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Quartknee
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Traumarization from bad trip?
#22245404 - 09/16/15 11:09 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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So The plan was to get a motel room with 4 of my friends and trip. I was under the impression that we would be taking LSD. I hadn't really known much about research chemicals and such and really didn't even question it. At the time I had tripped on shrooms at least 10 times, smoked weed daily, and had a few experiences with DXM. Oh, and I had tried LSD once, 4 hits and it was an amazing night. That was like 6 months before this. So we're at the motel room and take our hits and it has an awful metallicy chemical taste to it unlike my other trip which was tastless, and needless to say legit.About 5 min after dropping my friend R walked out of the bathroom and said "woah guys, I think the tracers are starting ALREADY" and he was waving his hand around and I was stunned. Extreme tracers 5 mins in, and I talking like his arm was 10 feet long. After that the night just got more and more confusing every minute. I started not being able to see right. I knew where all the furniture was placed but it was everywhere elese. I lost my mind that night. A lot happened but basically I thought I was dieing and stuck in this limbo room 231 waiting to either go to heaven or hell. I kept thinking of my family and experiences in my life like a flash of life and wold often break into hysterics of laughter meniacally. I had a complete hallucination of all my friends say " hi my names not R it's actually H" and they were telling me they had once lived a life like mine and all this was to teach me something. But they wouldn't tell me what and I was freaking out. Then I realized I was sitting on the bed ( I was in a cave when that happened) and looked around and they weren't even talking to me. And I said " what the fuck just happened to me. What the fuck) and they were all shit what's wrong! So then I just didn't belive anything. I was still dead and going somewhere, but I knew these people, but I didnt. I kept going around asking them each their names. I talked to E alone outside and thought he was god for a bit. It was just so wild I could feel my mind disapearing and my ego dieing. I also would get extremely cold and shake when I was going closer to "heaven" and I'd get soooo hot and sweaty when closer to going to "hell" like they couldn't deside where to send me and I kept going back and forth. Then the trippiest thing ever happened, all of a sudden my ex boyfriend was at the door. I hadn't seen him in a month since we broke up and we had been together 4 years. Aparently I called him then the guys gave him the address so he could come calm me down. I remember calling him cause he's very significant in my life and my life was flashing before my eyes, so obviously he was a big thought. It was just nonsense.
So anyways, it's been a year and half since then and I still feel effected by it. I've tripped on real LSD several times and unless I take a lot it's never like that. I have however tripped a few times on large doses or LSD, or the chemical stuff again ( bad decision) or shrooms and it has brought me back to that same state of insanity again! I'm beginning to belive it has something to do with my life the universe ect, I think my brain was legitemetally traumatized by this experience. I don't know.....it just really effects me today especially with my relationships with people. Me and my boy got back together that night and have tripped a lot together since and I feel like when I go to that place he's always there and has something to do with it too. And now that we aren't together anymore I feel completely lost in this world. I haven't tripped in quite a few months. I'm afraid to know, but I know it's possibly to have a beautiful experience again too, lately I had just gone to a dark place. I thinkwhat I took was 2ci or 25c-NBOME or something like those. I didn't put this as a trip report because there is sooooo much more I will put in when I do actually make one and I really just wanted to discuss it and see what other people think. I don't talk about it much even though I think of it all the time and I feel like it is such a huge thing and it just effects me so much still.
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Tybg


Registered: 08/08/14
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Re: Traumarization from bad trip? [Re: Quartknee]
#22245496 - 09/16/15 11:27 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I'm never affected from a trip for more than a day. You said you've been freaked out for a year? Look up HPPD, you may have it.
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Quartknee
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Re: Traumarization from bad trip? [Re: Tybg]
#22245604 - 09/16/15 11:51 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Oh I have, I definetally have HPPD I still get slight tracer always. And colors are way brighter then ever before. Nature in general looks weird and if I'm really high it looks almost as strong as when I trip.
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Bitter Cactus
reformed bad boy



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Re: Traumarization from bad trip? [Re: Quartknee]
#22245658 - 09/16/15 11:58 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Quartknee said: Oh I have, I definetally have HPPD I still get slight tracer always. And colors are way brighter then ever before. Nature in general looks weird and if I'm really high it looks almost as strong as when I trip.
Stop tripping and the HPPD will maybe go away.
I have HPPD for life I wish I would have been warned before tripping the first time. Your suffering is real bro lay off the drugs for a while.
-------------------- Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.
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Bitter Cactus
reformed bad boy



