|
WScott
´ ɑ `▽ ᑲᓇᑕ


Registered: 07/31/05
Posts: 5,713
Loc: Nacada
Last seen: 9 months, 16 days
|
Re: Writing a college paper about my LSD trip? [Re: Sheekle]
#22276371 - 09/22/15 09:06 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Sheekle said: don't write a paper about doing acid wtf dude lol
* in English 101 I hope you mean.
--------------------

|
Enables
Stranger
Registered: 08/18/12
Posts: 60
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
|
Re: Writing a college paper about my LSD trip? [Re: DTCharlieB]
#22276379 - 09/22/15 09:07 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
I didn't even read the essay but hell naw don't write about dropping acid for school.
|
Detached
You know where...


Registered: 02/27/15
Posts: 2,942
Last seen: 10 months, 15 days
|
Re: Writing a college paper about my LSD trip? [Re: Enables] 1
#22276391 - 09/22/15 09:10 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
|
ModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE



Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
|
Re: Writing a college paper about my LSD trip? *UPDATED, ESSAY NOW INCLUDED* [Re: dirtyhippie]
#22277675 - 09/23/15 07:36 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Now I say don't do it. You mention doing acid not just once but a handful of times. It's a bit much.
To be clear I would thing a write up on a singular experience tripping would be interesting and acceptable if done well. Here, you keep saying "oh and this other time I did it, this happened"
-------------------- Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?
Edited by ModestMouse (09/23/15 09:06 AM)
|
FrozenHappiness
Professional Cereal Box

Registered: 03/01/01
Posts: 5,330
Loc: Nagoon Lagoon
|
Re: Writing a college paper about my LSD trip? *UPDATED, ESSAY NOW INCLUDED* [Re: ModestMouse] 1
#22278510 - 09/23/15 12:14 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
ModestMouse said: Now I say don't do it. You mention doing acid not just once but a handful of times. It's a bit much.
To be clear I would thing a write up on a singular experience tripping would be interesting and acceptable if done well. Here, you keep saying "oh and this other time I did it, this happened"
This. You mention your first acid experience in your introductory paragraph, and then you blow through it quckly without fleshing it out at all, and then you vaguely mention two other experiences before you jump into describing your most recent experience. This kind of unfocused writing is acceptable on internet forums and personal journals, but it is not adequate for a college paper -- even in english 101.
You need to stay focused on a single topic, and you need to bring this topic to life in a way that engages your readers. It takes more then just interesting combinations of words to do this.
I think you are off to a fine start if you stick to writing about your first experience, and writing about your first experience would be ideal because 1.) your professor need not know how many times you've taken acid, and 2.) first experiences are generally memorable and meaningful.
I took the liberty of striking out some redundancies, and I rearanged a couple of things to get you started on revising this (if that is your wish). Redundancies fuck up the flow of an essay, and they reveal the author's inability to remain focused. Beware of them, most of the points you make in an essay need to only be made once.
Whats quoted below should be the meat of your essay, so make it meaty. You are writing about a profound experience that you had. You need to show them how this was a profound experience. A laundry list of vague sensations won't cut it. Support your claims, and spend some time on bringing the effects that LSD had on you to life. You claim that this experience changed your life for ever, so it is your job to convince your readers that this is true. Describe your evening to us: Where were you? Inside? Outside? Both? Who was there? What did you do? Did you listen to music? If so how did it sound? What did you see, and how was it different from what you normally see? What did you feel? You can describe each phase of the trip, from the come-up to the peak to the come-down and afterglow, and the marvelous events that happened at each phase. What kind of thoughts did you have? You claim that they were "increasingly complex and abstract" and your "entire view of the world began to change shape" -- How? You claim that things started to become oddly interesting -- How is that so? That part should be oddly interesting to read. How were your senses intensified -- what did they feel like? What were your strange emotions like? Your readers need to be able to relate to what you are writing or they will loose interest quickly. Give examples. Be poetic. Be metaphorical. Be descriptive, but be succinct (do not over-burden your reader with details). You are allowed to embellish this, you have creative liscence over your own experiences -- it is only fraudulent if it is an outright lie that fails to capture the essence of the experience.
Other people have already given you some very helpful hints on how to make this better. Here are some more:
Follow a narrative -- the events in your essay should follow chronological order, don't skip a head and then jump back to the places you skipped. This helps prevent redundant statements and topics from slipping in.
Be thorough, and develop your thoughts completely. Don't say something like, "I laid down on the bed, and it was awesome." I won't take your word for it. Why was it awesome?
Have honest and objective people proof read your work, particularly people who read and write.
Proof read the essay yourself by reading it backwards -- I have discovered many easy to miss mistakes by doing this.
Use complete sentences. Be sure to avoid sentence fragments, run ons, and the like.
Be sure that your verb tense is in agreement throughout the essay
These last two are some big pet peeves for almost every english professor.
Also, have a strong conclusion to your essay. Reiterate how this experience changed your life. How has it continued to effect you? How are you different now? Are you a better person because of this experience? Remember to be thorough, and develop your thoughts completely
Quote:
dirtyhippie said: HERE IS THE ESSAY ITSELF. PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK
Shortly after my eighteenth birthday I had the privilege to (try) experience my first LSD trip. My first experience with this astonishingly captivating chemical occurred on a cold November night in 2014, and it changed my life forever. As soon as the chemical took hold of me, a tremendous surge of energy and love fell over me. It was almost an overwhelming feeling of electric energy as well as a constantly growing internal peace. While it is difficult for me to articulate such a bizarre experience into words, I can definitely say that my experiences under the influence of LSD have been some of the most profound moments of my existence. To date, I have undergone four LSD trips, each incredibly unique and intriguing in their own ways. Throughout my experiences, I have gained a new appreciation for life, as well as a newfound love for my fellow man, which has shaped the person that I am today in a very drastic way.
My first time trying lysergic acid diethylamide (It) was on an unusually cold southern Louisiana night in late November of 2014 It (that) was a night full of mystical wonder and self-exploration. (I was) uncertain of what to expect(,) and (I was) full of my usual anxiety,(.) It took me several hours to convince myself to take the initial plunge and place the small square tab of paper on my tongue. After a seemingly endless evening (process?) of anxious contemplation, I was finally able to swallow my nerves and follow through with the deed. To calm my nerves, I decided to take a hot shower and continue on with my night until I began to feel something, and forty-five minutes later I was finally feeling that ‘something.’ Suddenly, it was if an electric surge was shooting throughout my entire body. There was definite energy that I felt deep within me, and it was rapidly dwelling (swelling?) up with each passing second. Soon thereafter things started to become oddly interesting. My thought process quickly became increasingly complex and abstract, as my entire view of the world began to take a new shape. All at once it was if my emotions and my six senses had been intensified tenfold. That night I felt emotions that I had never known that I was capable of feeling. While the experience was intense, I felt soothingly content with my place in this world, which was a very welcomed feeling for someone such as myself, who often has often felt discontent with his surroundings and the state of the world as a whole.
--------------------
|
ModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE



Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
|
Re: Writing a college paper about my LSD trip? *UPDATED, ESSAY NOW INCLUDED* [Re: FrozenHappiness]
#22278840 - 09/23/15 01:27 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Yup, please don't submit it like this. You more than likely will receive a low score.
Just honest criticism. We're trying to help. When you said you were writing a paper on an acid trip I expected a nice story about a singular event. Not a general "oh this happened this time" paper.
-------------------- Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?
|
moonrockmushy
High on Spite



Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
|
Re: Writing a college paper about my LSD trip? *UPDATED, ESSAY NOW INCLUDED* [Re: FrozenHappiness]
#22281892 - 09/24/15 12:49 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
That was really solid advice FrozenHappiness hope our friend here takes this into account.
|
JonathoCrisp
Stranger
Registered: 02/09/20
Posts: 15
Last seen: 2 years, 1 month
|
Re: Writing a college paper about my LSD trip? *UPDATED, ESSAY NOW INCLUDED* [Re: moonrockmushy]
#27009022 - 10/28/20 06:54 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
|
|
it would be interesting to read the finished result. I am currently in college and doing a little research on mushrooms and their pharmaceutical effects on human health. In addition, at the end of the semester, I have to submit a few more homework projects in other subjects. I do not have time to do everything on time and with the highest quality, so I turned to the company for help, which will help me with my homework. This way I can focus on those subjects that I really like and that bring me practical benefits.
Edited by Northerner (11/30/21 07:03 PM)
|
obaku
student of theuniverse


Registered: 01/31/03
Posts: 142
Loc: Northwest Oregon
|
Re: Writing a college paper about my LSD trip? *UPDATED, ESSAY NOW INCLUDED* [Re: JonathoCrisp]
#27009697 - 10/29/20 06:15 AM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
It may seem trivial, but more paragraph breaks would make this more visually pleasing and easier to read.
-------------------- The master's gone herb gathering, somewhere on the mountain, cloud-hidden, whereabouts unknown.
|
The Blind Ass
Bodhi



Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,657
Loc: The Primordial Mind
|
Re: Writing a college paper about my LSD trip? *UPDATED, ESSAY NOW INCLUDED* [Re: moonrockmushy]
#27010012 - 10/29/20 10:10 AM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
moonrockmushy said: That was really solid advice FrozenHappiness hope our friend here takes this into account.
Agreed. He pretty much said exactly what I was thinking. OP, take the advice!
-------------------- Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps
|
tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
|
Re: Writing a college paper about my LSD trip? *UPDATED, ESSAY NOW INCLUDED* [Re: The Blind Ass] 1
#27011922 - 10/30/20 11:25 AM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
He's either graduated by now or homeless, lol.
|
Ima Trooper
Chilldog Extraordinaire



Registered: 02/21/08
Posts: 13,533
Loc: United States
Last seen: 3 days, 13 hours
|
Re: Writing a college paper about my LSD trip? *UPDATED, ESSAY NOW INCLUDED* [Re: JonathoCrisp]
#27011968 - 10/30/20 11:53 AM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
JonathoCrisp said: it would be interesting to read the finished result
Nice necro.
-------------------- "Its moving of its own accord...and I like that in a shirt!" - Me, tripping. deCypher said: Schizophrenia beats dining alone, you know.
|
Tripsurfer
Bring Back Asante!



Registered: 08/01/12
Posts: 7,129
Loc: West of Windward
Last seen: 3 months, 28 days
|
Re: Writing a college paper about my LSD trip? *UPDATED, ESSAY NOW INCLUDED* [Re: Ima Trooper]
#27012242 - 10/30/20 02:20 PM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Its a good thread though
-------------------- Ach en wee ben ik de klos, met mijn boog schoot ik een albatros... A philosopher is a person who knows less and less about more and more, until he knows nothing about everything.

|
|