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Anonymous #1

How to control rage and anger? Please and Thank you.
    #22311114 - 09/29/15 09:35 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

For as long as I can remember I have had a very bad temper. Even as a very young child I believe I acted out a lot more aggressively than others. I would get into physical fights with others on the playground. Throughout middle school & high school I was suspended nearly every year-mostly due to fighting. I have gotten in more than two handfuls of fist fights with other students, siblings, people I didn't know, & so on.

I, unfortunately, feel like I cannot control my anger. When I do get angry I yell, shout, curse, & make threats. I also punch & kick doors. I have punched holes in walls in the past but now I resort mostly to punching/kicking doors, couches, or beds. Some very recent examples that I can think of off the top of my head:

-During a meal last week, someone opened up a 2 liter soda & it exploded all over the plates & some of the food. I immediately started cursing & yelling at this person. They removed themselves from the table & started crying in their own domain.
-On an online auction website I was charged a $45 fee for a transaction that fell through. When I found out I still had been charged a fee even though the item never sold I began shouting & almost screaming. I then started kicking doors & punching a futon mattress. I was also yelling that I was going to kill this person that was responsible for the deal falling through & causing me the $45 fee.

I really need to get control of my anger but it is very hard for me to do so. I'm like a loose cannon. It is very much effecting the people around me but in the moment nothing matters to me. I am a very depressed person but when I get angry I explode in rage almost instantly. Please can anyone give me any tips/suggestions/advice on how to control my anger. Also if you could please share some experiences that you may have had in the past & how you learned how to control this negative emotion, I would greatly appreciate that as well.

Thank you for taking your time to read my thread. Have a good night.

edit: For the past 2 years or so I have stopped taking my anti-depression medication. I do not like taking medications. I feel as if I should be my own doctor & get better on my own, not through medication. I realize this may be considered a warped way of thinking. Also, for the past almost month I have stopped using drugs altogether. I used to be a 2-4 times a day, pretty much everyday marijuana smoker for close to a decade. I was also using LSD or mushrooms every week for a little over a year.


Edited by Anonymous (09/29/15 09:44 PM)


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Invisiblefilthyknees
no coincidence
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Registered: 03/08/13
Posts: 6,283
Re: How to control rage and anger? Please and Thank you. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22312636 - 09/30/15 06:53 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

I make gardens and patios. Lots of digging, for hours, then shoveling into trucks, unloading, tamping dirt, mulching. Bagging thousands of pounds of sand, shoveling 2 inch gravel for a half a day, laying concrete pavers and hammering them into place.

I just work hard and find that when I do I don't have the energy to get mad about some dumb ass shit that doesn't matter.


you're kicking doors and futon mattresses? you tried smoking a joint? try 2.

edit: wow daily weed smoker? must be shitty weed if youre doing that shit LOL

you made someone cry over spilling soda? wtf is your motivation there?

more seriously though seek professional help. Being not a violent/angry person nothing pisses me off more than have some idiot yell - I fucking hate yelling - it solves nothing and does what for the person yelling? idk? makes them thing they're teaching someone a lesson? :lmafo:

I would say you are stressing YOURSELF out and probably taking years off your life - so for your own sake and everyone elses chill the fuck out


--------------------
But if you're in a hurry, and really got to go
If you're in a hurry, might have to find out slow
That it's one thing to try and another to fly
You get there quicker just a step at a time
It's one thing to bark, another to bite
The show ain't over till you pack up at night


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Anonymous #1

Re: How to control rage and anger? Please and Thank you. [Re: filthyknees]
    #22312811 - 09/30/15 07:55 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

As I said, I don't smoke weed anymore. Maybe someday I will again but for now I'm trying not to. The weed in question. No, not shitty. Just liked being high most of the time I guess you could say...

Thanks for the "advice". I guess?

Peace out.


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Invisiblefilthyknees
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Posts: 6,283
Re: How to control rage and anger? Please and Thank you. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22312823 - 09/30/15 07:58 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

if you missed my 'advice' find a positive outlet for your energy.

positive or negative you choose

simple enough(?)



--------------------
But if you're in a hurry, and really got to go
If you're in a hurry, might have to find out slow
That it's one thing to try and another to fly
You get there quicker just a step at a time
It's one thing to bark, another to bite
The show ain't over till you pack up at night


Edited by filthyknees (09/30/15 08:04 AM)


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Anonymous #1

Re: How to control rage and anger? Please and Thank you. [Re: filthyknees]
    #22312858 - 09/30/15 08:05 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Thank you. I'm going to go out today. Bye.


