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Offlinempimentel
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Yesterday, worst trip ever.
    #22330672 - 10/03/15 10:38 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

So, I know this is my first post.  But I'm a lurker, I've learned how to grow my own mushrooms here and son on.  Yesterday, I think I went to that place where I did not really want to go, and felt like sharing.

I will try my best to make this short, however I'm sure it wont be so I will try to make this easy to read.

I took 3.5 grams of, whatever mushrooms they were (I have 3 different types growing so I tend to mix if I have to).  Note this is my 5th of 6th trip, so I am fairly new, and 3.5 is the most I've taken.  I should note I am hyper-sensitive to drugs, weed STILL incapacitates me for 4 hours from 6-7 pulls.

1. I took the shrooms, and got the nausea.

2. I went to that place where mind and body separate, my mind kept saying leave your body behind.  Let that nagging person keep nagging, we have a party to go to.

3. I said, (this is where I went wrong)... "No, I want to try to figure out why that person is nagging, why that body is hurting instead of enjoying"...

4. My brain left, and went to party without me, I guess...  At this point I was laying down, this is all with my eyes closed.

5. So I say, you know what, this nagging body is not really letting me enjoy myself.  Lets party... And it all went downhill. 

6.  I felt like I was having a stroke... Half my body felt numb.  I was .02 seconds from calling 911.

7. My friend (the sober one) said to me "yo, just fight it, here lets go outside, you need some air"

8. I'm outside afraid I will fall down the stairs because my body might go limp soon. 

9.  I go inside and feel so sick.  And I was trying to figure it out... "Maybe that nagging person in me not letting me enjoy myself is my dead half... I need to let it out"...  So I try to throw up, I'm in the bathroom now, trying, and nothing comes out... I CANT LET GO.

10.  At this point I'm testing my strength, still thinking this might be a REAL STROKE... (I'm 35 btw).. And I have worked in the medical field so I'm trying to do tests on myself and its all good.  Except I cant feel half of my body. 

11. I figure I need to shower...  Maybe that will help...  I jump in the shower and OMG...  I put the water, hot, then cold, hot, then cold, because half of my body is cold the other half hot.  Now I am really freaking out. 

12.  I end up in the refrigerator, because the thought of anything makes me want to throw up, and right now that's what I need to do... let go!!  So my friend says "If you want to throw up, drink water".

13. I grab a glass with water, but then I see a soda can, and just looking at it makes me nauseous.  So I grab that as well.

14. I am in the bathroom, trying to puke, right hand water, left hand soda...  And I get a EUREKA moment.  As I lay looking at the toilet, maybe this is half my body saying "BE HEALTHY, DRINK THE WATER"..  The other half "THIS IS YOUR DOOM, FAILURE, ALCOHOL, SODA"... 

15.  So I am drinking soda and throwing it back out, in my head screaming "I get it, I get it... you don't need to teach me anything else I got it"...

16.  But that wasn't my lesson to be learned.  And my right half of my body was still numb.

17. I lay on the floor (I am in the presence of two guy friends and a girl I had messed with in the past sexually)... I am half naked, just trying to see if I felt the cold of the floor on the half numb body... and I did.

18.  Not I am seeing things from two brains... The right side of my body, I can feel when I pay attention to it, but not the left, and vise versa.  Something is going on.  What do I need to learn?

19.  I see the girl, and she is also on mushrooms, laying in the floor, because I no longer let her sleep in my bed, because of situations in life... And I recall her saying (before mushrooms) that she needed a hug.

20.  It all just made sense.  I was not going to be complete (both sides of my body), unless I had my other half. 

21.  So I just go up to her, in a weird awkward we have not even hugged in 6 months type of thing and I just hug her, with all I got. 

22.  She starts crying.  I tell her to forgive me.  And she must have been going through her own thing that just coincided with what I was going through...  The song playing in the background, right at that point said "a heart forgives"...

23.  She asks me for what?  (This is still in front of my two other friends)...  So I had to literally reduce myself to nothing and spill out what a D*ck I am.  half naked, beaten.  And the right side of my body started to get feeling again.

24.  I kept talking to her and kept asking for forgiveness, as she cried, the more she let go, the more I let go, the more I became whole again.

25.  Now, I'm not saying when she forgave, she forgave me, perse, I just feel like she was letting go of her own issues, that coincided with my issues, and in a way, we needed to come together to help each other.

26.  I asked her if what I felt was the pain she felt, and she just cried.  All night.  Her letting go helped me let go. 

27.  After the hgih went down, and my body felt semi normal, I still felt like I had lost some feeling in my right side...  I ended up dipping my hands in alcohol and rubbing it on my body... The sting made me feel again..

28. I asked her "So you don't drink to go numb... You drink so you can feel?"...

29. Still seeing the world from two brains, the scariest thing I have ever felt, probably made me a better man.  Understanding that, well, I could get a million things from that, but the most important being.

A. I can't just ignore the fact that everyone needs love, and let that side of you die. '

B. You always have a choice.

C. Remember how your actions make people feel, how would you like to feel that pain?

30. I invited her to sleep in my bed (not sexually just to hug her, I know that's way over)... She declined, said "It's not about when you want"... And that was the whole point...  In this world, when you are dealing with people, it is not just about you...  It's about us...  And being selfish while neglecting the other person is akin to having half of you die.


The end.

I woke up today fully functional, perhaps that means that she forgave, either me, or whatever her struggles were... Or perhaps it means that we both let go.


