.  I've been told once or five times about the abortion clinic my mom walked out of only because she feared god......I've had the woman lift her gown up shrieking at me "LOOK AT WHAT YOU FUCKING DID TO MY BODY!!!!!"

The first girl I said I love you too instantly broke up with me for weed.  Fucking wrecked me someone would leave a person for smoking a plant.  Second girl I said it too I ended up leaving for a girl I lusted after.......turned out the girl I lusted after was PAID BY MY MOM TO SNITCH ON ME!!!!  I chased this girl for weeks, and she led me on and got TONS of info outta me ( I was 16 )....and I finally found real LSD one day and called her ecstatic....thats when the ball dropped and my mom kicked my door in the following day and ripped my room apart, my whole everything was exposed, she found all my weed and pills and I ate the strip I had left before she found it....so I'm spun and she's crying and I am denying everything.....finally she breaks and tells me shes been paying this girl to tag along with me and report back to her!


I tried love again.....she left me so quick.....pretty much forced the word out of me during sex and then left me.

Then I tried again....this time I thought it was so legit.....we were two peas in a pod....totally free of chains, always off doing our own thing then meeting up and it being amazing......til we started fighting badly.....just knew something was up......she had been cheating on me and doing meth with a lot of people I ended up finding out....this whole relationship went on for 5 years ( I didnt find out about the cheating til the 4th year when someone broke into my car just to leave me a note she had written to a guy she was fucking on my driver seat ).......we tried to work it out.....she ended up leaving me for her college professor......then she was with him for 5 years and cheated on him at a festival......she told him....he drove down to the lake and got black out drunk and driving him hit the guard rail and went into a coma.....when he came out of the coma she put the wedding ring on his chest and told him she was leaving him for the new guy she cheated on him with.....well of course that wrecked him even more so he drove back out to the lake and put a bullet through his heart......she now lives in the house him and her financed together with her new guy and their baby....just heartless. 


Next time I tried again, lasted a few years....but it was just non stop pressure about "getting my shit together" which never ended....no matter what.....I was never doing enough, and I was doing so so so much. It got drug out to the point of move out, move back in, move out, move back in.....

The only time I had really felt connected to someone since her ( 2010 ) was in 2013 with a girl I used to enjoy the hell out of her company.....prior to her being a heroin addict....when I hooked up with her on a more than friend level she revealed to me she had been on the needle a lot since we last talked.....and she was very very fucked up, more so than I remembered.....and I realized I was in love with a person I knew two years ago, not the person that she was then....we had a pregnancy scare and she was immediately about abortion....so I got a dog and she left me.....

Since her it's been fucking hell.  I had a prostitute follow me around for a whole summer that I didnt know was a hooker....and then she faked a pregnancy to fuck with my head....and I just collapsed at what a dunce I was.....how I always let my heart win and it always causes everything to crumble.....

Now I talk to women and it's like "what do you want?"  and the few women I talk to on a friend level I couldn't fathom it going further than texting because I have all this pent up bitterness. 


It hurts my soul to know the most connection I have found to a woman, or the best sex I've had, or the times I've spent with a woman were all just chemical based.....which is all love is?  With or without weed....or speed...or alcohol...or acid...or ecstacy.....its just a fake high?  And I've been fucked over by so many friends I turned into a total narcissist....I used to be the most generous person I could be....and I actually regret that......regretting being nice hurts my soul.


Like when I broke down months ago about getting an std and was blablabla loads loads loads poor me....there was a lot more than just herpes going on there.  Life fucking hurts more and more everyday, even when I feel like I'm letting go....I am just letting my guard down.


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OfflineTheMovement
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Re: I'm becoming increasingly socially awkward around women. [Re: vandago]
    #22392782 - 10/17/15 10:54 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Love is out there man, its just that sometimes it is temporary.  Some times it lasts a few months, sometimes a few weeks.  You can't let the transience of love stop you from trying.  I know it's hard, but you gotta get back on that horse and give it a shot again and again.

I recently got broken up with by a girl I loved.  It was tough because sometimes it comes out of nowhere, but I just threw myself into my schoolwork and started talking to this magical girl I met at a music festival back in May. I think we have a nice little relationship budding, we've hung out a few times and seem to click pretty well.

My point is that you shouldn't give up.


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Re: I'm becoming increasingly socially awkward around women. [Re: TheMovement]
    #22396127 - 10/18/15 01:01 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

TheMovement said:
Love is out there man, its just that sometimes it is temporary.  Some times it lasts a few months, sometimes a few weeks.  You can't let the transience of love stop you from trying.  I know it's hard, but you gotta get back on that horse and give it a shot again and again.

I recently got broken up with by a girl I loved.  It was tough because sometimes it comes out of nowhere, but I just threw myself into my schoolwork and started talking to this magical girl I met at a music festival back in May. I think we have a nice little relationship budding, we've hung out a few times and seem to click pretty well.

My point is that you shouldn't give up.





Doing my best not too.  I still maintain friendships with women, and I still talk to my mom....but not in person.....text, facebook, phone. 

There's still the 56 year old woman I am a boy toy too that I am weening away from as well.  She tried so hard, so I gave in and started a weird situation with her, and just wasn't doing well.  She is a sweet lady, but wrong place and time.  She and I talk on fb and she comes and gets me and takes me out to dinner occasionally and we trade off on the bills now...I try not to accept any gifts from her so I don't feel like I owe her anything, but she's never asked for anything in return, not even sex, I just feel obligated when someone desires me and helps me like that.


I totally respect women...almost too much.  I think at this point I respect them enough to just leave them be lol.  I have herpes, no license, and live in a squat house.....I may be handsome and have a job and am semi responsible, but I think a woman I desire for long term deserves better than I post trainwreck. 


