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Invisibleluvdemboomers
loner with a boner
Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 5,054
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: Handslikehouses] * 14
    #22353232 - 10/09/15 05:02 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

pretty old but still hilarious:



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Offlinekoods
Ribbit
Male User Gallery


Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,059
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 22 minutes, 48 seconds
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: luvdemboomers]
    #22353435 - 10/09/15 07:13 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

sheekle needs to post in this thread. his technique is unusual.


--------------------
NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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Invisibledanielx
whatup!
 User Gallery

Registered: 10/13/08
Posts: 6,500
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: Big Worm]
    #22354324 - 10/09/15 11:33 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

My god, how many times did she say you need to take her to the bar? :lol:


--------------------
Long live kratom :kratom:


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Invisibledanielx
whatup!
 User Gallery

Registered: 10/13/08
Posts: 6,500
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: danielx]
    #22354516 - 10/09/15 12:41 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

I really enjoyed the illiteracy with this one. Sometimes I wonder if people are really this illiterate or they type like that because they think its cute.

Pretty obvious she "quite" school a long time ago.




Quote:

About Serina
Hello,well im a single mom of two girl that are my world. I have a 4 year old, and a 1 year old. Iam 21 years. I was going to school for awhile but had to quite cuz i needed money.i work hard and come home to my kids.right now i am looking for friends then maybe someday in the future friends can turn into more.i love the out doors. Especially in the summer time. I just want someone who loves kids




--------------------
Long live kratom :kratom:


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InvisibleMr.PhilCybin
Master Baiter
I'm a teapot

Registered: 06/13/11
Posts: 11,642
Loc: Gnarnia
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: danielx]
    #22354577 - 10/09/15 01:00 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

:popcorn:


--------------------
I'm stupid, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is smart.
I'm ugly, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Falcon91Wolvrn03 but secretly know I never will.


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OfflineEnvix
Avoidant Disorder
 User Gallery


Registered: 11/04/08
Posts: 18,206
Last seen: 9 months, 25 days
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: danielx]
    #22354651 - 10/09/15 01:30 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

danielx said:
I really enjoyed the illiteracy with this one. Sometimes I wonder if people are really this illiterate or they type like that because they think its cute.

Pretty obvious she "quite" school a long time ago.




Quote:

About Serina
Hello,well im a single mom of two girl that are my world. I have a 4 year old, and a 1 year old. Iam 21 years. I was going to school for awhile but had to quite cuz i needed money.i work hard and come home to my kids.right now i am looking for friends then maybe someday in the future friends can turn into more.i love the out doors. Especially in the summer time. I just want someone who loves kids






this is what happens when poor people have kids they aren't prepared to be responsible for.

the kids go to a public school and the parents view them as a nuisance their entire lives. the kids grow up disdainful of the parents and live promiscuous lives full of sex and risky behavior. as a result, these children become pregnant early, without any sort of guidance or financial structure to support the family. with the way our current socio-economic system is in place, this makes it impossible for financially unfit parents to properly raise children without government support. not to mention the lack of education from a life of hasty decisions and procrastination is not enough to qualify an individual to teach a child proper guidance and it will just continue the cycle for as long as the system is in place.

these social media networking sites are cropping up as an opportunity for young single mothers to reach out in a desperate plea for help because there's no fucking way they're capable of raising kids on their own


--------------------
smack a hoe out this dimension
continue my ascension
-bhad bhabie

rip. todcasil, acid sloth, st1llnox, zappaisgod, big worm (sketch), tim b


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Invisibledanielx
whatup!
 User Gallery

Registered: 10/13/08
Posts: 6,500
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: Envix]
    #22354698 - 10/09/15 01:46 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

:feelsbadman:


--------------------
Long live kratom :kratom:


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Offlinenicechrisman
Interdimensional space wizard
Male User Gallery


Registered: 11/07/03
Posts: 33,241
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: danielx] * 10
    #22355131 - 10/09/15 03:59 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

My dating profile in a nutshell


--------------------
"Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent:
it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not."

John C. Lily

 


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OfflinePatlal
You ask too many questions
Male User Gallery


Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa Flag
Last seen: 7 hours, 48 minutes
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: Masked] * 1
    #22355353 - 10/09/15 04:54 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Masked said:
http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/22201294#22201294

:smug:




I kinda like that one to be honest.


