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OfflineRoostertail

Registered: 09/27/15
Posts: 300
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
2+ years sober
    #22360858 - 10/10/15 09:25 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

My sobriety date is September 18th 2013. I choose to call myself an alcoholic.

Its been amazing journey. Got off the old roller coaster and decided to look at the other rides.

There has been some regrets in sobriety... Broken promises, dishonesty, unhealthy relationships, and crowded thoughts.

Self help and therapy have been the solution to my problems.

Meditation is an important role in my life.


I do experience anxiety when drinking coffee sometimes.


If your a newcomer, your not alone. Please feel free to post what your heart desires.


Remember, there is no finish line besides the treasure we reap in heaven.



Yours truly,


            Joel


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Invisibleonce in a lifetime
sun child
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Re: 2+ years sober [Re: Roostertail]
    #22362374 - 10/11/15 09:47 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Congratulations. :peace: :peace: :peace: :peace: :peace: :peace: :peace: :peace:

My grandfather, dad's dad and my grandmother, my mother's mom both died of alcohol, so I never messed around. . .

My dad told me the truth straight up, and that is the most important thing.

:heart:

Self-faith is the primary thing.  All the best.  Agreed with heaven - but heaven is infinite,


so I hope no human being falls into the ancient barbarism of ' one group only ' type of mentality for heaven. . .


:sun: :heart: Love.


--------------------
Innocent, Oldfield & Hegerland          Julia Delaney, Bothy Band                                        Rasta Girl, Sister Carol                    Genesis, Jorma K
I Wish You Peace, Lawrence Laughing                                                                                                                    Do Your Thing, Moondog                     
large  . . music garden . .  very
all peace                    them hi
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OfflineRoostertail

Registered: 09/27/15
Posts: 300
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
Re: 2+ years sober [Re: once in a lifetime] * 1
    #22362576 - 10/11/15 10:29 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

:customgrow420:


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Offlinem4dScientist
Music Always Helps
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Re: 2+ years sober [Re: Roostertail] * 1
    #22363613 - 10/11/15 02:36 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

hey man, glad to hear it.

I haven't had a drink in over 3 years, n although ive abused drugs in the past, the past 4 or 5 years revolved solely around alcohol. and im a DEGENERATE alcoholic. 4 dui's, 24/7 drinker, my BAC during my last arrest was .41. I don't say that to sound cool or whatever, I say that to say if I can stop drinking, anyone can.

im currently in AA myself but I have used drugs within the past 3 years, so my sponsor decided to restart my sobriety date to 4 months ago.

ive never experienced the "pink cloud". for me personally, removing alcohol n drugs from the equation is to remove the ONE thing that's ever given me some sort of peace in this life. sobriety kinda sucks, and the depression/anxiety that ive been self medicating my entire life is very much present these days, n something im struggling with.

keep up the good work rooster.


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OfflineRoostertail

Registered: 09/27/15
Posts: 300
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
Re: 2+ years sober [Re: m4dScientist] * 1
    #22363722 - 10/11/15 02:55 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

m4dScientist said:
hey man, glad to hear it.

I haven't had a drink in over 3 years, n although ive abused drugs in the past, the past 4 or 5 years revolved solely around alcohol. and im a DEGENERATE alcoholic. 4 dui's, 24/7 drinker, my BAC during my last arrest was .41. I don't say that to sound cool or whatever, I say that to say if I can stop drinking, anyone can.

im currently in AA myself but I have used drugs within the past 3 years, so my sponsor decided to restart my sobriety date to 4 months ago.

ive never experienced the "pink cloud". for me personally, removing alcohol n drugs from the equation is to remove the ONE thing that's ever given me some sort of peace in this life. sobriety kinda sucks, and the depression/anxiety that ive been self medicating my entire life is very much present these days, n something im struggling with.

keep up the good work rooster.




Glad your along for the ride. Three years is a lot of time. I go to aa sometimes twice a day.

Alcoholism ran in my family.

I tell newcomers about the bond alcohol brings on our life. More like a relationship that is abusive.

Thankfully I wasnt black and blue after this run. Just went to jail, went to a treatment 6 months, and a halfway house.

Freedom is a precious thing, not to be fooled with. It caused a bad effect on me and played a role of self discipline.

