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Ferdinando


Registered: 11/15/09
Posts: 3,664
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some just fade away
-------------------- with our love with our love we could save the world
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,530
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Re: What is a "real" man? [Re: Ferdinando]
#28495348 - 10/07/23 10:59 AM (3 months, 20 days ago) |
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ya
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Pinkerton
Ultrasentient

Registered: 02/26/19
Posts: 3,127
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Come on, broseph. Take me to the top!
I just want to be high on life and that is the top for me.
Besides saving the world but that is impossible.
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Gremlinchode
LoneWolf



Registered: 01/11/14
Posts: 104
Last seen: 1 month, 3 days
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Re: What is a "real" man? [Re: ballsalsa]
#28497185 - 10/08/23 11:40 PM (3 months, 18 days ago) |
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Nice! 😎 Thank you 😁
-------------------- “In the world I see you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rock feller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Towers. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying stripes of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned superhighways.” -Chuck Palahniuk-
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sudly
Darwin's stagger

Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,797
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Isn't a real man someone who can go on a date with a friend and not expect to be intimate, but open and confident about it.
To be able to accept and adapt to changes of plans with respect to personal independence.
Isn't a real man someone you can feel mutual respect from?
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,530
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Re: What is a "real" man? [Re: sudly]
#28497250 - 10/09/23 03:45 AM (3 months, 18 days ago) |
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it depends
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BrendanFlock
Stranger


Registered: 06/01/13
Posts: 4,216
Last seen: 2 days, 13 hours
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A man has the courage to tell the truth..
Aka moral fiber!
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Ferdinando


Registered: 11/15/09
Posts: 3,664
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last time i was at a psychiatry meeting it dawned on me that it is tangible how we have it ok really good etc. and same for the field of what things mean to it as in good enough will do tremendously etc. those two are the essence of philosophy maybe they explain extremely much
-------------------- with our love with our love we could save the world
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,530
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Re: What is a "real" man? [Re: Ferdinando]
#28497274 - 10/09/23 05:24 AM (3 months, 18 days ago) |
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Soul Flight
Stranger
Registered: 05/04/23
Posts: 236
Last seen: 23 hours, 15 minutes
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Didn't read the whole thread.
Just be yourself broski. The cosmos and the universe want you to be yourself. You will be loved for your true self.
Life is a paradox. My personal opinion is women are most fulfilled when they are submissive and dominated. So although their brain wants to be independent their heart or soul or body wants to be dominated. So love is a fun game of paradoxes.
I suspect girls do not want a guy who plays video games, reads comic books, watches cartoons, is unemployed, is infantilized, etc. They want a jack of all trades who can remodel a house and fix a car and play sports and hunt and fish, etc. But just be yourself and you will find the right woman.
Edited by Soul Flight (10/10/23 05:09 AM)
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,530
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so in your opinion a real man is what a real girl wants i.e. it's based on presumed attractors???
IME there are no real men or girls, and the people who exist are not defined by the imagined preferences of an opposite sex, mostly they are formed in early childhood and by the time they make it though puberty they are who they are.
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nooneman


Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 14,555
Loc: Utah
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They mean they want a stereotypical traditional man, that's all. They don't want a "real man" they want all those traditional masculine stereotypes. Watches football religiously, drinks beer, strong, tough, silent, no emotion, independent, rebellious, like sports, fishes, hunts, fights, owns a truck, religious, not very smart, not very educated, takes out the trash, mows the lawn, works on the car, does all the man jobs around the house, BBQs regularly, does all those traditional man things.
There's nothing wrong with that, but they don't really want a real man, they want someone who fits in to all the traditions and stereotypes.
The weird part is the contradictions, which is why I say they don't want a real man, they just want someone who fits in. If someone was really strong, tough, no emotion, independent and rebellious, they wouldn't necessarily follow any of these traditions because they wouldn't give a fuck. They would just do whatever they wanted, and maybe that includes stuff on this list and maybe it doesn't. You have to be weak and subservient to fit in and try to conform.
We could all do a great job at fitting in with all these things, instead of just living how we want. It wouldn't be hard, but I think most of us are stronger and more independent than that. If you really were strong why would you let other people tell you what to do, how to act, or who to be? You wouldn't.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,530
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Re: What is a "real" man? [Re: nooneman]
#28497944 - 10/09/23 05:51 PM (3 months, 17 days ago) |
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how can you say what they (presuming you mean girls or women) want, it's your imagination!
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sudly
Darwin's stagger

Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,797
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Pickers can't always be choosers can they?
Perhaps so.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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Rahz
Alive Again



Registered: 11/10/05
Posts: 9,229
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Re: What is a "real" man? [Re: sudly]
#28506612 - 10/16/23 09:39 AM (3 months, 11 days ago) |
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To address the topic with a serious answer, whatever a real man might be would also define a real woman.
And real in the sense it's being used sets up a false or fake man. Clearly there's some subjectivity to the question and answer, but perhaps some underlying gist that makes sense.
Being a real man or woman means: No whining and crying and complaining about things out of one's control, and taking action with things that are within one's control rather than whining and crying about it in the context of being an emotional burden on others, meaning that when seeking council one will be concerned with solutions rather than simply wanting validation and a way to dump their misery on others.
If we were talking about a real man/woman in a more sexual polarity oriented connotation, it could mean not being obsessive, subservient, fawning. Do be confident, attentive and engaging on a mental, emotional and physical level. Be willing to let go if necessary. Again, goes along with not crying and complaining about things out of one's control. If a girl doesn't like a real man, the real man lets go. If a girl likes a real man and it's mutual, the real man holds on loosely.
If there's one defining feature of a real man in this sense, it's to allow things to be as they are. This is the same for women and they're usually much better at it. Girls can get upset when things don't go their way but it rarely lasts for long. Guys are much more likely to mope and reach out for validation, stalk, try and exert influence, etc.
So while there are differences, a "real man" or woman is in contrast to a child (rather than the opposite sex). And while children often display signs of maturity it's also the stage of life where a human is learning about sympathy and need and experimenting with it all and finding what works, even if it's a burden on others, which essentially children are.
There is a dynamic in relationships in which some form of polarity dominant/submissive usually exists. It's arguable that a "real man" doesn't take a primarily submissive role, though to my mind much of this is based on mutual understanding rather than the more obtuse idea that one person does what another person says because there's some form of leverage in place to force compliance. That doesn't seem healthy or the mark of a "real man". Besides the formality of it, there is a practical sense that a man is usually stronger and therefore the primary protector. Women generally like to feel safe both with a man and from a man.
And again, I think this points to the gist of the phrase, which might be more simply said "adult" to provide a more proper context. "Real man" is cheeky, humorous, or mischievous, derogatory, but in any case, there is often a seed of truth pointing toward a lack of maturity... or maybe the one invoking the phrase is lacking in adulthood.
-------------------- rahz comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace "You’re not looking close enough if you can only see yourself in people who look like you." —Ayishat Akanbi
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,530
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Re: What is a "real" man? [Re: Rahz]
#28506803 - 10/16/23 12:11 PM (3 months, 11 days ago) |
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so its about being a top notch slave to society, which transcends how attracting you are to the more pulchritudinous sex.
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Rahz
Alive Again



Registered: 11/10/05
Posts: 9,229
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To my mind nothing I wrote lends itself to being a slave to society. Would you like to point out the part that seems so?
-------------------- rahz comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace "You’re not looking close enough if you can only see yourself in people who look like you." —Ayishat Akanbi
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,530
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Re: What is a "real" man? [Re: Rahz]
#28506887 - 10/16/23 01:23 PM (3 months, 11 days ago) |
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compliance etc.
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Rahz
Alive Again



Registered: 11/10/05
Posts: 9,229
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I didn't use the words comply or compliance so my question remains.
-------------------- rahz comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace "You’re not looking close enough if you can only see yourself in people who look like you." —Ayishat Akanbi
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,530
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Re: What is a "real" man? [Re: Rahz]
#28506946 - 10/16/23 02:12 PM (3 months, 11 days ago) |
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Quote:
Rahz said:... There is a dynamic in relationships in which some form of polarity dominant/submissive usually exists. It's arguable that a "real man" doesn't take a primarily submissive role, though to my mind much of this is based on mutual understanding rather than the more obtuse idea that one person does what another person says because there's some form of leverage in place to force compliance. That doesn't seem healthy or the mark of a "real man". Besides the formality of it, there is a practical sense that a man is usually stronger and therefore the primary protector. Women generally like to feel safe both with a man and from a man. ...
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