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Invisibledanielx
whatup!
 User Gallery

Registered: 10/13/08
Posts: 6,500
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: orison]
    #22583659 - 11/27/15 06:53 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

:lol:

sucks to be the guy who got his picture stolen off the web to make that fake profile. Does look like a creeper tho


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Long live kratom :kratom:


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Offlinebloodsheen
ChemChaplin
Male User Gallery


Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 7,659
Last seen: 4 years, 13 days
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: LsDreamin]
    #22583788 - 11/27/15 07:37 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

rob207 said:




I wonder if this is meant to be a weird funny way of finding a hookup or if this is like some sort of revenge profile on an ex gf

Gotta admit, kinda hard not to at least read this twice to be sure you actually read that


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A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog


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Invisiblephilopian_tube
Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 443
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: Salomon]
    #22583840 - 11/27/15 07:51 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Salomon said:
Quote:

rob207 said:




:pm:




back off salomon


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InvisibleLsDreamin
Stranger
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Registered: 10/23/10
Posts: 492
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: philopian_tube]
    #22583869 - 11/27/15 07:57 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Maybe she just wants to be a single mom, collect child support and take herps meds


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Invisibledanielx
whatup!
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Registered: 10/13/08
Posts: 6,500
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: danielx] * 2
    #22584664 - 11/28/15 12:41 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Good lord, this one has no shame in making it abudantly clear shes looking for a man with money. And bonus points if you give her a job too. (shes broke, but you def can't be broke, how else would you take care of her?)



Quote:

I want FINANCIAL STABILITY but also looking for a guy to spend my time with. If you've got a good job and willing to spend some cash on someone loyal and cute, then I'm the gal for you!

On a more serious note, I am looking for a connection. I like movies, animals, science, space, biology, video games, cartoons, and nice dinners. Bonus points if you like any or all of these things too! I'm currently a vet tech student with a long school life ahead of me (considering being a vet). Also bonus points if you're in the vet field because I need a full-time job (I'm kidding. Kind of). I'm open to having a kid someday, but after I've passed the VTNE boards.

I am very internet savvy. Maybe a little too much so.

I've never been in a relationship before, so I'm just trying something new. What I like in a guy is someone with a good sense of humor, clean and neat, and also likes animals. If you're in a science-y field, that's a huge plus I think, but probably not that important. I also like a guy with dinero.

I have a chihuahua who is like my daughter. If you do not like dogs, we will probably not work out (but I may make some exceptions).




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Long live kratom :kratom:


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InvisibleHobozen
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Registered: 11/03/11
Posts: 10,634
Loc: Flag
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: danielx]
    #22584680 - 11/28/15 12:48 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

GIVE GIVE GIVE ME YOUR SOULLL


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Invisibledanielx
whatup!
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Registered: 10/13/08
Posts: 6,500
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: danielx]
    #22584686 - 11/28/15 12:53 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

This one has no free time, whatsoever. And all you need to know is she has kids. Not sure why shes on a dating app, but I bet there is a huge line of men just dying to date this catch.
---



Quote:

About Me
Single parent Mom who takes care of her son 24/7 so I have no free time for myself!




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Long live kratom :kratom:


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Offlinegbeau9080
WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB
Male

Registered: 11/01/15
Posts: 204
Last seen: 8 years, 30 days
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: danielx] * 1
    #22584694 - 11/28/15 12:58 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

lol we need to legalize prostitution so women like these can get a proper title.


--------------------


"I'm like a catholic chasing a dreidel. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caugh it!"

"It's simple: we, uh, circumcise the Batman."

"If you're good at something, never do it for free."


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Invisibledanielx
whatup!
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Registered: 10/13/08
Posts: 6,500
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: gbeau9080]
    #22584702 - 11/28/15 01:05 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

a prostitute would be alot cheaper and less of a headache than that broad, thats for sure.

How does a woman come to expect to be taken care of by a man? If they're super banging it makes sense, but some generic chick like that, is daddy rich so she learned it from a young age? Is it just in their genes? Product of their enviorment?

Most woman be shoppin and are gold diggers to a subconscious level, but one that is so blatant like her is outrageous. Like do guys even talk to her? I bet she says that shit, but she'll fuck any good lookin guy that comes knocking on that door.


--------------------
Long live kratom :kratom:


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Offlinegbeau9080
WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB
Male

Registered: 11/01/15
Posts: 204
Last seen: 8 years, 30 days
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: danielx]
    #22584724 - 11/28/15 01:25 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

I think it's a combination of us men being natural providers and/or being downright desperate for that pootang. Women like her know this and take advantage of it. It's come to the point where they don't even have to hide it anymore because men will spend money and time just for a chance to get some pussy. All they have to do is make a living off the suckers till "prince charming" comes.


--------------------


"I'm like a catholic chasing a dreidel. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caugh it!"

"It's simple: we, uh, circumcise the Batman."

"If you're good at something, never do it for free."


