|
Beanhead
IS IRONIC PARADOX


Registered: 10/11/08
Posts: 17,257
Loc: Geospatial inversion.
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
|
|
Quote:
Almond Flour said: Why do some people actually attempt suicide? I mean, is life really that fucking bad? I've been through some dark ass corners of life, abused physically and psychologically....lost all hope and in poverty, but it never seriously crossed my mind.
Why is it some folks try to go this route?
Sometimes rather then a choice it's the only logical option left
Like a person trapped in a building on fire on a high floor... They jump out of the window, not because they want to die but because it's the only option left
|
Fletcher


Registered: 06/14/15
Posts: 679
|
|
Yes, it was. Look it up, man.
|
Gorlax



Registered: 05/06/08
Posts: 6,695
Last seen: 16 days, 21 hours
|
|
I watched a documentary on the people who jumped from the twin towers and it was fucked up. Not a single person who died that day was declared a suicide. Their death certificates all say they were murdered even if they jumped.
|
Amanita86
OTD Keymaster


Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
|
|
Quote:
Fletcher said: Yes, it was. Look it up, man.
Oh ok, I see what you're saying now... full circle..
..sad shit man.
--------------------
Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
Edited by Amanita86 (09/20/15 11:01 PM)
|
pirate-blues


Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 13,656
|
|
Life is amazing in the sense that is can always get worse. Had a friend do it. It's the most frustrating, torturous thing to wonder why they thought it couldn't get better, ask if you could've done more, hope they didn't regret it at the last second. My friend went via bullet to the head in a beautiful spot out in nature but I still think about that.
I've been super, duper depressed before. I've thought about suicide - not about doing it, I could never, ever do it due to something like depression - it would have to be dire circumstances like a situation where it was the quickest most painless way out of torture, a worse death, etc - but for some people, life is akin to that circumstance. I've felt that urge during the worst of it - not suicide so much as an urge to hurt myself, I had the presence of mind to know it was from medication and I could stop the meds, and it would all go away - but it's a frighteningly strong urge, not unlike the urge to drink, do drugs, or anything people try to drown the pain with. At one point I couldn't bear to be awake at all, and I took otc and rx'ed sleep meds throughout the day to keep me asleep - - for three days, getting up only to pee once or twice and drink a little bit of water. I've had obsessive intrusive thoughts and anxiety about everything bad I could ever think about, about all the death, the destruction, the inevitability of feeling hurt that every sentient creature will experience at one time or another. I literally couldn't stop the thoughts, there was 0 control it was like they weren't even coming from my conscious mind because I knew that I had to keep a grip on myself and that I'd get past it all.
It made me feel even more strongly about how completely unwilling I am to ever consider suicide, I know firsthand that it's so incredibly tragic and painful for family and friends, I just want to be happy and make other people happy(or at least not make them unhappy, if I can help it). Those rough times where I was so caught up in how horrible the world can be made me realize I didn't want to add to it, I don't ever want my loved ones to feel the way I have if I can help it.
|
Gorlax



Registered: 05/06/08
Posts: 6,695
Last seen: 16 days, 21 hours
|
|
Wow that just reminded me of my friend who killed himself with allergy pills. I forgot all about that. This kid had problems since we were in elementary school then in the beginning of the year my friend asked if I heard about brayden and turned out he killed himself by taking a shit ton of allergy pills (i'm assuming benadryl).
He was a pretty heavy drug user but not sure what drugs he favored. I saw him randomly at the indian casino rolling balls or on meth couldn't even tell. It was fucking weird. Sad shit. he had a super good family too. his dad owns a few banks in california. fucked up way to kill yourself.
|
pirate-blues


Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 13,656
|
Re: Suicide? [Re: Gorlax]
#22267756 - 09/21/15 12:20 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
I didn't even know you could OD on benadryl - that must've been a massive amount of it - I'm really sorry to hear that. Poor guy. Some people are just born with that kind of inner turmoil. I was, and it does feel like you're swimming upstream a lot of the time, but I've loved life to the fullest extent I ever could in the past and it was wonderful, I've been there before, I know I'll have to deal with this shit the rest of my life, but I also know I'll get there again. Everything is really starting to come together again, and I try to tell as many people who struggle with depression or mental illness that it gets better. It's chronic, but with work, it's managed like any other medical condition and you can live a full happy life.
Benadryl was definitely one of the things I used to keep myself asleep - I knew it wasn't healthy, but I never thought it could kill me, the rx's I used weren't narcotics, they were mild sleeping pills like trazadone or amyltripaline(sp) or something of that kind, and I only ever took amounts within approved treatment dosages, but I'd supplement with benadryl or nyquil, and tolerance happens fast, so I'd be doubling the original dose, but not beyond what the package said was safe(not taking into account mixing stuff).
I've been offered benzos by doctors during the bad times, and have a friend that'll give it away like candy, but I never let myself take anything beyond the above stuff - benzos are okay once in a while, but even during periods of high anxiety(let alone depression) it would just be way, way, way too easy for me to lock myself away forever and put myself in a mini-coma with benzos or more powerful sedatives. I just can't use those things more than once in a blue moon for recreational purposes, never therapeutic, never regularly - it would make me so much worse.
|
Gorlax



Registered: 05/06/08
Posts: 6,695
Last seen: 16 days, 21 hours
|
|
Yeah you really have to take a lot to kill yourself. I know people try to trip off high doses so it's anyones guess if he was just trying to get high or kill himself.
I frequently used nyquil or benadryl for sleep. Then I randomly developed this side effect where the benadryl would give me crazy fucking restless legs if I took more then 2. I usually need like 3-4 to knock me out. I switched to doxyalamine which works better anyways. I ran out tho need to get some more. They sell it at costco in bottles of 96.
Yeah benzos are fucking trash. I do like them and that's why I despise them. Certain ones don't even make me tired. I finished my etizolam 2 weeks ago and I'm glad I ran out because I was at the point where I was just dosing and basically like you said putting myself into some coma like shell. That shit is really the devil. all my friends love it so they are always asking me to get some. Vicious cycle.
|
Bodhi of Ankou
*alternate opinion blocks path*


Registered: 06/02/09
Posts: 24,778
Loc: Soviet Canukistan
|
|
Lose of interest in life. Its easy to get apathetic and not care, easy to find yourself surrounded or raised by people who make your life hell. When your life is empty of anything that brings you happiness anymore pulling the trigger is not a hard thing to do. We all die anyways.
|
Fletcher


Registered: 06/14/15
Posts: 679
|
|
Suicide is painless...
|
Achillita
Back to the basics



Registered: 05/26/14
Posts: 4,565
Last seen: 3 years, 10 days
|
|
Won't get into valhalla with that mentality.
--------------------
|
Rocket

Registered: 03/06/10
Posts: 3,653
Loc: Land of the Freaks
|
|
They can imagine wanting to die. It never seriously crossed your mind. This is explained as a cognitive bias, a major cognitive barrier preventing most people from taking suicide seriously as a right, rather than classifying it as pathology.
See here:
http://theviewfromhell.blogspot.com/2008/04/compassion-motivation-and-cognitive.html
|
LSDreamer
Materialist



