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 Fletcher
Registered: 06/14/15
Posts: 679
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 Re: Borderline Personality Disorder  [Re: spixce]
#22306279 - 09/29/15 01:46 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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You might have better results in the physical and mental well being section.
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 spixce
Up, Up & Away
Registered: 06/29/13
Posts: 4,451
Loc: AZ 
Last seen: 7 years, 6 months
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BPD is horrible. Its a constant fear that everyone is gonna abandon me, I also feel empty inside constantly and I extremely overreact to everything and I'm so unstable like the smallest thing can set me off. My self esteem goes in between way too high and way too low all the time.
Yeah maybe the drugs aren't healthy but I'd rather take the drugs than deal with this illness.
I also have Bipolar 1(the combination of BPD and Bipolar is hell), Anxiety, OCD and ADHD. I NEED these drugs to function. Or else I'd be unable to take care of myself.
I do exercise daily and it helps but exercise alone isn't enough in my case.
These drugs saved my life, especially opiates. The Zyprexa is also working very well.
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite
Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,071
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Re: Borderline Personality Disorder [Re: spixce]
#22306305 - 09/29/15 01:58 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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 You're probably not long for this world should you keep that up.
I am 100% sure that if you learned to have a healthy lifestyle, eliminated negative influences in your life, and got your drug use under control your situation would improve.
Lots of people find that emotional problems get better with age, but not if you're not learning to cope.
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sunkeep
Stranger
Registered: 07/21/15
Posts: 76
Last seen: 8 years, 6 months
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Re: Borderline Personality Disorder [Re: spixce]
#22306308 - 09/29/15 02:00 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
spixce said:
I just was asking if anyone else here struggled with BPD. I didn't ask for conspiracy theory nonsense...
Not sure what exactly it is but I do have problems with substance and alcohol abuse, I practice unsafe sex with multiple partners and I cheat (a lot), sometimes I drive recklessly like I just risk it and step on the gas, I spend a lot of money on shit I don't need at all just because I have the cash in my pocket.
Fuck I engage in business deals with people then suddenly decide I'm not comfortable with this and just avoid them, not answering emails and phone calls. Same with friends, I'd suddenly start avoiding them not picking up the phone when they just want to get together and drink/smoke etc. Same thing with jobs, I can't hold a regular job for more than a couple of months.
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WhyDidiDoThis
Bay Area Mushroom Collector
Registered: 11/26/14
Posts: 3,338
Last seen: 6 years, 4 months
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Re: Borderline Personality Disorder [Re: spixce]
#22306311 - 09/29/15 02:02 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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You need those drugs, because the effects of withdrawls, will make your conditions even worse.
But when you build a tolerance to the drugs, and you feel the way you do, even when you take them.. you must realize, it only masks the problem.
They solve nothing.
They solve no chemical imbalances.
Your brain is nothing more than electric neurons. Firing.
Simple as electricity.
Watch the things you eat, care for your people, and work out.
The drugs will get you nowhere in trying to solve this.
And note, these arent diseases that cant go away like HIV.
These are nothing more than your state of mind. The more you convince yourself these things wont go away, will they ever go away?
Convince yourself you can get rid of it.
After all, depression is ultimately self destructive thoughts about ourself that we believe. Regardless if its true or not.
So just, free yourself brother. Dont limit.
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,703
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Re: Borderline Personality Disorder [Re: spixce] 1
#22306324 - 09/29/15 02:10 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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BPD is horrible indeed, as it severely impacts your social functioning. Often much more vehemently than other psychiatric conditions. My girlfriend works as a nurse in a psychiatric hospital and the people with BPD are generally the most difficult ones to deal with. The reason is that people with BPD can come across as extremely manipulative and unpleasant, but they still need to receive the care that they're in the institution for. For caregivers, this can be hard, as at some point it's really a struggle to not let the BPD-induced behavior cloud the patient-caregiver relationship.
spixce, disregard the nonsense that it's all fake and it doesn't exist. Sure, there will be cases, particularly in the US, that are mistakenly diagnosed and/or over-prescribed, but that doesn't change that conditions such as BPD, Bipolar and schizophrenia are very real. Also, medication does help in virtually all cases to some extent, but there's no magic bullet - not a pill, and nothing in the alternative spectrum is a sure-fire way to get rid of this, as you're generally stuck with it for life. This sucks badly, and the only thing that does seem to help a bit is to try and live a stable life, be careful in times of stress and reach out for professional help whenever your situation deteriorates periodically.