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OfflineGoldenEye
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Re: How to control rage and anger? Please and Thank you. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22312917 - 09/30/15 08:24 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

He's angry at you filthyknees.


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Invisiblefilthyknees
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Re: How to control rage and anger? Please and Thank you. [Re: GoldenEye]
    #22312980 - 09/30/15 08:44 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

your post made me think of a question

is your anger gone if you're by yourself all day?

does it come up from inside or

is it something you can point your finger to outside?

I'm posting in a light hearted manner but I know anger is serious.
for instance if OP was threatening to kill someone and kicking things in public and a copper happened to be in sight  :justdontknow:


Edited by filthyknees (09/30/15 08:47 AM)


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Anonymous #1

Re: How to control rage and anger? Please and Thank you. [Re: filthyknees]
    #22313099 - 09/30/15 09:18 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

filthyknees, there is no anger if I am by myself all day & have no interaction with others wether it be in person or over the phone/computer/etc. Only if I think about something that went wrong in the past then I will become slightly angered but not nearly as bad as when the actual incident that I'm think of happened. I'm not even sure if angry in that case (thinking about past events that went wrong) would be the correct term. Maybe more frustration? But most of the time these past thoughts will just make me even more depressed than I already am.

I am a lot more depressed than I am angry. I don't offer anything to a conversation unless I am directly asked a question or something that requires a response from me. I find it very difficult to look at family members-especially my father. I have not had any friends in the past 5 years or so nor have I had relationship with the opposite sex or even actual sex. It's very difficult for me to be social. I think that one of the main factors is lack of confidence.


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Offlinehex_enduction
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Re: How to control rage and anger? Please and Thank you. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22314342 - 09/30/15 02:08 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Jesus dude, that's rough. I really wish I had some specific advice to offer, but honestly it seems like you're gonna have to make some serious life changes. Change everything about your life, try everything you can think of, I figure eventually something will have to stick. If your lifestyle isn't rewarding you with any enjoyment, then the worst thing you can do is keep up the same habits for years.

I hope any of that makes sense, I'm not pretending to be a psychiatrist and I know I can't articulate my thoughts for shit. Really hope things look up for you.

Out of curiosity, has your mental health improved at all since you quit drugs last month? Has it worsened? I'm asking because I'm contemplating quitting drugs myself in effort to improve my mental health.

Unfortunately, a lot of things that you've said resonate with me. I don't know exactly what you're going through, but I suffer from similarly crippling depression and some pretty brutal anger issues (for example, last month I broke my right hand punching a fucking cinderblock wall after my girlfriend hung up on me in an argument :facepalm:) and I can see myself in your shoes (ie. complete social isolation) a few years from now. No offense, but I want to do whatever I can to avoid that reality.


--------------------


Connoisseur said:
oh ive cried on drugs

sunshine said:
Tragic.  I told the cop not to do it but he didn't listen.


Edited by hex_enduction (09/30/15 03:20 PM)


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Anonymous #1

Re: How to control rage and anger? Please and Thank you. [Re: hex_enduction]
    #22314652 - 09/30/15 03:12 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Hi hex. how are you doing today?

One important change I'm going to make is I am planning on going to college when I get things situated where I currently live. I am overdue with that but it's better late than never. I have relocated nearly 10 times in my life (mostly out of state each time) & have lived in over 10 different residences so far. I quit my job a couple weeks ago & no longer am able to make money with my small side business so with all that being said I really need to get a new job soon. Luckily I have quite a bit of money saved up.

I work out nearly 5 times a week. I also walk & ride my bike at least once every other day. I guess I actually do care about my physical appearance. Not that I have body builder physique but I'd say I'm in pretty good shape. I wouldn't consider myself an unattractive person but I've never once been in a real romantic relationship. A few "relationships" in middle school but I'm not counting those obviously...

I have never been good at anything I've done in life wether it be playing guitar, skateboarding, art, sports, etc. Everything I have taken an interest in I've been pretty mediocre at. I guess because I get discouraged easily when I don't see any progress over a period of time. I'm on & off with my hobbies.

