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Macey Howard
Formally MOE HOWARD



Registered: 07/02/99
Posts: 14,165
Loc: Georgia
Last seen: 7 years, 4 months
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And then the Kid yells: MaMa.... I don't umberstand my titty nipples 3
#22318449 - 10/01/15 10:36 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Here we go!
I'm in big lots shopping my ass off because they had a sale trying to dump all their summer shit. I'm wading my way thru people hoarding 2 shopping carts full of sale items.
I walk down one aisle and catch a girl shuffling loads of merchandise down her bra. She looks up at me, and resumes the theft. I turn around to get the bath towels I was eying and the girl told me that I had big enough boobs to hide them and walk out.
I just said "oh, ok" and moved on. God damn.
I go to the electronics section and there are 3 guys wearing headphones that appeared to be spanking new. The opened packaging was still in the vicinity. Christ.
*My mental trumpets blaring* Enters a lady with a dump truck gut and two tons of butt. She walked gracefully through the aisles munching on merchandise that obviously wasn't paid for. I swear to god I was going to pull the fire alarm pull station because her legs rubbed down past her knees. I wanted to put a fire extinguisher on a gold chain and give it to her as a gift.
If she saw a Golden Corral sign her pants would catch fire from her running.
She was sooooo faaaaaaaat.
She was so fat, all I could do was pray for her.
Bitch had back titties. Ok. Ok. That's enough. --- ----- She left a trail of water when she walked because her shoes were crying.
Ok. That's enough. I promise.
So her Jr fat son looks at this inflatable kiddie pool thing.
Yells: MaMa.... I don't umberstand my titty nipples. Why does boys got dem? Is I gonna have babies like you?
The whole store stopped. I heard people dropping shit while laughing.
It's time for me to stop visiting shit hole parts of town to save a buck.
-------------------- Hugs and Kisses!
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LobsterSauce


Registered: 11/09/08
Posts: 19,884
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Re: And then the Kid yells: MaMa.... I don't umberstand my titty nipples [Re: Macey Howard]
#22318509 - 10/01/15 10:48 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Macey Howard said: Here we go!
I'm in big lots shopping my ass off because they had a sale trying to dump all their summer shit. I'm wading my way thru people hoarding 2 shopping carts full of sale items.
I walk down one aisle and catch a girl shuffling loads of merchandise down her bra. She looks up at me, and resumes the theft. I turn around to get the bath towels I was eying and the girl told me that I had big enough boobs to hide them and walk out.
I just said "oh, ok" and moved on. God damn.
I go to the electronics section and there are 3 guys wearing headphones that appeared to be spanking new. The opened packaging was still in the vicinity. Christ.
*My mental trumpets blaring* Enters a lady with a dump truck gut and two tons of butt. She walked gracefully through the aisles munching on merchandise that obviously wasn't paid for. I swear to god I was going to pull the fire alarm pull station because her legs rubbed down past her knees. I wanted to put a fire extinguisher on a gold chain and give it to her as a gift.
If she saw a Golden Corral sign her pants would catch fire from her running.
She was sooooo faaaaaaaat.
She was so fat, all I could do was pray for her.
Bitch had back titties. Ok. Ok. That's enough. --- ----- She left a trail of water when she walked because her shoes were crying.
Ok. That's enough. I promise.
So her Jr fat son looks at this inflatable kiddie pool thing.
Yells: MaMa.... I don't umberstand my titty nipples. Why does boys got dem? Is I gonna have babies like you?
The whole store stopped. I heard people dropping shit while laughing.
It's time for me to stop visiting shit hole parts of town to save a buck.
Haha, I would love to see something like that.
Was this in malwart by any chance?
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PabloSumgie
Stranger

Registered: 08/20/15
Posts: 84
Last seen: 8 years, 3 months
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Re: And then the Kid yells: MaMa.... I don't umberstand my titty nipples [Re: LobsterSauce]
#22318611 - 10/01/15 11:08 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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This isn't funny per say but I took my girlfriend to a nice restaurant once and were sitting there eating talking and a couple with there young son(like 5-6) come in and sit down. They order and were all just doing our own thing. Halfway through there meal the kid stands up on his chair and just yells MOMMY I COULD MURDER MYSELF RIGHT NOW. Whole restaurant quite. Just like WTF. The weirdest thing I've ever seen a kid do. Like creepy weird. Just thought Id throw that in there.
-------------------- Alright then, picture this if you will: 10 to 2 AM, X, Yogi DMT, and a box of Krispy Kremes, in my "need to know" post, just outside of Area 51. Contemplating the whole "chosen people" thing with just a flaming stealth banana split the sky like one would hope but never really expect to see in a place like this. Cutting right angle donuts on a dime and stopping right at my Birkenstocks, and me yelping... Holy fucking shit!
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memes
Blessed



Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: And then the Kid yells: MaMa.... I don't umberstand my titty nipples [Re: Macey Howard]
#22318615 - 10/01/15 11:09 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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thank you so much for all that Macey.
please, i'll eat that shit up any time you wanna throw it out there
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Le_Canard
The Duk Abides


Registered: 05/16/03
Posts: 94,392
Loc: Earthfarm 1
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Re: And then the Kid yells: MaMa.... I don't umberstand my titty nipples [Re: Macey Howard]
#22318663 - 10/01/15 11:21 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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You're braver than I, going into Walmart like you do.
Edited by Le_Canard (10/01/15 10:11 PM)
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OhMrJohnson
Ashes Against The Grain

Registered: 01/12/14
Posts: 17,544
Loc: Terra Incognita
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Re: And then the Kid yells: MaMa.... I don't umberstand my titty nipples [Re: Macey Howard]
#22318752 - 10/01/15 11:40 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Your stories are always so awesome
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Diminish the sub-principle and leave its toxic trace.. Once and for all!
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Achillita
Back to the basics



Registered: 05/26/14
Posts: 4,565
Last seen: 3 years, 10 days
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Re: And then the Kid yells: MaMa.... I don't umberstand my titty nipples [Re: OhMrJohnson]
#22318769 - 10/01/15 11:44 AM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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My nephew thought his nipppes were "boo-boos" and made my mom put bandaids on them so he'd be happy.
These are questions kids gotta know
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Panda89
Kung fu panda


Registered: 11/12/14
Posts: 97
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Re: And then the Kid yells: MaMa.... I don't umberstand my titty nipples [Re: Achillita]
#22319803 - 10/01/15 03:58 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Rofl thank you for the laugh.
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ReposadoXochipilli
Here, there, inbetween



Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 7,501
Loc: Sand and sunshine
Last seen: 19 days, 22 hours
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Re: And then the Kid yells: MaMa.... I don't umberstand my titty nipples [Re: Achillita]
#22320072 - 10/01/15 05:11 PM (8 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Achillita said:
My nephew thought his nipppes were "boo-boos" and made my mom put bandaids on them so he'd be happy.
These are questions kids gotta know 
some one was kissing momma's boo boo's to make em feel better har har
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