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vandago



Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
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Lack of sleep.
#22249284 - 09/17/15 01:54 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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How dangerous is it really? I've been working 72 hour weeks, with an hour commute, and doing comedy to boot. I literally sleep maybe 10-20 hours a week. I'm running solely on coffee, until I get too jittery and have to take a 1 mg kpin just to stop sweating and even it out. I'm pulling like 40 hours straight awake, then 5 hours of sleep, then 16 hours awake, etc. I get one day off and it's sunday, and I sleep a majority of the day.
This is a complete 180 from the lifestyle I used to live.....and it's just as extreme. Trying to save money and start my own business slowly but surely, but a truck and tools are expensive. I can't stop now, I've been doing it for a couple months.
What can I do besides some kind of stimulant to keep this up and not wreck my body? I have a really really hard time getting my mind to slow down to take cat naps.....so I just run on fumes...and it's really starting to show in my face, and I feel completely drained......however I am connecting with people again....and smiling from time to time.....I'm almost considering the fact that I may be human,and I may be alive......I really lost it the last year, and I don't want to lose it again.
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Giftofdeprivation
Discerning Vagrant



Registered: 07/20/13
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Last seen: 8 years, 28 days
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Re: Lack of sleep. [Re: vandago] 1
#22249320 - 09/17/15 02:13 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Once you start down this path, there will be no rest. Your habits now will determine who you are in the future. You're already seeing it burgeon with your inability to settle down and sleep and it's only going to get worse from here.
Cognitive difficulties, a shitty immune system, micro-sleeps... seriously, just google the "effects of sleep deprivation". There's a LOT out there. You can go on like that for a while, but I doubt you'll ever normalize again.
Do you want insomnia, cuz this is how insomnia happens. Let me tell you, it's NOT FUCKING FUN! When you want to sleep and just can't, it's one of the most frustrating things you can deal with.
--------------------
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champinhom
Lord Justhappensness


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 987
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Re: Lack of sleep. [Re: vandago]
#22249337 - 09/17/15 02:22 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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it sounds to me like you are riding for a fall. You seem to be one of those people who only have two gears: Full Speed Ahead and Reverse. I don't know. Maybe you can operate like that. For a while.
I would say: Find a pace you can sustain. People who run marathons don't bust their asses because they know they can't keep it up. Instead they find a pace that allows them to get through the hours they have to run it.
You are trying to run a marathon with a sprinter's technique.
-------------------- My father used to say: I don't care what else you do in life, just don't be an asshole. People, forgive me when I forget what my daddy said. Cut back the proliferating list of people whose opinions can hurt you. Unless they have done or want to do you some good, their views are just not worth tracking. Saul Bellow “People are just cannibals unless they leave each other alone.” Doris Lessing Those whom the gods would save, they dower with compassion. Mr. P. Silocybin
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vandago



Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
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I've had insomnia since I can remember. I never sleep more then 3 hours at a time. I was diagnosed ADHD as a child and given tons of ritalin and adderall.....as I progressed and mental health expanded, I was rediagnosed with aspergers.....insomnia is a side effect, and all the speed as a child medically, then abusively as a young adult didn't help.
I have no choices really......and I am only asking here because I know there's people that dive deep into the world of speed and hours awake......and I see some people it doesn't seem to take a toll on. There has to be supplements I can take to make it easier on me? This is not a permanent thing. I'll eventually pick the job that promotes me faster.....I'm already making a good impact in both places....I like both jobs.....and I really really need money right now.
There's times when I don't get to choose because I already made stupid choices.
Just looking for advice on how to weather it as long as possible, and do the least about of damage.
And honestly as far as the marathon sprinter comparison. I'm actually doing pretty decent up until this week. I had to paint a 3 story house starting this monday, and I have full shift midnights wed-sun, and I have a comedy show I am hosting fri before I come into work. I've been pulling it off no problem until the harder labor kicked in today......but once it gets cold out here, I won't be doing outside contracting anymore, only inside, which isn't that strenuous.
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vandago



Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
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Re: Lack of sleep. [Re: vandago]
#22249362 - 09/17/15 02:37 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Also there is a cushion at both these jobs. I'm over qualified for the audit position I am in, and have already told them comedy is my number 1 priority, and they said they are fine with that coming first, anytime I need off just let them know in advance. And the contracting job is from a friend I have known for 12 years, we don't exactly do too much on the daily......like a couple things here and there, very laxed.
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Giftofdeprivation
Discerning Vagrant



Registered: 07/20/13
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Last seen: 8 years, 28 days
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Re: Lack of sleep. [Re: vandago]
#22249366 - 09/17/15 02:40 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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There is not much out there to help you except finding sleep when you can. There are no drugs (except sleep aids) that can replace the sleep your body needs. You can start practicing good sleep hygiene and regulate your sleep schedule until you get back to normal (8 hours normal), but as it stands, you're just burning the candle at both ends and you'd better hope your genetics will take you as far as you're trying to go...
Why do you need all of these jobs?
--------------------
Looking for recipes? Have some recipes to share? Please post what you have in the official cooking thread for Pubbers! HERE! Shoutout to Azur's Official cooking thread for OTDers! Posters Beware!
Edited by Giftofdeprivation (09/17/15 02:41 AM)
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vandago



Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
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Quote:
Giftofdeprivation said: There is not much out there to help you except finding sleep when you can. There are no drugs (except sleep aids) that can replace the sleep your body needs. You can start practicing good sleep hygiene and regulate your sleep schedule until you get back to normal (8 hours normal), but as it stands, you're just burning the candle at both ends and you'd better hope your genetics will take you as far as you're trying to go...
Why do you need all of these jobs?
Because bills? Why else? I'm not like trying to buy drugs or a ps4 or something lol. In the last 2 years I have worked my way up from epically homeless sleeping in parking lots, to couches, then back to my parents, then a sugar mama, and now I am squatting in a house trying to save money and get my own place, and business going, so I don't ever have to go through this again.
I refuse to give up my dogs so my living options were limited. I made due. It's just as time progresses without stability, bills rack up unless you are constantly moving around and screwing people.....which is something I don't do. I'm being responsible? Why else would anyone work mad hours like this? Shit happens, and you have to wade through it, and that's what I'm doing right now......I'm not happy about it.....I wanna be in a bed right now with my dogs, but I get off work in 2 hours, I'll go home and play with them for 30 minutes, then off to painting again......and after painting I will get a sweet 6 hours of sleep after 35 of being awake.
In the past I have maxed out at 94 hours on DOC sold to me as LSD.
Some festivals I have gone the entire 3 days without sleep.
Those are drug induced though. This is pretty much sober.
I use weed to relax and nap when I can, but I'm more concerned on the beating my organs must being taking. I was thinking taking more milk thistle + a lot of other supplements. Extra vitamins. More water......I have already completely gone back to a full healthy diet with no junk food.
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champinhom
Lord Justhappensness


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 987
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Re: Lack of sleep. [Re: vandago]
#22251219 - 09/17/15 01:20 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
vandago said: but I'm more concerned on the beating my organs must being taking.
Exactly. To put it bluntly, you are killing yourself and you ask people to advise you how to do it as comfortably as possible.
I will just say this and no more: If you want to stay healthy, you can find a way. If you want to have all the things you seem to want the way you want them, dogs, business, your own home,comedy....well, I guess you are just going to have to pay the price for all that.
As for me, I've been sick and I've been healthy and healthy is better, and it is better exponentially. Snuff.
-------------------- My father used to say: I don't care what else you do in life, just don't be an asshole. People, forgive me when I forget what my daddy said. Cut back the proliferating list of people whose opinions can hurt you. Unless they have done or want to do you some good, their views are just not worth tracking. Saul Bellow “People are just cannibals unless they leave each other alone.” Doris Lessing Those whom the gods would save, they dower with compassion. Mr. P. Silocybin
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champinhom
Lord Justhappensness


