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Anonymous #1
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Someone help me
#22342806 - 10/06/15 08:59 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Well to make a short story.My mom has blood clots in her lungs.she called into the hospital today around 3 or 4pm.She also has beeast cancer,but had her breast removed.All in all i know she does'nt have many years left to live .I had a brother who comitted suicide through drug overdose on chistmas day in 2012.Also another family member who committed suicide,so i assume i am prine to these depressive states. Anyways to top off thebstress it just now hitbme on what the fuck i am going to do if and when that happens.I have suicidal thoughts when i think about it.
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Anonymous #2
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One day in the very near future you'll look back at all of that and be thankful for how much stronger you are for having gone through all of that. The universe loves you
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Anonymous #3
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Prayer always helps me... somehow
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Anonymous #4
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Not much to do to help you. It's going to suck regardless. I have lost a lot of close people, and it never gets easier to deal with. Nothing anyone can say or do will make it easier. It's going to destroy you, and there is little you can do to prevent that. You just have to endure it. Turn to drugs and alcohol all you are doing is prolonging the pain. Numb yourself up, but as soon as you stop doing it, you're going to face every thing you would've faced in the first place. You cannot hide or run from it, eventually it ALWAYS catches up. So don't go doing stupid shit like getting trashed because you think if you can just numb yourself for now, eventually you won't need to be numb to keep away the pain.
I hate to be so bleak and blunt, but this is the reality of the situation. Plenty of people have gotten through it even when we swore we couldn't handle it, you will too. I know when it happens it seems you won't ever get over it, but you will.
Allow yourself to grieve and process it all. Don't try to avoid it just becuase it's painful. It only has negative consequences in the end.
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Anonymous #1
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I appreciate all the respones guys.I'm trying to keep my mind off it until i get a call.She's probably going to stay in overnight I guess i'll keep my mind occupied until i get a call.
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Anonymous #5
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im sure plenty of people surive
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Anonymous #6
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I don't know man, what do you do? I guess you could ask people what they do, it might provide some advice. But what do you do? That's what I ask myself. I suppose we'll find out won't we.
What do I do? I usually just kind of destroy stuff. Whether it's myself or a random Outback Steakhouse bathroom. Things like that. I usually just get mad and break shit. It's not like that's what I set out to do, it's just what's happened so far.
Either way don't give up, ride this fucker until the wheels fall off. Never give up. I'd rather fail than quit anyday. For whatever reason, just keep going, if only in spite..
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Anonymous #7
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Quote:
Anonymous #2 said: One day in the very near future you'll look back at all of that and be thankful for how much stronger you are for having gone through all of that. The universe loves you
life IS NOT SO EASY. I lost a great lifelong friend last week, cancer. The same fucking week a friend blew his brain out, of course with a 38. Suicide is something I just cant understand. Easy way out. I have my ups and downs like EVERYBODY ELSE. Sorry you are going through all this,it does get better. Do something that makes you happy, even if you have to force yourself to. I care about you. Take it easy.
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Anonymous #8
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don't ask the internet for help. ask a professional. see a doctor or psychiatrist or therapist or something. you might be amazed at how it could help. obviously if it runs in the family its very important to act now bro, get help
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Anonymous #6
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What do you do when you don't make enough money to do that? Or the time away from work so that you can't afford that? Or the money after that to buy any medicine they might offer that won't work. What do you do then? You get passed up and forgotten, if you were even acknowledged in the first place.
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Anonymous #8
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dont you have insurance? most plans cover shit like that. if you don't have the resources for that, then find someone to talk to or read up on ways to manage anxiety and depression. But I really don't know if any conventional things like exercise could help someone with such a family history of depression. You know, general practitioners can prescribe you medication for anxiety and depression too. just talk to a doctor about it or something. Tell them your funds are really limited and ask what you should do.
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Anonymous #9
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I don't know where you are or what country you are in but check out the social and heath services in your area and see if you can apply for medical assistance somehow.