There aare many old timers'who swear by the mottos.


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Offlinem4dScientist
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Re: 2+ years sober [Re: Roostertail]
    #22365622 - 10/11/15 09:16 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

rooster, you sound pretty positive. like youre riding one of those pink clouds I mentioned earlier.

for me, I always drank because of some underlying mental issues/extreme lack of confidence. which in the end only exacerbated the mental issues. now im sober, but im prettyyyy fuckin miserable.

granted, things have improved tremendously, n I always seem to forget that. but at the end of the day, im still not happy, n that's why I think aa is only part of the puzzle.

im actually considering going back to see a psychiatrist soon. well see


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Anonymous #1

Re: 2+ years sober [Re: m4dScientist]
    #22366816 - 10/12/15 06:16 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

I'd just rather die.  I don't care anymore, whatever it takes to get off this world.  Some promise of heaven or threat of hell can go fuck it's self.


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Invisibleonce in a lifetime
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Re: 2+ years sober [Re: m4dScientist]
    #22368043 - 10/12/15 12:34 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

hi dear friends,

m4d, i hear ya bro. . . my dad shared a lot of useful info when i was growin' up.. one was - serotonin and stuff..

hard drugs - more so cocaine than alcohol, but alcohol, too, affect the way our serotonin levels function. .

and - i know this is not new or anything - am not tryin' to be stupid :smile: hehe. .


so i know ya know but - was gonna say. . . it's also very possible to get back to a happy life. .


there is no greater expert on you than you.  as well.


i keep myself at a pretty balanced level..  am happy but more simply balanced i would say...  i've been living for the benefit of others mainly, for a couple years..


and to do my best so we recover from past travesties, hehe. 


maybe a mantra would help?  tho' i studied a lot, it wasn't until i began the practice of writing healing, positives on cursive in paper. . .


i realized - so many projections floating around out there - we need an immune system.


and it works - powerfully, wonderfully. . . it builds up an immunity to random stuff, and heals and strengthens. . . greatly, and -


helps in any and every endeavor one may wish to accomplish - also very much so...


the four main ones i used were ' I am at peace. ' ' I am strong. ' ' I am healthy, ' and  ' I am happy. '


may seem funny but ya, even with an iq through the roof i did this - it helps to overcome anything  / everything.



those weren't the only ones - plenty of variations on it, etc.



and this was - as i say - after learning ( natural way, self-edifying way, best way )


and a interesting life. . to say the least! :sun:



other mantras i did too, plenty of them -- quite a while before i practiced this ( for a few weeks or months, kind of off and on... )



later on, i found concept of self-trust so very many places, Liezi, Goethe, Seng Ts'an ( song of faith / mind ) . . . actually that latter I had read earlier, it was nice to come back to.


and, naturally, Emerson ('Self-Reliance,' 'Character,')


Goethe put it well - as soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.


so - self-faith. . . opens all doors to health, strength, peace, love and healing... happiness, too..


It's in your hands, etc. ..  of course - wisdom is necessary too, otherwise we'd just look for whatever useless things. :sun: :sun: :sun: :sun: :sun: :sun:

hehe.


But ya - you got it all, etc. . .  about professionals - i am not one to talk bad about anyone. . .


but a lot of them have some funny views. . . :sun: very true.



As if a piece of paper means anything!!! it's what you do! where your heart is :sun:


that means everything - their pieces of paper do not show they know anything.



hehe, am frank and opinionated a bit, I know, but it's very true.



let us legalize sacred herb..


peace and love -

happiness to you.


--------------------
Innocent, Oldfield & Hegerland          Julia Delaney, Bothy Band                                        Rasta Girl, Sister Carol                    Genesis, Jorma K
I Wish You Peace, Lawrence Laughing                                                                                                                    Do Your Thing, Moondog                     
large  . . music garden . .  very
all peace                    them hi
Starhouse - main
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OfflineRoostertail

Registered: 09/27/15
Posts: 300
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
Re: 2+ years sober [Re: once in a lifetime]
    #22368089 - 10/12/15 12:48 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

:dafuq:


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Re: 2+ years sober [Re: Roostertail]
    #22368150 - 10/12/15 01:03 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

hehe, i know, i know.

