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Roostertail

Registered: 09/27/15
Posts: 300
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
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2+ years sober
#22360858 - 10/10/15 09:25 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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My sobriety date is September 18th 2013. I choose to call myself an alcoholic.
Its been amazing journey. Got off the old roller coaster and decided to look at the other rides.
There has been some regrets in sobriety... Broken promises, dishonesty, unhealthy relationships, and crowded thoughts.
Self help and therapy have been the solution to my problems.
Meditation is an important role in my life.
I do experience anxiety when drinking coffee sometimes.
If your a newcomer, your not alone. Please feel free to post what your heart desires.
Remember, there is no finish line besides the treasure we reap in heaven.
Yours truly,
Joel
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once in a lifetime
sun child



Registered: 02/12/15
Posts: 1,807
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Congratulations.
My grandfather, dad's dad and my grandmother, my mother's mom both died of alcohol, so I never messed around. . .
My dad told me the truth straight up, and that is the most important thing.

Self-faith is the primary thing. All the best. Agreed with heaven - but heaven is infinite,
so I hope no human being falls into the ancient barbarism of ' one group only ' type of mentality for heaven. . .
Love.
-------------------- Innocent, Oldfield & Hegerland Julia Delaney, Bothy Band Rasta Girl, Sister Carol Genesis, Jorma K I Wish You Peace, Lawrence Laughing Do Your Thing, Moondog large . . music garden . . veryall peace them hiStarhouse - main Time Traveler's Guide
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Roostertail

Registered: 09/27/15
Posts: 300
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
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m4dScientist
Music Always Helps


Registered: 08/04/14
Posts: 1,616
Last seen: 10 months, 25 days
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hey man, glad to hear it.
I haven't had a drink in over 3 years, n although ive abused drugs in the past, the past 4 or 5 years revolved solely around alcohol. and im a DEGENERATE alcoholic. 4 dui's, 24/7 drinker, my BAC during my last arrest was .41. I don't say that to sound cool or whatever, I say that to say if I can stop drinking, anyone can.
im currently in AA myself but I have used drugs within the past 3 years, so my sponsor decided to restart my sobriety date to 4 months ago.
ive never experienced the "pink cloud". for me personally, removing alcohol n drugs from the equation is to remove the ONE thing that's ever given me some sort of peace in this life. sobriety kinda sucks, and the depression/anxiety that ive been self medicating my entire life is very much present these days, n something im struggling with.
keep up the good work rooster.
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Roostertail

Registered: 09/27/15
Posts: 300
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
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Quote:
m4dScientist said: hey man, glad to hear it.
I haven't had a drink in over 3 years, n although ive abused drugs in the past, the past 4 or 5 years revolved solely around alcohol. and im a DEGENERATE alcoholic. 4 dui's, 24/7 drinker, my BAC during my last arrest was .41. I don't say that to sound cool or whatever, I say that to say if I can stop drinking, anyone can.
im currently in AA myself but I have used drugs within the past 3 years, so my sponsor decided to restart my sobriety date to 4 months ago.
ive never experienced the "pink cloud". for me personally, removing alcohol n drugs from the equation is to remove the ONE thing that's ever given me some sort of peace in this life. sobriety kinda sucks, and the depression/anxiety that ive been self medicating my entire life is very much present these days, n something im struggling with.
keep up the good work rooster.
Glad your along for the ride. Three years is a lot of time. I go to aa sometimes twice a day.
Alcoholism ran in my family.
I tell newcomers about the bond alcohol brings on our life. More like a relationship that is abusive.
Thankfully I wasnt black and blue after this run. Just went to jail, went to a treatment 6 months, and a halfway house.
Freedom is a precious thing, not to be fooled with. It caused a bad effect on me and played a role of self discipline.
There aare many old timers'who swear by the mottos.
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m4dScientist
Music Always Helps


Registered: 08/04/14
Posts: 1,616
Last seen: 10 months, 25 days
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rooster, you sound pretty positive. like youre riding one of those pink clouds I mentioned earlier.
for me, I always drank because of some underlying mental issues/extreme lack of confidence. which in the end only exacerbated the mental issues. now im sober, but im prettyyyy fuckin miserable.
granted, things have improved tremendously, n I always seem to forget that. but at the end of the day, im still not happy, n that's why I think aa is only part of the puzzle.
im actually considering going back to see a psychiatrist soon. well see
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Anonymous #1
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I'd just rather die. I don't care anymore, whatever it takes to get off this world. Some promise of heaven or threat of hell can go fuck it's self.
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once in a lifetime
sun child