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 987
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Re: Lack of sleep. [Re: vandago]
#22251303 - 09/17/15 01:40 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Now, having said the above, and supposing you are still determined to go down your crazy path,which no doubt your are, then I would say: Stuff yourself with good food, use all the health supplements that people like Dr. Mercola and others of that knowledgeable ilk recommend, stay away from alki, tobacco,drugs--ESPECIALLY AMPHETAMINES. And...hope for the best.
-------------------- My father used to say: I don't care what else you do in life, just don't be an asshole. People, forgive me when I forget what my daddy said. Cut back the proliferating list of people whose opinions can hurt you. Unless they have done or want to do you some good, their views are just not worth tracking. Saul Bellow “People are just cannibals unless they leave each other alone.” Doris Lessing Those whom the gods would save, they dower with compassion. Mr. P. Silocybin
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ChiefGreenLeaf

Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 1,596
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Re: Lack of sleep. [Re: vandago] 1
#22252917 - 09/17/15 07:30 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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You should try some Modafinil. It's used by pilots and emergency workers to stay awake. It isn't a stimulant in the classical sense. It just keeps you from falling asleep.
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vandago



Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
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Quote:
champinhom said:
Quote:
vandago said: but I'm more concerned on the beating my organs must being taking.
Exactly. To put it bluntly, you are killing yourself and you ask people to advise you how to do it as comfortably as possible.
I will just say this and no more: If you want to stay healthy, you can find a way. If you want to have all the things you seem to want the way you want them, dogs, business, your own home,comedy....well, I guess you are just going to have to pay the price for all that.
As for me, I've been sick and I've been healthy and healthy is better, and it is better exponentially. Snuff.
It's not like I'm running to the grave with this.....I'm 30.....I am in a rough spot....I'm working a lot of hours and am simply wondering what I should strive for to not......die......
I'm at 43 hours straight with no sleep right now. Fucking sucks. Maybe I have lost my mind?
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite



Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
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Quote:
ChiefGreenLeaf said: You should try some Modafinil. It's used by pilots and emergency workers to stay awake. It isn't a stimulant in the classical sense. It just keeps you from falling asleep.
Idunno about this. I think most people would be surprised at how well some people can cope with little bursts of sleep and micronaps.
You're probably very stressed. I think if you can force yourself to lie down and take little naps, and keep doing that throughout the day. Once I get tired, coffee don't make a difference. I can always doze a bit after a day or two. Even if it isn't sleep, just that starting to fall asleep then waking up in starts seems to help me. Before I know it I'll be sitting up in bed without even being aware hate that shit.
43 hours is a long time. Just lie down in the dark and quiet. Even 1hr makes a big difference when it comes to health.
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vandago



Registered: 07/07/04
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Loc: .
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It pretty much ruined everything for me tonight. I ended up getting 8 hours today, then went and hosted a comedy show and bombed so hard.
I honestly don't feel alive anymore. I feel like I'm in eternal damnation.
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite



Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
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Re: Lack of sleep. [Re: vandago]
#22258724 - 09/19/15 01:07 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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You'll get back on it man. Those manic runs have to come to an end somehow, better to just crash than go full crazy. I think if you focus on balance and health you will end up having that sort of energy and it will be more under your control. Don't get too down on yourself, your comedy is great, and every comic bombs sometimes. It's a learning experience. Anyone that understands comedy and what drives people to do be entertainers would understand, anyone that doesn't isn't worth impressing anyway.
The things that make you great are still in there. No amount of sleep can change that. If you are patient and determined, that will set you apart from the mundane in the end. Honestly if you're not in a good spot it's probably for the best in terms of your comedy as when people like that see success it seems to destroy them. Keep at it.
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JacksonMetaller
Stranger

Registered: 03/13/11
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Depends on your definition of dangerous. Compared to the rest of societies common behaviors? Moderately. In terms of absolute risk? Significantly. Maintaining biorhythms is a necessary aspect to normal immune regulation. Immune dysregulation is implicated in the pathogenesis of nearly all chronic diseases including diabetes, cardiovascular disease, autoimmunity, cancer, etc. So sleep is imperative to proper functioning. However if you can't get enough, you can at least better your odds by eating a diverse, nutrient dense, whole food based diet, avoiding regular drug use, exercising well, avoiding chronic stress etc. Though I'm assuming the time for cooking real food and exercising is hard to find if you can't find time to sleep? The fast pace of modern life is a real problem for human physiology unfortunately. It's kind of hard to find the best of both worlds and it's sort of got me on the fence of going off grid for personal health reasons myself though that's a more extreme choice than is necessary for most
Edited by JacksonMetaller (09/19/15 10:46 AM)
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vandago



