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topdog82
Death Spirit



Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 7,992
Loc: California
Last seen: 5 months, 2 days
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I love all of you 1
#22290595 - 09/25/15 10:19 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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If I never made an account on the shroomery, I would have never found or experienced the wonderful experiences that I now have.
From maybe elementary school till now, my life has been tragedy after tragedy. And each time, struggling to rebuild myself in the transition periods. Many, many times in my life I have taken to suicide as a realistic answer to my problems. Being so miserable that you want to kill yourself is a horrible feeling
Without the shroomery, I wouldn't have stumbled upon a series of books that would ultimately change my life. I would have continued to date a mindless woman and the downward spiral would have continued. I would have continued to have heavy use of amphetamines. I would have continued to spend hours a day staring at a wall wondering if the misery would end. I would have shot myself or worse, continue to live in the depressive fog that I was in. I dont even want to know where I would be if I didn't begin reading books like "heart of buddha's teaching", "roaring silence", and "advaita vedanta"
This past life "phase" has pushed me to my last brink. Being diagnosed with a terminal illness at my young age (20's) is not pleasant at all. Being bedridden and exhausted while trying to maintain a normal life is even harder. Somehow, by nothing short of a miracle, the right medical approach pulled me out of this. And now, I am in the last phases of treatment. Somehow, I am alive
This is the fourth or fifth time I have had to rebuild myself back up. While I am "bummed" I had to experience this, I am almost proud of the fact that I never considered buying a gun. I never had fantasies/daydreams of taking barbiturates and overdosing. For the first time in my life, I am managed to stay strong and maintain my clarity of mind. For the first time in my life, suicide was not the most realistic answer to my issues
I began to meditate one day 2-3 years ago (guiding directions from a post on the shroomery). I also picked up a book "the power of now" (which was a book suggestion someone on the shroomery posted). And 1 week later, huge changes began to trickle in every area of life. From that point forth, my life did a complete 180. Little did I know, that the gradual path to slowly end a majority of my suffering would begin. I dumped my gf. I was able to quit amphetamines. I was able to have a full nights rest
Words cannot begin to even express the peace that I am learning to find in every moment. Words cannot express the value of the teachings this forum has directed me to. I don't even think most of the posters in this "spirituality and mysticism" subforum realize it, but a handful of posts you guys made has permenantly changed me for the better
I love the shroomery, for it has given me one of the greatest gifts of all; the ability to find peace and joy, no matter how tiny, in every moment. It has given me the ability to sometimes even be able to smile in the face of utter adversity
I love you all!

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topdog82
Death Spirit



Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 7,992
Loc: California
Last seen: 5 months, 2 days
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Re: I love all of you [Re: topdog82]
#22290607 - 09/25/15 10:21 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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If any of this doesnt make sense or there are typos, I apologize. I am coming down off 4acomet and just oozing with empathy, love and gratitude. Hopefully in the next few months or so I will be 100% healthy. As of now, it is not a matter of if, but a matter of "when". I can't wait to start from scratch all over again. This time, stronger and wiser
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once in a lifetime
sun child



