Hello guys. I’d like to start off by saying I am a moderately experienced tripper. Leading up to this night, I had had 4 trips on acid, an experience on a low dose(1.5g) of shrooms, and smoked DMT twice. All of those trips were very positive experiences.
It was the weekend for the fourth of July, so both of my roommates and our good friend had Friday off work. I had to go in at 3:30p on Friday, but I figured if I dropped around 4:30p Thursday when everybody would be done with work and on the way over, that I would be fine. The night before I decided I was going to take 2.5 tabs. They were supposed 100 ug tabs and my first trip I was on roughly 200, so it didn’t seem like a huge deal to me. Plus my roommate D planned on getting Xanax on hand in case things got too intense. He, my other roommate R, and our friend J(who is the most experienced tripper of us and gets all of our acid), were all just going to take one.
So it’s Thursday and we all drop at roughly 4:30p, with the exception of my roommate R who took his about 20 minutes earlier. R didn’t get off work until 5:00, so by the time he rolls up at 5:20, he is already tripping. He says it’s hit him faster than any other tab ever has. 10 minutes later and I am coming up pretty hard. Everything is waving, beautiful, and vibrant. Shortly after it starts hitting me, I find out that D invited over our weed dealer who was with his girlfriend. I have tripped with lots of people on multiple occasions, so it was comfortable to me.
Let’s say it’s roughly 5:45 and we now have marijuana. Our dealer and his girlfriend stick around and smoke with us because we are friends with them. D packs his bong(that he later broke that night…. Dumbass.), and we start toking. I’ve smoked on nearly every trip I’ve had so far, and I like the intensity that it gives to the trip. After a few good hits, the room is looking a little more compressed, flat objects were looking 3-dimensional, and the euphoria is through the roof. Everything feels amazing right now. We go outside for a little bit and at one point when looking at my driveway, it looks like ants are crawling around everywhere. It didn’t really concern me as I knew they were just hallucinations. I was just so amazed at the world around me and I’m having a great time. We go back inside and after smoking a bit more, it’s about 6:30 and I reach into my stash and pull out the half tab that I didn’t take…. And took it without getting anybody’s input. Redosing perhaps may not have been the best idea.
D and I start playing a game of NBA 2k14 to keep occupied(we may have already been playing, I can’t remember. It took a long time to finish that damn game). All the players looked compressed like midgets and it was so difficult to play, but D had never beaten me in 2k14 and I was leading him a majority of the game. As I said, it took a long time to finish that game, so we paused it many times to do various things. At one point I get a text from my friend C asking if it was cool if he came over. We had briefly discussed it earlier in the day, and I let him know that I would be tripping hard. He had never seen anyone trip, but he said he’d still come over and hang out if we were all ok with it. I ask if everyone is ok with him coming over and everybody agrees. He gets there sometime between 7:30-8:00 and smokes a bit with all of us.
Around this point I could tell that R was starting to get a bit overwhelmed because he seemed a bit shaky and kept asking D when the Xanax would get there. I had completely forgotten about the Xanax, but everything was still fine with me so it wasn’t a major concern. D said that his guy couldn’t get them as early as expected, but that they would be here soon. We try to finish the game of 2k and it is much more difficult than earlier. We put on a Joe Rogan podcast with Nick Swardson as the guest. I don’t know if it was that podcast that tipped off everyone’s trips, but after listening to that for a little bit, things started to get a bit intense.
We were nearing the end of the 2k14 game, I think the fourth quarter just started, and everything hit me like a freight train. I start losing proper motor skill. I sink back into the chair and cause my player to dribble backward out of bounds. Everybody starts laughing of course and I try to shake it off and play the game. The longer the quarter went on, the more I was making stupid mistakes. By this point in time, my mind begins racing faster than it ever has, faster than either DMT experience. I’m staring at the screen while playing and what seems like every second going by to me takes about 4-5 off the clock and I see my friends off to the side moving at faster speeds.
Then, the loops. Oh my God the loops. The first one I can remember is my phone falling off my lap, picking it back up, noticing a text from my friend at 8:13pm, trying to respond, losing focus, dropping it again, and repeating that whole process what seemed like 20 times. Oddly enough, every time I did it, the time on my phone still said 8:13pm, even though it seemed like it was happening over a much longer span of time. It was around this time that the group deemed me incapable of continuing the 2k14 game, so we stopped playing and that made us all start focusing on the Joe Rogan podcast more. At this time, all of us began peaking hard. J was handling himself pretty well as he has done acid dozens of times, but D and R began feenin’ for those Xanax and as my intensity picked up, it made me think that I needed them also.