:heart: :sun: :heart:

main thing is, each of us knows ourselves, is the best expert. . . and so forth.


:sun:

love and beauty :heart:

peace,


jake


--------------------
Innocent, Oldfield & Hegerland          Julia Delaney, Bothy Band                                        Rasta Girl, Sister Carol                    Genesis, Jorma K
I Wish You Peace, Lawrence Laughing                                                                                                                    Do Your Thing, Moondog                     
large  . . music garden . .  very
all peace                    them hi
Starhouse - main
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OfflineRoostertail

Registered: 09/27/15
Posts: 300
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Re: 2+ years sober [Re: m4dScientist]
    #22368159 - 10/12/15 01:05 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

m4dScientist said:
rooster, you sound pretty positive. like youre riding one of those pink clouds I mentioned earlier.

for me, I always drank because of some underlying mental issues/extreme lack of confidence. which in the end only exacerbated the mental issues. now im sober, but im prettyyyy fuckin miserable.

granted, things have improved tremendously, n I always seem to forget that. but at the end of the day, im still not happy, n that's why I think aa is only part of the puzzle.

im actually considering going back to see a psychiatrist soon. well see




I seek additional help besides aa. I have a psychiatrist who I see monthly who prescribes to me.

These meds help me and act like cbd.

To the anonymous person, my heart goes out to you. I find myself in snares sometimes but I seek additional help like professionals and family.

Recovery is a journey and it never stops. But relationships can so I strivee for better days to come.

Just make inch stones rather than mile stones. Thats what a wise man told me.


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Re: 2+ years sober [Re: Roostertail]
    #22368194 - 10/12/15 01:13 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Yes--- agreed so very much dear Roostertail.  Small strokes fell great oaks, to quote the Benji,

and many others by beautiful authors. . . they do not come to mind quite at the moment;

it is really possible, to move mountains so to speak.


--------------------
Innocent, Oldfield & Hegerland          Julia Delaney, Bothy Band                                        Rasta Girl, Sister Carol                    Genesis, Jorma K
I Wish You Peace, Lawrence Laughing                                                                                                                    Do Your Thing, Moondog                     
large  . . music garden . .  very
all peace                    them hi
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Offlinem4dScientist
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Re: 2+ years sober [Re: once in a lifetime]
    #22368273 - 10/12/15 01:33 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Hey once. Funny you mentioned serotonin, because ecstasy abuse is actually what caused my downward spiral with alcohol in the first place. I was taking E daily, and going days without sleeping, and taking pills for months at a time. It literally broke me. So I know I have some sort of serotonin related issues.

Rooster, good to hear you're getting some relief from your meds. My sponsor is against meds, but told me today that as a sober person I know better than anyone what sort of additional help I need. So if I think I need meds, he recommended that I try going that route. It was a relief to hear because for six months now he has been telling me to just accept where I'm at, and keep doing the right thing n eventually things will get better. But I've been depressed for so long. I don't wanna live like this anymore.

Thanks for the kind words once.


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OfflineLucisM
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Re: 2+ years sober [Re: Roostertail]
    #22368282 - 10/12/15 01:37 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Congrats Rostertail!!!

I am coming up on 3 years sober from opiates.  I never though I would make it this far because I used opiates for so long, never thought I could kick them, but here I am.

I am glad I never got into alcohol though, that must be a hard addiction to beat because it's on every corner.

Anyways, keep it up brother.


--------------------
©️


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OfflineRoostertail

Registered: 09/27/15
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Re: 2+ years sober [Re: m4dScientist]
    #22368286 - 10/12/15 01:38 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Mdma took a role in my life. I've been off of it for about 5 to 6 years. I got a massive back end from snorting theat stuff.

That really solves my puzzle kindly because I tweaked my chemistry to reenact a special mda experiendce.

I even got a odd mouth sore from that stuff being in my glands.


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OfflineRoostertail

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Re: 2+ years sober [Re: Lucis]
    #22368306 - 10/12/15 01:42 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Fennario said:
Congrats Rostertail!!!

I am coming up on 3 years sober from opiates.  I never though I would make it this far because I used opiates for so long, never thought I could kick them, but here I am.

I am glad I never got into alcohol though, that must be a hard addiction to beat because it's on every corner.

Anyways, keep it up brother.