I really gotta take the advice above and just not take things so seriously all the time.  Flirt, chat, forget about sex, go with the flow, remember if I do right things will unfold properly.  Gotta stop trying to swim through the rock, and swim around it.


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Anonymous #2

Re: I'm becoming increasingly socially awkward around women. [Re: vandago]
    #22397429 - 10/18/15 12:25 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

vandago said:
I have herpes, no license, and live in a squat house.....I may be handsome and have a job and am semi responsible, but I think a woman I desire for long term deserves better than I post trainwreck. 




Dude, I hate to be the one who to say this, but you sound completely irrational. You are responsible, but have no license, STDs, and your homeless. What?

And somehow I have a hard time believing a handsome man was trolling for pussy on craiglist, and has such a low self esteem they have trouble talking to woman.

Everything you say is riddled with contradictions and bizarre behavior.

But I digress, this might not be what you want to hear, but you honestly might want to forget about woman for the time being while you work on yourself. Do good stuff for yourself, whether thats finishing that degree you started, lifting weights, getting a job, getting off drugs, starting a new hobby, any and everything. Woman will gravitate towards you once you figure shit out. You will be an all around happier person. Quit stressing over it and focus on yourself.


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Re: I'm becoming increasingly socially awkward around women. [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #22398265 - 10/18/15 03:20 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

The trick is to not talk to girls as if they're goddesses who control your reproductive destiny. Talk to them like they're dudes, with some limitations of course...talk to them like they're really sensitive, effeminate dudes. You wouldn't feel intimidated talking to a gay man would you? You could care less about what guys think of you right? Pretend to care less about what women think and they'll see that you don't care, and they'll make you want to care. Women are easy as fuck.


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Offlinelowbrow
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Re: I'm becoming increasingly socially awkward around women. [Re: vandago]
    #22400798 - 10/18/15 11:46 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Just make eye contact and keep it real.  If you can't make 100% eye contact who gives a shit.  I'd suggest getting a hobby or hanging out at the local bar.

Make friends, ie.....female friends.


--------------------
Amanita86 said:
Sui is trying to mod right now.  Kinda like a newborn calf tryin ta stand fer the first time ain’t it..


Edited by lowbrow (10/18/15 11:47 PM)


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Re: I'm becoming increasingly socially awkward around women. [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #22416100 - 10/21/15 11:04 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Quote:

vandago said:
I have herpes, no license, and live in a squat house.....I may be handsome and have a job and am semi responsible, but I think a woman I desire for long term deserves better than I post trainwreck. 




Dude, I hate to be the one who to say this, but you sound completely irrational. You are responsible, but have no license, STDs, and your homeless. What?

And somehow I have a hard time believing a handsome man was trolling for pussy on craiglist, and has such a low self esteem they have trouble talking to woman.

Everything you say is riddled with contradictions and bizarre behavior.

But I digress, this might not be what you want to hear, but you honestly might want to forget about woman for the time being while you work on yourself. Do good stuff for yourself, whether thats finishing that degree you started, lifting weights, getting a job, getting off drugs, starting a new hobby, any and everything. Woman will gravitate towards you once you figure shit out. You will be an all around happier person. Quit stressing over it and focus on yourself.





Thanks anon.  Get at me when they cure that STD, and I'll just say fuck a social life for 3 years due to lack of license.  I'm not homeless either?  I'm living in a huge ass house I only pay utilities on, by choice, I have money to go rent a place but I'm riding this out until I have more of an understanding of where I am going to want to get a place.


2 jobs, house, car, dogs, food in fridge, money in wallet, living my passions to boot.  There's no ultimate goal in life, I'm happy, I am working with what I have.  I'll always have herpes.  I won't have a license til may of 2018.  I'm "homeless" to the effect I have extra money to actually do things.  I guess different strokes for different folks.  If you are/were a woman, you would be the type of woman that's helping me avoid the rest.


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Anonymous #2

Re: I'm becoming increasingly socially awkward around women. [Re: vandago]
    #22417675 - 10/22/15 11:04 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Look man, sorry if I offended you; however, I felt like this is stuff you needed to hear. Its cool if you wan't to justify and explain everything, but thats all they are- justifications. You're a walking contradiction and you sound like youre a mess right now. I know you defend your life, but it sounds like from the first post you are just going through the motions and don't really feel this way.

Good luck to you regardless, I won't say anymore because you obviously aren't receptive to constructive criticism and taking a good hard look at yourself and the way you perceive life.

Peace


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Re: I'm becoming increasingly socially awkward around women. [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #22420475 - 10/22/15 09:39 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Look man, sorry if I offended you; however, I felt like this is stuff you needed to hear. Its cool if you wan't to justify and explain everything, but thats all they are- justifications. You're a walking contradiction and you sound like youre a mess right now. I know you defend your life, but it sounds like from the first post you are just going through the motions and don't really feel this way.

Good luck to you regardless, I won't say anymore because you obviously aren't receptive to constructive criticism and taking a good hard look at yourself and the way you perceive life.

Peace





You brought up things that can't be changed though?  I deserve to be alone because I don't have a license, herpes, and don't have to pay rent?  Why is being in debt and having more bills a "mess".  Herpes isn't going anywhere, sure would love it if they would.  These are not justifications, they are things I currently have to deal with.

There's no time in my life for hobbies.....I already play drums, play bass, and I regularly do stand up comedy.  There's down time at home where I am relaxing watching a movie, or playing a video game.....on my days off I go into the woods and spend it with my dogs....it'd be nice to have someone to spend it with.

I'm not entirely sure I want to go to college.  I am also not entirely sure where I want to either sign a lease, or buy a home at.....so why would I jump the gun on those things? 


I'm really confused why I would be happy with where I am, and look for someone who has expectations of me?  I have everything I need and then some.  Just me should be enough?


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