Do you suggest trying to find a new hobby or do something I've never done before? Do I need to literally force myself to do things even though I don't want to? What are some things that you have done that have helped you in the past? Any further tips, advice, suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

To be quite honest with you hex, I do not see any improvement in my mental health since I quit using drugs. A lot of times throughout the day it's all I can think about in that moment-using drugs... I know I can if I choose to but I'm trying hard not to. I have never really cared for drinking alcohol but I now crave it more than I ever have (before I stopped using drugs). I was never addicted to anything or used any "hardcore" drugs-heroin, meth, crack/cocaine, etc. My drugs of choice were weed, psychedelics, and the occasional amphetamines. I really liked the thought process & state of mind that psychedelics gave me-mostly mushrooms although for some reason I think I like LSD better than mushrooms. Don't get me wrong I very much enjoy the visual aspect of psychedelics but I was totally wrapped up in my thoughts & trying to figure things out when I was on mushrooms or LSD. I can't say that I used psychedelics entirely for recreational purposes, or to "have fun!" I also was using them pretty frequently. Once every week for over a year, then after that time span it was once every two weeks. Then after once every two weeks I felt like it was getting too much for me to handle so obviously now I'm not using them.

I hate feeling sorry for myself & being depressed but at the same time I don't know how to get out of this depression because it is all I'm used to now. I have been like this for several years now. It started in about jr. high school & has gotten worse ever since. Do I need to fake being happy? I have never thought about committing suicide but sometimes I just get so fed up with life events, having to keep jobs I despise, having to make an income, that I just want to give up & be homeless by choice & travel so I don't have to constantly worry & try to juggle all of those things I mentioned. Then again being homeless probably wouldn't be any better... maybe even worse... it's just, again, my warped way of thinking...

I know I'm in absolutely no position to be giving advice, look at me... I'm the one who made this thread but try not to get to the point where you're isolated from the outside world & have literally zero friends. It is not fun. It'll only make the depression way worse. The only people that I sometimes talk to are family members, I don't have many, & people like you-fellow Shroomery members.

Have a good day hex_enduction. I thank you for responding to this thread. I greatly appreciate it. I hope to hear back from you sometime.


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Offlinehex_enduction
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Re: How to control rage and anger? Please and Thank you. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22314834 - 09/30/15 03:47 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

I'm doing alright today, better than yesterday anyway. Still I had to cancel a mescaline trip I had planned with my friends today on account of bad set and setting (just been so depressed and anxious lately I didn't wanna risk it, it just doesn't seem I'm in the right state of mind to try such an amazing new substance).

Do you have any genuine interests or passions, regardless if it's anything you're good at? I think the only continuous interest I've had throughout my life that continues to reward me on some level no matter how bad things get is music, so I spend as much time as I possibly can listening to or playing music. I don't think I'm a very talented musician despite how much time I've put into it, but I still try and work at it as much as I can because it's honestly the only thing that really brings me any joy, or at the very least consistent satisfaction. I don't know if you have anything similar, but if you do, it'd be worth pursuing.

As far as forcing yourself to do things you don't want to, it might be worth a shot in some cases. Obviously don't do something that you know is going to be noticeably unpleasant or uncomfortable, but opening up to things you never would have considered doing in the past can be rewarding. I'm sure you're familiar with the expression "fake it til you make it". It could really be anything; even becoming a vagabond like you suggested. As long as you have a little bit of cash saved to fall back on, it might be an interesting life experience at the very least.

Maybe consider taking a job in another country, who knows if it'll do fuck all to make things better but it can't be much worse than your current situation, can it? That's the way I see it anyway, and it's why I'm planning on getting a job teaching English somewhere in Taiwan or China once (at this point, if) I get my degree. Obviously this might not be your thing, but I'm just putting it out there because it's something I've been considering.

Take everything I say with a grain of salt. I'm in no position to recommend anything; I'm young, broke, and have little life experience or success with dealing with my own problems. Just wanna help however I can.

I really appreciate the response. Hope any of this post is helpful in some way


--------------------


Connoisseur said:
oh ive cried on drugs

sunshine said:
Tragic.  I told the cop not to do it but he didn't listen.


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OfflineLove_spirit
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Re: How to control rage and anger? Please and Thank you. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22314898 - 09/30/15 03:56 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

It's just energy. There's nothing wrong with screaming or hitting walls. Get some weights and convert that energy to make yourself stronger. You'll have more confidence. When I was young and angry I put that energy into making music, eventually I could play in any gigging band. Groupies will suck your dick. Work on yourself first and eventually the woman will come without trying. You have unlimited potential, dont tell yourself you need talent.


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