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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Ever socialised with yourself? 1
#22285725 - 09/24/15 07:34 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I had this moment (well, about 20 minutes) at the end of my last trip. I had a friend and his wife over for dinner and they had just left. I don't recall feeling lonely (I was tripping pretty hard) but I know that's been my feeling when friends have left my house recently since my wife has been in rehab (2.5 months left!), so it might explain why this happened. Perhaps just coincidence of timing.
I grabbed a fresh beer, turned the music up, and then stood in a mirror in the hallway socialising with myself. Never done that before. Didn't really do it on purpose either, just happened. Mostly the mirror is for usual kinda checking stuff. But this was like actually imagining what it would be like if I was hanging out with me. I thought 'yeah, I'd really like that guy'. Wanted to give myself a hug. It was a real special time.
And since that time on Sunday; I've felt something different. I can't quite put my finger on it yet but it's like a much greater level of self acceptance. Really amazing.
Anybody ever had anything like that?
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Kurt
Thinker, blinker, writer, typer.

Registered: 11/26/14
Posts: 1,688
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Nah, just the old doctor Jeckle, Mr. Hyde routine for me so far. 
I guess we have to look at our image and maybe learn to think we don't greet someone there...checking around, watching geometric symmetries or something. We are our own biggest critics, eh?
Maybe it's cool to really and sincerely say hey dude! at least once in a while. Yeah, that's pretty awesome 
And it reminds me, I could use some mushrooms
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head



Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 8,781
Loc: straya
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
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lol! This is a bit strange. Personally never done that... though on shrooms I've got mixed up talking to myself (in my head)/imagining conversations.
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
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deff
just love everyone



Registered: 05/01/04
Posts: 9,406
Loc: clarity
Last seen: 15 minutes, 38 seconds
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sounds like quite a positive healing experience for you
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jahrastafareye
Outcarcerated



Registered: 10/16/13
Posts: 1,898
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Re: Ever socialised with yourself? [Re: deff]
#22286121 - 09/24/15 09:11 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Im in love with a man. A man called me. Does that make me gay? Am I gay for myself? You betcha. Lol
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once in a lifetime
sun child



Registered: 02/12/15
Posts: 1,807
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A few times in my life I've gone even up to 6 months with hardly glancing in the mirror once - just sort of became a habit for me, certainly kept showering LoL; but had no interest really otherwise. .
Yeah, I can say I've done a couple times, what you reminded me of most was when something like that happened on an acid trip, with a look. . just kind of noticed the divinity, I recognized myself as Pan for that moment. .
then you go on. . . just wait. . . get older, b'coz I was too young lol . . hehe
lololol now my cat has jumped up on the desk where she's not supposed to be so I put her in my lap . . . young funny kitten; she loves the flashlight sitting there, it's kinda nice but I gotta remember they have extra-sensitive vision ..
and, my lovely cat. . . she's Pan too for sure. . . and it feels like it right now. . . I often think of how they perceive a lot more of the world than I do, in so many ways. . .
it's nice. . . to be new. am i - are we new? hehe a interesting question
ok I'm going to golden dream of light hopefully. . like last night - that was nice - i forgot to ask if anyone had that last night; so I thought I would here. . .
nooo, not the ashtray! lol i gotta have mercy
whoooa, cat, what are you doin' in there? cobwebs. . I guess i shoulda turned off the light sooner.
-------------------- Innocent, Oldfield & Hegerland Julia Delaney, Bothy Band Rasta Girl, Sister Carol Genesis, Jorma K I Wish You Peace, Lawrence Laughing Do Your Thing, Moondog large . . music garden . . veryall peace them hiStarhouse - main Time Traveler's Guide
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MarkostheGnostic
Elder



Registered: 12/09/99
Posts: 14,279
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 2 days
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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, And so am I.
-------------------- γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
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withoutlabel
Stranger

Registered: 06/09/15
Posts: 33
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
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Isn't everyone me?
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head



Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 8,781
Loc: straya
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
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Re: Ever socialised with yourself? [Re: withoutlabel]
#22287059 - 09/25/15 04:06 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Well yeah.
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
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GoldenEye
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Registered: 05/24/13
Posts: 4,340
Loc: Amsterdam
Last seen: 6 months, 19 days
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Re: Ever socialised with yourself? [Re: circastes]
#22287132 - 09/25/15 05:05 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I did that before. Feels good doesn't it? Looking at oneself while tripping is a must at some point or another.
Tuesday I had another variety of this. I was on quite a bit of LSD and I ended up taking selfies with the front camera of my phone until my battery died.
It started as a sort of obsessive investigation of how different I could look in each and every one of them. It later turned into taking the best one.
After about an hour of doing this I had an epiphany and realised that they were all awesome. That all of them were worthy. That I was worthy. No matter how silly, ugly, stupid.
Wham. New level of self acceptance reached.
I literally stopped giving a fuck about anything, right there and then.

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Turtletotem
Dutch Delight



Registered: 09/02/13
Posts: 3,763
Last seen: 4 years, 11 months
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Re: Ever socialised with yourself? [Re: GoldenEye]
#22287354 - 09/25/15 07:30 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I've seen myself walk by a few times. I tend to ignore myself, tho.
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once in a lifetime
sun child



Registered: 02/12/15
Posts: 1,807
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Re: Ever socialised with yourself? [Re: Turtletotem]
#22287489 - 09/25/15 08:22 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I like that, Turtle. btw did you paint that -it's utterly beyond beautiful.
GoldenEye; very cool. Growing up I had a slight self-image type of thing, normal for people in our day and time, I think. . . as I grew older and it became less & less important, until it was basically nothing, and as free as I felt, I definitely have tried to share this on occasion; especially for women, to know. . . that's just not important! If you are intelligent, kind, cultivate & good heart, that is almost infinitely more valuable to most guys, at least more & more guys, it seems to be. . . It's an eternal tide I am sure, of our culture, sometimes more in one direction & sometimes more in the other, so that's just another thing - you create culture - you! So spend a good while in reflection & choose good culture to create. 
hehe
Yay Shroomery hehe
-------------------- Innocent, Oldfield & Hegerland Julia Delaney, Bothy Band Rasta Girl, Sister Carol Genesis, Jorma K I Wish You Peace, Lawrence Laughing Do Your Thing, Moondog large . . music garden . . veryall peace them hiStarhouse - main Time Traveler's Guide
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Turtletotem
Dutch Delight



Registered: 09/02/13
Posts: 3,763
Last seen: 4 years, 11 months
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Quote:
once in a lifetime said: I like that, Turtle. btw did you paint that -it's utterly beyond beautiful.
Yay Shroomery hehe
I wish! I stole it from somewhere. It has a lot of significance to me, though. I've got it hanging in my living room as well!
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Universaleyeni
Friend



Registered: 04/18/13
Posts: 528
Loc: Fl
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
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Re: Ever socialised with yourself? [Re: circastes] 1
#22287615 - 09/25/15 09:21 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
withoutlabel said: Isn't everyone me?
Quote:
circastes said: Well yeah.
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MarkostheGnostic
Elder



Registered: 12/09/99
Posts: 14,279
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 2 days
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Re: Ever socialised with yourself? [Re: Turtletotem]
#22287979 - 09/25/15 11:22 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Turtletotem said: I've seen myself walk by a few times. I tend to ignore myself, tho.
In the early 70s when I started to trip in college, the thing was not to look at yourself in the mirror, like when you went to the dorm's bathrooms. It was like a forbidden thing to look at yourself because it was supposed to bring one's ego-involvement into the trip. I realized it was no great sin but there was a new perspective and sometimes, like you say, a new acceptance or appreciation for one's image. There were all kinds of urban legends about seeing horrible distortions and responding to them with horror. Nah. The whole legend reminded me of the most memorable episode of the TV show Route 66 from 1961 which is definitely worth watching even if you're not familiar with that cool show from the early 60s. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0818418/reviews
-------------------- γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
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GoldenEye
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Registered: 05/24/13
Posts: 4,340
Loc: Amsterdam
Last seen: 6 months, 19 days
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To be fair, the scary distortions are not an urban legend. I have found that as long as I stare at myself without blinking I will start to distort. But if I move or blink, I'll immediately snap out of it. So if it gets scary it's easy to shake it off.
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once in a lifetime
sun child



Registered: 02/12/15
Posts: 1,807
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The question is -
Do you care about other people, or only yourself?