--------------------


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Invisibledionysiandame
Mischievous Maenad
Female

Registered: 08/27/13
Posts: 324
Loc: Samothrace
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: nicechrisman]
    #22355371 - 10/09/15 04:58 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

"Hay ws up. Sexy new Red boned Tgirl Transgender Virgo. Very independent, out going jst trying to live and enjoy life, with goals. I'm single, sre stay away from the bs or games. True R&B soul, Travel, Movies, Gd meal and mst of all some real gd VIP time wit my man."

I don't care that she's transgender or even a Virgo (because Virgos rock.) but one of those goals should be spelling and forming coherent sentences. And holy shit, people still say "red boned?"

*sigh* My people.


--------------------
He (Dionysos) keeps me with all of his other pretty things for I am just another pretty thing in a long list of acquisitions. :psychsplit:
Yes! And their brains are releasing adrenaline, dopamine, even dimethyltryptamine from the pineal gland! This has serious educational value! Thanatophobia and this N.D.E. is giving us euphoric altered awareness! Don't you see, Princess? We were all born to die! – Finn the Human
Pay me what you owe me. Don't act like you forgot. BBHMM.


Edited by dionysiandame (10/09/15 05:00 PM)


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Invisibledanielx
whatup!
 User Gallery

Registered: 10/13/08
Posts: 6,500
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: danielx]
    #22580373 - 11/26/15 11:08 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Well, im back on that online dating train again. Thought id post up some more good profiles. Not sure what the influx is with preggo chicks on these dating apps, but I just saw three of them in the five minutes I was looking. Most have another baby. Can these chicks seriously not wait a few months to date, and do they have no fucking concept of contraceptive whatsoever?

---



Quote:

I'm Caitlyn. I'm 20. I'm a single mom to a 1 year old, and I'm 8 months pregnant by the same douche bag. When I moved here to California I came here for family, but I also came here to escape an abusive relationship one of which if I would've stayed he would've killed me. I'm not into partying anymore. I'm not into drugs or any of that. I'm not into casual sex or one night stands. I'm looking for my Prince Charming. Someone who loves me and my kids. Someone who is honest and loyal and has ambition in life. I can't date another druggy and I can't date someone who only cares about themselves. I need a man. Not a boy. Please do not hit me up if you just want to get in my pants. Please don't hit me up unless you have intentions on possibly dating me and later on marrying me. Also, I'd rather you not message me if you haven't even read my profile. So if you have, when you message me, mention that you have please.


A perfect man for me, would have to be someone who is family oriented. Someone who would rather cuddle and watch a movie on a Saturday night rather than go party or drink. Someone who's idea of a Saturday morning is cuddled up on the couch with me and my daughters (and his kids if he has them) watching cartoons while eating pancakes. Someone who is my bestfriend first, and my lover second. Someone who will laugh and get all my corny jokes, and someone who wants to know as much about me as I want to know about them. In a relationship, I'd want to know everything about my man. Where was his born? How much did he weigh? His favorite color, the way he likes his coffee. Those are just a couple but I want a relationship where we can be open and honest with each other and be genuinely happy. Side note : I can't date another mommas boy. It shouldn't feel like your mother is laying in between us in bed at night. I want a man. Someone who will work for what he wants, and someone who will put as much effort in our relationship as I will, which is 110%.
If this sounds like you, please message me. Id love to meet the man of my dreams and raise a happy healthy family.





More to come if ya'll are into them.


--------------------
Long live kratom :kratom:


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Offlinegbeau9080
WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB
Male

Registered: 11/01/15
Posts: 204
Last seen: 8 years, 30 days
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: danielx] * 7
    #22580393 - 11/26/15 11:12 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Oh man I've been waiting for a chance to show this pic


--------------------


"I'm like a catholic chasing a dreidel. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caugh it!"

"It's simple: we, uh, circumcise the Batman."

"If you're good at something, never do it for free."