Whilst still listening to the Joe Rogan podcast, I started looping again, but this time it was not my actions…. The same scene kept replaying in front of me. I would hear Joe Rogan and Nick Swardson repeat themselves, I would see my friends make the exact same movements and say the exact same things that they had just been saying. I had looped on my most recent acid experience prior to this one, but I thought it was awesome. This time not so much. It just kept replaying multiple times. I don’t know if we all experienced this or not, but R said later on that he was also looping during the podcast, though not to my extent. I was unsure of what to make of it, and worse yet, I didn’t know how to break it.
“Bars on the way?” I heard, and asked, that question too many times to count as we went forward. I didn’t know what time was anymore. I wasn’t questioning what time it was, I was just focused on breaking all the conversation loops that I kept getting stuck in. And that’s when I lost complete touch with reality. I felt my heartbeat, and it literally felt like it was beating 10 beats a second and that made me get a little uneasy. As I was already zooming so fast I felt as though I was leaving my own body and I began freaking out. And that’s when I heard our dealing friend say to his girlfriend “he’s not responding.” In retrospect, he could have just been talking about somebody he was texting or something, but I was already beginning my first bad trip and hearing that just made me assume the worst. I couldn’t properly speak, I could only utter out a few words at a time. But I began thinking that my spirit was leaving my body and that I was dying. “I’m not dying!” I screamed out, and everybody looked at me concerned. I’m sure they all tried to assure me that I was fine, but I broke out in tears for a few seconds. I kicked the table in front of me and screamed “I’m alive!” in an attempt to prove it to them, and nearly broke a lot of glass sitting on the table.
After that little scene, I accepted that I wasn’t dying and didn’t have an outburst quite that scary for the rest of the night. For a while that would follow, I was having very intelligent revelations in my head(well, at the time they seemed very intelligent), but every time I would try to share one, my mind would race right into another revelation. I was given a pen and a pad to try to right down my thoughts if I had any good ones, because I couldn’t accomplish forming proper sentences most of the time because my thoughts would interrupt me. The one thing I remember writing on that piece of paper was “Write it down you fucking idiot.” That one’s kind of weird, but ok. When I was focusing on the pad and writing, I could see the pen writing from what seemed like the other side of a different dimension. Nothing I wrote appeared to make any sense.
I ended up in another loop with my friends asking me questions and our dealer just responding “Oh, he’s just tripping haaaaard.” The more I looped, the more I distorted the way he was saying it. It was starting to sound like he was making fun of me, even though I highly doubt he actually was. Then I started to feel this overwhelming sense that I was upsetting everyone around me, that I was ruining the night for everyone and that of course made me start to feel bad. At one point I thought I had betrayed J and R by almost sharing a “cool secret” with C that really didn’t make much sense. I started to think that I needed to say some sort of passphrase to break the loops, so I was started to scream out some random things that nobody else could really comprehend. At some point, D went to his room with our dealer and his girlfriend. It was shortly after this that I started talking to J, knowing that since he was the most experienced of us that he would have the best chance of helping me out.
My mind was still wondering a lot, so it was pretty hard to focus. I was probably saying things that made absolutely no sense to him and yet he was still agreeing with what I was saying and that started putting me at ease. R and C returned from wherever they were and joined in on the conversation. R, J, and C were honestly probably my 3 best friends of everyone that was there, so being out in the living room with just those 4 wasn’t giving me any more bad vibes and while I was still tripping pretty hard, I wasn’t having any more outbursts or freak outs. Just then, Dylan walked inside with the Xanax that I didn’t even know had arrived, and I quickly gobbled mine up. I instantly felt more relaxed and at ease. It was a placebo effect that kicked in instantly and made me calm for the rest of the night.
All I remember from the rest of the night was going outside when it was just me, R, C, D, and J left. The Xanax had really dulled down the trip, but that was probably a good thing. We went back inside and I fell asleep to the movie Hot Rod sometime around 2:00am. I lost a good chunk of that night and I guess I was hardcore tripping longer than I had realized.
But the next day when I woke up, I felt completely normal. I wasn’t at all scared of experience I had just had, which surprised me. The last time I had a hard trip, it took me about a week or so to adjust to getting back in reality, but this trip which was much more intense didn’t leave any weird after-feelings. I went into work that day and was perfectly fine. Nobody thought anything was wrong with me. Two weeks later I tripped on the same acid, one tab that time, and I think I handled it better than I’ve ever handled acid before.
Everybody else who tripped that night agreed that it was probably the most intense one-tab experience they had as well, and that they had no idea how I was still the same the next morning after taking three and freaking out as much as I had. J has also said that he’s not sure if this stuff was even pure LSD, as he has ordered a lot and none of it has messed with our heads as much as this did.
Thanks to anyone who took the time to read this, and if you wouldn’t mind giving me a bit of input, it would be appreciated.
Are the constant loops a potential sign of ADHD? I have thought many times before that I could possibly have some form of ADD, though my mom has always told me I don’t.
The way I distort things while tripping hard and making it seem as though everybody is against me at times, is that a sign of some kind of mental disorder, or probably just a sign of insecurity?
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