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Invisibletito123
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Registered: 01/23/10
Posts: 3,006
Telling your parents you love them
    #22272394 - 09/22/15 01:45 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

When's the last time you told your parents that you love them(assuming they're still alive)?  How often do you do it?


When I was growing up I felt that saying "I love you" every morning before school or something was disingenuous. I guess because I was leaving for school and felt rushed more than I felt "in love",
if that makes any sense to you guys.  I also had a pretty bad relationship with my dad and would harbor anger and was very belligerent. 

So now, after growing up, I still rarely say it because it seems so out of the norm in our relationship that it just doesn't feel right, even though I absolutely should and I absolutely love them and they've done a lot for me.
I guess it just feels too real or something.



Anyway, feel free to share your experiences with your parents and family.


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Offlinemy3rdeye
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Registered: 08/10/12
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Re: Telling your parents you love them [Re: tito123]
    #22272520 - 09/22/15 03:24 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I tell my mom i love her after every phone call, dad less often. It just seems awkward with the old man even though we get along fine.
I know lots of people who no longer have the chance to tell their parents they love them  if you know what I mean. So maybe you should say it more because one day you will no longer have that chance and you don't know when that day is going to be.


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InvisiblezZZz
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Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
Re: Telling your parents you love them [Re: tito123]
    #22272540 - 09/22/15 03:39 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

rarely, if not at all..

i try to show it tho rather than tell it, i have trouble opening up in such ways towards anyone. my family, mainly the men, we kind have this thing where we know we love each other and dont really need to say it,

all the guys in our families are the same, we;re not touchy or anything like that, we figure it just makes things awkward.. the women however are the complete opposite, drama queens.. but we give hugs on bdays and such. we're like conservative with our love.


--------------------
https://discord.gg/NHHd5y2Uyv


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OfflineShroomslip
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Registered: 11/25/12
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Re: Telling your parents you love them [Re: tito123] * 1
    #22272566 - 09/22/15 03:54 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Never. I'm going by my actual parents, and not who had custody of me my entire life.

My parents abandoned me long before I could ever remember all the drama over it. My grandparents got custody of me becuase my parents would leave me with him for days at a time while going to party. My mom had me when she was like 15 (almost 16, her birthday is only 8 days from mine) and my father at the time was in his early-mid 20's. My father is/was such a junkie he literally was sitting in the hospital restroom shooting up while my mom was delivering me. Not "oh it'll be okay, she's not giving birth yet".. No. He left in the middle of it to go shoot up. If that doesn't start to set a picture of how much of a shit bag he is, nothing really will.

I do not talk to my dad. Entire family has disowned him. I told him if he ever came here I'd kill him, I dunno if I'd really go that far, but I damn sure would beat the fuck out of him for all the misery he's brought onto people. I don't want to ramble on for a wall of text just on him, just take my word for it, he deserves NO ONE's love. I would not want to give him the impression I give a single shit about him.

My mom and me did not get a long well. Every weekend she'd come take me, I'd come back pissed off, sad and depressed. It wasn't court mandated she get visiting rights, my grandma just gave them to her. Everyone wants to know who their parents are, so I always begged and pleaded to let me go with her. I just wanted my own mother to love me and she did anything but. For the last few years of her life, we'd had maybe one conversation. Really for the last decade the only time we "talked" was when she was calling me up drunk as fuck, slurring the same phrase over and over again because my brother went and did something stupid. It was never "hey how is life going for you" it was just a bunch of "blah blah blah my problems blah blah".

Thing is though, she card. She at least made a half ass attempt to be in my life. My father NEVER did. Still there were tons of bad blood between me and my mother, so I grew up thinking I hated her and didn't care about her. Then one day she died. I realized just how much I really gave a shit. Now I live in regret for not saying all the things I wanted to say but my ego would never allow me to. I did care for her, I just couldn't tolerate her.

From an outside perspective I'm sure people would conclude it would be the same thing if my dad died and I should take the opportunity now, But I really don't care him. I HAVE tried to reconcile with him. It's just not happening. He deserves to die alone and miserable.

tl;dr No. With my mom I knew I cared about her, but never realized how much. I regret not saying it more often and letting my ego get in the way of things. My dad does not deserve it, I know for a fact I truly don't give a shit if he dies tomorrow and I have no connection at all with him, no matter how complicated or strained.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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OfflineJoeP83
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Re: Telling your parents you love them [Re: Shroomslip]
    #22274010 - 09/22/15 01:09 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Pretty much say I love you every phone call. I let her say it first. I'm not always comfortable initiating words of love with my parents. I can say it to my wife all day though. It probably boils down to having a pretty terrible childhood created by a terrible father. Mom just gets lumped into it somehow even though she's been the far better parent between the two of them. Trauma I suppose.


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OfflineReposadoXochipilli
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Re: Telling your parents you love them [Re: JoeP83]
    #22274261 - 09/22/15 02:04 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

i see my mom pretty much daily so i tell her on the regular. father lives far away and we speak maybe 3 times a year?


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Offlinenicechrisman
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Re: Telling your parents you love them [Re: tito123]
    #22274269 - 09/22/15 02:07 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

My dad and are aren't real warm and fuzzy like that, but we hang out a lot, so it goes without saying. I tell my mom I love her probably several times a year.

I'm not a really wordy person, so I don't really tend to express my thoughts and feelings in words real frequently.


--------------------
"Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent:
it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not."

John C. Lily

 


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OfflineThe Moose
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Registered: 08/31/15
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Re: Telling your parents you love them [Re: nicechrisman]
    #22274376 - 09/22/15 02:27 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I always try to. I live far from them so I don't see 'em much.


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InvisibleSirShroomsAlott
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Registered: 05/15/14
Posts: 6,945
Loc: United States Flag
Re: Telling your parents you love them [Re: tito123]
    #22274406 - 09/22/15 02:31 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I can count on one hand how many times my dad has said I love you or gave me a hug.

Not that its a bad thing, it just isn't his style, but he proves it in other ways :awesomenod: so I rarely say it to him because it's just weird at this point.

My mom on the otherhand, I tell her I love her everytime I finish speaking with her, just in case it's the last thing I ever get to say


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