Thanks fennario.

Ive seen wet brain several occasions.

Heroin is high in Fort lauderdale Fl. I met a friend called E. Who overdosed and is on a new footing so to speak. He refuses meetings but he agreed with me he is on a spiritual path.

He does believe in angels because his soul didnt leave his body, more like a k hole.


I sink in quick sand just to lend a helping hand to these kids. When there family turns there back there sitting homeless on the library steps begging for whatever.


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Re: 2+ years sober [Re: m4dScientist]
    #22368397 - 10/12/15 02:03 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

always friend.  friendship is the most important thing to me in the world basically, and i never take it for granted, at least to the best of my ability. 

peace and thank you for being there.  i am glad to know you, from what i know of you, it has been very good to see!

talk to you,

pleasant day to everyone :heart:


--------------------
Innocent, Oldfield & Hegerland          Julia Delaney, Bothy Band                                        Rasta Girl, Sister Carol                    Genesis, Jorma K
I Wish You Peace, Lawrence Laughing                                                                                                                    Do Your Thing, Moondog                     
large  . . music garden . .  very
all peace                    them hi
Starhouse - main
Time Traveler's Guide


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InvisibleyogabunnyM
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Re: 2+ years sober [Re: Roostertail]
    #22372209 - 10/13/15 08:47 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

I am a highly functioning alcoholic.

I drink about a bottle of red wine a day but I almost always wait until a reasonable time of day, and I hardly ever drink more than that. I don't have hangovers in the morning and I take care of business.

It does affect my sleep, and I feel like I would be overall healthier and more authentic in my profession if I could quit; I'm a yoga teacher and health/wellness business owner.

In the process of trying to get sober I am learning a lot about myself, but I am really sick of the start-stop, and most of all feeling like a failure every time I relapse.

I was thinking of checking out an AA meeting in my town, but then a girl I know who was in meetings for years in my town told me the AA scene here is toxic, so I'd have to drive 100 miles round trip to go to a meeting in the closest city.

*sigh*

I haven't had a drink in 2 days.


--------------------


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OfflineRoostertail

Registered: 09/27/15
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Re: 2+ years sober [Re: yogabunny]
    #22372308 - 10/13/15 09:19 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Good job on two days.

I knew a lady who drank a bottle a wine a night and she functioned pretty well.

I was never a wine drinker but I understand it goes well with food.

I havent been in a town where AA wasnt good.

Glad to hear your straightening your life out.


One Day at a Time.


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Offlinem4dScientist
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Re: 2+ years sober [Re: yogabunny]
    #22372502 - 10/13/15 10:07 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Bunny, how are you??

In my experience, everyone has their own opinion of AA. I wouldn't take someone's word for it that the meetings are toxic. You should give it a chance. What's the worst that could happen right?

In my experience, AA has helped me immensely, even though I don't get down with all of their beliefs. As a degenerate alcoholic, I can tell you that it only gets worse. I was highly functional for a period of time, n at the end I was at the liquor store 8 am every morning, chugging vodka straight from the bottle as soon as I got in my car. I was isolated and terrified of everything. You're fortunate that you recognize that you have a problem this early on.

Give it a chance bunny.


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Re: 2+ years sober [Re: m4dScientist]
    #22372926 - 10/13/15 11:39 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

My one critique of AA is this:  it's possible to transform oneself, to be anything one wishes: this is largely dependent on how we define ourselves. .

William James, for instance, in the 4th chapter of Varieties, on Healthy-Mindedness, expresses it fairly simply.. You are healed, if you would but believe it.


Now it's all good -- I do consider them better than a lot - I guess part of my thing is. . it's not the same for everyone.  Every person is unique, and so we each have a unique relationship with the universe in general.  I often share with people the idea - don't follow others; over my lifetime I've understood this more and more. . . Conformism leads away from the spirit, almost it seems. 

