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rippleinstillwater
If my words did glow...


Registered: 08/15/15
Posts: 40
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
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Anxiety
#22276213 - 09/22/15 08:27 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Who here has anxiety?
I've had social anxiety my whole life, something I think that stems a lot from my childhood, but about a year ago a traumatic incident triggered me very deeply. I went through a period of about 6 months wherein I just isolated myself from pretty much everyone and hula hooped and worked on my book. It was hard for me to go out in public, let alone work, though I did hold a job at this time.
I've since recovered quite a bit and also started dating someone who suffers from anxiety, albeit not at severe as mine. I have panic attacks about 3-4 times a week during bad periods and about once a week during good periods. When I was going through that really tough six months, I had panic attacks multiple times a day.
I'm curious to see if anyone else here suffers from this terrible illness.
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goldcaphunter
EMS Medic



Registered: 07/29/12
Posts: 7,432
Loc: Massachusetts
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
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I have anxiety pretty bad. For a while I was on ativan during the day, halcion and klonopin at night and a handful or various anti psychotics. I stopped taking all of them and the rebound anxiety has been kicking my ass and I dropped the scripts about 6 months ago now.
I admit it got way better when my girl and I were together. Now that we broke up I've been having attacks like crazy and it sucks. I've been self medicating with weed and krratom and decided to order etizolam again. A little disappointed in myself about the etizolam but I'd rather take it for a little while than be completely non functional.
What's your book about?
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  The picture to the far left is a reminder to our users to stay safe and healthy, that's my third open heart surgery due to over use of amps. Stay safe kiddos
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caman
The Sauntering Stranger



Registered: 10/19/14
Posts: 414
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I hate anxiety, I probably still have it although its nowhere near as bad as it used to be. Last time I took LSD I had the thought & then took on the belief " anxiety is a by-product of an overly active imagination" ever since then my anxiety has vastly improved.
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In the province of the mind, what one believes to be true is true or becomes true, within certain limits to be found experientially and experimentally. These limits are further beliefs to be transcended. In the mind, there are no limits.- John C. Lilly
Edited by caman (09/22/15 09:11 PM)
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once in a lifetime
sun child



Registered: 02/12/15
Posts: 1,807
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Re: Anxiety [Re: caman]
#22276662 - 09/22/15 10:10 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I could giva ya a hundred, or ten thousand, wonderful gems - and you'll get 'em too, if you wan'em, and you'll appreciate 'em all the more for having got them . . . & they are there. . . search for the unusual, beautiful gems. . .
but I will just say, & common as plain sight, but be patient. . like I say there are a million, but be patient & have faith in yourself. . spend time & learn how to concentrate, how your energy works & be strong, how to be at perfect health in nature, then perfect peace & etc., in other life would be next & ya, follow your heart, don't worry, but investigate anything you need to and ya if anything arises, be patient, everything passes - everything is new, as well, - and best perhaps is that everything settles. . . life settles out as we grow older, we settle in - but also we choose, & we can experience more settled levels of peace, if that's our wish or goal.
talk to ya, Jake
-------------------- Innocent, Oldfield & Hegerland Julia Delaney, Bothy Band Rasta Girl, Sister Carol Genesis, Jorma K I Wish You Peace, Lawrence Laughing Do Your Thing, Moondog large . . music garden . . veryall peace them hiStarhouse - main Time Traveler's Guide
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Bitter Cactus
reformed bad boy



Registered: 01/26/12
Posts: 11,773
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
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I just made a post about anxiety tell me what you guys think
Anxiety = over avoiding all your fears.
Exposure = root solution to cure anxiety
Medication = temporary crutch to avoid true exposure
Which basically means in order to get over the anxiety, you gotta be overwhelmed with the anxiety for a little bit for it to dip back down.
-------------------- Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.
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goldcaphunter
EMS Medic



