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champinhom
Lord Justhappensness


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 987
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in defence of the non-heroic dose 1
#22239109 - 09/14/15 10:52 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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So, I came home today after an enjoyable scooter ride doing errands here and there. I looked into my fruiting chamber and found, growing in a half gallon mason jar, a large and newly opened mushroom--Texas strain. I picked it and weighed it--23 grams. Not bad for an invitro grow.
Now I had to make a decision. Should I cook the thing up into some tea for immediate consumption, or should I dry it for later, say, the weekend? I was not really sorely tempted to trip today--in fact I was pretty sorely tempted to Not trip. Tripping is hard work, hard fucking work, if you know what I mean. And there is always the specter of a trip turned rogue, turned ugly, gone bad.
I can recall, when I was much younger, drinking, both with friends and alone, and suddenly finding myself walking down some railroad track without my wallet, watch, and, if I remember right, without my flipping belt. Another time I came to in a straitjacket. Another time I came to running through the steet after throwing a rock through a church window. Dear God, just thinking of all this now makes me sad.
Enough background. You get the picture. I am acquainted with losing it completely after ingesting a substance. It is not fun. It is the most not fun thing I can think of. So, today, I was ambivalent about tripping. I am not a young man. Tripping is hard on me. But...
I went for it. I would take this big mushroom of unknown potency, cook it into some lemony tea and drink it while chewing on a big piece of raw ginger that I hoped would both mask the nightmareishly bad taste of mushroom tea, and defend me from eventual nausea.And that is just what I did.(I also put 6 or so drops of lemon essential oil into the brew--another great nausea-buster)
After drinking the nasty stuff I lay down on my bed to wait. I started listening to a podcast--stored on my phone--of a Peter Brown satsang. I listened to this for an hour, and then turned it off. The usual mushroom stuff was going on--faces floating in the dark wearing a smile that would slowly degrade into a horrible leering devil's grin. Lots of colored bits of fluff and pulsing red clouds--you know, the usual.
Then I started, as I often do on mushrooms, to get ill at ease, anxious. I began to beat the shit out of myself for my admittedly legionary--if I can use the word in this context--multitude of faults and failings. In particular I remembered my aunt, who suffered years with depression, how I hurt her one day when she unexpectedly came to visit. My whole being contracted in shame. I started crying. I realized that I hadn't mourned her death at all. Passed it over almost without noticng it. This was the first time I felt into the huge sorrow of her 20 year fight. She even tried to kill herself once swallowing a whole bottle of tranquilers.
I put on the podcast again. I listened. The great grief I was feeling passed. Other thoughts came. Some amusing, some depressing, some so so. More colors--you know how it is on mushrooms, waves of intensity, troughs of near normality. Then more waves. I thought of a friend I hadn't spoken to in a year. I said to her, "Well?" meaning, well, are you still mad or what? She smiled warmly. Happy me. Then I thought of another person whom I hadn't heard from in months who had once sworn to be my friend forever. I saw her face, but it was not smiling. I knew intuitively that she had broken her oath. How sad I felt. I thought of others I knew but had not seen for quite a while. I was surprised that some smiled at me from whom I expected frowns and some frowned from whom I had thought really liked me.
I lay there feeling more and more the impermanence of all these likes and dislikes.Happy, sad, happy again, sad again. Surprised. How funny. Not a nano second did anything really stick around. I relaxed. Why should I be afraid that one of these emotions was going to drag me spiraling into a bad trip? How funny. All I had to do was wait until the nasty fuckers fell away--which, I saw clearly again and again, was absolutley the only thing they COULD do. How astonishing!
There is more but I want to cut this report to a size people will read. I think I have said enough to justify the title of this post. No?
--------------------
-------------------- My father used to say: I don't care what else you do in life, just don't be an asshole. People, forgive me when I forget what my daddy said. Cut back the proliferating list of people whose opinions can hurt you. Unless they have done or want to do you some good, their views are just not worth tracking. Saul Bellow “People are just cannibals unless they leave each other alone.” Doris Lessing Those whom the gods would save, they dower with compassion. Mr. P. Silocybin
Edited by champinhom (09/15/15 11:24 PM)
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Achillita
Back to the basics