We are very social creatures. ..  I keep meaning to post ' ten hugs a day ' if i haven't already :sun:

Actually that chapter, of James' work, is very nice. . . the only one really it's necessary to read, in my opinion -  goes nicely with Maslow's Farther Reaches of Human Nature - which is not, very much about the 'hierarchy of needs' which he is mostly famous for, but it covers a lot of lovely topics.  Haven't read it in 12 years, but it was one of the most incredible books. . . Extensive reading isn't necessary :smile: only a few of the best. . :smile:

I mean - it's very good, for what it is. . . and helps people for sure.  There's an interesting thing, however, the power of the mind.  What we believe has a good tendency to become true -- palpable effects in real life..  As I've learned, all healing powers are within every person -- and self-faith is the key which unlocks them, pretty much.  Self-faith opens every door -- wisdom is knowing which ones to open. 

So - all healing power is within; and how do we attain self-faith?  It's an interesting thing, but set the goal; and it will be achieved.  Generating the energy of love, of mindfulness, takes practice. . . the second part of that quote about love was - love is a practice. 

Being in nature - I've found - is the most healing thing. . . Nothing is more conducive to health, peacefulness, happiness, beauty and love, than being out where the soul is free - where the air is fresh, the breeze is pleasant, the sun is warm upon the face..  This comes from someone who grew up near the forests, and spent plenty of time climbing trees and exploring, also i learned to be strong from my older brother, who was more a little bit more wild. . . :-)

How the process of self-faith, self-acceptance or love and healing works, as I have discovered, is - you are basically sending your energy down specific channels, healing and strengthening ones -- this helps to unify one's energy, so that there is no disparate drives or divisions.. Once one's energy is unified, then so much more can get accomplished -- anything, really.

One of my teachers shared a beautiful quote: Motivational speakers, those who say you can do anything, etc., etc., -- and live by it -- well. . . they are half right -- you can do anything - but what should you be doing?  In other words - knowing one can do anything..  that's not good or bad in itself - doing good for the world, etc. or whatever each person's Ideal is - well, anyway. :smile:  I guess I've come full circle around because I've realized that happiness is the main thing.

To share happiness with people is pretty much my main goal or desire -- there is so much benefit that comes from it -- health, peace... wonder...  My fav. Stevenson quote - ' There is no duty we underrate so much as the duty of being happy ' ... and as I went further through exploring the beautiful lights of humanity's brilliance, I came upon this type of this more and more: -

' When you are happy, when you smile, when you are peaceful - then everyone, not only friends and family, but the whole world profits - this is the basis of peace work ' - thay ( slightly paraphrased )

and Ramana: ' When the whole world can be happy together, then all of humanity will shine as one house. '  and.. as he mentioned, when we are happy together ( as brothers, he said, but brothers and sisters I'd say ),

etc. - same thing.

So the practice I developed is like that -- it seems simplistic, and it is -- but it's actually very effective...  It's not simple from a lack of an ability to comprehend the complex, it's actually the summing up of many different cultures, practices, and so forth.

So the practice of self-faith, love and healing - which leads to perfect health, happiness and peace -- which is our natural state, which requires nothing external -- why it works is kind of like this --

Sending energy down specific healing channels -- ' I am healthy, ' ' I am happy, ' ' I am at peace, ' ' I am strong, ' -- were four of mine, although I used others and variations, including ' I am loved, ' or even ' I am love, ' -- in cursive on paper...

How does this help or make it real?  Very simply -- it unlocks the healing power we have within us.  Also these types of practice -- are very strengthening to the immune system; for example, there are so many projections floating around out there -- from TV, or wherever -- and most of them have little to do with our inner-most self, who we truly are. 

So a strengthened immune system is a little necessary.  Words and memes affect us - words and thoughts have power -- more than actions generally - especially in the prevention or creation of wars, etc.

Anyway - of course, letting go of words and stories is very nice, too. . . that's, really entering the sacred. . . my practice has basically been to - a) tell only what is true and good, and then b) learn deeply settled levels of peace and then share them with the world, as --

in every culture on the globe, one of the most hallowed set of instructions may almost always be found as their greatest wisdom -- Seek peace, and share it.  As well as - within everyone is boundless peace, which it is very possible to attain in this life.  In fact - as most have it - we ought to attain it in this life -- etc. 

' Trust yourself, and you will know how to live. ' - Goethe; same can be seen by each one of humanity's loveliest...

Way i could express it is - once you trust yourself, everything falls into place.  You've attained the highest, basically ---

Seng Ts'an, third Zen patriarch, in the poem ' Song of Faith Mind ' wrote (tr. B. Watson)

' When trust and the mind are not two,
Not two, trust and mind,
Then all words break off -
No coming, no going, no now. '

So - there's again the mention of leaving words and the rest. 