Registered: 07/29/12
Posts: 7,432
Loc: Massachusetts
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
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Quote:
Bitter Cactus said: I just made a post about anxiety tell me what you guys think
Anxiety = over avoiding all your fears.
Exposure = root solution to cure anxiety
Medication = temporary crutch to avoid true exposure
Which basically means in order to get over the anxiety, you gotta be overwhelmed with the anxiety for a little bit for it to dip back down.
Very accurate in my opinion!!
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  The picture to the far left is a reminder to our users to stay safe and healthy, that's my third open heart surgery due to over use of amps. Stay safe kiddos
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite



Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
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Welcome back Bitter Cactus. (edit- oh this isn't the pub, is it? ) It's crazy to me you're so successful at coping with anxiety given your medications. I like coffee, but even 2 cups seems like too much for me sometimes.
Also welcome OP!
I would say I have uncomfortable anxiety 90% of the time. 5% of the time it is severe. Once in a while I feel relaxed. Like right before falling asleem, and little bursts here and there.
Drugs sometimes help, but they never get rid of it. I feel like sedatives do cover up some of the most cringe-inducing moments of wanting to crawl out of my skin, but they don't really aid in the easing of the burden that such stress puts on me. Taking a downer will just cover up the feeling, where the damage to my heart and soul will be ignored. That is kinda dangerous.
Weed kinda does help. It will sometimes be anxiety inducing, but it seems more easy to control it, and I am able to do the things I know I need to do to manage my anxiety (mainly I hacky sack alone and go jogging and hiking, sometimes with my dog). I have gotten better at controlling my anxiety as I've got older, but at this rate I really doubt it will ever cease to be a part of me. I've just come to accept it I've been doing my best to make life work anyway.
Edited by moonrockmushy (09/23/15 01:11 AM)
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Bitter Cactus
reformed bad boy



Registered: 01/26/12
Posts: 11,773
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
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Weed is like the worst for anxiety IMO.
-------------------- Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite



Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
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Lot of people find that it helps for a while, then they hit a wall of anxiety. I started using other drugs when I hit this wall, alcohol to smooth out the edges, then opiates. I never really could really handle stimulants that well, but I did my fair share. I liked good cocaine because it was over quick and I would (rarely) feel relaxed after, but no more of that for me please thankyou.
Once I realized how bad opiates are started to smoke a lot more weed again to cope with the symptoms of withdrawal. The anxiety was there, but I powered through that wall in an explosion of defiant potsmoke and on the other side I realized that it was totally manageable using the techniques I learned being a super anxious person since forever.
If only I had learned to manage my anxiety sooner, and realized that it is just something I have to deal with sometimes, I would have never attempted to self-medicate my anxiety. It just wasn't worth it to me, and I'm still suffering from it every day. Weed doesn't fix anxiety, but we've learned to live with eachother. I just smoke tiny bits, and don't let it discourage me from getting out there. For me this is the only drug I have found where this is possible. It doesn't make me feel gross, and allows me to live my life.
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rippleinstillwater
If my words did glow...


Registered: 08/15/15
Posts: 40
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
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Thanks for all of your replies, everyone. Anxiety is a huge part of my life and has been since the mushroom trip when I realized what that edge-of-a-cliff feeling in my stomach was. I don't take any medication aside from the very occasional Xanax (and only .5 of a bar at most) because I honestly don't find it helpful unless I'm in the middle of panic attack. Even then--benzos just shut off my emotions, and make me feel so damn empty. I've contemplated suicide very seriously while on them, because I didn't care about anything. So I stick to weed and chamomile tea and breathing techniques and LOTS of self-care. I don't watch a lot of TV because it triggers me quite easily--images of gore and violence get me bad--and also because the overstimulation of the images and voices just seems cause me more anxiety than it does distract me from it. Even the Internet can do the same sometimes, so I mostly like to read books and hula hoop to cope. I focus a lot on eating well and exercising every day, and that seems to help a lot.
@goldcaphunter: I'm currently working on two novels. One is a YA drama/romance called The Reincarnation of the Tides and the other is a fantasy novel called The Girl Who Cried Lightning. I'll tell you about the latter because that one's more interesting: The main character's mother disappeared when she was thirteen and the main character finds her ten years later--playing drums in a famous rock band. There's a lot to it, but that's the hook :p
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goldcaphunter
EMS Medic