Registered: 01/26/12
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Re: Traumarization from bad trip? [Re: Quartknee]
#22245847 - 09/16/15 12:31 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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First trip mush I got HPPD and it was a good trip.
HPPD fucking sucks and it is a life long thing and you can get it from your first trip. When I talk to people about tripping I say "well you might get permanent hallucinations for the rest of your life. Do you still want to trip". Lots of them say no.
-------------------- Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.
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SunnyD
WiZarD oF LoVe



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Re: Traumarization from bad trip? [Re: Quartknee]
#22245886 - 09/16/15 12:41 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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One trip I had in October of 2014, Was 30mg oral 4acoDMT right after a month long binge on etizolam and eph and various psychedelic RCs, so I had no benzos to stop the anxiety, and even if I did, I don't think itd helped that night either
It was evil and fear personified, true hell. Utterly powerful OBEs, CEVs OEVs, and every single negative feeling that I could ever feel, was increased to unreal hells.
It was a sign obviously I should quit the drug abuse I had going on then. I didn't listen til January 26th of this year
I felt shooken up for about a month after, almost lost my job. I was a absolute shithead then, I deserved it, every bit.
--------------------
        And to everyone who thinks life is just a game, Do you like the part you are playing? This is the time in life I am living! And I face each day with a smile My music Library of Synthesizer goodness
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Quartknee
Newb

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Re: Traumarization from bad trip? [Re: SunnyD]
#22246302 - 09/16/15 02:22 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Yeah, I definetally agree that taking time off drugs and tripping is a good idea, even smoking weed now gets to me sometimes. Like if I smoke a lot I start to feel like I'm there again. I've associated that trip with like a purpose or something if you get what I mean. Every time I feel like I'm there it's like I'm always here and always have been like it's my hell of insanity and I won't go back to earth. Obviously I always do and I know how to just ride it out now, it's just weird yaknow?
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1234go
Ban Lotto Champion


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Re: Traumarization from bad trip? [Re: Quartknee]
#22246474 - 09/16/15 03:01 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Dig the username.
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Tybg


Registered: 08/08/14
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Re: Traumarization from bad trip? [Re: 1234go]
#22246825 - 09/16/15 04:27 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Yea HPPD is definitely somewhat self induced. After my first few "acid" (25i) trips shit looked strange; top corners of rooms swayed in and out. Tiles on the floor would start contorting. When I got crazy high I'd here people that werent there and what not. I found out after a while that if I ignore it, it almost completely goes away. I realized it really only happened when I'd blatantly stare at something for a while.
Its totally gone now, and shows no signs of coming back even though I've dropped LSD like 4 times this month.
This might be a very terrible idea, but if HPPD really really bothers you, try abusing benzos or opiates for a month or 2. Any and all signs of HPPD went away when I started fucking around with opiates often. Only downside is I've kind of felt dead on the inside for about 2 weeks; and thats how long I've gone without an opiate. I'm sure thats just my brain kicking the mental addiction though 
Any way, best of luck
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xbloodwhipx

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Re: Traumarization from bad trip? [Re: Tybg]
#22246848 - 09/16/15 04:33 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I have hppd also. Mine got better with time, so it may not be "true" hppd. Mine consist of lots of static vision, slight movement in patterns, and occasional breathing objects in my peripheral vision.
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LeningradCowboy
Yes, my name is you?



Registered: 08/01/15
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Re: Traumarization from bad trip? [Re: xbloodwhipx]
#22246962 - 09/16/15 04:59 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Hellow sister Do you know what is the first phrase of hitcheikers guide To galaxy?
Don't panic.
Waking up can be rough a experience. Trust in your self. Trust your intuition. And like wise old Timothy used To say: TRUST YOUR NERVOUS SYSTEM. You Will make it! Much Love! Peace out.
-------------------- From tundra with love!
FREE HAMHEAD 2020!
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Morgenstern
WHAT!