Talkin' about memes - early on in life I learned and reached perfect health. . . I noticed later that peoples' beliefs about their health, often had more impact than almost anything else.


We are evolved from billions of years... hehe, I almost wrote billions and billions, a funny phrase misattributed to Sagan. .. which he clarifies and jokingly references in his work, 'Billions and Billions'  --- we are evolved from billions for years and - we have all the DNA of the previous lives we've went through -- the way -- one way DNA works is simply adding on to the code. . . writing a little bit more. . . In Sagan's book, Shadows of Forgotten Ancestors 

( who needs more than a few books?  read slowly and remember eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeverything )


:sun: :sun: :sun: :sun: :sun: :sun: :sun: :sun: :sun: :sun: :sun: :sun: :sun: :sun: :sun: :sun: :sun: :sun: :sun: :sun: :sun: :sun: :sun: :sun:

also since birth I knew - every human has perfect memory, if they but knew how -- also I knew, from about infancy, that all is light - and the reason this is important. . .

it means that no one ever gets injure - not in reality. . . how may one ever damage a photon?

. . . :smile: one can't.  Light cannot be harmed - and we are light; just an interesting thing how the universe works.


Anywho --- back to time and space and what not. . . Anything can heal.  Anyone and anything - this is the significant thing. . . Healing power is so great - that, even if life was not what we wished -- with self-faith, love, peace, determination - etc., one may heal. . . even from things that no one else on the world would ever believe one could heal from. . .

Yet I know, and I believe.  :smile:

So this was lovely. . . when my dad shared all about it, so I Knew just a bit, and built upon it. . .

How much happiness we have is up to us. . . it is very possible to be happy again.  Brain chemistry is ours to create ( Our own brain chemistry that is )

We create our lives - to understand this.. is beautiful and freedom.  We are free -- this is beautiful and freedom....  How to attain freedom - and peace, this is the best goal, for certain.

Going outside - looking at the sun. . . or the trees on the distant horizon - these are healing -- sunlight brings beauty and light into our lives. . .


I used to say, "Simply choose renewal" and wrote a bit about it...  The point is - everything good; that is good.

Don't underestimate good - as the Dhammapada says, like a drop of water, each drop fills the up bucket -- similarly, the virtuous man, bit by bit, fills himself with more good.


We create our lives, and we have the power to be as we wish - this is beauty and freedom in life, I have found. . .


One last tidbit from Ramana:  There is no impediment to meditation - the thought that there is an impediment - that is the only impediment.


Peace and love.
:peace:


--------------------
Innocent, Oldfield & Hegerland          Julia Delaney, Bothy Band                                        Rasta Girl, Sister Carol                    Genesis, Jorma K
I Wish You Peace, Lawrence Laughing                                                                                                                    Do Your Thing, Moondog                     
large  . . music garden . .  very
all peace                    them hi
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OfflineRoostertail

Registered: 09/27/15
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Re: 2+ years sober [Re: once in a lifetime]
    #22373023 - 10/13/15 12:01 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

:thumbinator:

You elaborated a lot. You must have a healthy appetite for love. Books I have read dont stick. Music engages me more or less.


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InvisibleyogabunnyM
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Re: 2+ years sober [Re: Roostertail]
    #22373489 - 10/13/15 01:48 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Roostertail said:
Good job on two days.

I knew a lady who drank a bottle a wine a night and she functioned pretty well.

I was never a wine drinker but I understand it goes well with food.

I havent been in a town where AA wasnt good.

Glad to hear your straightening your life out.


One Day at a Time.





Thank you. :hug:

Quote:

Bunny, how are you??

In my experience, everyone has their own opinion of AA. I wouldn't take someone's word for it that the meetings are toxic. You should give it a chance. What's the worst that could happen right?

In my experience, AA has helped me immensely, even though I don't get down with all of their beliefs. As a degenerate alcoholic, I can tell you that it only gets worse. I was highly functional for a period of time, n at the end I was at the liquor store 8 am every morning, chugging vodka straight from the bottle as soon as I got in my car. I was isolated and terrified of everything. You're fortunate that you recognize that you have a problem this early on.

