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OfflineManianFHS
living in perverty
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Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 14,741
Last seen: 1 hour, 10 minutes
Waiting in line to jizzn a cup, what r u up to
    #22283764 - 09/24/15 12:50 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Giving ma sperm to the bank to hold on to. They're preppin the room for me now :naughty:

Weird coincidence I used to work with the girl who is collecting my sperm, at a completely different job years ago


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


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OfflineShroomslip
Architekt
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 1 hour, 30 minutes
Re: Waiting in line to jizzn a cup, what r u up to [Re: ManianFH]
    #22283774 - 09/24/15 12:52 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Ask for help.



--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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OfflineDilsnique
Admiral Admirable
Male User Gallery

Registered: 04/22/14
Posts: 3,800
Loc: Netherworld
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
Re: Waiting in line to jizzn a cup, what r u up to [Re: ManianFH]
    #22283780 - 09/24/15 12:53 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Ask her to assist you in your specimen collecting

Dammit Shroomslip, you too quick on the draw


Edited by Dilsnique (09/24/15 12:53 PM)


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OfflineLuSiD enthusiast
Stranger

Registered: 03/14/13
Posts: 4,325
Last seen: 4 years, 9 months
Re: Waiting in line to jizzn a cup, what r u up to [Re: ManianFH] * 1
    #22283797 - 09/24/15 12:56 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

mick said:
Giving ma sperm to the bank to hold on to. They're preppin the room for me now :naughty:

Weird coincidence I used to work with the girl who is collecting my sperm, at a completely different job years ago



Did she collect your sperm years ago when you knew her?:naughty:

Wait :itsatrap:, she may be collecting it for a dna test if she did years ago and might be trying to get you to father some bastard kid. Tread carefully op.

Also how is there no graemlin of admiral ackbar saying "ITS A TRAP".I need to figure out how to make them or a gif of it, this site could use more star wars graems. (am i using the term graemlin correctly here? )


--------------------
I'm addicted to coke, weed, booze, ludes and speed.
Not LSD, you can't get addicted to LSD, it was built by scientists.

I ain't got no demons that gonna get woke.


In erowid we trust.

Just take your damn pills and don't ask any questions, you'll be fine.


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OfflineReposadoXochipilli
Here, there, inbetween
Male User Gallery


Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 7,501
Loc: Sand and sunshine
Last seen: 19 days, 19 hours
Re: Waiting in line to jizzn a cup, what r u up to [Re: LuSiD enthusiast]
    #22284059 - 09/24/15 01:50 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

there used to be an its a trap one but they rotate through them as they get stale i think.


cum, the spice of life.


--------------------


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OfflineEnvix
Avoidant Disorder
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Registered: 11/04/08
Posts: 18,206
Last seen: 9 months, 25 days
Re: Waiting in line to jizzn a cup, what r u up to [Re: ManianFH]
    #22284071 - 09/24/15 01:53 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

i can see you're living the life, mick. how's the rest of your week been goin?


--------------------
smack a hoe out this dimension
continue my ascension
-bhad bhabie

rip. todcasil, acid sloth, st1llnox, zappaisgod, big worm (sketch), tim b


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InvisibleCapers
Man About Town
Male

Registered: 08/15/10
Posts: 16,199
Loc: United States Flag
Re: Waiting in line to jizzn a cup, what r u up to [Re: ManianFH]
    #22284284 - 09/24/15 02:41 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

How do they decide that you're worthy to donate sperm? Do the women choosing which donor they want get to know all the details about the donor?


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InvisibleSheekle
FREE BURKE
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Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
Re: Waiting in line to jizzn a cup, what r u up to [Re: Capers]
    #22284291 - 09/24/15 02:42 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Capers said:
How do they decide that you're worthy to donate sperm? Do the women choosing which donor they want get to know all the details about the donor?



u have to have a certain level of qualifications nd stuff


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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OfflineShroomslip
Architekt
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 1 hour, 30 minutes
Re: Waiting in line to jizzn a cup, what r u up to [Re: Capers]
    #22284293 - 09/24/15 02:43 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

They have it on a system that judges it by consistency. It ranges from milk to uncooked scrambled eggs. The more gloopy, the more potent.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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InvisibleCapers
Man About Town
Male

Registered: 08/15/10
Posts: 16,199
Loc: United States Flag
Re: Waiting in line to jizzn a cup, what r u up to [Re: Shroomslip]
    #22284311 - 09/24/15 02:45 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Yeah, but don't the women seek out the best physical and mental qualities in male donors? Potency of the semen aside, do the ladies get information on the donors' job, education, looks, height, weight, etc.?