Registered: 05/26/14
Posts: 4,565
Last seen: 3 years, 10 days
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Re: in defence of the non-heroic dose [Re: champinhom]
#22239126 - 09/14/15 10:57 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I read this, and I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.
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champinhom
Lord Justhappensness


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 987
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Re: in defence of the non-heroic dose [Re: Achillita]
#22239146 - 09/14/15 11:02 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Achillita said: I read this, and I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.
I didn't expect you to.
-------------------- My father used to say: I don't care what else you do in life, just don't be an asshole. People, forgive me when I forget what my daddy said. Cut back the proliferating list of people whose opinions can hurt you. Unless they have done or want to do you some good, their views are just not worth tracking. Saul Bellow “People are just cannibals unless they leave each other alone.” Doris Lessing Those whom the gods would save, they dower with compassion. Mr. P. Silocybin
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Achillita
Back to the basics



Registered: 05/26/14
Posts: 4,565
Last seen: 3 years, 10 days
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Re: in defence of the non-heroic dose [Re: champinhom]
#22239186 - 09/14/15 11:20 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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After looking it over again, you'r talking about a trip report with a potent mushroom right?
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champinhom
Lord Justhappensness


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 987
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Re: in defence of the non-heroic dose [Re: Achillita]
#22241845 - 09/15/15 03:29 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Achillita said: After looking it over again, you'r talking about a trip report with a potent mushroom right?
The mushroom was an ordinary cube, Texas variety, that weighed 23 grams. I would say the potency was average. 23 grams wet is 2.3 grams dry. That is the low, non heroic dose refered to in the post title. I should have explained the connection between the title and the body of the post, made the connection explicit. Sorry.
-------------------- My father used to say: I don't care what else you do in life, just don't be an asshole. People, forgive me when I forget what my daddy said. Cut back the proliferating list of people whose opinions can hurt you. Unless they have done or want to do you some good, their views are just not worth tracking. Saul Bellow “People are just cannibals unless they leave each other alone.” Doris Lessing Those whom the gods would save, they dower with compassion. Mr. P. Silocybin
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lillFish
Daydreamer



Registered: 01/18/09
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Loc: Recliner
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Re: in defence of the non-heroic dose [Re: champinhom]
#22242121 - 09/15/15 04:45 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
champinhom said:
Quote:
Achillita said: I read this, and I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.
I didn't expect you to.
I know what you're saying and I think it's beautiful. I love how trips can bring up issues and emotions that need to be dealt with. Sometimes, you just have to dive in and not think too much about what you're going to experience. Sometimes, only a small dose is needed to help you realize and learn things about yourself and the other people in your life. Thank you for sharing.
-------------------- My Wish & Trade list
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MoxyOx
Grazin'

Registered: 10/08/10
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Re: in defence of the non-heroic dose [Re: lillFish]
#22242230 - 09/15/15 05:01 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Self reflective trips are the best. I'm not a fan of the heroic dose mindset, it's a gigantic whirlpool of madness. Perhaps I'm not ready yet.
-------------------- No one behind, no one ahead. The path the ancients cleared has closed. And the other path, everyone's path, easy and wide, goes nowhere. I am alone and find my way.
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Salomon
ಠ︵ಠ balance ಠ_ಠ weaver ಠ‿ಠ

Registered: 01/17/09
Posts: 25,128
Loc: America, FUCK YEAH
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Re: in defence of the non-heroic dose [Re: champinhom]
#22242285 - 09/15/15 05:10 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
champinhom said:
Another time I came to in a straitjacket.
go on....
-------------------- EVERYTHING EVENTUALLY BECOMES A DESERT
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champinhom
Lord Justhappensness