Registered: 03/11/08
Posts: 10,052
Last seen: 7 years, 8 days
|
Re: Suicide? [Re: Rocket] 1
#22267982 - 09/21/15 03:07 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
People who commit suicide don't actually want to die. It is an act of fatigue and desperation (usually). People with uncontrolled depression are in pain. Constantly. For many people, the intense pain they feel mentally translates into physical pain as well. Depression also affects your thinking, so you're not always thinking clearly. After living with this constant pain, people experience what is referred to as convoluted thinking and begin to see them and their depression and pain as one and the same. They assimilate the pain and truly believe that it is an integral part of them. It is them. At some point, for whatever reason, the person's ability to cope is overtaxed. They just want the pain to stop and today, they cannot push it aside and trudge on. They just want the pain to stop. They can't remember a time when their world wasn't pain. The person has assimilated that pain and depression, so they are one and the same. They just want the pain to stop. If the pain and the person are the same thing, what's the best way to end the pain? To end the person.
People who commit suicide don't want to die. They just want the intense dysphoria they feel constantly to stop.
--------------------
|
akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
|
|
“To Friends Who Have Also Considered Suicide”
It’s still a good idea. Its exercise is discipline: to remember to cross the street without looking, to remember not to jump when the cars side-swipe, to remember not to bother to have clothes cleaned, to remember not to eat or want to eat, to consider the numerous methods of killing oneself, that is surely the finest exercise of the imagination: death by drowning, sleeping pills, slashed wrists, kitchen fumes, bullets through the brain or through the stomach, hanging by the neck in attic or basement, a clean frozen death—the ways are endless. And consider the drama! It’s better than a whole season at Stratford when you think of the emotion of your family on hearing the news and when you imagine how embarrassed some will be when the body is found. One could furnish a whole chorus in a Greek play with expletives and feel sneaky and omniscient at the same time. But there’s no shame in this concept of suicide. It has concerned our best philosophers and inspired some of the most popular of our politicians and financiers. Some people swim lakes, others climb flagpoles, some join monasteries, but we, my friends, who have considered suicide take our daily walk with death and are not lonely. In the end it brings more honesty and care than all the democratic parliaments of tricks. It is the ‘sickness unto death’; it is death; it is not death; it is the sand from the beaches of a hundred civilizations, the sand in the teeth of death and barnacles our singing tongue: and this is ‘life’ and we owe at least this much contemplation to our western fact: to Rise, Decline, Fall, to futility and larks, to the bright crustaceans of the oversky.
By Phyllis Webb
|
Tantrika
Miss Ann Thrope




Registered: 03/26/12
Posts: 17,138
Loc: Lashed to the pyre
|
|
Quote:
Beanhead said:
Quote:
Almond Flour said: Why do some people actually attempt suicide? I mean, is life really that fucking bad? I've been through some dark ass corners of life, abused physically and psychologically....lost all hope and in poverty, but it never seriously crossed my mind.
Why is it some folks try to go this route?
Sometimes rather then a choice it's the only logical option left
Like a person trapped in a building on fire on a high floor... They jump out of the window, not because they want to die but because it's the only option left
Depression Too is a Type of Fire
|
specialpeopleclub



Registered: 04/10/14
Posts: 5,584
Loc: Mitten
Last seen: 3 years, 7 months
|
|
Sometimes life is that bad, but most people are just weak ass cunts who don't appriciate how nice it is to not be in a pit of black timeless horror for eternity, which won't matter, because you don't exist now
--------------------
Edited by specialpeopleclub (09/21/15 12:15 PM)
|
AllGreyThumbs
Storage Container Aficionado


