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LittleDaddy



Registered: 11/20/13
Posts: 1,072
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
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friendships without alcohol
#22358673 - 10/10/15 11:16 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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I had a troublesome childhood due to my parents' alcohol problems and I consequently put really bad connotations on alcohol.
I recently broke off something with a girl I was seeing because of how much she drank, and I'm feeling more and more like it's a necessary social thing, whether it be with my coworkers or with women. I have a solid group of friends who don't do it too often, but I'm contemplating removing it all together from my life. I can't seem to enjoy it without being disappointed about acting like my parents, and I think I'm justified feeling that way, I just feel like I'm removing myself from a lot of social opportunity.
Anyone have similar thoughts, experience, or advice?
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The hotter the battle, the sweeter Jah victory. Put the heathen's back upon the wall.
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Psilosopherr
A psilly goose



Registered: 02/15/12
Posts: 12,278
Last seen: 1 month, 10 days
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Re: friendships without alcohol [Re: LittleDaddy]
#22358710 - 10/10/15 11:23 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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I'm the same way with alcohol for the same reasons. I still enjoy really low doses of it once in a while though. Nothing wrong with a little social lubrication without actually getting fucked up.
Cutting it out of your life entirely sounds excessive. Its something you can't really escape in this era/area. Sounds like you hate it more than I do, but I'd think if you just avoid the actual drunks whats the issue?
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LittleDaddy



Registered: 11/20/13
Posts: 1,072
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
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Yeah, homie, i guess we don't see it the way the rest of people do.
I can enjoy a couple beers - I think you're right that cutting it out is excessive, I just don't like how so many social situations revolve around it. it's just like a regular thing, and I want alternative things to do than drink and hangout every Friday and Saturday night, you know?
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The hotter the battle, the sweeter Jah victory. Put the heathen's back upon the wall.
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Psilosopherr
A psilly goose



Registered: 02/15/12
Posts: 12,278
Last seen: 1 month, 10 days
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Re: friendships without alcohol [Re: LittleDaddy]
#22358774 - 10/10/15 11:35 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
LittleDaddy said: Yeah, homie, i guess we don't see it the way the rest of people do.
I can enjoy a couple beers - I think you're right that cutting it out is excessive, I just don't like how so many social situations revolve around it. it's just like a regular thing, and I want alternative things to do than drink and hangout every Friday and Saturday night, you know?
right. Depends on what you do socially I guess. I mostly play dungeons and dragons with amigos.
sounds like maybe you need some new activities. Maybe something physical. I'm tempted to suggest boffer because its super fun but it is quite nerdy 
If you make some friends that are the outdoorsy type I'd think they'd be less likely to be drinkers too.
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LittleDaddy



Registered: 11/20/13
Posts: 1,072
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
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yeah, got a lot of valid things to say. dope you have that hobby, but what's boffer? lol
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The hotter the battle, the sweeter Jah victory. Put the heathen's back upon the wall.
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Psilosopherr
A psilly goose



Registered: 02/15/12
Posts: 12,278
Last seen: 1 month, 10 days
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Re: friendships without alcohol [Re: LittleDaddy]
#22358858 - 10/10/15 11:55 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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very mentally and socially engaging D&D is. Its downright challenging to truly play well, but the journey is plenty fun. many laughs
Boffer is melee combat with very soft weapons. There's a group near me that meets every weekend for large scale battles, capture the flag and the like. Excellent exercise and a usable skill. Not many people in this day and age know how to use melee weapons well.
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DrFrankenstein
Stranger
Registered: 09/27/15
Posts: 10
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
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Alcohol is a huge part of our lifestyle and its hard to avoid it. Partying is mainstream and everyone in the majority participates. Rates of alcoholism and drug usage are increasing, primarily because of the lack of healthy coping mechanisms and the increased rate of decreased self-esteem. Its hard for those our age to find purpose with an invisible pressure behind their shoulder, so alcohol becomes an emotional crutch. There are some good aspects or associations with alcohol; euphoria, celebrations, relaxation, increased confidence, reduced anxiety. HOWEVER one can achieve these without drinking to excess or even drinking at all.
Next time you're around someone whose drinking is a problem (in your eyes), ask them why they drink. I'm sure its similar to what I've stated. Ask them to explain if other activities besides drinking provide them with similar feelings alcohol gives them.
Then ask them if the cons of drinking: nausea, hangovers, feeling lethargic/tired, memory loss, fatigue, making a fool of yourself, fighting, arguing, using money recklessly, etc. are worth drinking to excess and not being in control of yourself.
Hopefully you find some answers by asking more questions =)
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Roostertail

Registered: 09/27/15
Posts: 300
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
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Drinking was but only a symptom.
Remember that sober activities bear witness to honest joy and a fulfilling life when many seeds will be thrown but just one might start.
Alcohol is a spirit. It might be a thief but remember to take small bites at this truth.
I was a back stabber when I drank. Only to find out while be sober that I was stealing the spirit of the environment.
That was my experience.
Remember you always have a friend to talk to.
Yours truly,
Joel
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