Registered: 07/07/04
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Loc: .
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From what everyone else is telling me from the show ( bout 100 people showed up ) I did great? Maybe I am just letting my mind get the best of me?
It was a show for charity, and I did a raffle where 2 bucks got you a ticket, and the winner of the raffle got to chop off my hair. Proceeds went to a family in need, and my hair is being mailed to pantene pro v wigs for cancer victims.
I mean I held it up the whole time, I ran strong and didn't fuck any jokes up......maybe I am too hard on myself....
I broke down last night though. I got to work right after my comedy show practically shaking and gone mentally. I went home and ate a couple muscle relaxers and kpins and crashed for 12 hours non stop, not even a stir in bed. I feel a little better now, and I have tomorrow off to sleep all day again.
Another huge hard thing in my life right now is I am trying to actually turn it around. I haven't been to a concert or festival in over a year. I haven't been sitting at bars. I do when I do comedy, but I don't drink much. I got this dui 6 months ago and said that was it. I am too old for this shit....I have to get it together and become stable.....but it's driving me insane.
I really miss the party life....but when I try to go socialize like that, it seems its pure evil anymore....everyones so dog eat dog.....theres always too much drama.....I'm getting to the point I'm older than a lot of people I'm surrounded by.....I keep thinking my past is going to come haunt me for the rest of my life......I just dont know
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sprinkles
otd president


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
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Re: Lack of sleep. [Re: vandago]
#22262679 - 09/19/15 10:52 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I like being busy. the busier i am, the less time i have to think.
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vandago



Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
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The busier I am the more I think. The more I think about how life is nothing but chaos. There's no rhyme or reason. It's a gamble, a roll of the dice, it's always going to be crushed no matter what I choose.
It just doesn't make any sense. I feel like this whole entire thing is rigged, and fate is pre determined, and I am eternally trapped in this ycle of ever demanding effort that never quite make it to standard, let alone exceeds.
When I do sleep, I have the worst dreams I can imagine. Huge psychopaths with guns, and purple haired witches controlling groups of people to torture me and look me in concrete rooms with space ninjas, and as soon as I escape which take 15 some odd years, I end up in these run down mansions with broken elevators, that I always get on, and no matter what room I go in it's always been caught on fire, or their are evil people raping people I care about, or people are butchering my dogs and eating them and burying their remains in human shit. I'm not even exaggerating.
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite



Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
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Re: Lack of sleep. [Re: vandago]
#22262923 - 09/20/15 12:02 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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It seems like you're really being honest with yourself and trying to make it work, which is huge. Wish I had some advice that would help. You deserve a break so I hope you can find a way to manage things and find some balance. When I was homeless I would stay up for days at a time and when I finally had my own bed again that first sleep was like nothing else, I can't even describe it. It was disorienting waking up, and there was some emotional fallout that took some time to get over, but it's one of those things where your lifestyle is taking a toll, and there's really nothing other than peace and quiet that can help in my case at least.
Honestly getting on a stage in front of 100 people under any circumstances and doing comedy is impressive. I've seen some of your videos, I know you're funny. It shows that you put alot of heart into your craft and are able to translate that inner turmoil into laughs. I think if you are more stable and stay determined more opportunities will open up for you, and you will be able to take it to another level. It is a brutal industry it seems, so definitely have a backup plan, but you have a talent on stage that many people do not. Keep nurturing that, but your health needs to come first.
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vandago



Registered: 07/07/04
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Loc: .
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I've honestly never had anyone say bad things about my comedy....Ive been given some pointers and told what I've been doing wrong.
I just get so anxious thinking every joke is about me....and then I think this is all one cosmic fucked up joke being played on me, and I'm going to eat every single one of my words in a horrible way
I have this awful feeling I committed suicide in a past life and I am doomed for eternity.
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Almond Flour
...get off my lawn!