Give it a chance bunny.




You have a point. One reason I am nervous is because I fully do not plan on giving up other drugs. I would be going strictly for alcohol because that's what I have a problem with. I don't want to get into a situation where I have a sponsor and what not and I end up having to lie to them, and from what I understand it's like an all or nothing thing with AA - if you do any drugs then you're not considered sober.

I'm really close to the point of just going to check out a meeting here though. Maybe I'll go this week. There's one Saturday at 10am that I could go to.

@once in a lifetime - I am not 100% certain I understand your post. It sounds like you are trying to say that we all have the power to heal ourselves, so why bother with something like AA?


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Offlinem4dScientist
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Re: 2+ years sober [Re: yogabunny]
    #22373576 - 10/13/15 02:05 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Hey bunny.

You're right. I haven't had a drink in over 3 years but I had to restart my sobriety date because I used opiates and mushrooms a lot during the last year. So according to the rooms of AA, I'm only clean 4 months.

My sponsor is a Buddhist, n what he always tells me is I go to AA to keep sober and my well being outside of that is based upon my spiritual practice. N you have your practice and yoga to keep you grounded. You can just use aa as a means to stay sober (going to meetings and talking about your drinking/hearing others experiences, etc) and not worry about getting a sponsor if you wanna continue to use drugs.

Alcohol is the devil man. everyone is different, but for me, drugs fucked my life up. But nothing brought upon the insanity that alcohol did. try out a meeting. Let me know how it goes


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Invisibleonce in a lifetime
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Re: 2+ years sober [Re: Roostertail]
    #22373584 - 10/13/15 02:07 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

thank you dear friend :sun:

i just now came across this :smile:

'Studying texts and stiff meditation can make you lose your Original Mind.
A solitary tune by a fisherman, though, can be an invaluable treasure.'

-Ikkyu

earlier i thought of you while i was listening to Mountain Rain. .. thought you might like it. .


it's not easy for me to describe the bliss his music and voice gives to me. ..  today for the first time i understood all the words. :sun: :smile:

Tho' i'd heard it dozens of times. . . he and Jansch often gave me waves of bliss. .. 'High Emotion'

also the quote i forgot to share, by james, was 'God is well, and so are you.' :smile: summing it up more simply.

ya what you mention is true for me too -- a while back i began to learn how some types of songs really open the consciousness -- to understand love and bliss from the music --


'cause we are lovely, and our happiness is lovely, too.  Kind of like that. :sun:


Yoga, am about to reply.


--------------------
Innocent, Oldfield & Hegerland          Julia Delaney, Bothy Band                                        Rasta Girl, Sister Carol                    Genesis, Jorma K
I Wish You Peace, Lawrence Laughing                                                                                                                    Do Your Thing, Moondog                     
large  . . music garden . .  very
all peace                    them hi
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Re: 2+ years sober [Re: yogabunny]
    #22373737 - 10/13/15 02:33 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Hey-a.

What I mean primarily is that self-faith is everything... in life, it's not quite everything; ability is not as important as wisdom; but when you have a specific goal, faith in your eventual success is higher than pretty much all other factors, in determining if you succeed.

Every good thing is good - i also recommend eating lots of bananans, .. drinking plenty of water -- especially to start out the day. ..

in fact that last one is almost a super-secret. . . one that i share freely of course because i wish good for everyone..  yet - it's alone responsible for ..  pretty much a vast amount of health..


As I was growing up and learned the importance of drinking water - I came to understand, almost nothing else was even necessary at all -- than simply drinking enough water, and again, especially right in the morning. . .


Later on i learned that self-faith ( in one's health ) was even more basic, and of the essence.


so - everything that is healthful and good for you -- adding these onto each other -- this is very good .. 

so - all of those things. . . music can be so very much beneficial;


I was going to ask - do you sing?  I love to sing, primarily to the nature. . . My favorite are any Celtic songs, anything that's beautiful and sonorous, melodic and blissful;


Melody and song can lift up the spirit so much -- and, chanting mantras can be useful - you kind of send your energy down a healing channel once again --- at least, that's the simplest I could say of mantras...

and all of this -- am sure you know much more than me on a few of these... :sun:
Simply these are the pathways my mind goes when turning to thoughts of healing from addiction.


