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Thanatos10
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Registered: 01/19/15
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Relationships
#22324070 - 10/02/15 02:37 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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I'm mostly referring to the romantic sort this time.
For those of you in one, what is it like? How did you meet? How could you tell you wanted to be with this person? I want to understand the reason people decide to enter into this sort of thing.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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zZZz
jesus


Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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Same here,
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DividedQuantum
Outer Head


Registered: 12/06/13
Posts: 9,819
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Quote:
I want to understand the reason people decide to enter into this sort of thing.
At least for me, whenever I happened to be in the type of situation you describe it was due to a temporary insanity. Which is, of course, not to decry relationships.
-------------------- Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici
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cez

Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 5,854
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I think you are not going to understand these reasons through this medium because you are asking questions based on emotional connections between lover and beloved and emotion is illogical.
If you really care to understand, you'll go out into the world and put yourself in a vulnerable position and see what happens. You're slowly showing us you're not as tough as you try to argue you are so I hope you try to understand this for yourself someday.
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Thanatos10
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Re: Relationships [Re: cez]
#22324515 - 10/02/15 04:22 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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But if it's illogical then why do people do it?
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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DividedQuantum
Outer Head


Registered: 12/06/13
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Quote:
Thanatos10 said: But if it's illogical then why do people do it?
You kidding? Isn't most human behavior totally illogical? It is quite illogical in itself to say that people won't do things because they are illogical.
-------------------- Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici
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Thanatos10
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I don't think so. I just don't understand why people are so obsessed over it. Is it just because they want to justify those initial feelings of lust and passion? Or is it simply for companionship? Isn't it a liability
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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cez

Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 5,854
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Companionship. You aren't mature enough to understand yet imo because you've admitted in another post that you haven't come to terms with your sexuality.
When you embrace yourself, I imagine you will attempt to embrace others.
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Thanatos10
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Re: Relationships [Re: cez]
#22324709 - 10/02/15 05:09 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
cez said: Companionship. You aren't mature enough to understand yet imo because you've admitted in another post that you haven't come to terms with your sexuality.
When you embrace yourself, I imagine you will attempt to embrace others.
Actually I got over that already. I just accepted it as something that is, nothing more.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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cez

Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 5,854
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How is it possible for someone who is gay, who honestly wants to love another man, but at the same time find the entire notion "wrong"?
Your op...So you accepted that it's wrong and that it just is?
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Thanatos10
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Re: Relationships [Re: cez]
#22324790 - 10/02/15 05:25 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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No, not that it's wrong. It's just something that is. Nothing right or wrong about it.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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Thanatos10
Stranger



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Also I don't think it's a matter of maturity. For some people a relationship is just dead weight. My past relationships felt that way.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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cez

Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 5,854
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Your past relationships were in conflict with your true desires if we go back to your op in the other thread so that might be why they felt like dead weight.
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BrendanFlock
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Re: Relationships [Re: cez]
#22338315 - 10/05/15 07:48 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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I have a few reasons..
Things naturally flow when you have things in common or that each person finds something appealing about the other..could be extreme sexual attraction...a certain peace of mind achieved by interacting with the person..Could be an epitome of an ideal that someone holds(Gold in alchemy) like the archetype of the Hero or Heroin(not necessarily the drug unless that appeals to one or more of the parties involved..: LOL). Maybe one person is in a powerful position..A messiah in control of deep psychic forces..or maybe it is the complete Opposite..sometimes people fall for the evil side of a person in that it is a Villain archetype..or maybe someone who abuses their power...
Most of time there is a reason for the attraction..you can always speculate on why people are together..and see if you can find the logic...Sometimes its just for the benefits that come with being with someone..could be sex or riches for example...as a way of making one of their lives easier to live..
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DividedQuantum
Outer Head


Registered: 12/06/13
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Could you expand upon what you mean by "A messiah in control of deep psychic forces"? This is intriguing to me...
-------------------- Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici
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Tropism
ChasingTail


Registered: 09/12/09
Posts: 2,039
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Quote:
Thanatos10 said: But if it's illogical then why do people do it?
It's nice to go to sleep and wake up with someone, for starters.
Quote:
Thanatos10 said: Also I don't think it's a matter of maturity. For some people a relationship is just dead weight. My past relationships felt that way.
Relationships, alike life, only give back what is put in. Some of the best sex-advice I ever got was "You're only as good as your partner", and I think this stands analogously as relationship advice as well.
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circastes
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Re: Relationships [Re: Tropism]
#22339623 - 10/06/15 03:48 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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I feel so alone in bed at night.
Got mah eyes on two chicks in town at the moment.
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
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Tropism
ChasingTail


Registered: 09/12/09
Posts: 2,039
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I hope at least one has their eye on you.
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Kickle
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Registered: 12/16/06
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Quote:
Thanatos10 said: I'm mostly referring to the romantic sort this time.
For those of you in one, what is it like? How did you meet? How could you tell you wanted to be with this person? I want to understand the reason people decide to enter into this sort of thing.
Huh. What is it like as compared to...? Being single? Well the dynamic involves two people instead of one. The nature of that dynamic seems to be dependent on the two people involved. Heck sometimes it involves more than two people. For me that usually means I try to be conscientious of the other persons' needs. Emotional, physical, spiritual. Note that I say conscientious of but do not say responsible for. At the end of the day it's a solo journey.
How could I tell that I wanted to be with her? Well physical attraction initially. I was young and on the prowl. I had my sights on several women and pursued all of them. Timing along with circumstances lent towards me spending far more time with her than others. And it was enjoyable. Over time as I came to know her better, trust settled in. After trust, deeper engagement. After deeper engagement, more trust. And eventually the relationships with others started to pale in comparison and so they were dropped.
Many of our core values align, e.g. no kids. And over the years there have been many mutual benefits. Financial as well as emotional and spiritual. Much of what I have learned from her, over time, is what she came with from her upbringing. And while some is useful, some is not. And similarly true in that way is what I bring. So over time we have cherry picked what works from one anothers' offering and created something more versatile than before for ourselves. IME a relationship is as much a learning experience as anything.
And I've remained thus far because of the many benefits and seldom downsides. The biggest downside is when my physical libido gets rearing and I want to go mate with someone else. Biology has it's role there and isn't something I think should be denied. Not necessarily acted upon either. But acknowledged and addressed in some manner. Being in a single-partner relationship requires, as with all things I have found in life, some navigating of pushes and pulls. But a good relationship is like a good work environment in that it is fulfilling, rewarding, and engaging.
-------------------- Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain
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Jokeshopbeard
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Registered: 11/30/11
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Re: Relationships [Re: Kickle]
#22347000 - 10/07/15 07:07 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Amazing post Kickle, I think you sum the whole thing up beautifully. I particularly like this bit:
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Kickle said: So over time we have cherry picked what works from one anothers' offering and created something more versatile than before for ourselves.
How many years were you guys together before this phenomenon starting to become noticable?
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Kickle said: The biggest downside is when my physical libido gets rearing and I want to go mate with someone else.
I empathise with you very deeply in this regard, this is always the biggest kicker for me. I had to go through quite a process after getting married and committing myself to the same mate for the rest of my life!!
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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