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 987
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Re: in defence of the non-heroic dose [Re: lillFish]
#22243884 - 09/15/15 11:07 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
lillFish said:
I know what you're saying and I think it's beautiful. I love how trips can bring up issues and emotions that need to be dealt with. Sometimes, you just have to dive in and not think too much about what you're going to experience. Sometimes, only a small dose is needed to help you realize and learn things about yourself and the other people in your life. Thank you for sharing. 
Thank you for reading.
-------------------- My father used to say: I don't care what else you do in life, just don't be an asshole. People, forgive me when I forget what my daddy said. Cut back the proliferating list of people whose opinions can hurt you. Unless they have done or want to do you some good, their views are just not worth tracking. Saul Bellow “People are just cannibals unless they leave each other alone.” Doris Lessing Those whom the gods would save, they dower with compassion. Mr. P. Silocybin
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Detached
You know where...


Registered: 02/27/15
Posts: 2,942
Last seen: 10 months, 15 days
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Re: in defence of the non-heroic dose [Re: champinhom]
#22243891 - 09/15/15 11:09 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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tldr
Just eat it.
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champinhom
Lord Justhappensness


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 987
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Re: in defence of the non-heroic dose [Re: MoxyOx]
#22243931 - 09/15/15 11:19 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
MoxyOx said: it's a gigantic whirlpool of madness.
How true that is. I would say this: If thoughts and emotions have the power to depress you when you are sober, if a negative self image lords it over you and you can't get out from under it, can't walk away from it --then what do you think is going to happen on a high dose of a substance that has the capacity to magnify these thoughts and feelings and images 100 times?
So, before fooling with big doses, practice kicking the bad thoughts and feelings around a little. Let them know they can't automatically whack you any time they want--which, sadly, is the case with the average man in the street. He believes every thought and feeling that comes through.
That is one reason high doses scare me: I am not sure I can always catch the negative stuff before it does a number on me.
Another reason: Mushrooms are not the easiest thing for an old body to metabolize.
-------------------- My father used to say: I don't care what else you do in life, just don't be an asshole. People, forgive me when I forget what my daddy said. Cut back the proliferating list of people whose opinions can hurt you. Unless they have done or want to do you some good, their views are just not worth tracking. Saul Bellow “People are just cannibals unless they leave each other alone.” Doris Lessing Those whom the gods would save, they dower with compassion. Mr. P. Silocybin
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Detached
You know where...


Registered: 02/27/15
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Re: in defence of the non-heroic dose [Re: champinhom]
#22243935 - 09/15/15 11:20 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Another reason: Mushrooms are not the easiest thing for an old body to metabolize.
Very true. LSD on the other hand though...
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champinhom
Lord Justhappensness


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 987
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Re: in defence of the non-heroic dose [Re: Salomon]
#22243944 - 09/15/15 11:24 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Salomon said:
go on.... 
Later.
-------------------- My father used to say: I don't care what else you do in life, just don't be an asshole. People, forgive me when I forget what my daddy said. Cut back the proliferating list of people whose opinions can hurt you. Unless they have done or want to do you some good, their views are just not worth tracking. Saul Bellow “People are just cannibals unless they leave each other alone.” Doris Lessing Those whom the gods would save, they dower with compassion. Mr. P. Silocybin
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champinhom
Lord Justhappensness


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 987
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Re: in defence of the non-heroic dose [Re: Detached]
#22254177 - 09/18/15 12:32 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Detached said: Another reason: Mushrooms are not the easiest thing for an old body to metabolize.
Very true. LSD on the other hand though...
LSD is hard to come by, and good LSD is even harder. If I could produce my own, I would.
-------------------- My father used to say: I don't care what else you do in life, just don't be an asshole. People, forgive me when I forget what my daddy said. Cut back the proliferating list of people whose opinions can hurt you. Unless they have done or want to do you some good, their views are just not worth tracking. Saul Bellow “People are just cannibals unless they leave each other alone.” Doris Lessing Those whom the gods would save, they dower with compassion. Mr. P. Silocybin
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