The above sounds harsh, but I'm sure it's nothing new to you. It's also not a disqualification of you as a person - far from it. I hope it'll help you see that at least some of us understand the seriousness of what you're going through. Feel free to reach out for the people here who will help you to see things from a different perspective at the times when you notice your perception may be biased by your ailments. I can imagine it helps (even if it's only a little bit) to hear from others that people aren't (nearly) always out to harm you or to leave you. Obviously, these things happen to some extent to everyone, but that's different from living with the constant fear that they will. I hope you'll find many ways to deal with the situations where you may hurt people to get them to show that they care about you, and to find the trust (albeit only on a rational level and not always on an emotional one) that at least some people do care about you regardless of your BPD and bipolar.
I feel for you and I think it's a shame that there are still so many who deny the seriousness of these conditions.
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spixce
Up, Up & Away
Registered: 06/29/13
Posts: 4,451
Loc: AZ
Last seen: 7 years, 6 months
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Re: Borderline Personality Disorder [Re: koraks]
#22306340 - 09/29/15 02:21 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
koraks said:
BPD is horrible indeed, as it severely impacts your social functioning. Often much more vehemently than other psychiatric conditions. My girlfriend works as a nurse in a psychiatric hospital and the people with BPD are generally the most difficult ones to deal with. The reason is that people with BPD can come across as extremely manipulative and unpleasant, but they still need to receive the care that they're in the institution for. For caregivers, this can be hard, as at some point it's really a struggle to not let the BPD-induced behavior cloud the patient-caregiver relationship.
spixce, disregard the nonsense that it's all fake and it doesn't exist. Sure, there will be cases, particularly in the US, that are mistakenly diagnosed and/or over-prescribed, but that doesn't change that conditions such as BPD, Bipolar and schizophrenia are very real. Also, medication does help in virtually all cases to some extent, but there's no magic bullet - not a pill, and nothing in the alternative spectrum is a sure-fire way to get rid of this, as you're generally stuck with it for life. This sucks badly, and the only thing that does seem to help a bit is to try and live a stable life, be careful in times of stress and reach out for professional help whenever your situation deteriorates periodically.
The above sounds harsh, but I'm sure it's nothing new to you. It's also not a disqualification of you as a person - far from it. I hope it'll help you see that at least some of us understand the seriousness of what you're going through. Feel free to reach out for the people here who will help you to see things from a different perspective at the times when you notice your perception may be biased by your ailments. I can imagine it helps (even if it's only a little bit) to hear from others that people aren't (nearly) always out to harm you or to leave you. Obviously, these things happen to some extent to everyone, but that's different from living with the constant fear that they will. I hope you'll find many ways to deal with the situations where you may hurt people to get them to show that they care about you, and to find the trust (albeit only on a rational level and not always on an emotional one) that at least some people do care about you regardless of your BPD and bipolar.
I feel for you and I think it's a shame that there are still so many who deny the seriousness of these conditions.
It just sucks because I just can't function like a normal person without drugs. I always feel like I'm homesick for a place that doesn't exist.
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WhyDidiDoThis
Bay Area Mushroom Collector
Registered: 11/26/14
Posts: 3,338
Last seen: 6 years, 4 months
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Re: Borderline Personality Disorder [Re: koraks]
#22306341 - 09/29/15 02:22 AM (8 years, 6 months ago) |
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Cognitive behavioral therapy is the best line of offense for BPD and most other mental conditions.
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WhyDidiDoThis
Bay Area Mushroom Collector
Registered: 11/26/14
Posts: 3,338
Last seen: 6 years, 4 months
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Drugs come 2nd to last. Its the easy way out. Masking issues. Nit solving anything.
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spixce
Up, Up & Away
Registered: 06/29/13
Posts: 4,451
Loc: AZ
Last seen: 7 years, 6 months
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Quote:
TORCUTT said:
Cognitive behavioral therapy is the best line of offense for BPD and most other mental conditions.
I'll look into it but the zyprexa is helping alot. I'm gonna ask my doc in increase the dosage because 5mg isn't enough. I think 10mg would be good for me. This shit doesn't even make me sleepy just relaxed and in a good mood. Sorta like xanax but "heavier" and a lil bit trippy.
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specialpeopleclub
Registered: 04/10/14
Posts: 5,584
Loc: Mitten
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
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Quote:
TORCUTT said:
Quote:
specialpeopleclub said:
That is easy to say, but controling said thoughts for benafit is another
Just takes practice. You have the right to think.(whateber you want) Dont think about it just do it.