Registered: 02/12/15
Posts: 1,807
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hi dear friends,
m4d, i hear ya bro. . . my dad shared a lot of useful info when i was growin' up.. one was - serotonin and stuff..
hard drugs - more so cocaine than alcohol, but alcohol, too, affect the way our serotonin levels function. .
and - i know this is not new or anything - am not tryin' to be stupid hehe. .
so i know ya know but - was gonna say. . . it's also very possible to get back to a happy life. .
there is no greater expert on you than you. as well.
i keep myself at a pretty balanced level.. am happy but more simply balanced i would say... i've been living for the benefit of others mainly, for a couple years..
and to do my best so we recover from past travesties, hehe.
maybe a mantra would help? tho' i studied a lot, it wasn't until i began the practice of writing healing, positives on cursive in paper. . .
i realized - so many projections floating around out there - we need an immune system.
and it works - powerfully, wonderfully. . . it builds up an immunity to random stuff, and heals and strengthens. . . greatly, and -
helps in any and every endeavor one may wish to accomplish - also very much so...
the four main ones i used were ' I am at peace. ' ' I am strong. ' ' I am healthy, ' and ' I am happy. '
may seem funny but ya, even with an iq through the roof i did this - it helps to overcome anything / everything.
those weren't the only ones - plenty of variations on it, etc.
and this was - as i say - after learning ( natural way, self-edifying way, best way )
and a interesting life. . to say the least! 
other mantras i did too, plenty of them -- quite a while before i practiced this ( for a few weeks or months, kind of off and on... )
later on, i found concept of self-trust so very many places, Liezi, Goethe, Seng Ts'an ( song of faith / mind ) . . . actually that latter I had read earlier, it was nice to come back to.
and, naturally, Emerson ('Self-Reliance,' 'Character,')
Goethe put it well - as soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.
so - self-faith. . . opens all doors to health, strength, peace, love and healing... happiness, too..
It's in your hands, etc. .. of course - wisdom is necessary too, otherwise we'd just look for whatever useless things.
hehe.
But ya - you got it all, etc. . . about professionals - i am not one to talk bad about anyone. . .
but a lot of them have some funny views. . . very true.
As if a piece of paper means anything!!! it's what you do! where your heart is 
that means everything - their pieces of paper do not show they know anything.
hehe, am frank and opinionated a bit, I know, but it's very true.
let us legalize sacred herb..
peace and love -
happiness to you.
-------------------- Innocent, Oldfield & Hegerland Julia Delaney, Bothy Band Rasta Girl, Sister Carol Genesis, Jorma K I Wish You Peace, Lawrence Laughing Do Your Thing, Moondog large . . music garden . . veryall peace them hiStarhouse - main Time Traveler's Guide
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Roostertail

Registered: 09/27/15
Posts: 300
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
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once in a lifetime
sun child



Registered: 02/12/15
Posts: 1,807
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hehe, i know, i know.

main thing is, each of us knows ourselves, is the best expert. . . and so forth.

love and beauty 
peace,
jake
-------------------- Innocent, Oldfield & Hegerland Julia Delaney, Bothy Band Rasta Girl, Sister Carol Genesis, Jorma K I Wish You Peace, Lawrence Laughing Do Your Thing, Moondog large . . music garden . . veryall peace them hiStarhouse - main Time Traveler's Guide
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Roostertail

Registered: 09/27/15
Posts: 300
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
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Quote:
m4dScientist said: rooster, you sound pretty positive. like youre riding one of those pink clouds I mentioned earlier.
for me, I always drank because of some underlying mental issues/extreme lack of confidence. which in the end only exacerbated the mental issues. now im sober, but im prettyyyy fuckin miserable.
granted, things have improved tremendously, n I always seem to forget that. but at the end of the day, im still not happy, n that's why I think aa is only part of the puzzle.
im actually considering going back to see a psychiatrist soon. well see
I seek additional help besides aa. I have a psychiatrist who I see monthly who prescribes to me.
These meds help me and act like cbd.
To the anonymous person, my heart goes out to you. I find myself in snares sometimes but I seek additional help like professionals and family.
Recovery is a journey and it never stops. But relationships can so I strivee for better days to come.
Just make inch stones rather than mile stones. Thats what a wise man told me.
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once in a lifetime
sun child



Registered: 02/12/15
Posts: 1,807
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Yes--- agreed so very much dear Roostertail. Small strokes fell great oaks, to quote the Benji,
and many others by beautiful authors. . . they do not come to mind quite at the moment;
it is really possible, to move mountains so to speak.
-------------------- Innocent, Oldfield & Hegerland Julia Delaney, Bothy Band Rasta Girl, Sister Carol Genesis, Jorma K I Wish You Peace, Lawrence Laughing Do Your Thing, Moondog large . . music garden . . veryall peace them hiStarhouse - main Time Traveler's Guide
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m4dScientist
Music Always Helps