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Offlinethewanderer25
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Re: Yesterday, worst trip ever. [Re: mpimentel]
    #22330962 - 10/04/15 12:06 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Dont fight it man go with it ride it like a wave. Out of curiosity do you mean strains or species when you said you have 3 growing? Also I find the best way to deal with stress when tripping is to have something like a spirit crystal on you. It always comforts me but it sounds like you just fought it which is not a good thing. The mushrooms may have been showing you something so try and allow them to do what they do and don't fear what they show you. Fear has its uses but cowardice has none, if you take the mushrooms then at least go in with bravery. Fear and doing the wrong thing happen to all of us at one point or another so don't worry about it I had a strong dose of ayahuasca and fought it at first this resulted in the trip being messed with. Its best to just ride the trip like a surfer rides a wave. If you can't do that dont eat them you buy the ticket then take the ride.


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Offlinempimentel
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Re: Yesterday, worst trip ever. [Re: thewanderer25]
    #22331018 - 10/04/15 12:28 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

thewanderer25 said:
Dont fight it man go with it ride it like a wave. Out of curiosity do you mean strains or species when you said you have 3 growing? Also I find the best way to deal with stress when tripping is to have something like a spirit crystal on you. It always comforts me but it sounds like you just fought it which is not a good thing. The mushrooms may have been showing you something so try and allow them to do what they do and don't fear what they show you. Fear has its uses but cowardice has none, if you take the mushrooms then at least go in with bravery. Fear and doing the wrong thing happen to all of us at one point or another so don't worry about it I had a strong dose of ayahuasca and fought it at first this resulted in the trip being messed with. Its best to just ride the trip like a surfer rides a wave. If you can't do that dont eat them you buy the ticket then take the ride.





My friend that comforted me said the same "it just goes in waves"... And thats the only reason I did not call 911. 

And yes I mean I have 3 different types growing (golden teacher is one I can recall right off the top of my head), I just started growing penis envy so that's going to be 4.  So as they grow I dry them and mix them together, so I cannot tell you what I took  Just the three that I may have taken.

And let me ask this, because I have had beautiful trips at lower dosages...  But how can you NOT fight something that literally feels real?

I thought I was having a stroke...  How can I deny that?  What if I really was?  I cant tell it all seems real!  And while at the end I did come out a better man, and I am thankful for the experience...  I DO NOT want to go through all that to learn.  That was some scary stuff man.

I write, and mushrooms have helped me find a path in life, and Ive had two great script Ideas from it, and not only that I've even seen my future...  I've seen wonderful stuff.  But this last one.. Man...


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OfflineP.Zappatecorum
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Registered: 10/15/12
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Re: Yesterday, worst trip ever. [Re: mpimentel] * 1
    #22331078 - 10/04/15 12:59 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Moral of the story: next time, just leave your body.  If you start to see your body die, grab some popcorn and enjoy the show.  Just remember that the death/rebirth cycle is an integral part of the mushroom experience at higher doses, and the onset of that terror is an invitation to shed your illusions, attachments and fears.  Let them wash over you, accept your own death and you will be rewarded with the joy of rebirth and enlightenment, merging with the God-head.  Do not turn away from anything the mushrooms show you.  If you don't like it, breath deeply and remember that is only a hallucination, stare it in the face and remain non-attached to it.  Fighting the experience will only strengthen the fear and induce a panic attack like you had. 


Edited by P.Zappatecorum (10/04/15 01:00 AM)


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Offlinethewanderer25
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Re: Yesterday, worst trip ever. [Re: mpimentel]
    #22331081 - 10/04/15 01:00 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

You're new to tripping so it would be difficult to go with it 100% and tell the real from the fake. But just try and not care to get 100% out of the mushrooms you have to trust them with your life. Just trust that they will show you the way trust that they will protect you and no harm will come. I have faith that they can guide me through my trips so every time I do them I let them control me and follow my instincts. Just make sure that you have faith and good intentions then any does is ok it doesn't matter if you have faith then the mushrooms guide you if you don't you will be stuck in fear doubt and paranoia this is a right of passage all psychonauts went through. To truly be able to function you have to have no fear and the way to do that is to no longer care don't doubt yourself just go with the flow.


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Offlinempimentel
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Re: Yesterday, worst trip ever. [Re: P.Zappatecorum]
    #22332168 - 10/04/15 10:56 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

P.Zappatecorum said:
Moral of the story: next time, just leave your body.  If you start to see your body die, grab some popcorn and enjoy the show.  Just remember that the death/rebirth cycle is an integral part of the mushroom experience at higher doses, and the onset of that terror is an invitation to shed your illusions, attachments and fears.  Let them wash over you, accept your own death and you will be rewarded with the joy of rebirth and enlightenment, merging with the God-head.  Do not turn away from anything the mushrooms show you.  If you don't like it, breath deeply and remember that is only a hallucination, stare it in the face and remain non-attached to it.  Fighting the experience will only strengthen the fear and induce a panic attack like you had. 




damn man, great advice, so deep.


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OfflineRiparianZoneJunky
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Registered: 10/30/11
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Re: Yesterday, worst trip ever. [Re: mpimentel]
    #22333217 - 10/04/15 03:15 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

If you're having difficulty with vomiting/nausea try making tea, a recipe is in my sig.  I have had no issues with negative bodyload since I switched to tea.


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RZJ's Tea Tek
RZJ's Tradelist


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OfflineDomdadda1985
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Registered: 09/10/15
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Last seen: 1 month, 26 days
Re: Yesterday, worst trip ever. [Re: RiparianZoneJunky]
    #22372084 - 10/13/15 08:05 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Yeah that sucks.... Anytime I'm having a bad trip, I constantly repeat (in my head) that's it's just the drugs and your fucked up and try to make a joke about it. Plus a lot of deep breaths in thru your nose and out your mouth.


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Deeeeeeeeez Nutz!!!


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