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Anonymous #6
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I think only God can save me now. No band aid is going to fix this.
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Anonymous #10
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Try to get state sponsored insurance and get to a doctor. Best advice I can think of.
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Anonymous #8
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Yup. If you aren't gonna try to do anything, no one else is gonna do it for you
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Anonymous #11
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Hi Anonymous. First, I am very sorry to hear about your many losses. It makes sense that you would be dealing with heavy emotions, given all the grief and loss - plus fear about your mother's health. ((hugs))
I know it's going to sound trite, but therapy can really help. Hospice has a low cost/sliding scale counseling for those who have lost someone. Reach out, make that phone call. You'll be glad you did
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Anonymous #12
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All i can say is, I have no idea what you're going through and if you ever need someone to talk to, add me Loco801. Take care anon.
Edited by Anonymous (10/24/15 12:50 AM)
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Anonymous #13
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Just take everything a moment at a time. I come from a very similar sounding family background and it is fucking hard at times to stay positive. But I take
the sunrises and sunsets one at a time and stare at the stars in between and just try to accept the fucked up world for that. Look into mindfulness if
you haven't already, it has helped me through some tough times.
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Anonymous #14
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Look. I'm not the best with giving advice cause my words are all jumbled so bare with me. Its tough. Lifes tough. Shit can fucking suck sometimes. But know, all of that is something that passes and goes. It hurts. It eats at you. Your brain straight gets exhausted, but its all part of the process. It's natural; at least it is in the modern world if you want to disagree. Be mindful, life is an endless freight train from the day you're born to the day you die, and each freight pulled along in front of you is an experience. A loss, a success, a heartbreak, a come up, a failure, an achievement, so on and so forth. You need to stay standing, and singular and let these experiences pass, don't jump on and ride the freight until you beat yourself up so much and realize you need to jump off and let it go along on its tracks, away from you. I'm no monk or anything, hell i ride these freights all the time. It's hard to deal with emotion, but know that emotion is just hard-coded into you. You're built to feel the things you feel when you feel them. It's OK. Cherish your mothers life, and the people that have passed. It's sad that they're times were too soon, or tragic, etc. but know that you can't latch onto that experience. It's just unhealthy. Remember it, remember your mom, the good times.
Take those good experiences and celebrate them. Live in that moment. Jump on that freight train and jump off when it's time, you don't want to over cherish things either. everything is in proportion and in moderation. I lost my job, girlfriend and lost touch with my family and friends because i was thrown into a depressive slump in 2014. I was weight training 5 days a week for 2 years straight and i stopped and gained 20 pounds when it happened, all cause of the shitty year I had. It took forever to get myself at least out of it a little bit. It was at the point where i stopped caring for school and failed classes, didn't want to get myself out of bed til like 2 pm cause i hated my situations and myself for not being able to care enough about myself to try to do something. "I'm going to do this today, finish this project, do this assignment" would be one of the thoughts when i woke up, and i'd sleep that day with my last thought being "i'll do that tomorrow, finish the project tomorrow, and do that assignment tomorrow" and that was the cycle EVERYDAY.
I'm not going to lie, i grew used to the feeling. It felt good in a way, to be in a shitty state. Like a guilty pleasure, in a sense but it was because I didn't give a fuck about myself anymore and that's backwards. Theres no getting out of your problems if you become apathetic towards everything. Don't let that happen it will be insanely harder than losing your mother, or someone. Be progressive. Be open. Let your mind realize that pain comes and goes and thats what is supposed to happen. Breathe. Find things you like to do and DO them.
I'm guilty of not doing these things all the time, because its just straight flat out hard. Its super hard to be mindful. Mindful thinking and meditation is some really hard bur rewarding stuff, and i think it has a lot of philosophies that you folks at shroomery would find agreeable.
If you need to talk, feel free to pm.
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