Registered: 07/29/12
Posts: 7,432
Loc: Massachusetts
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
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Sounds like a fun read
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  The picture to the far left is a reminder to our users to stay safe and healthy, that's my third open heart surgery due to over use of amps. Stay safe kiddos
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Bitter Cactus
reformed bad boy



Registered: 01/26/12
Posts: 11,773
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
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I always have said benzos make people boring people IMO.
-------------------- Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.
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kr0nik0
Ole' Salty


Registered: 02/13/12
Posts: 17,756
Loc: Western Slope, CO
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Quote:
rippleinstillwater said: I've since recovered quite a bit and also started dating someone who suffers from anxiety, albeit not at severe as mine.
You guys better give my lady here some good advice, damnit! 

Quote:
Bitter Cactus said: I always have said benzos make people boring people IMO.
How so?
There's a huge difference between people that ingest benzos recreationally and people like myself that take them only when needed on the verge of a panic attack. For me, benzos are more of a safety net...Even when my anxiety is terrible, I don't take any. Only if I'm on the verge of a panic attack I'll dose. I'll only take .25-.5mg's anyways so that's not enough to make me act really any different.
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“[...]the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”
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Bitter Cactus
reformed bad boy



Registered: 01/26/12
Posts: 11,773
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
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People who take benzos every day and are on them all the time are boring people IMO.
-------------------- Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.
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kr0nik0
Ole' Salty


Registered: 02/13/12
Posts: 17,756
Loc: Western Slope, CO
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I haven't known anyone that takes benzos every day since I was a kid. Maybe 19 years old and at that time, people that partook in daily benzos were some crazy motherfuckers. Certainly not boring but not people you'd want to hang out with either.
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“[...]the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,797
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MXE did wonders for my social anxiety. Most of my excessive social worry is gone. My body dysmorphic disorder is gone. I was so afraid and inhibited. MXE challenged me to confront my fears.
I wouldnt do it because I know its inappropriate, but I would feel no social anxiety from walking the streets naked on a hot day. I'm very much at peace with what people may think about my obese body. I care far less about what people think of me in general, not that I care less about them but I realize that an opinion is just, well an opinion. Its something of theirs, not of me and their disapproval doesn't diminish me unless I let it.
I have not gotten antisocial, MXE helped me defeat most of my lifelong social anxiety. It challenged me towards exposure and helped me to successfully complete these exposures and ton derive the correct lessons.
MXE killed my lifelong severe social anxiety
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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JacksonMetaller
Stranger

Registered: 03/13/11
Posts: 13,361
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Re: Anxiety [Re: Asante]
#22279622 - 09/23/15 04:39 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Asante said:
I wouldnt do it because I know its inappropriate, but I would feel no social anxiety from walking the streets naked on a hot day.
Sounds like you would really enjoy a regional burning man event Naked on MXE, you'd fit right in.
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Amanita86
OTD Keymaster


Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
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Are you allowed to get naked at those things?
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Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
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lillFish
Daydreamer



Registered: 01/18/09
Posts: 1,347
Loc: Recliner
Last seen: 10 days, 8 hours
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I have had periods where I went through anxiety issues. I don't understand it because I used to have trouble with it and now I don't... I did relate it to stress, but sometimes I wonder if my diet or gut microbiome has changed. I mean, I can drink copious amounts of coffee in the mornings now and before I was unable to. My diet is not strict, I eat what I want but try to eat in moderation. I have been consuming Kefir and other fermented products and I wasn't doing that before. Also, I don't work out as much as I used to. Those are the only things I can think that have changed. I've been under a lot of stress lately and I don't get anxiety like I did under stress in the past. The past being, last year +...
-------------------- My Wish & Trade list
Edited by lillFish (09/23/15 07:49 PM)
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JacksonMetaller
Stranger

Registered: 03/13/11
Posts: 13,361
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Quote:
Amanita86 said: Are you allowed to get naked at those things?
If you've been you'd know how funny that question is. But yes. Burns are essentially weekend free societies.
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