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Offlinemakaveli8x8
Stranger
Male User Gallery
Registered: 02/28/06
Posts: 21,636
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
Re: Waiting in line to jizzn a cup, what r u up to [Re: ManianFH]
    #22284322 - 09/24/15 02:48 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

tell her you have arthritis in your hands and you require her medical assistance


--------------------
We were sent to hell for eternity :hellfire: Ø:omgawesome:h®
We play on earth to pass the time :foreheadslap:

Over-population the root of all Evil-brings the Elites Closer to the gates.


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InvisibleSheekle
FREE BURKE
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Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
Re: Waiting in line to jizzn a cup, what r u up to [Re: Capers]
    #22284515 - 09/24/15 03:39 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

you must pass a ton of criteria to donate sperm in the first place, im pretty sure its anonymouse from there though


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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Offlinexbloodwhipx

Registered: 02/24/12
Posts: 12,791
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
Re: Waiting in line to jizzn a cup, what r u up to [Re: Sheekle] * 1
    #22284522 - 09/24/15 03:41 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Did you get any help OP?


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OfflineGorlax
Male


Registered: 05/06/08
Posts: 6,695
Last seen: 16 days, 19 hours
Re: Waiting in line to jizzn a cup, what r u up to [Re: Sheekle]
    #22284576 - 09/24/15 03:59 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Yeah you have to be qualified first. Most only allow college educate males. You have to pass multiple physicals and exams and they can choose exactly who they want to pick based on characteristics given. It's not like they just have a baby with random jizz lmao. That could end up with a black baby like that lesbian couple haha


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OfflineManianFHS
living in perverty
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Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 14,741
Last seen: 1 hour, 10 minutes
Re: Waiting in line to jizzn a cup, what r u up to [Re: Gorlax]
    #22286302 - 09/24/15 10:07 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

i had to sign all this paperwork but didnt really read it so yeah maybe theyre gonna give my sperm to a bunch of different people. thats weird thinking that i could have a random kid out there who is best friends with gorlaxes future son. and no she didnt help haha. actually it kinda sucks u have to rub one out dry to not get other fluids in the cup. no spit, nothing. have u ever jerked it dry? not especially comfortable

the sperm is supppposda be for my wife. Im just loading up the vault for her


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineManianFHS
living in perverty
 User Gallery

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 14,741
Last seen: 1 hour, 10 minutes
Re: Waiting in line to jizzn a cup, what r u up to [Re: Envix]
    #22286307 - 09/24/15 10:08 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Envix said:
i can see you're living the life, mick. how's the rest of your week been goin?




going great my good sir how about you?


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


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Offlinexbloodwhipx

Registered: 02/24/12
Posts: 12,791
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
Re: Waiting in line to jizzn a cup, what r u up to [Re: ManianFH]
    #22286405 - 09/24/15 10:32 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

mick said:
i had to sign all this paperwork but didnt really read it so yeah maybe theyre gonna give my sperm to a bunch of different people. thats weird thinking that i could have a random kid out there who is best friends with gorlaxes future son. and no she didnt help haha. actually it kinda sucks u have to rub one out dry to not get other fluids in the cup. no spit, nothing. have u ever jerked it dry? not especially comfortable

the sperm is supppposda be for my wife. Im just loading up the vault for her




Wait, no lube? I bet that burns :eek:


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OfflineShroomslip
Architekt
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 1 hour, 30 minutes
Re: Waiting in line to jizzn a cup, what r u up to [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #22286421 - 09/24/15 10:35 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

How do people have trouble jerking it with no lube?


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleSheekle
FREE BURKE
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Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
Re: Waiting in line to jizzn a cup, what r u up to [Re: Shroomslip]
    #22286442 - 09/24/15 10:39 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Unless you're uncircumcised it seems pretty hard unless you want to trash your skin


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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OfflineShroomslip
Architekt
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 1 hour, 30 minutes
Re: Waiting in line to jizzn a cup, what r u up to [Re: Sheekle]
    #22286449 - 09/24/15 10:40 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I am circumcised, I do it all the time with no ill-effects.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
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