Registered: 09/18/12
Posts: 849
Loc: Some savage little planet...
Last seen: 6 years, 1 month
|
|
I've thought about it quite a bit. I've even gone as far as to sit with a loaded pistol in my mouth just to see if I was ready to follow through.
My reasons are because I am a dreamer and a free thinker that has been shoehorned into spending almost every single day going somewhere I don't want to go and doing things I don't really want to do. I will spend the best years of my life serving a social and economic system that I don't agree with or wish to support. Yet it is imperative to have money in order to do much of anything in life.
My choices are, devote my life to this soulless corporation, that soulless corporation, or spend 18 hours a day ruining something that I love by turning it into a business that must be able to compete against giant soulless corporations.
Example: "Yes, you really need that $3000 bicycle that I happen to have in inventory. Much better than the $700 one that could serve you well for the rest of your life. No, I cannot show you how to fix or adjust it. That is my secret. Just bring it back here and pay me to do what you could do in five minutes if you knew how."
Or, "By some miracle I actually had an idea that is useful. Alas I can't just give it away so that everyone can use it and improve their life. Nope, I must claim it as my own and then sell it to them while fighting to make sure nobody steals the idea that is mine because it happened to appear in my head and not somebody else's."
How does someone who's sole purpose in life is to challenge convention find a place within society? I mean somebody has to challenge convention or else we will never have much new, but what happens when a person like me doesn't fall into some source of money that I can live with?
Then there is my wife. I try to tell her that I am desperately unhappy, and she mocks me and calls me dramatic. My family of course would side with her because in their eyes I am strange and would be best served by just being normal. My employer requires that I be mentally sound on paper, so any mental illness would threaten the earning power that I do have. Worrying about money would not make my life any better.
Hmm, what else? How about working a blue collar job where you are supposed to suck it up and be tough. Asking for help wouldn't really fly. How about living in a rural area where mental health services are decades behind, if you can find them at all.
And then I think about what any "help" actually means. "Help" means occasionally talking to someone about my feelings and then being medicated so that a can return to my place in service to corporate America.
"Dreaming of different ways of life son? Don't be silly. This is the way it is. Just take these pills and get back to work. Only a few more decades and then you can retire. Make sure to help your children get an education so that they can also spend their lives doing thing they don't really want to do in order to keep stock prices up."
Or maybe "Life kind of sucks, isn't there any other way."
"Nope, but these pills will make you feel better about spending your life supporting a system that you don't believe in."
So near as I can figure, I have no way out. I need money, so I must serve some soulless company in order to get it. Nobody I know would support or help me do anything different. My wife would fuck me over if I tried and then I could add not having money to my woes. Getting help would probably also cost me my job since I have to be mentally fit on paper, so again the no money problem. Even if I did get help it would only end up with me being drugged and then set back to finish my life's work of helping keep some company or another's stock price up.
So, yep, I've sat at the edge. One click away from death, wouldn't even hear the shot since those particular rounds move faster than sound.
But here is something that I realized while sitting at the edge. If you are at that point then you have nothing left to lose. You might as well try anything. Quit a job, ditch a wife, get in a car and drive away for a while, burn through a life savings. Whatever.
At that point there is nothing left that you can lose. There is nothing life can take that you aren't willing to throw away, so why not then try something, anything. Take the gun, carefully package and hide it so that you can always come back for it, and then go take on the world. Live boldly and without fear. Do whatever the hell you damn well please. Chase whatever seems to make you happy. If it doesn't work out you can always come back and die later.
I suppose what you realize at the edge is that there is always some kind of option. It may not make sense or seem sustainable, but logically you might as well at least try. Nothing left to lose right?
Then why do people follow through? Why don't they all see what some of us see at the edge?
To me I suspect social pressures play a huge role here. Logically it makes sense to make some massive changes to life if that is what it takes. Why not do something radical at that point? Except that social pressures can prevent it. "What would people think if I left my wife and kids and quit my job," someone might worry. "Sure having me alive and distant is better than me being dead, but other people won't understand that choice, the reason that I had to make a radical life change. They will not even believe that I was that close to pulling the trigger and may even belittle me over it."
Another factor is exhaustion. If you've reached the end of your rope and can barely get through a routine day, how do you muster the energy to make radical life changes. I guess that might be a good time to run away for a bit, grab a ton of cash and just go sleep in a hotel for two weeks or something before even trying to form a new life plan.
Mostly it is just that people see things only getting worse. "Even if I were to make massive changes to my life I would only end up with the same problems, but less money."
In the end I'm not sure what to say about the topic. Maybe that not everyone is cut out for spending their lives as working stiffs. Maybe there are only so many slots for artists and dreamers and visionaries and when those slots are filled up in your corner of society you default to corporate servant. That's a hard pill to swallow for people with hopes and dreams.
49 weeks serving the man, 3 to enjoy yourself, now back work another year. Only a few more decades and your children and grandchildren will replace you in pursuit of the American dream. Now we're really living!
-------------------- I only use drugs medicinally. If I don't my knees hurt from kneeling down.
Edited by AllGreyThumbs (09/21/15 11:08 AM)
|
Rocket

Registered: 03/06/10
Posts: 3,653
Loc: Land of the Freaks
|
|
Quote:
Mescalean said:
Some people realize none of us ever asked to be brought into this realm of existence. Which has made me question myself whether or not I want children.
This is one of the arguments to expound the philosophical position of antinatalism.
|
Rocket

Registered: 03/06/10
Posts: 3,653
Loc: Land of the Freaks
|
|
Quote:
iSmkGrnBud said:
How abused and tortured a life must be where living is a burden?
Burden is always a direct and immediate object of living. You cannot have one without the other.
|
lowbrow
Paddy Time!!!!


Registered: 09/12/08
Posts: 9,662
Last seen: 2 days, 5 hours
|
|
Quote:
Fletcher said: Suicide is painless...
It brings on many changes...
-------------------- Amanita86 said: Sui is trying to mod right now. Kinda like a newborn calf tryin ta stand fer the first time ain’t it..
|
|