Registered: 08/04/14
Posts: 1,616
Last seen: 10 months, 25 days
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Hey once. Funny you mentioned serotonin, because ecstasy abuse is actually what caused my downward spiral with alcohol in the first place. I was taking E daily, and going days without sleeping, and taking pills for months at a time. It literally broke me. So I know I have some sort of serotonin related issues.
Rooster, good to hear you're getting some relief from your meds. My sponsor is against meds, but told me today that as a sober person I know better than anyone what sort of additional help I need. So if I think I need meds, he recommended that I try going that route. It was a relief to hear because for six months now he has been telling me to just accept where I'm at, and keep doing the right thing n eventually things will get better. But I've been depressed for so long. I don't wanna live like this anymore.
Thanks for the kind words once.
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Lucis
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
Last seen: 1 month, 29 days
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Congrats Rostertail!!!
I am coming up on 3 years sober from opiates. I never though I would make it this far because I used opiates for so long, never thought I could kick them, but here I am.
I am glad I never got into alcohol though, that must be a hard addiction to beat because it's on every corner.
Anyways, keep it up brother.
-------------------- ©️
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Roostertail

Registered: 09/27/15
Posts: 300
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
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Mdma took a role in my life. I've been off of it for about 5 to 6 years. I got a massive back end from snorting theat stuff.
That really solves my puzzle kindly because I tweaked my chemistry to reenact a special mda experiendce.
I even got a odd mouth sore from that stuff being in my glands.
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Roostertail

Registered: 09/27/15
Posts: 300
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
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Re: 2+ years sober [Re: Lucis]
#22368306 - 10/12/15 01:42 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Fennario said: Congrats Rostertail!!!
I am coming up on 3 years sober from opiates. I never though I would make it this far because I used opiates for so long, never thought I could kick them, but here I am.
I am glad I never got into alcohol though, that must be a hard addiction to beat because it's on every corner.
Anyways, keep it up brother.
Thanks fennario.
Ive seen wet brain several occasions.
Heroin is high in Fort lauderdale Fl. I met a friend called E. Who overdosed and is on a new footing so to speak. He refuses meetings but he agreed with me he is on a spiritual path.
He does believe in angels because his soul didnt leave his body, more like a k hole.
I sink in quick sand just to lend a helping hand to these kids. When there family turns there back there sitting homeless on the library steps begging for whatever.
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once in a lifetime
sun child



Registered: 02/12/15
Posts: 1,807
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always friend. friendship is the most important thing to me in the world basically, and i never take it for granted, at least to the best of my ability.
peace and thank you for being there. i am glad to know you, from what i know of you, it has been very good to see!
talk to you,
pleasant day to everyone
-------------------- Innocent, Oldfield & Hegerland Julia Delaney, Bothy Band Rasta Girl, Sister Carol Genesis, Jorma K I Wish You Peace, Lawrence Laughing Do Your Thing, Moondog large . . music garden . . veryall peace them hiStarhouse - main Time Traveler's Guide
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yogabunny
fancy cat



Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 11,281
Loc: Nasty Women Get Shit Done
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I am a highly functioning alcoholic.
I drink about a bottle of red wine a day but I almost always wait until a reasonable time of day, and I hardly ever drink more than that. I don't have hangovers in the morning and I take care of business.
It does affect my sleep, and I feel like I would be overall healthier and more authentic in my profession if I could quit; I'm a yoga teacher and health/wellness business owner.
In the process of trying to get sober I am learning a lot about myself, but I am really sick of the start-stop, and most of all feeling like a failure every time I relapse.
I was thinking of checking out an AA meeting in my town, but then a girl I know who was in meetings for years in my town told me the AA scene here is toxic, so I'd have to drive 100 miles round trip to go to a meeting in the closest city.
*sigh*
I haven't had a drink in 2 days.
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Roostertail

Registered: 09/27/15
Posts: 300
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
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Good job on two days.
I knew a lady who drank a bottle a wine a night and she functioned pretty well.
I was never a wine drinker but I understand it goes well with food.
I havent been in a town where AA wasnt good.
Glad to hear your straightening your life out.
One Day at a Time.
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m4dScientist
Music Always Helps


Registered: 08/04/14
Posts: 1,616
Last seen: 10 months, 25 days
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Bunny, how are you??
In my experience, everyone has their own opinion of AA. I wouldn't take someone's word for it that the meetings are toxic. You should give it a chance. What's the worst that could happen right?
In my experience, AA has helped me immensely, even though I don't get down with all of their beliefs. As a degenerate alcoholic, I can tell you that it only gets worse. I was highly functional for a period of time, n at the end I was at the liquor store 8 am every morning, chugging vodka straight from the bottle as soon as I got in my car. I was isolated and terrified of everything. You're fortunate that you recognize that you have a problem this early on.
Give it a chance bunny.
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