In other words, do you actually put it into action - selflessness - etc.
or do you just live in a mansion, etc.
it's all good tho;
but still - ya let's grow.
& not the dominating others bit, that's been played to death.
-------------------- Innocent, Oldfield & Hegerland Julia Delaney, Bothy Band Rasta Girl, Sister Carol Genesis, Jorma K I Wish You Peace, Lawrence Laughing Do Your Thing, Moondog large . . music garden . . veryall peace them hiStarhouse - main Time Traveler's Guide
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MarkostheGnostic
Elder



Registered: 12/09/99
Posts: 14,279
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 2 days
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Re: Ever socialised with yourself? [Re: GoldenEye]
#22288298 - 09/25/15 12:53 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
GoldenEye said: To be fair, the scary distortions are not an urban legend. I have found that as long as I stare at myself without blinking I will start to distort. But if I move or blink, I'll immediately snap out of it. So if it gets scary it's easy to shake it off.
I suppose one could explore the unconscious desire to want to see ugliness or projected aging. Maybe even glean some insight into Body Dysmorphic Disorder, or a perversely masochistic desire to cause oneself to feel psychological pain. People become very suggestible under psychedelics (Charlie Manson used this with his family), but the more pertinent question would be why create something negative unless there is a positive outcome from it? For example, using the psychedelic experience to come to terms with old age, sickness and death, the sources of suffering according to Buddhism, with enhanced ability to visualize. Otherwise, something else is going on.
This is related to something Ram Dass said long ago about people who are attracted to horror films. I was as a kid, but now I couldn't get through season 2 of American Horror Story, even on 2 attempts. Ram Dass said something to the effect that people may be unconsciously attracted to Hell Realms! I am not attracted to the emotion of horror and do not enjoy seeing portrayals of hideous entities rending human beings. I tend to think of horror as terror + disgust. The original 1951 film The Thing From Another World, starring James Arness as the alien, used to elicit terror from me as a kid. The music alone was scary. The 1982 remake, The Thing, elicited true horror in me even as an adult (particularly when the German Shepherd was trying to escape through a chain-link fence when killed and possessed by the tentacled entity )
It's all a matter of what psychological conditions we continuously choose to cultivate in our psyches that shapes our development. In actual life, I can transcend disgust if and when I have had to. I read that Saint Teresa of Avila felt compelled to humiliate herself with disgust (truly a pathological condition), and she recorded that she put her lips to a wad of sputum/snot that someone had spat on the ground. I think scaring ourselves with horrid distortions may also be a masochistic thing.
-------------------- γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
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once in a lifetime
sun child



Registered: 02/12/15
Posts: 1,807
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Why would you want to? You mentioned Tolle's idea of the pain-body; that's pretty much the main cause of it. Anyway, it's good that you're not into horror films anymore friend. People think it's all thrill and fun - I've come to realize that our main issues are from a fascination with that type of thing. . .
I never could - as sensitive as my nature is, to the energies and the rest, more so than Shelley, yet far more resilient. . . being able to strengthen oneself & self-mastery. . .
follow the golden path, so to speak. . .
Anyway - the confusing thing was - why do people like that LOL
Anyway - have a Wonderful Day.
PEACE.
-------------------- Innocent, Oldfield & Hegerland Julia Delaney, Bothy Band Rasta Girl, Sister Carol Genesis, Jorma K I Wish You Peace, Lawrence Laughing Do Your Thing, Moondog large . . music garden . . veryall peace them hiStarhouse - main Time Traveler's Guide
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GoldenEye
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Registered: 05/24/13
Posts: 4,340
Loc: Amsterdam
Last seen: 6 months, 19 days
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It's a bit too random to be masochistic I think. It can range from utterly rotten flesh melting from the skull reflections to heavenly angelic falling in love with myself reflections within the same trip. All I have to do is blink and stare, blink and stare, blink and stare... I really like looking in the mirror, it's one of the most mind blowing aspects of tripping if you ask me.
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