Not sure where to put this... I'm a new mwmber, and I'd like to share my "origin story"!
I live in the far north of the world. Northern Norway to be more precise. I do mushrooms a few times a year. This is the only drug I use, and of course the occational top-up with beer, which I brew myself.
I wish to share with you my first experience with mushrooms. Psilocybe Semilanceata is the easiest to come by, and is generally thought to be quite potent up here at 69°N... Wheter it holds water or not, I got out there anyhow.
Back in 2006 I worked at a pub. I was as many pubworkers prone to have more than the occational beer. So there was alot of alcohol, and generally anything I could shove in my face. Speed and prescription drugs went down the gobbler as fast as I could get my hands on it. I never paid for any of it, (which doesn't make any difference, but it did at the time, for me, made me "better than") I was lucky to have a good friend who always was in plentiful supply, and I say this with a little bit of sarcasm. Naturally it almost got out of hand, and if it had'nt been for my friend and his brilliant gift, a bag of dried mushrooms, who knows.
He came to me in the kitchen at work one autumn evening. With him, a plastic bag. It was a 30gram bag of dried mushroom. He gave it to me, and suggested I tried some with a friend, and pointed out "Not alone!". I politely thanked him, and all I could think of was SHITFACE TIME! I had no experience with psychedelics, nor did I read up on it.
As I had no clue on dosage or anything about the matter, I tried 5-6 mushrooms one night, expecting great things. Squat happened. Did I educate myself more before next try? Absolutely not. In hindsight, I probably should have, but I am glad I didn't.
A good few weeks later I would try again. I was in my bedroom, a basement apartment in my mothers house. I was listening to music and preparing myself. I decided to do 1/4 of the bag, that ought to do the trick.
I made my cup of tea, and steeped the quarter bag, which would be around 7,5g. Drank it, and ate the mushrooms from the cup. I would hate to not get it right this time. Now, being accustomed to amphetamines and their swiftness to set in, I was getting impatient. It was t+10min. Here comes the problem with the part about not reading up.
Eager to get trip going, I repeated the previous step, convinced I didn't take a proper dose the first time. Quarter more bag in the cup. And ate the mushrooms. t+15
Now I'm at t+25, and I'm beginning to wonder what kind of garbage I was given, because it must have been crap, it's not working.
Thinking "Screw this, I'll get another bag some other day to take with my friend!". I emptied the remaining 15g into my presspot, added water and tea, drank it up and forked down the mushrooms, literally.
I've always wanted full flavour, and gone full throttle on most things. Speed I did in a gram per nostril no matter the potency. One pill of anything could never be adequate either.
Then suddenly things start to happen. I'm in front of the computer, and the monitor starts turning pink, suddenly bursting into a bright fuzzy pink, breathing and vibrating like crazy. The music I was listening to also appeared to play backwards. I ate som snacks, but it was uncomfortable because it felt like it was falling straight through my mouth. So there I sat, with my hand under my chin, trying to fetch the falling snacks.
I don'remember too much of the trip, not now, not then, only moments when I partially came to my senses. I remember screaming into a closet full of old jackets. I remember thinking I had pissed myself because I was wet, but that was from a shower I had, for reasons not known to me. I saw a snake when I dropped the belt of my bathtrobe. Other than moments, I remember only a few longer episodes.
An hour or so later I got ill to my stomach, so I had a "minor" regurgitation. As I sat in front of the toilet, curtains of pitch black nothingness came down around me and my tongue arched from my mouth down towards the toilet, and all the mushrooms came marching out in troops. It was'nt frighteneing, I still managed to make myself understand that it was my mind that caused these images because I happened to ingest a few mushrooms.
It was eight, nine hours of complete, incomprehensible madness, and I am glad I was alone. I was never afraid, that I can remember. It was so intense that I missed most of the afterglow and contemplating grace. I was so exhausted that I fell asleep surprisingly fast after hitting the bed.
It changed me though. No drug aside mushrooms apply to me anymore. I remember before I went to sleep, that I was in utter awe of what I just experienced. I'm a normal guy, with normal interests, but with a newfound (well, then) very deep respect for my own mind.
I don't think I'll do a dose like that again. I dub it a Legendary dose. These days my doses are 1,5-3g, and I up the anti a little bit when I want to go further than just relaxing.
Ego death? I don't know, I don't really know what I am to pin to that statement. I feel like me. A more patient, less selfish, more open minded me, yet more critical to my, and other's, perceptions on any account.
Right now I'm sipping down a 2.5g dose. Take care people
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