Registered: 02/12/15
Posts: 1,807
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Re: I love all of you [Re: topdog82]
#22292754 - 09/26/15 10:35 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I love you too Top-Dog ;
Am just a random particle traveling through space! hehe. . .
Am just a lover of nature FULL OF GRACE. . .
am just a humble bug - WITH A LOVE of life.
and happy little fellow haha am tall and short! ! !
and I m just havin' my coffee but I just wanted to say -
from one person with Light in his heart to another -
Thank you so much. . . for this light - it is a drop of the sun, to me -
Each person who fills their heart with Light becomes like that. . . at least to me -
A droplet of Light, of golden light of the sun - so that's what I got. . .
Especially these lines
Words cannot begin to even express the peace that I am learning to find in every moment.
And for me, all this beauty & love & magic is almost humdrum! ! ! hehehe
What I mean is - I go to heaven with a glad smile - but it is common! ! hehe
Annnnnnnnnnyway Thank you again - and. . . well, you know!
Recently I was going to post a thread 'I love the shroomery' too. .
I came with already that peace - my path was letting people know, lol I am at peace and in Pure Land already ! !
Yet Shroomery still had this enhancing aspect of it to me - and it has been wonderful, beautiful adventure -
And I also learned about many new things, and made many wonderful friends as well, so those were the reasons that
I love the Shroomery too
Mine has been thru the trials of fire too my dear brother 
And I wanted to simply say - am sending you lots of joy - strength - hope -
And may you succeed always, etc. & etc.
Power & peace to you - faith and good health,
Last night before sleep I had the passing thought, 'Good health to all kind of like, a variant on - peace to everybody, or happiness to everyone, etc. ..
Anywho. . . just wanted to say some of that and . . . now am gonna go check out what else is going on. . .
Peace & light 
&, thank you again for this post. . . truly was going to post a thread of gratitude to all of the good folk here myself recently ( The good ones, that is hehe. . . okkkkkkkkay even the other ones . . . hehe )
well, all are good - if they simply believe it, lol. . .
Love, y'all. Love. Light. Not fight. Hehe.
Peace!
-------------------- Innocent, Oldfield & Hegerland Julia Delaney, Bothy Band Rasta Girl, Sister Carol Genesis, Jorma K I Wish You Peace, Lawrence Laughing Do Your Thing, Moondog large . . music garden . . veryall peace them hiStarhouse - main Time Traveler's Guide
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topdog82
Death Spirit



Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 7,992
Loc: California
Last seen: 5 months, 2 days
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Quote:
once in a lifetime said: I love you too Top-Dog ;
Am just a random particle traveling through space! hehe. . .
Am just a lover of nature FULL OF GRACE. . .
am just a humble bug - WITH A LOVE of life.
and happy little fellow haha am tall and short! ! !
and I m just havin' my coffee but I just wanted to say -
from one person with Light in his heart to another -
Thank you so much. . . for this light - it is a drop of the sun, to me -
Each person who fills their heart with Light becomes like that. . . at least to me -
A droplet of Light, of golden light of the sun - so that's what I got. . .
Especially these lines
Words cannot begin to even express the peace that I am learning to find in every moment.
And for me, all this beauty & love & magic is almost humdrum! ! ! hehehe
What I mean is - I go to heaven with a glad smile - but it is common! ! hehe
Annnnnnnnnnyway Thank you again - and. . . well, you know!
Recently I was going to post a thread 'I love the shroomery' too. .
I came with already that peace - my path was letting people know, lol I am at peace and in Pure Land already ! !
Yet Shroomery still had this enhancing aspect of it to me - and it has been wonderful, beautiful adventure -
And I also learned about many new things, and made many wonderful friends as well, so those were the reasons that
I love the Shroomery too
Mine has been thru the trials of fire too my dear brother 
And I wanted to simply say - am sending you lots of joy - strength - hope -
And may you succeed always, etc. & etc.
Power & peace to you - faith and good health,
Last night before sleep I had the passing thought, 'Good health to all kind of like, a variant on - peace to everybody, or happiness to everyone, etc. ..
Anywho. . . just wanted to say some of that and . . . now am gonna go check out what else is going on. . .
Peace & light 
&, thank you again for this post. . . truly was going to post a thread of gratitude to all of the good folk here myself recently ( The good ones, that is hehe. . . okkkkkkkkay even the other ones . . . hehe )
well, all are good - if they simply believe it, lol. . .
Love, y'all. Love. Light. Not fight. Hehe.
Peace!
 
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PocketLady



Registered: 01/18/10
Posts: 1,773
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Re: I love all of you [Re: topdog82]
#22293927 - 09/26/15 02:33 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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-------------------- Love is from the infinite, and will remain until eternity. The seeker of love escapes the chains of birth and death. Tomorrow, when resurrection comes, The heart that is not in love will fail the test. ~ Rumi The day we start giving Love instead of seeking Love, we will have re-written our whole destiny. ~ Swami Chinmayanada Saraswatir
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