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Offlinebloodsheen
ChemChaplin
Male User Gallery


Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 7,659
Last seen: 4 years, 13 days
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: danielx]
    #22585023 - 11/28/15 04:54 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

danielx said:
Good lord, this one has no shame in making it abudantly clear shes looking for a man with money. And bonus points if you give her a job too. (shes broke, but you def can't be broke, how else would you take care of her?)



Quote:

I want FINANCIAL STABILITY but also looking for a guy to spend my time with. If you've got a good job and willing to spend some cash on someone loyal and cute, then I'm the gal for you!

On a more serious note, I am looking for a connection. I like movies, animals, science, space, biology, video games, cartoons, and nice dinners. Bonus points if you like any or all of these things too! I'm currently a vet tech student with a long school life ahead of me (considering being a vet). Also bonus points if you're in the vet field because I need a full-time job (I'm kidding. Kind of). I'm open to having a kid someday, but after I've passed the VTNE boards.

I am very internet savvy. Maybe a little too much so.

I've never been in a relationship before, so I'm just trying something new. What I like in a guy is someone with a good sense of humor, clean and neat, and also likes animals. If you're in a science-y field, that's a huge plus I think, but probably not that important. I also like a guy with dinero.

I have a chihuahua who is like my daughter. If you do not like dogs, we will probably not work out (but I may make some exceptions).






This is one is kinda sickening. Basically shes an internet nerd who cares more about animals than people, but is willing to let you take her virginity if you'll help her get through school

I disagree thats is cruel to make fun of these people. Its one thing to be like "Lolz, this girl is such a loser, trying to get laid on the interwebz" ...But if you choose to portray yourself this way for the world to see, you deserve all the derision you get


--------------------


A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog


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Invisibledanielx
whatup!
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Registered: 10/13/08
Posts: 6,500
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: bloodsheen]
    #22586615 - 11/28/15 02:15 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

the sad part is there are some thirsty mother fuckers out there. I bet every woman in this thread had hundreds of messages.

This ultimately reinforces the behavior. These woman think acting this way is acceptable, and it reinforces they are the queen of the world, and deserve all of the above. I mean, look at the line of men looking to date me.

They will never find anyone good enough for them because they've built these expectations up so high.


--------------------
Long live kratom :kratom:


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Offlinegbeau9080
WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB
Male

Registered: 11/01/15
Posts: 204
Last seen: 8 years, 30 days
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: danielx]
    #22586686 - 11/28/15 02:30 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Yeah, it's pretty fucking sick. I feel bad for the dude that she's eventually going to settle for when she's all used up.


--------------------


"I'm like a catholic chasing a dreidel. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caugh it!"

"It's simple: we, uh, circumcise the Batman."

"If you're good at something, never do it for free."


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InvisibleShiithead
Your Huckleberry
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 9,997
Loc: God's Flat Green Earth
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: danielx] * 4
    #22587110 - 11/28/15 04:16 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)



--------------------

Ephesians 6:12
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Psalm 12:6
The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times.
Hebrews 11:3
Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.
Revelation 3:11
Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.


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OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: Shiithead]
    #22587359 - 11/28/15 05:21 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Woman Makes Worst Online Profile Ever, Gets Tons of Responses from Desperate Men


http://gawker.com/woman-creates-worst-online-dating-profile-ever-gets-1495674285


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OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: Crystal G]
    #22587380 - 11/28/15 05:26 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Some guys on the internet are strangely psychotic. Don't return their affections with immediate haste, and they sometimes have the capacity to go bezerk on you.




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OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: Crystal G] * 1
    #22587400 - 11/28/15 05:34 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

I also found a POF and OkCupid profile one time (2 separate guys), who both said "WHITES ONLY" on their page.

The only one that I would accept is the raw-eating rabbit guy, cause that sounds like something I would totally do. Except rabbits are filled with parasites, I would probably have turned it into a stew or something.





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Invisibledanielx
whatup!
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Registered: 10/13/08
Posts: 6,500
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: Crystal G]
    #22587585 - 11/28/15 06:22 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Wow, that guy went from 0 to 60 real fast. Like for real, telling some strange woman over the internet you are going to beat her ass would never even cross my mind, even if I was telling and talking shit. Sounds battshit insane for sure.

Mr77 looks like a cool customer though.


--------------------
Long live kratom :kratom:


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InvisibleAlexestalex
fallen angel
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 03/20/12
Posts: 5,644
Loc: heart of the sun
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: danielx]
    #22587592 - 11/28/15 06:24 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

this thread has convinced me to never join a dating site:thumbup:


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Stay far from timid, only make moves when your heart's in it.


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InvisibleDark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop
Male User Gallery

Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: Alexestalex]
    #22587674 - 11/28/15 06:41 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Nothing like mixing romance & sex with the internet to bring out the loony toons. Sometimes I think about giving the online thing a shot, but then I see shit like this.....


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