You don't really contrpll your thoughts. If younthink that, you are ignorant as fuck.
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WhyDidiDoThis
Bay Area Mushroom Collector
Registered: 11/26/14
Posts: 3,338
Last seen: 6 years, 4 months
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Quote:
specialpeopleclub said:
Quote:
TORCUTT said:
Quote:
specialpeopleclub said:
That is easy to say, but controling said thoughts for benafit is another
Just takes practice. You have the right to think.(whateber you want) Dont think about it just do it.
You don't really contrpll your thoughts. If younthink that, you are ignorant as fuck.
Speak for your own self please.
On the other hand, you're correct.
We dont dictate thiught, our emotion does.
Our current emotion dictates the thoughts we think at any given time.
So withiut control of emotion, we have no control of thought.
Though with a balance of emotion, and being able to maintain balance, we can maintain any thought process desired.
To think you cannot control your ownself, is "ignorant as fuck"
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WhyDidiDoThis
Bay Area Mushroom Collector
Registered: 11/26/14
Posts: 3,338
Last seen: 6 years, 4 months
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specialpeopleclub
Registered: 04/10/14
Posts: 5,584
Loc: Mitten
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
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Im not sure how much we, whafever 'we' are in our head, controls anything. a=We seem to be able, to some extent, to control our actions, but do we? What are we? Our biology controls everything, so are our actiions really a choice? Even ones with no emotion attatched
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abltsandwich
JFK = Jelly Donut
Registered: 06/16/09
Posts: 11,537
Loc: Dildoville
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Do you believe that we have free will?
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WhyDidiDoThis
Bay Area Mushroom Collector
Registered: 11/26/14
Posts: 3,338
Last seen: 6 years, 4 months
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Quote:
specialpeopleclub said:
Im not sure how much we, whafever 'we' are in our head, controls anything. a=We seem to be able, to some extent, to control our actions, but do we? What are we? Our biology controls everything, so are our actiions really a choice? Even ones with no emotion attatched
The state of no emotion is called contempt. And its an emotion in itself. Emotion controls thought. Always. Happy comes happy thoughts, angry comes angry thoughts, sad comes sad thoughts.. so on and so forth brother.. you wont be thinking happy thoughts in an emotion of anger. Nor will you be thinking of humor in an emotion of anxiousness.
Now, to he able to stop feeling anger, when we want, to switch our feelings off and on when desired is real. I do it day to day. Monks are a master of it. In turn they can control themselves amd their bodies, down to the cell. Being able to light the, selves on fire and feel no oain. To slow their heart rate to sleep for 3 months straight...
Free will. Thats us. Unless your will is under the influence of some other way of thinking, that goes, you cant think for yourself, is just a part of the plot to keep us dumb. On a mass level. Via TV and drugs, music and so forth.
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WhyDidiDoThis
Bay Area Mushroom Collector
Registered: 11/26/14
Posts: 3,338
Last seen: 6 years, 4 months
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WE ARE NEVER NOT IN CONTROL.
To think we cant control ourselves, is insane.
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spixce
Up, Up & Away
Registered: 06/29/13
Posts: 4,451
Loc: AZ
Last seen: 7 years, 6 months
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Quote:
TORCUTT said:
Drugs come 2nd to last. Its the easy way out. Masking issues. Nit solving anything.
You have no idea what its like to have BPD. This disorder ruined my life, when I was in first grade I was at like an 8th grade level. I could have been anything I wanted. I was a very smart and happy kid but I developed these mental problems at age 11. I was suicidal at 12, I'd like to see you walk a mile in my shoes. You don't know me at all so don't judge me. BPD can't be cured. Therapy and all that bullshit never helped me as a teen so what makes you think it'd help now. The only reason I haven't put a bullet in my head is my girl. She's the only thing that makes my life worth living.
Opiates, Benzos, Zyprexa and the occasional MDMA and Adderall help me so much.
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite
Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,071
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This is starting to remind me of Bitter Cactus's rants denying the existence of anxiety.
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Shroomslip
Architekt
Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,681
Last seen: 10 hours, 10 minutes
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I was just about to say basically the same thing. We got rid of Bitter Cactus but got this guy to replace him before BC's official departure. I never really noticed him before just a few weeks ago.  I've even pointed out this phenomenon before (where anytime we get rid of one person they are always replaced by another who fills their shoes, even if the two overlap for a bit).
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With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.
You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
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