Ah - plenty of hugs, physical contact, this sort of thing -- all of these increase serotonin as well.


As i understand it; there are a few specific times, when the burden lifts a little more, and it becomes significantly easier -- 7 days, for one, a couple or 3 weeks;

just a thought -


Am definitely not saying, not to go to AA;  I do believe it can be very good, and support - friends, hugs ---  this type of thing. . . sharing stories --  very useful and good.  As I say - any good thing..


My issues i primarily the phrasing and so forth.  Memes such as ' I am powerless ' to me, are the opposite of everything good --

As self-faith is the primary aspect of healing - so when we are wishing to heal -- focusing on the thought

'I am healed' -- is tremendously, beyond tremendously, strengthening, helpful, and healing. 

For instance - anytime there is any need of healing --- to leave the wound alone, it heals; and every thought of 'I am healed' adds healing energy as well. 


What I mean is there's vast -- almost infinite love, healing -- within ourselves -- and to walk through nature, or something like this --


Not seeking anything different, simply allowing the body's natural healing power to overcome and heal -- that's very beautiful.


As I've known faith in oneself is such a powerful key, the fore-most - in health, that's why I mention this, as my one critique of the group.


It's basically -  Self-faith and self-trust guide one. . . more true than any guide ; One's heart is always the best one to listen to,


for instance - if one places one's trust in another person, first one has to trust oneself as to who to choose etc. . . .

Thay writes about a lot of this rather beautifully as well :sun:



So, in conjunction with that self-faith and trust aspect -- is the aspect of knowing where to turn for uplifting -- healing -- rejuvenation -- enrichment, and so forth. . .


For me, my h'art has called me to the most incredible. . . Simply unbelievably beautiful ones - and a couple are in plain sight yet known :sun:


others are more well known and respected;  and, the valuable ones, often seem to say the same thing  -- like McKenna for instance,


' No one is smarter than you -- And if they are, what of it?  What good is their understanding doing you? '

Watts said similar; of course Seng Ts'an as i mentioned. . Schopenhauer wrote it more emphatically even. . . :-)

hehe


Rumi, etc. ..


All the strength in the universe is within you, basically, you have all you need, and you will succeed.


That's the main essence of what I mean to say. :sun:


--------------------
Innocent, Oldfield & Hegerland          Julia Delaney, Bothy Band                                        Rasta Girl, Sister Carol                    Genesis, Jorma K
I Wish You Peace, Lawrence Laughing                                                                                                                    Do Your Thing, Moondog                     
large  . . music garden . .  very
all peace                    them hi
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Re: 2+ years sober [Re: once in a lifetime]
    #22373776 - 10/13/15 02:40 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Yet I also wished to say, being part of such a group - shining light and love by way of smiles, hugs, and other stuff - that is, the essence of it, is in all likelihood a quite wonderful thing --

I can see it. .. from here. .. they are good people.  i'm reminded of thay's writing very much -- well, i just read it, hehehe :sun:  we don't need a perfect sangha--- but he talks about stability and that kind of thing. . when someone is stable, when a friend is stable, then we can take refuge in them.  Yet we don't do it by blind faith, but by insight and experience, we see who is -- or, what kind of sangha is stable, to take refuge in.

etc.

wishing you so much joy and peace :hug:

and am pretty much, completely assured of your success. :sun: :peace: :earth: :sun:


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Re: 2+ years sober [Re: once in a lifetime]
    #22373986 - 10/13/15 03:32 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

I feel you. I have do have a pretty strong daily spiritual practice as well as regular ritual-style work with , but I think sometimes all the meditation and yoga and singing in the world is just not enough to overcome an addiction. Ultimately it will be I who heals and overcomes, but I am not above admitting I need help to get there.


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Re: 2+ years sober [Re: yogabunny]
    #22374012 - 10/13/15 03:39 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Absolutely.


--------------------
Innocent, Oldfield & Hegerland          Julia Delaney, Bothy Band                                        Rasta Girl, Sister Carol                    Genesis, Jorma K
I Wish You Peace, Lawrence Laughing                                                                                                                    Do Your Thing, Moondog                     
large  . . music garden . .  very
all peace                    them hi
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