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Anonymous #1

Relationships negatively affected by "getting kinky?"
    #22336729 - 10/05/15 12:19 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

I've been in a relationship with my partner for about two and a half years now, and recently I've been really playing round with the idea of spicing things up a little bit in bed and trying something new.

Don't get me wrong, I have zero complaints about the current sex we are having, it's just that I'm hyper sexual when I'm cycling manic so some times I'm willed with the urge to get "kinky"
I already know my partner is a lot more submissive in bed than myself, but just don't know how much more, and I don't exactly know how to phrase the question.

My partner is my absolute best friend in the entire world and I honest to god wouldn't see a point to living anymore if I was not with them.
So honestly I really should be able to have a conversation about it and not worry, but I just have to worry.
Because like I said this relationship is about the only thing that I truly care about and everything else is just a plus.

I've bridged this gap more than once in the past but alway when in relationships that I quite honestly didn't care about besides what I was getting out of them.
And I know exploring each others kinks, preferences, and comfort zones is extremely healthy for a relationship,
But I'm just so worried about making things awkward or somehow affecting out relationship negatively in some other way.

So what do you guys think is best to do?
Have you ever heard of a relationships running into issues after deciding to spice things up in the be roo


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Anonymous #2

Re: Relationships negatively affected by "getting kinky?" [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22336898 - 10/05/15 01:17 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

If by "kinky" you are referring to going beyond both of your comfort levels but keeping between you then you should be fine. Just go slow and let them know what you are planning, don't do anything that would hurt or humiliate without talking about it first.

If you are talking about adding other people then I would seriously consider the idea that shit could fall apart if one of you doesn't take to it and the other one does. (it may not be him/her that turns out uncomfortable.


just my 2 cents


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Invisiblekoraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,672
Re: Relationships negatively affected by "getting kinky?" [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #22337106 - 10/05/15 02:24 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

So what do you guys think is best to do?



Talk to them about it. It isn't going to happen all by itself. You'll have to start talking about what you do and don't want.

Quote:

Have you ever heard of a relationships running into issues after deciding to spice things up in the be roo



Absolutely. Turned out we just weren't compatible in the bedroom. That's the kind of thing you'd rather want to know sooner than later.


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OfflineAtrium
Cunt Tickler


Registered: 08/18/13
Posts: 1,284
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
Re: Relationships negatively affected by "getting kinky?" [Re: koraks]
    #22338307 - 10/05/15 07:46 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Try out that computer website that lets you both take turns and choose what you're comfortable with then shows only what's a match.

After that, you can try to bring up things that would otherwise be uncomfortable.

In my opinion if you're dating somebody who isn't perfect for you in 90% overall compatibility, then you're dating the wrong person.

I've had girls that won't give head, that love sex but not 7+ times a week. Those are deal breakers. I'm not a pitiful fuck boy. I just would like to go to dinner, talk to her and stare romantically into her soul, then fuck her hard in the parking lot/driveway/bedroom or get some head and get my load swallowed every time.

And that's all good. Because now I know I will probably next find a chick that I don't stand up to her desires.

So if you feel the relationship is worth it to that degree, and not codependent, then you'll also realize that bringing up ANYTHING will be able to be overcome. I wish somebody wrote that to me earlier. Be honest with yourself (and not what you want to be true, whether good or bad) and present your issues. Lay everything down. Because a relationship that will last is built entirely on trust.


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The only thing about Chemistry I like is all the psychedelics that come from it.

The only reason I study Psychology is to have a legitimate excuse to enjoy Chemistry. :tongue2:


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InvisibleShroomerInTheRye
Clit Commander
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 01/12/12
Posts: 13,036
Loc: Themyscira Flag
Re: Relationships negatively affected by "getting kinky?" [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22338312 - 10/05/15 07:47 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

The key to great sex, IMO, is open, honest talk.  If you want to try kink, then it's especially important to be very honest with each other.  How are you going to let someone, say, tie you up if you can't trust them?

Go slow.  That's an important one.  Kink isn't something you can rush into.  You have to start from a mutual bonding point and work your way into it.  Who knows?  You can start with a blindfold and work small things in here and there to get it just right for both of your liking.

Be patient.  If you really care about her and want to spend the rest of your life with her, then understand that the plunge into kink won't be overnight.

Inform her of the risks involved.  You might be into wax play or flogging, but she may not understand it fully.  Explain things and make them safe, and she might be a little more amenable.

Most importantly, safety.  Be safe.  I cannot fathom anything more embarrassing than having to call the fire department or the ambulance over a sex injury.

Good luck OP! :thumbup:


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:nyan: <-- Clicky Clicky


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OfflineLucisM
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
Last seen: 1 month, 29 days
Re: Relationships negatively affected by "getting kinky?" [Re: ShroomerInTheRye]
    #22338554 - 10/05/15 08:42 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

ShroomerInTheRye said:
The key to great sex, IMO, is open, honest talk. 




Yep, just mess around figure out what ya like.

OK so the dildo in the ass was OK...check

But the cheese grater to the balls is out...check


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©️


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