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vandago



Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
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Rules of comedy.
#22357403 - 10/10/15 01:28 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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When I was growing up I had always had a deep passion for comedy. I had 3 surgeries by the time I was 10, one of them being removal of a tumor, so I'd been through hell already, and always had that class clown sense to it.
I was raised on comedy through my grandfather. I had read up on it, asked people who practiced it.
I had always heard two golden rules:
1. Never make fun of a fellow comedians art
2. DON'T STEAL JOKES
So the last show I did my promoter hired a guy for the third time.....each time this guy has shown up halfway through the show, he's been an asshole to everyone, and he insults me hardcore during his set ( I'm the one hosting the show ). Since the bill cosby thing, it's been common practice to try and ridicule fellow comedians in hopes of a full blown melt to get yourself attention. Now this fuckin comedian actually takes all his jokes from 4chan and reddit....
"Bro....bicycles are just like acoustic motorcycles"
"Bro if two vegans argue, is it still beef?"
Plus many many others.
He's rude as fuck and HE GETS PAID!!!! I donate my proceeds to charities....hell I even cut my hair off on stage for charity last month....
This guy has got me to the point where I have to form a personal vendetta against him to not have the bitch card on me.......I just can't figure out the proper way too.
I was thinking just flooding his FB wall with the memes of the jokes he tells.....I have been talking to other comedians and some of them have noticed, but he has a huge cult following here.....he's like a very ghetto carlos mencia.
How should I go about this and not look like a dick head?
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Masked
The Nutter



Registered: 11/26/12
Posts: 8,979
Loc: Canada
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Re: Rules of comedy. [Re: vandago]
#22357413 - 10/10/15 01:34 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Carlos mencia got owned by Joe rogan
I suggest you do the same thing. Outclass him and make people laugh while doing it
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vandago



Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
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Re: Rules of comedy. [Re: Masked]
#22357429 - 10/10/15 01:44 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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It's a hard thing to do because he is very chris rock about his sets.....everything is a race thing.....and he steals all his segways and brags about his navy BS.
Joe rogan has the power to tear people apart. His voice is heard by millions and it's strong as fuck. It's weird being a small time no voice trying to have a voice, and have to focus on using it to step on someone because they suck.
My comedy isn't perfect, but a lot of people show up for me, and I pull a few hundred a show for random causes. I gotta figure out a tactful way to ravage this guy.
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mindbodysoul
the fertile


Registered: 03/10/14
Posts: 912
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Re: Rules of comedy. [Re: vandago]
#22357434 - 10/10/15 01:46 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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rule 3.(this one only applies to women) don't make jokes about your vagina
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Lofetospoon9
Stranger

Registered: 05/13/15
Posts: 156
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Re: Rules of comedy. [Re: Masked]
#22357438 - 10/10/15 01:47 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Dude i so feel for you friend. I wish that there was one easy way to deal with morons. (A legal, ethical way of course)
-------------------- 1) All living things are highly organized and contain many complex chemical substances. 2) All living things contain one or more cells 3) All living things use energy. 4) Living things have a definite form and have a limited size. 5) Living things grow. 6) Living things respond to changes in the environment. 7) Living things can reproduce. 8) Living things eventually die.
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Masked
The Nutter



Registered: 11/26/12
Posts: 8,979
Loc: Canada
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Re: Rules of comedy. [Re: vandago] 1
#22357440 - 10/10/15 01:49 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Hmm good points. I don't know then. Anything you do, it runs the risk of you, as you put it, looking like a "little bitch" Short of Joe roganing him lol, I have no clue.
On a side note, I'm thinking of going to a few local open mic nights. My friends have told me for years I should. I think it's badass u do stand up
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: Rules of comedy. [Re: vandago] 1
#22357443 - 10/10/15 01:50 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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that guy needs a talking to by Emo Philips, vandago.
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Amanita86
OTD Keymaster


Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
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Re: Rules of comedy. [Re: vandago]
#22357447 - 10/10/15 01:53 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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I went through a phase where all I watched was (name a comedian) "heckled by audience", or "destroys heckler". Things like that. Just be clever and slick. Rule no.1 in comedy, you gotta be quick on your feet.
Like up coming bands. Comedians either melt, or they learn to bring the fire. You just can't get pissed...or you 'dickhead' yourself..
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Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
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Lofetospoon9
Stranger

Registered: 05/13/15
Posts: 156
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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Quote:
mindbodysoul said: rule 3.(this one only applies to women) don't make jokes about your vagina
Yup.
-------------------- 1) All living things are highly organized and contain many complex chemical substances. 2) All living things contain one or more cells 3) All living things use energy. 4) Living things have a definite form and have a limited size. 5) Living things grow. 6) Living things respond to changes in the environment. 7) Living things can reproduce. 8) Living things eventually die.
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vandago



Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
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Re: Rules of comedy. [Re: Amanita86]
#22357459 - 10/10/15 02:04 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Masked said: Hmm good points. I don't know then. Anything you do, it runs the risk of you, as you put it, looking like a "little bitch" Short of Joe roganing him lol, I have no clue.
On a side note, I'm thinking of going to a few local open mic nights. My friends have told me for years I should. I think it's badass u do stand up 
I think the joe rogan experience may be a good effort. Next time I actually do a set with him instead of host I'll open a few of my jokes with "And ya I stole this one off reddit too btw"....."GIVE IT UP TO ME FOR WRITING MY OWN JOKES!!!" Etc
Quote:
Amanita86 said: I went through a phase where all I watched was (name a comedian) "heckled by audience", or "destroys heckler". Things like that. Just be clever and slick. Rule no.1 in comedy, you gotta be quick on your feet.
Like up coming bands. Comedians either melt, or they learn to bring the fire. You just can't get pissed...or you 'dickhead' yourself..
Being quick on your feet isn't even a necessity. Having it planned out to where you fall it was on purpose is even better. Andy kaufman style. I keep cool calm and collected during the shows. I even pulled the guy aside at our last event which was around 100 people, and told him how fucked it was the way he approaches me in front of a crowd but he is cool to me in private....and told him I didn't appreciate the bs one bit.....he didn't even have shit to say......then this show he just straight burns my entire hosting performance as his opener.....which got laughs from the crowd only because they knew it got to me.....up until that point I had 20+ people coming up to me shaking my hand and asking me all kinds of shit.
I love doing stand up. I love being goofy. I don't like the standards "scenes" set up. I started in the music "scene" and it fell apart....now this comedy scene is booming here and its so weird. The pack mentality is fierce.
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Amanita86
OTD Keymaster


Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
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Re: Rules of comedy. [Re: vandago]
#22357467 - 10/10/15 02:13 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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How did the crowd know it got to you if you didnt flake out in some visible way?
Have you ever seen a roast?
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Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
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vandago



Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
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Re: Rules of comedy. [Re: Amanita86]
#22357476 - 10/10/15 02:26 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Because it was an opening attack that was a down low insult. It was one of those "OOOooooo hahahaha" laughs. I just smiled.
I've seen hundreds of roasts. I've been part of at least 20 roasts, so I've been roasted properly.
Roasting the host is one thing. Making fun of my appearance etc. Roasting my material and my set while you are blatantly stealing jokes and getting paid to do it is fucking bullshit.
Half the crowd left for this guy. I was literally yawning at the end of his set. I can make an 90+ person crowd stick around for 3 hours no problem. I never dull it like that. This dude sank the ship and tried to pin it on me.
I see him all over the place, just rambling shit he read online and being extremely racist about it.
It's hard writing your own jokes, and it's even harder taking life experience and making it funny. It's purely insulting to watch someone get paid to steal what people take pride in writing.
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twighead
mͯó



Registered: 08/27/08
Posts: 29,560
Loc: Glenn Gould's Fuck Windmill
Last seen: 1 hour, 40 minutes
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Re: Rules of comedy. [Re: vandago]
#22357485 - 10/10/15 02:35 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Replace his beverage with piss, preferably during a show, find a way to get it to him
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vandago



Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
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Re: Rules of comedy. [Re: twighead]
#22357486 - 10/10/15 02:36 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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I could replace it with something way way way stronger than piss 
"Since you like stealing jokes, I'll go ahead and take that purdy face of yours "
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Amanita86
OTD Keymaster


Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
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Re: Rules of comedy. [Re: vandago]
#22357499 - 10/10/15 02:47 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Well Im guessing you work for an owner..and he doesn't want his stage turning into a rap battle...maybe he does..
Id just have to catch the vibe.. just say something about him having those jokes he borrowed back in the drop box by morning or some side of mouth shit, keeping it on the tracks.
Hey I can tell you've been practicing those jokes, you're getting pretty good with them man, almost as good as the guy that wrote them..
I don't know how far you want to take it.. what's something he ripped on you about? Let's see what I would have said...
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Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: Rules of comedy. [Re: vandago]
#22357515 - 10/10/15 02:55 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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it takes so much balls to go up on stage. just thought i'd mention that, vandago. i like the thought of doing comedy, i grew up with it, but damn...the stage...people...staring.
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deucedbi9
Stranger

Registered: 10/24/06
Posts: 4,594
Loc: UK
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Re: Rules of comedy. [Re: vandago]
#22357519 - 10/10/15 02:57 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Next time you come on after him make a big show of applauding him off the stage with a "ladies and gentlemen, please, give up for MR shhhiit Tallkerrr!"
Hold a finger theatrically to your ear, as if recieving a message through an earpiece, while putting a hand up as if to shuch the crowd and pronounce "oh, my mistake, mr 'real name of shit talker' wit a "sorry ladies and gentlemen, I think the déjà vu I was experiencing throughout the last set must have messed with my mind a little".
Then look at your phone telling the audience "here's one I found on 'reddit', tell the joke, and then "sicerely hope I haven't ruined 'name of shitheads' next set.
Go on with your own material.
-------------------- whether low pressure sucks or high pressure blows... it's a bugger to cycle in. even though I'm feeling good Something tells me I'd better activate my prayer capsule
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: Rules of comedy. [Re: deucedbi9]
#22357520 - 10/10/15 02:58 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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just tell him 'suck a ponderosa, you cuntflop.'
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Burke Dennings
baby merchant

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
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Re: Rules of comedy. [Re: vandago]
#22357521 - 10/10/15 03:00 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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It sounds like this guy is intimidated by you.
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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just tell him
stfu you dogged miscreant. you are nothing but a garbled mess of redundant recycled comic relief and misconstrued in-jokes, for some reason. makes you wanna just cringe and vomit.
you upstairs jerking-off in the dark with a fluffy cupid's arrow dildo up his ass chained inside an electric fence faggot.
you amount to an amoebas neuronal discharge, STFU and get lost you fucking retarded bounder of cockstuffing homoage.
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