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Re: Traumarization from bad trip? [Re: SunnyD]
#22247191 - 09/16/15 05:47 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Quartknee said: I think I was traumatized by this experience. I don't know.....it just really effects me today especially with my relationships with people.
Quote:
AddyZomeD said: It was evil and fear personified, true hell. Utterly powerful OBEs, CEVs OEVs, and every single negative feeling that I could ever feel, was increased to unreal hells.
Hey, it sounds like you two like drugs. Maybe you should pass on ever dosing high on psychedelics again. Even I can't find another reason to after I found what I was looking for in them. If you're looking for fun, try feel-good pills and try not to abuse them.
-------------------- Admins can't read graphs.
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SunnyD
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Re: Traumarization from bad trip? [Re: Morgenstern]
#22247399 - 09/16/15 06:36 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Morgenstern said:
Quote:
Quartknee said: I think I was traumatized by this experience. I don't know.....it just really effects me today especially with my relationships with people.
Quote:
AddyZomeD said: It was evil and fear personified, true hell. Utterly powerful OBEs, CEVs OEVs, and every single negative feeling that I could ever feel, was increased to unreal hells.
Hey, it sounds like you two like drugs. Maybe you should pass on ever dosing high on psychedelics again. Even I can't find another reason to after I found what I was looking for in them. If you're looking for fun, try feel-good pills and try not to abuse them.

This was back when i was a utter mess of a person
I have nothing but good trips anymore
--------------------
        And to everyone who thinks life is just a game, Do you like the part you are playing? This is the time in life I am living! And I face each day with a smile My music Library of Synthesizer goodness
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Giftofdeprivation
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Re: Traumarization from bad trip? [Re: Quartknee]
#22247425 - 09/16/15 06:43 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Think of it like PTSD. When you have such a strong emotional experience that you just can't make sense of (like war, or too many drugs), you have a hard time letting go of the experience. Our emotional circuitry (mainly the amygdala) is RIGHT NEXT to the hippocampus (long term memory storage), so when you have an extreme emotional experience, it's going to imprint on you. It probably overimprinted in your mind and you're having a hard time letting go...
I mean everything in your brain is connected, so things are just a little out of wack, right now. You can cure PTSD (and HPPD) with treatment, but if that's not available for you, you need to stop all drug intake (your neurochemistry is out of wack), and you need to focus on having positive meaningful experiences in life without them.
If you play WOW all your life, you are more avatar than human. You are what you do. If you take a bunch of drugs that make you irrational and strange, why are you surprised that you are irrational and strange right now? Overwrite those experiences with new meaningful ones.
Good luck.
And try posting questions like these in the Physical and Mental Well-Being forum!
--------------------
Looking for recipes? Have some recipes to share? Please post what you have in the official cooking thread for Pubbers! HERE! Shoutout to Azur's Official cooking thread for OTDers! Posters Beware!
Edited by Giftofdeprivation (09/16/15 06:44 PM)
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nicechrisman
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Re: Traumarization from bad trip? [Re: Quartknee] 1
#22247450 - 09/16/15 06:49 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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What is traumarization?
-------------------- "Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent: it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not." John C. Lily
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Giftofdeprivation
Discerning Vagrant



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Re: Traumarization from bad trip? [Re: nicechrisman]
#22247478 - 09/16/15 06:57 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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The word "traumatize" with the meaning of "trauma"; Tramarization
We are fascinating and purely irrational creatures, LOL!
--------------------
Looking for recipes? Have some recipes to share? Please post what you have in the official cooking thread for Pubbers! HERE! Shoutout to Azur's Official cooking thread for OTDers! Posters Beware!
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Quartknee
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Yes, I would agree thanks for the input sometimes I just think about it so much I don't know what to do with myself. But you're right I need to let it go
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zZZz
jesus


Registered: 12/28/07
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Re: Traumarization from bad trip? [Re: Quartknee] 2
#22248433 - 09/16/15 09:32 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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i've def been spooked on psychedelics before, i couldn't u tell how many times i've thought my life was literally in danger, although i kept it all inside the experiences still haunt me today. not to mention i've also had peeps legit threaten my life before, like coming right up to my face with a gun n shit.
i am like in pain all the time, like my heart hurts n shit.
something u gotta realize tho, is that drugs are no joke, especially not psychedelics, nor any other powerful mind altering drugs. u want to avoid bad experiences then learn to use them responsibility, and even more so learn when to hang up the phone. eventually u might get a call back, if u;re feeling up to it, pick up the phone again, but remember what was said the last time they called, "we dont fuck around".
so just be careful not to pick up the phone in some sketchy motel or wutever, and always make sure ur line is secured, meaning always take proper precaution. Know who the fuck is calling, get a caller i.d. or sum shit.
good luck, hope u feel better.
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Quartknee
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Re: Traumarization from bad trip? [Re: zZZz]
#22250116 - 09/17/15 09:33 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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At first I thought the phone this was like a metaphor.....then I got confused
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