Registered: 12/26/08
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Re: Lack of sleep. [Re: vandago]
#22263829 - 09/20/15 08:45 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I'd be worried about your sanity bro....slow it down a tad
-------------------- Hippies and Liberals love Pope Francis, so why dont I quote him for you guys. "There is NO SALVATION outside the Catholic Church"
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micro
bunbun has a gungun



Registered: 05/09/03
Posts: 7,532
Loc: Brick City
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I just sleep when I'm tired.
Recently stayed up 6 nights in row and started hallucinating.
It was kinda cool B)
(alcohol withdrawal had a lot to do with that)
Otherwise, I often don't sleep more than 4 hours.
At least you catch up on it that Sunday...
-------------------- Any research paper or book for free (Avatar is Maxxy, a character by Mizzyam, RIP)
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vandago



Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
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Re: Lack of sleep. [Re: micro]
#22269902 - 09/21/15 03:00 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I just dont even know what to do. Its taking my sanity quick. Im having a daily meltdown. Deleted my facebook. I wish i could delete this account. I am so far behind on every bill, and heavily in debt to the irs. Im sleepwalking when i do sleep and hurting myself. Apparently i nose dived into my drum kit last night.
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micro
bunbun has a gungun



Registered: 05/09/03
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Loc: Brick City
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Re: Lack of sleep. [Re: vandago]
#22269962 - 09/21/15 03:12 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Wow. You try antihistimines? Sleeping pills? Benzos? (not all at once, lol)
-------------------- Any research paper or book for free (Avatar is Maxxy, a character by Mizzyam, RIP)
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite



Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
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Re: Lack of sleep. [Re: vandago]
#22269978 - 09/21/15 03:15 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I would suspect the benzos I think you said you were taking when it comes to sleepwalking, and stress of course. Most sedatives do similar things to me.
Please get some help man. I have a friend that reached the end of his rope and became suicidal, and he ended up "sectioning" himself to get into a rehab. I know that is not appealing at all, but it sounds like you're in pretty rough shape so if you're really falling apart please go to the hospital or a doctor and tell them the truth. The should help you out with the mental side of things. If you are not sure about what to do call a suicide hotline and ask for advice. It's anonymous and they're there to help.
All this stuff is manageable, even though I know it must seem like it is not, you just need some time man. You're a really good dude and you deserve a break, so please don't let stupid things like money get in the way of your health and happiness.
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vandago



Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
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Im not thinking suicide....im having this delusion i already did. Its been happening since last halloween. It comes and goes....but its getting awful. I had to get back on benzos in dec because i was a complete basketcase. Not working, hiding inside all day in my room playing doom 3 like it was my fate in a video game. It started getting a lot better but all this stress triggered it again. Im staying up all night 36 hrs a week, then im up on a ladder for 30 hrs. Some days i dont even know what time it is or day it is. I missed my moms bday even though i talked about it the whole week prior. I keep questioning everything....i still have ptsd from all the legal troubles and jail. I always think everyones a cop. Numbers are even starting to hold meaning like in number 23.....my brain is just gone.
I had a doctor appointment today that i completely forgot about. My lovely new blisters have been making life ( after? )that much more unbearable, i somehow even have them on my foot, and i was reading herpes is also neurotoxic. Im making an appointment with a neurologist tomorrow.
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite



Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
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Re: Lack of sleep. [Re: vandago]
#22270382 - 09/21/15 04:55 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Well that's good to hear. Good luck with the neurologist. I know what it's like to be so fed up, I'm not even totally out of the woods myself, but when I got there I just had to give in and slow down. If you're taking drugs it should be under medical supervision.
I have a routiene I do almost every day that I credit for keeping me sane. It involves eating a healthy breakfast every day, I go jogging or take a walk, and don't really drink or party anymore. You'll have to find what works for you, but you need to have something that you know you can do to make sure you're working on yourself and at least having a little respite from your troubles.
You should make an effort to stay close to your family if they are important to you. Nobody but my family really cares about me, even if their expectations are frustrating sometimes. I think it's important that you be stable in case they need your help someday. Missing a birthday is forgivable, but if you harm yourself I think it would really hurt them and that just perpetuates the cycle of suffering.
It takes a really strong person to forgive yourself and just let yourself exist as you are, but I think you're getting there and if you stick it out you'll see that things can change for the better.
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vandago



Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
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Thats a heck of a healthy post for me to read. My mom is the only one thats important family wise. I really dont have much tying me down here other than not being able to drive for 3 years. So many bad decisions has just led to me being swamped. Ive lost a shit load of friends the last two years strictly from losing my grip on reality.
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite



Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
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Re: Lack of sleep. [Re: vandago] 1
#22275624 - 09/22/15 06:35 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I think the real turning point for me when was I was finally at the end of my rope, I had to be honest with my mother about what I was going through. I owe it to my sister for pushing me to do this, who always stuck by me and is my best friend. I can't possibly tell you how hard that was, but I suspect you have some idea. Do it in your own time, but once you start being truly honest with the people closest to you, you'll see there is no other way to live.
Nobody can get me through the day and make decisions for me but myself, and sometimes I still find myself being stubborn and irritable, as are the people that love me, but it makes it so much easier to have integrity and respect myself knowing that people are there for me no matter what. It's a cliche, but the truth will really set you free.
Edited by moonrockmushy (09/22/15 06:43 PM)
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vandago



Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
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I'm really glad I made this thread. I wish I had more outlets to actually vent with. I have very little positive things going on in my life now. Comedy may seem positive, but comedians are very rude to comedians they dont like.....and my comedy is not accepted by the majority.
My mind plays awful tricks on me. I think I'm some monster all the time and deserve punishment. Have since I was born :/
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite



Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
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Re: Lack of sleep. [Re: vandago]
#22287177 - 09/25/15 05:48 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Comedy seems positive. Comedians, notsomuch I certainly wouldn't want to depend on the most insecure and wittiest people for my friends, that's a pretty volatile combination. It's one of those things where reality probably doesn't meet expectations. I think anyone who is going to stay sane and connected to reality needs to put normal friends and family first.
Most people in entertainment seem to come across very nice but I think they rarely show their true face, and they will eat alive anyone that tries to be an individual. Don't let other people's expectations get to you. If you are doing comedy because you love it, there will always be a place to do stand up comedy, and you have just as much of a right as anyone to be up there. Try to arrange your life so that you can do what you love, and if you get lucky and put in the time you might be able to make a profession out of it.
Re-learning to do everything without drugs is hard as fuck, but I think if you can manage to cut back and stay focused you would be sharper in the end.
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vandago



Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
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Drugs haven't been much of an issue. I stay away from all stimulants now. I don't seek out dissociatives like I used to. I do K every few months, but even that just tears so much reality away from me. I used to be so into dissociatives......binged on MXE for weeks.....I haven't done that drug in a year now, and I really have a desire to do it again, but I know it's just going to make things worse.
Alcohol is the demon I am really battling more than anything when it comes to chemical abuse. That and cigs. I drink almost everyday from stress and isolation. I am cutting back this week and weening down to where it's safe to stop. Taking kpins and drinking is not safe, and I do it a lot :/ . I'd like to get back to how I was when I was 26 and doing crossfit training, p 90 x, and eating healthy. That whole year was amazing.....but thats also the year I was doing mxe like it was gods gift to me. I was doing 1.5 hr work outs on 200 mg of MXE spread out through the work out. Every water break I would do about 30 mg, and at the end of the work out, by the time I got in the shower, I was just GONE. Then I'd go lay down and venture through space.....
....but it feels like something came back with me....
I dunno. Demonic possession may sound crazy.....but that's how it feels when I think of that drug. Like the book/movie The Sphere, I feel like I am manifesting everything all the time....which I already thought were true since my first acid trip.....but now I like manifest things almost instantly.....not major things.....but like license plates, numbers, colors of cars.....I know that has to do with lack of sleep and stress though as well.
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