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Invisibledanielx
whatup!
 User Gallery

Registered: 10/13/08
Posts: 6,500
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: gbeau9080] * 2
    #22580396 - 11/26/15 11:14 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

:doge:


--------------------
Long live kratom :kratom:


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InvisibleMr.PhilCybin
Master Baiter
I'm a teapot

Registered: 06/13/11
Posts: 11,642
Loc: Gnarnia
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: danielx]
    #22581390 - 11/27/15 09:11 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

danielx said:
Well, im back on that online dating train again. Thought id post up some more good profiles. Not sure what the influx is with preggo chicks on these dating apps, but I just saw three of them in the five minutes I was looking. Most have another baby. Can these chicks seriously not wait a few months to date, and do they have no fucking concept of contraceptive whatsoever?

---



Quote:

I'm Caitlyn. I'm 20. I'm a single mom to a 1 year old, and I'm 8 months pregnant by the same douche bag. When I moved here to California I came here for family, but I also came here to escape an abusive relationship one of which if I would've stayed he would've killed me. I'm not into partying anymore. I'm not into drugs or any of that. I'm not into casual sex or one night stands. I'm looking for my Prince Charming. Someone who loves me and my kids. Someone who is honest and loyal and has ambition in life. I can't date another druggy and I can't date someone who only cares about themselves. I need a man. Not a boy. Please do not hit me up if you just want to get in my pants. Please don't hit me up unless you have intentions on possibly dating me and later on marrying me. Also, I'd rather you not message me if you haven't even read my profile. So if you have, when you message me, mention that you have please.


A perfect man for me, would have to be someone who is family oriented. Someone who would rather cuddle and watch a movie on a Saturday night rather than go party or drink. Someone who's idea of a Saturday morning is cuddled up on the couch with me and my daughters (and his kids if he has them) watching cartoons while eating pancakes. Someone who is my bestfriend first, and my lover second. Someone who will laugh and get all my corny jokes, and someone who wants to know as much about me as I want to know about them. In a relationship, I'd want to know everything about my man. Where was his born? How much did he weigh? His favorite color, the way he likes his coffee. Those are just a couple but I want a relationship where we can be open and honest with each other and be genuinely happy. Side note : I can't date another mommas boy. It shouldn't feel like your mother is laying in between us in bed at night. I want a man. Someone who will work for what he wants, and someone who will put as much effort in our relationship as I will, which is 110%.
If this sounds like you, please message me. Id love to meet the man of my dreams and raise a happy healthy family.





More to come if ya'll are into them.





"don't message me unless you wanna marry me "

this bitch
:trololol:


--------------------
I'm stupid, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is smart.
I'm ugly, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Falcon91Wolvrn03 but secretly know I never will.


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InvisibleLsDreamin
Stranger
 User Gallery


Registered: 10/23/10
Posts: 492
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: Mr.PhilCybin] * 9
    #22581968 - 11/27/15 11:36 AM (8 years, 2 months ago)



--------------------


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InvisibleSalomon
ಠ︵ಠ balance ಠ_ಠ weaver ಠ‿ಠ
Male
Registered: 01/17/09
Posts: 25,128
Loc: America, FUCK YEAH Flag
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: LsDreamin] * 4
    #22582082 - 11/27/15 12:05 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

rob207 said:




:pm:


--------------------
EVERYTHING EVENTUALLY BECOMES A DESERT



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Invisibledanielx
whatup!
 User Gallery

Registered: 10/13/08
Posts: 6,500
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: LsDreamin]
    #22582220 - 11/27/15 12:46 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

def the woman of my dreams right there


--------------------
Long live kratom :kratom:


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InvisibleLsDreamin
Stranger
 User Gallery


Registered: 10/23/10
Posts: 492
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: danielx] * 3
    #22582667 - 11/27/15 02:37 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)



--------------------


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Offlinemusiclover420
psychonaut
Male User Gallery


Registered: 11/06/12
Posts: 19,563
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: LsDreamin]
    #22582704 - 11/27/15 02:46 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

:lolsy:

Great thread idea!

I may have to add to it eventually...


--------------------
Don't worry about me, I've got all that I need. And I'm singing my song to the sky

You know how it feels, With the breeze of the sun in your eyes. Not minding that time's passing by

I've got all and more, My smile, just as before. Is all that I carry with me

I talk to myself, I need nobody else. I'm lost and I'm mine, yes I'm free



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Offlineorison
mcfluffysugarnuts


Registered: 01/19/09
Posts: 5,468
Last seen: 24 days, 17 hours
Re: post hilarious dating profiles [Re: musiclover420] * 4
    #22582883 - 11/27/15 03:22 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

oldie



--------------------


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