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I feel calm and collected this morning. I feel basically liberated to think whatever I want and not have any worries. Classes start on Monday. I'm looking forward to it. I want to get straight A's.
Now, I know there are an assload of potential mood pitfalls waiting for me today, just like every day. I have an annoying tendency to fall into one and start dwelling on things which are almost always out of my control. I'm too sensitive to the concept of Right and Wrong.
I will easily start to feel like I'm going about something the wrong way and I will let the thought drag me down. I feel I could block these feelings out completely, but I'm afraid I will also lose some constructive suggestions I'm giving myself. But the more I think about it, I can't think of how worrying like that has actually helped me in any way. I'm always coming back to square one.
I guess I've gotten it in my head that by dwelling on these things I'm somehow going to solve them like puzzles... but there is no answer. It's a reoccuring thought process that rapes me of my day.
I want to try and block it out, sever that worrying, over-analyzing part of myself. But it might seem like severing an arm or a leg. I'm very personalized with myself. I feel like I will be lost without it but maybe that's what I'm aiming for.
I think I'll start writing down every negative thought I have in an attempt to somehow externalize it and get it out of my system... Anyways, thanks for reading.
First negative thought: "You're crazy if you think you'll hold onto this motivation the entire day."
or "You'll GO crazy if you try and hold onto this motivation all day."
hehe I have a problem with worrying as well. A few helpful things I have come to realize is that worrying is essentially, well - a mistake. To worry implies that you know everything about the situation you are worrying about. This hubris will cause or could lead to failure.
In a universe where everything is infinitely complex, there is no way our minds could understand and know every detail about any situation. Therefore, worrying is a waste of time, energy and is also bad for your heart.
-------------------- You are the microcosm of the macrocosm.
Try to just let all the negative thoughts go, and just let yourself make instinctual decisions. Give yourself a really soft road to walk on, and just let it all go from there. The past week or so ive been a lot more chilled out than i was the previous months, its been nice for me to feel so relaxed. I do still have a week before classes start, im sure its gonna hit me too. But just try to know that this is probably what hampered you the last semeseter. But all in all, im usually in the same shoes you are, just foget about it, it no important!